A/N: Beware of speech impediment jokes as well as more sexual stuff! Oh yeah, and GarretPI, you asked if I've got a Beta reader. Yes and no, he only checks when he has time, and usually he doesn't, so I try to quickly check it over myself. That's probably why there's always a few errors here and there, but I don't want to diss my friend and get someone else to beta it for me, so I'll try to coax him to work harder.And besides, I don't want even one person to know what's going to happen before anyone else! As usual, reviews are good.
Naruto stared at Jiraiya, uncertainly, who stared back, still in disbelief. Inside Naruto's head, he was instinctively thinking of excuses, but none seemed appropriate. Naruto decided to try his trump card. He started to form seals, then punched his palms together.
"Sexy no Jutsu!"
In a puff of smoke, Naruto transformed to his female form, posing sexily in front of Jiraiya.
"Mou, Jiraiya-sama! Don't tell anyone that I'm Boxer-sama, o-ne-ga-i?" he said with a cute, high-pitched girl voice. Jiraiya's face instantly melted into his perverted look, drooling insatiably. However, a sudden recollection of Tsunade's fist made him snap out of it.
"Sorry Naruto, that's not going to cut it this time," he said with a hint of regret at passing down a chance to play around with 'sexy' Naruto.
"Hey, what's that on the ground? Let me bend over and pick it up..." Naruto said, bending down sexily, causing Jiraiya to blow a vein. However, Tsuande's fist once again scared the bejeezus out of him, bringing him back.
"Quit it, Naruto." Jiraiya said beggingly.
Naruto transformed back, running out of ideas.
"Please, Ero-sennin, don't tell anyone who I am! If you do, Sasuke won't acknowledge me!" he pleaded. Jiraiya looked at him in confusion.
"I have no idea what you're talking about, but our Hokage asked me to find out who Boxer-sama is. It was an order, Naruto. I'm going to have to tell her."
"Ero-sennin, please?" he whined, latching onto his leg. Jiraiya looked at him in surprise, shaking him about in irritation.
"Why the hell are you so attached to this Boxer-sama thing for?" he groaned.
"I can't let anyone know!" he yelled out. "I don't want to be known as some idiot that accidentally showed up in boxers and beat up some famous guy! I want people to know me because I'm Uzumaki Naruto!"
Naruto calmed down and let go of Jiraiya's leg, sitting on the ground with a determined face. "I don't like being Boxer-sama. I tried to get rid of him. But it didn't work. Now it'll be even worse if people find out it's me!"
Naruto imagined everyone laughing at him. Sakura thinking he was idiot for running around in boxers. Sasuke telling him he failed his challenge. People being serious when they say 'I've seen Paris, I've seen France, I've seen Naruto's underpants". He knew that Boxer-sama was the one they loved, and definitely not Naruto, the fox-beast of a boy. Every village would find out, and he'd never become Hokage.
"You really don't get it, do you?" Jiraiya murmured under his breath.
"What? I didn't hear you," Naruto asked.
"Nothing," Jiraiya said, thinking to himself. He was surprised that Naruto hadn't realized what good Boxer-sama could do him.
Jiraiya had in fact taken an interest in Boxer-sama's activities fairly early, thinking that Boxer-sama had carried some heroic traits. A warrior who protected people, someone who fought for the sake of protecting, not for fame. He saw valuable characteristics for a position such as Hokage. Which is why he was surprised greatly to know that Naruto, the boy who seeked recognition, and Boxer-sama, a mysterious warrior who fought without identity, were one and the same.
Jiraiya took a deep breath and sat by him, twiddling his thumbs. "What to do, what to do… Look, Naruto, I'll make a deal with you. I won't tell anyone…"
"Really?" Naruto shot up in joy. "Thank you, Ero-sennin!" he yelled, hugging him.
"W-Wait a minute, dammit! I said it's a deal!" Jiraiya said in surprise from Naruto's sudden attack. "You've got to do something for me. By not telling Tsunade, she's going to be mighty pissed off with me. God knows what she'll do when she gets me."
