"Okay… So first off, the girls are here because they want to help Boxer-sama," Shizune began. The girls nodded in confirmation. "… And the boys are here to kill Boxer-sama," she continued, and the boys nodded this time, causing Boxer-sama to laugh nervously. "… And while Gaara was probably here to kill Boxer-sama, Kankurou is basically not sure why he's here." Kankurou nodded philosophically, brushing his chin as though he had a large beard.
They were all seated in the cave around the fire after their unusual incident of the boys catching fire due to Lee's insanely dangerous 'youthful spirit'. In fact, they still had plenty of scorch marks on them, even after Shizune healed them to the best of her ability. Lee's youthful spirit was that powerful.
"Please, Shizune-sensei! Let us stay and help Boxer-sama fight!" Sakura urged insistently.
"I don't know…" Shizune wondered. "Tsunade wouldn't be too happy with me if I let you all come with us."
"Pleaaaase?" they begged, getting on their knees and clutching their hands together, as though Shizune was some sort of god.
Shizune sighed in defeat. "Well, I guess it's oka-"
"No."
The girls recognized his voice, and looked over at Boxer-sama in surprise.
"B-Boxer-sama?" Temari gasped.
Boxer-sama looked up at them with his stern, red eyes. "I don't want you all to stay here."
They tried their best not to show it, but the Jounins were fairly happy he said that. Though they were also confused as to why he would refuse them.
"W-Why, Boxer-sama?" Tenten asked. "Don't you remember when we thought that panty thief together? The one that was related to Neji and Sasuke?"
Neji and Sasuke suddenly began to sulk incredibly. "…You didn't have to add that last part…" they mumbled, attracting a dark aura around them.
"Of course I remember," Boxer-sama replied, looking down. "That's why I don't want you all to be there."
"What the heck does that mean?" Temari asked, losing her temper. "Aren't we good enough to help you?"
"That's not it-"
"It is, isn't it?" Ino said, hurt. "You just don't think we can keep up with you."
"I said no. I-"
"We may not be as powerful as you, but I'm sure we can help!" Sakura exclaimed.
"Yeah! We have our own special skills too!" Tenten yelled. "Even Hinata wants to help! You shouldn't look down on us just because you're stronger than us!"
"I said that's not it!" Boxer-sama yelled, a tinge of frustration in his voice. The girls suddenly went silent. Even the boys were looking at him.
Boxer-sama's eyes narrowed as he looked down sadly. "I'm not looking down on you, I just… I don't think that I can protect all of you. And if somebody got hurt, or worse, killed, then I'd never forgive myself."
Gaara's eye twitched slightly at the sound of his comment. 'This person… He sounds like somebody I know. Somebody…'
"All I'm saying is…" Boxer-sama stood up and walked away from them a bit, then spun around to look at everyone. "… I plan to protect Konoha to the best of my ability. As long as there's even one person of Konoha to protect…" He gave a nice-guy pose, causing Lee to light on fire in surprise and despair at the same time, seeing his favorite teacher's pose being used by the one who destroyed him. The boys knew to stay away from Lee this time.
"… I will protect Konoha with my life."
Jiraiya glared up at him, grinning madly. 'Naruto, you dog! You're becoming more like the Fourth every day!'
The girls were looking up at him with stars in their eyes. They suddenly jumped up and crashed into him. Except for Hinata, of course, who was instead growing ever more suspicious about who Boxer-sama could be, as his personality seemed awfully familiar to her.
"Kyaa! Boxer-sama!" the girls squealed, latching onto Boxer-sama and hugging him tightly. Boxer-sama was struggling to breathe, with all the sets of 'girl's chest weight' mashing into his face. He even felt one or two of them poke him in the eye a few times.
Jiraiya was still staring at him, except now with tears of joy. 'Oh Naruto! You're becoming more like me too! Good job, kid! Good job!'
"Okay, if you put it that way, then I guess we'll go…" Sakura said reluctantly after the girls had finally removed themselves from Boxer-sama, leaving him breathless and flushed.
Shizune then moved on to dealing with the boys, who were jealously staring at Boxer-sama after the girls had piled onto him so hastily.