"I'll do anything, anything at all!" Naruto said with bright eyes. Jiraiya replied with a smirk.
"Hey Naruto, can you meet me tomorrow…"
The next day, Boxer-sama, dressed in his heart-patterned boxers, stood in front of the hot springs, carrying a bucket and towel. A long, deep red ninja balaclava masked his face: a present from Jiraiya (the kind you see in old school ninja movies, the name of the headgear escapes me). He squinted in wonder.
"Strange, why does he want to meet me in the baths? He even said that if I meet him as Boxer-sama, he won't tell Tsunade-obaasan (old lady, again hoping I spelt it correctly)," he shrugged with a smile. "Oh well, as long as he doesn't tell her. Let's go!"
Boxer-sama waltzed in and up to the counter, where a bored man was skimming through a magazine. "Excuse me," Boxer-sama said in his altered voice. "I'd like to use the bath. How much?"
The man, a skinny guy with a massive mole near his lip, a comb over, and heavy eyeliner on his eyes, grumbled, annoyed that he was being disturbed, and looked up. After noticing his face was covered he looked down and noticed the boxers.
"B-B-B-B-BOKTHER-THAMA!" he squealed in surprise with a silly voice. Apparently he also had a lisp, completing his 'unique' character traits. "It'th really you! The one and only! It's thuch an honor!" the man said, jumping out of his booth to shake Boxer-sama's hand. "I feel tho blethed!"
"Um, right," Boxer-sama said blandly. "So how much to use the baths?"
"For you, thir?" he said politely. "Nothing! For a thuper thelebrity thuch ath yourthelf, you're coming here ith payment enough! Oh I can't wait to tell everyone, I'll have the motht popular hot thpring ever! Er," the man slid towards Boxer-sama, whispering to him. "You haven't gone to any other hot thpringth, have you?"
"Uh… No."
"Yeth!" he squealed in delight. Boxer-sama glared at him with impatient eyes. "Ah, yeth! I'm tho tho thorry for holding you, pleathe! Thep inthide!"
Boxer-sama sighed, pushing aside the curtain and stepping into the male side. Nobody was around, and Jiraiya apparently hadn't arrived yet. He was about to remove his mask when his discussion with Jiraiya flashed in his head.
FLASHBACK
"You want me to meet you at that hot springs as Boxer-sama?" Naruto asked curiously. "Why?"
"The only thing you have to know is that if you do this, I won't tell Tsunade. But you have to follow my rules completely."
Naruto nodded exuberantly, unable to believe how easy it would be for him to get off the hook.
"Number One: When you are at the hot springs, under no circumstances will you leave until I get there. No matter what!" he emphasized. "Number Two: Don't tell anyone who you are, no matter what. And finally…"
"Yeah?" Naruto asked impatiently.
"Rule Number Three: You must not remove your mask, or let anyone remove it for you."
Naruto blinked at him blankly. "Is that it?" he laughed out. "This'll be a cinch!"
Naruto got up and waved goodbye after they confirmed when to meet. Jiraiya wasted no time in preparing his plan, pulling out a stack of paper and a pen.
"We'll see if it's a cinch, eh, Naruto?" he smirked.
Naruto's hand slid away from his facemask, intent on following Jiraiya's rules. He sat by the cleaning area and quickly washed himself up. He then jumped into the springs with a splash.
"Oops, gotta maintain Boxer-sama…" he thought out aloud. He sat in the springs, trying to look composed, but due to his fussy nature, fiddled and splashed about a lot. "Mou, that damn Ero-sennin's late! He's becoming like Kakashi!"
"Eh? You got one too?" Sakura asked Ino in front of the bathhouse. They had 'incidentally' bumped into one another.
"The free bath ticket? Yeah," Ino said, looking at Sakura's one. "You've got the same one too! Do you know who sent it?"
"No idea," Sakura replied, staring at her ticket. It said 'Free Bath use from xx:xx - xx:xx. Specially reserved for you! –A Friend'. At the sound of footsteps, they turned to see Hinata, Tenten, Tsunade, Kurenai, Shizune, and Anko approaching as well, also holding the same ticket.
"Eh? You two as well?" Tsunade remarked.
"What a coincidence," Tenten remarked slyly. "A bit too coincidental."
"Perhaps…" Hinata started, playing with her hands. "This is Naruto's way of saying sorry for yesterday."
'I guess that's possible…' Tsunade thought to herself, then blushed slightly.
"Naruto?" Sakura started. "That guy? Ha! That'll be the day."
"Who cares why we got them?" Anko said with a smirk. "Let's go enjoy 'em!"
They walked in and headed for the ladies' side. Unknown to them outside, at the very same spot as he was in yesterday, was Jiraiya, glaring intently, this time bringing binoculars to better enjoy the show. But for once, and he hoped the only time in his lifetime, he wasn't there for the girls.
"Oh, great God of Perversion," he prayed to his imaginary God. "Please forgive me for this unsightly deed. Overlook that I didn't arrive for the girls…"
However, as he saw the girls walk in, his mind was completely disrupted once more. "Ah… Then again, I think I can peek for a little while to keep you happy, O great Perverted One."
Boxer-sama sat in the springs, the heat getting to him. He had waiting for two hours, and still Jiraiya hadn't shown up. He heard people entering on the other side, but couldn't care less, more worried about his temperature.
"Dammit, if I stay here for too long, I'm gonna get cooked…" he panted. He tried to get up, but found himself unable to. "Huh?" he yanked again, but his backside felt like it was glued to the ground.
Jiraiya, watching from a distance, held his hands together in concentration. "Bare with my 'Stick Ass On Floor no jutsu' for now, Naruto…" he said, smiling. "You'll be in heaven soon." (I utterly refuse to find the Japanese equivalent of this jutsu)
Boxer-sama was starting to feel dizzy, his consciousness leaving him. Finally he could take no more, and felt his eyes become heavy. He slowly passed out, sliding under the water like a dead fish, bubbles gurgling after him.
"Finally," Jiraiya exclaimed. He released his hands, breaking the seal he had placed on the Hot Springs floor. Forming more seals, he once more returned his hands together, using a technique he invented for 'reasearch' purposes.
"Hot Spring Divider Breaker no Jutsu!" (I utterly refuse to try and find a Japanese equivalent of this also)
In a flash of chakra, the dividing wall on the springs shattered to nothingness, breaking the only barrier between the male and female side. The girls screamed in shock, covering themselves frantically. Only to find one person on the other side, and he was knocked out.
"T-That's…!" Ino stuttered in surprise.
"Boxer-sama!" Sakura said in delight.
They gathered over to his side, looking at him in surprise. "Is he okay?"
"He's unconscious. The heat must've got him," Tsunade diagnosed. She smirked. "I guess I can finally find out who to blame for all my paperwork."
She reached for his mask and gave it a tug, only to find it was stuck on, hard. She pulled harder, but it still didn't budge. She put all her strength into it, but to no avail.
"Forget that!" Shizune said, trying to hide her feelings. "He needs medical attention. Let's take him to my place."
"No, my place!"
"My place!"
"No, mine!"
"Um, he's not looking very good…" Hinata said softly, noticing water flooded in his mouth. "I think he's choking."
"My place!" they continued to argue.
"Mine!"
"Okay, that's it, we'll settle this with some janken!" (rock paper scissors)
Jiraiya was sweating heavily in the distance, holding his palms together once again. He had to hold it until he was sure Tsunade would stop trying to pull off Naruto's mask.
"Jeez, that woman's too strong! She almost broke my technique with those devilish hands!" he said with a sigh. "You better appreciate this, Naruto."
Boxer-sama awoke to find himself in a bed. It wasn't the hospital, which he judged from the ceiling. The breeze told him that his shirt had been taken off, but thankfully his boxers remained. He looked around, and found himself surrounded by very familiar girls and women. He quickly shut his eyes, calling on the fox's chakra once more before opening them again.