"Well, you're all here to kill Boxer-sama," she said, with a tone of annoyance for the boy as her eyebrow twitch vehemently. She didn't like the thought of someone killing her secret desire. "So I guess the smartest thing to do would be to make you all leave."
The boys grunted stubbornly. "Fine, we don't want to be here anyway," Shikamaru said for them. He stood up to walk, and his face suddenly went pale.
"…Shikamaru?" Chouji asked, noticing the strange look on his face. Chouji stood up too, and suddenly looked just like Shikamaru. The other boys tried standing after him, and they all had strange looks on their face. Except Shino, who just looked like Shino.
"Uh… Guys? You okay?" Ino asked curiously. She got up, and walked over to Shikamaru. Curiously, she tapped him on the chest.
"YEEEEOOOOWWWW!"
Shikamaru leapt in pain, hitting both Sasuke and Neji in the process.
"ARRRRGGGHHH!"
Sasuke and Neji faltered back in agony, bumping into Chouji, Kiba, and Lee.
"GAAAAAAAAHHHHH!"
All of the boys screamed in agony, then suddenly all of them fell back onto Shino.
"…The combined weight of all of you, coupled with my second degree burns, is putting me in a new hell. And the fact that all of your struggling is forcing the fabric of my clothes to rub onto the burns on my skin is not helping. In fact, it is extremely painful."
Shizune looked at them, somewhat nervous. "I guess Lee's er… 'spirit' was too much for their bodies." She sighed reluctantly. "I guess they'll just have to stay with us until they're better."
"Eh?" the girls exclaimed. "If the boys can stay, then we should stay too!"
"W-What?" Boxer-sama exclaimed. "B-But I just convinced you all to go, didn't I?"
"If the girls are staying, then we're going!" Shikamaru said angrily, but the moment he tried to get up, he fell down again, cringing into a ball.
"If the boys are staying, then we're staying!" Sakura repeated, and the girls planted their behinds snugly onto the ground.
"Oh God…" Shizune sighed weakly. She glanced over at Gaara and Kankurou. "Do you two intend on staying here too?"
"Do we?" Kankurou asked, becoming philosophical once again, his left eye crinkling in whimsical thought. "Is there some reason in our staying? Perhaps our decision was made before we even considered it. Why am I here? What is my purpose? What is the Matri-"
Gaara, who was twitching violently while Kankurou was spouting his questions, had once again enclosed Kankurou in a prison of sand, sealing his mouth shut. "Yes, we intend to stay." After hearing Boxer-sama's speech, he knew that he had met the man behind the mask, and he was determined to find out who it was, so he could kill him for being so damn popular with everyone.
Shizune sighed once again. "Well, Boxer-sama, it looks like everyone's staying."
"No, we're not!" the boys argued, standing up and falling down over and over while yelping in pain.
"Yes, you are!" the girls yelled at them. If the boys left, then they would have to leave too, and they didn't want that.
And all the while, Kankurou was being violently flailed about by Gaara, who was getting sick of Kankurou's stupid questions. Boxer-sama sighed, suddenly feeling tired. That was when he realized.
"Uh… Guys? Not that I have much choice whether you stay or not anymore, but… We've only got four tents."
Everyone stopped fighting and looked at him. And Boxer-sama could've sworn he saw the eyes of every girl there flash evilly. Along with that, the eyes of every boy flashed with a murderous intent. Except Jiraiya, he was looking quite excited about the ordeal.
"…Oh God, I'm screwed, aren't I?"
After lots of fussing and arguing, they managed to divide the tents with relative decency. Even though the tents were meant for roughly two or three in each maximum, they decided they would have to cramp in to fit everybody, as their party had risen from five to twenty.
With much reluctance on Jiraiya's side, one of the tents would belong to all of the arriving boys, to their dismay including Gaara, as well as Jiraiya.
"I refuse to bunk with a bunch of sunburnt boys!" Jiraiya complained maliciously.
"Face it, Ero-sennin," Boxer-sama whispered to him. "Nobody else here will ever want to bunk with you. I should know."
While Boxer-sama hadn't meant for it to imply anything other than the fact that he smelt like frogs, Jiraiya took it badly, giving Boxer-sama a good whack on the back of the head.