"Sakura! Ino! Hinata! Tenten! Anko! Kurenai! Shizune! And Tsunade too!" he yelled in surprise, his eyes darting to each of them as he said their names, barely managing to hold his fake voice. Tsunade eyed him angrily.
"Grr, who are you? And how do you know our names? If only you hadn't sealed your mask with chakra, I'd have you…"
Boxer-sama felt around his face in relief. The mask was still there. He made to get up, but his body ached, causing him to moan in agony. The girls, other than Tsunade, grabbed him and lowered him down gently.
"You shouldn't move too much! You were burned pretty bad from the hot spring!" Shizune said, with worry in her voice. She was overjoyed that she could wait on Boxer-sama like this. "Do you need anything, perhaps a drink?"
"I'll get you a drink!" Tenten said, jumping up.
"Oh no! I'll get it!" Sakura said, running for the tap.
Ino and Shizune also got up, squeezing into the doorway with them as they fought for the tap and glass.
"Ha, t-these kids!" Kurenai said, giggling nervously, but she showed signs of wanting to get up and fight to get him a drink too, twitching and fidgeting. Apparently, meeting Boxer-sama this close, and noticing his toned, youth-filled body had gotten her heart racing for the one and only.
Anko laughed out loud. "Must be nice to have so many girls wanting to please you, huh?" she taunted Boxer-sama with sharp eyes and a sexy smile.
Boxer-sama stared at her, then looked away, feeling she could see his red face.
"But you know, they're not the only ones who find you impressive," Anko said seductively, getting up and leaning over his face. "I find strong men very… attractive." (Explains Orochimaru, eh?)
"A-Anko? You too?" Kurenai said with surprise. Inside, she was dying to shove Anko away and jump on Boxer-sama herself.
Boxer-sama pushed his head down in embarrassment, trying to stay away from her. She was suddenly pushed away by a barrage of four girls, all holding glasses of water.
"Keep away from him!" they yelled.
"Hey, I can't help it if I've got the goods for him," Anko smiled, licking her lips. "Like all strong men, I'm sure Boxer-sama likes them big."
"You're not the only one with big breasts!" Kurenai said, clutching at her chest, and surprising all the others.
"Hey! Mine are big, too!" Shizune shouted without thinking.
Tsunade looked at Shizune with a puckered mouth. "Shizune, what are you getting all worked up for?"
Shizune froze in surprise. "I uh… Well…"
Anko took this chance to throw herself onto Boxer-sama again, her chest squeezing into his face. Boxer-sama's face went red in surprise, feeling as though he was going to go unconscious again.
"Get off him!" they yelled again, pulling her off. All hell broke loose as a massive and sexy catfight ensued, filled with ninja techniques, nails, and the like. Tsunade had gotten up to try and calm everyone down, but after getting punched by a random fist decided to join the fray. Eventually someone used 'Mudpit no Jutsu', turning the room into one big wrestling ring, complete with muddy, beautiful girls tackling one another. Man's Heaven on Earth.
Boxer-sama decided this would be a good chance to sneak off. But as he was about to reach the door, someone tapped him on the back. He spun around and saw Hinata, the only spectator of the fight, who was once again holding medicine for him.
"This will… Help for the burns. It's to say thank you... For last week," she said shyly, looking down. Boxer-sama accepted it, smiling underneath his mask.
"Thanks again, Hinata," Boxer-sama said happily, Naruto almost losing his fake voice. "You always seem to help me a lot at these times!"
'Uh oh, shouldn't have said that,' Naruto thought to himself. 'Why do I keep screwing up?'
"These times?" Hinata repeated. She thought back to people she'd given medicine to before, and one special person stood out grandly. "Are you…?"
Before she could finish, Boxer-sama had darted out of the door, running away as fast as he could. Hinata stared at the door, then looked at her hand.
"Could it be…?"
Naruto dashed back to Jiraiya's hut, ripping off his facemask. He saw Jiraiya sitting there, casually having a cup of tea.