The second tent was to be for all the newly arrived girls, the third for the Jounins, and the final tent was to be just for Boxer-sama.
"Why the hell does that freak get his own tent?" Sasuke asked coldly.
"Well, it's important that he gets good rest for this mission," Shizune explained. "After all, he is facing the Akatsuki."
"Tch, he'll lose either way, my brother-" Sasuke's 'Avenger' speech was quickly halted by Shikamaru's hand shooting for his mouth. Everybody breathed a sigh of relief.
"Good job, Shikamaru-kun," Shizune commented before continuing. "So, Boxer-sama's tent will be his own, and uh…" Shizune quickly added a final note. "Should he choose to, he can kindly let one of us stay with him in his tent if he wants to be nice and help us make room."
A shiver ran up Boxer-sama's spine as he received lustful looks from the girls. They had in fact planned this while they were sorting the tents. Using their 'women talk' (Men don't understand this…haha) they agreed to let Boxer-sama choose who would share a tent with him. That is, if Boxer-sama was actually capable of asking someone to share a tent with him.
"Anyway, it's getting late. Everybody get to their assigned tents and get some rest. Good night, everyone." Shizune then moved into the Jounins' tent, followed by Kurenai and Anko, as they tried to squeeze into the tent. Anko's head popped out for a moment after they were all in.
"Hey Boxer-sama, if you let me share your tent, I can give you a… 'special' massage," she said with a perverted wink, causing Boxer-sama to blush hotly.
The girls managed to get into their tent fairly calmly, even if they were a little uncomfortable. Boxer-sama heard light conversation happening between them before Ino's head popped out.
"Hey guys, Hinata and Tenten were wondering why Naruto doesn't seem to be with you!"
Hinata and Tenten's head popped out alongside Ino's blushing madly. "H-Hey! What are you saying, idiot?" Tenten whispered with embarrassment. Hinata just mumbled incomprehensibly.
"Calm down, I want to know why too, you know!" Ino said, her cheeks turning a light shade of pink.
Boxer-sama looked at them feeling somewhat confused. 'Why the heck would they care if I'm here or not?'
Shikamaru shrugged. "We looked around for him, but he didn't seem to be in the village."
"Forget about that moron," Sasuke said coldly. "He wouldn't be a help anyway."
Ino, Tenten, and Hinata thought for a moment, glanced over in Boxer-sama's direction. Boxer-sama straightened his back nervously, wondering what they were thinking.
"…Nah," Ino and Tenten said quietly, Hinata just thining silently. The three girls then went back into the tent, and they seemed to have gone to bed already.
The boys began cramping themselves into the third tent. As their were ten of them, it wasn't going to be easy. Luckily for them, Gaara reminded them he didn't sleep, and left to walk around the place.
"D-Dammit, Chouji, suck your gut in! It's eating my foot!"
"Get your dog out of here, it can sleep outside!"
"Lee, turn your fire off! MY HAIR! YOU DID IT AGAIN, YOU BOWL-CUT CLOWN!"
Boxer-sama looked at the tent, an assortment of limbs kicking out of the doors. Finally, he walked up to them and announced quietly, hoping the girls wouldn't hear him.
"Hey, some of you can stay in my tent."
The boys stopped moving for a moment, then clambered out quietly.
"…You're not gay… Are you?"
Boxer-sama looked at them, his eye twitching slightly. "…No. I'm not gay."
The boys sighed in relief, before remembering that they hated the person in front of them.
"Look, there's no way we'd stay in the same tent as you. Leave us alone."
Boxer-sama sighed guiltily. He knew it was because of him everyone was cramped up, and he didn't want to stand for it.
"… Okay, how about if I'm not in the tent?"
The boys looked at him suspiciously.
"You're saying you'll give us your tent?" Shikamaru asked cautiously. "… After considerable thought, I find that there's about a ninety-nine percent chance that you're tricking us."
"Yeah, well guess what, it's that leftover one percent this time. Yeah or no?"
The boys looked at each other, and realizing they didn't want to have to squeeze into the same tent with people as big as Jiraiya and Chouji.
"…Fine, if you don't intend to stay in your tent, then we'll use it…" Shikamaru struggled with his next words. "… Thanks, I guess…"
Boxer-sama smiled underneath his mask before walking out of the cave.