"Jiraiya! What the hell was that about? Why didn't you show up!" Naruto asked in anger.
"Calm down, Naruto. Everything went as I had hoped," he took a sip of his tea, then smirked at Naruto with perverted eyes. "Did you enjoy their attention?"
"S-Shut up! I'm not a pervert like you!" Naruto yelled in defense. His face slowly began to glow red.
"Hehe, your face tells me otherwise," Jiraiya commented smugly.
Naruto wouldn't admit it, but he did enjoy the attention, something he got very rarely. On a plus, they were all beautiful girls. Naruto had been maturing unknowingly, starting to think about girls in a more romantic way. Past the puppy love he had for Sakura, anyway.
"Anyway, what do you mean, 'as you had hoped'?" Naruto asked impatiently.
Jiraiya set his cup down and looked at Naruto seriously. "Naruto, remember what happened when you toppled into the hot springs last time with me?"
Naruto shuddered. "Of course I do. They pounded the crap out of me."
Jiraiya stared at him. "Compare that to what happened today."
Naruto opened his mouth to say something, then shut it again. He sighed, a tinge of sadness in his eyes. "That's only because it was Boxer-sama. They didn't even ask me if I was okay, and for crying out loud I toppled over a small cliff! Everyone loves Boxer-sama, though. His well-being is important."
Jiraiya frowned at him. "Isn't that the same as saying everyone loves you and cares for your well-being, Naruto?"
Naruto laughed out uncertainly. "Of course not. Boxer-sama and I are totally different."
"Is that so?" Jiraiya asked. "From what I see, you two are exactly the same. Boxer-sama fights for the people, and is a very kind person," he motioned towards Naruto. "And deep down, you are the exact same. Boxer-sama is just Naruto with boxers on. Don't you get it?"
Naruto squinted at him. "Get what?"
Jiraiya reached out and smacked Naruto across the head.
"OW! What the hell was that for?" Naruto asked, rubbing his head.
"You're an idiot!" Jiraiya said in annoyance. "It's harsh, but as Naruto, nobody will even give you a chance! But with Boxer-sama, you have an opportunity to make the name Uzumaki Naruto known! As Boxer-sama, you've finally got a chance to show everyone what you've got, and when you reveal who you really are, they'll have no choice but to accept that the person they've acknowledged is Uzumaki Naruto! That the person they've seen to be a strong, dependable person is you!"
Naruto squinted at Jiraiya. "I don't get it…"
Jiraiya sighed and hit him again.
"Ow! Jeez!" Naruto whined.
"I'll spell it out for you, Naruto. Don't be ashamed of Boxer-sama!" Jiraiya said with a smile. "Because he's you!" He smirked. "He even looks like a clown, just like you!" he added with a laugh.
"Oi! Shut up, Ero-sennin!" Naruto said with a smirk, jumping on him. "I don't care, I still think Boxer-sama is nothing compared to me!"
'Wow, Ero-sennin set all this up, just for me! Even if i don't get it...' Naruto thought to himself with a smile. 'Oh well. I think a little better of him now…'
"Oh, by the way, you left the springs and broke one of my rules, so I've got to tell Tsunade!" he exclaimed.
Naruto stopped attacking, looking at him blankly.
"W-WHAT?" Naruto gasped in horror.
"I'm kidding! I'm kidding!" Jiraiya bellowed. "But you've gotta do me another favor."
'Grr, I was wrong! This guy is bad! Very bad!' Naruto yelled inside.
"What is it this time, Ero-sennin?" Naruto asked.
Jiraiya laughed rowdily, his face beet red, as he swung his mug in the air.
"Whoo! Yeah!" he called out in intoxicated joy, as he watched the numerous Narutos in 'sexy' form, dancing to the song "Whip It" by Devo. They were dressed in kinky cowboy outfits, cracking their whips to the music.
"I hate you, you perverted old fart." Naruto growled, but his voice was drowned out by the music.
END CHAPTER 4
God it's disturbing, but face it, 'sexy' Naruto is pretty damn sexy. Crack that whip...