"Where you going?" Jiraiya asked curiously. Boxer-sama turned around and shrugged.
"I dunno, I'm not tired yet," he lied. After all, he hadn't slept for more than a day. He was exhausted. "I'm just gonna take a walk. Be back in a bit."
After Boxer-sama left, everyone decided that Chouji, Lee, Jiraiya, and Kiba, basically all of the large or potentially dangerous people, should stay in Boxer-sama's tent, leaving Neji, Sasuke, Shino, and Shikamaru in the other. While the tent that the boys were originally given became a whole lot more spacious, Boxer-sama's tent was as cramped as ever.
"This sucks," Kiba muttered, his dog Akamaru curled up above his head. "Why am I classed as one of you weirdos?"
"Uooo! They think we're weird? Neji told me they think we're 'special'!"
"… Lee, you're an idiot."
Jiraiya, on the other hand, was smirking grandly. "Boys, why don't we have a little fun?"
The other boys looked at him uncertainly.
"Jiraiya-sama, you're not… Gay, are you?"
Jiraiya looked at them with an annoyed expression. "…No, I'm not. Now shut up and do what I tell you, or don't you want any action?"
"Here's a little song I wrote…You might want to sing it note for note…"
Boxer-sama wandered about aimlessly, singing aloud casually, making it up along the way.
"Don't worry… Be happy…"
Naruto began undoing his headgear, tucking it under his arm. His eyes slowly returned to their ocean blue color.
"Every night I have some trouble… But when I worry I make it double…Don't worry…"
He sighed deeply.
"Be happy… Wow, I was just making stuff up, but that sounds like a pretty good song… I could call it 'Don't Worry, Be Happy', or something…"
(Disclaimer: Naruto did not write the song 'Don't Worry, Be Happy'. That was Bob Marley... Oh, and I don't own Bob Marley or his songs. It'd be awesome to own Bob Marley... Heh.) (Correction, Bobby Mcferrin. Thanks for that, fallnnconfused)
Naruto shivered brashly. He'd been wearing nothing but boxers for a long time, and the cold was really getting to him. Had he not had the power of a demon, he would probably have hypothermia by now. Or a nasty cold, at the least.
Naruto wiped at his nose with his finger, a drop of wet mucus streaming out of one of his nostrils. He sniffled, sucking it back in.
"Man, I'm cold…"
"Who's there?"
Naruto jumped at the sound of the other voice, and took cover quickly, diving by a nearby tree. He fumbled clumsily, trying to get his headgear back on.
"Come out of hiding, or I'll make you come out." Naruto realized it was Gaara.
"H-Hold on a sec!" Naruto called, hurriedly changing his eyes back to red while doing up his headgear. He hopped out, trying to look casual. "Ah, it's you, Gaara," he said with his fake, deep voice.
"… It's you," Gaara said, staring at him evilly. "Perhaps now would be a good time to kill you."
Boxer-sama gulped nervously. "Why do you want to kill me? Did I do something to you."
Gaara thought for a moment. "…No. However, I still have to kill you."
Boxer-sama sighed. From what he knew, it seemed that being male was a good enough reason for someone to kill him. Unfortunately he didn't know about his effects on the others. However, in Gaara's case, it was of course because people loved Boxer-sama, and not Gaara. And that pissed him off.
"You know, Gaara, I think I can understand why you would want to kill me…"
Before Gaara could do anything other than raise his eyebrows in surprise, Boxer-sama noticed a strange scent that was picked up thanks to his fox-like senses. He hopped up the trees, a bad feeling creeping into him.
"Oh no…"
Boxer-sama stared in horror, as he saw what he smelled was smoke, and that it was coming from his home village, Konoha. Gaara soon hopped up next to him, and saw the smoke as well. The buildings were on fire, the atmosphere similar to when Orochimaru had attacked them.
"That appears to be bad," Gaara stated.
"Of course it's bad!" Boxer-sama yelled. "Come on, we're getting back to the campsite!"
"Oh, Boxer-sama…"
"Wow, you're so amazing, Boxer-sama!"
"I don't know if you're the real Boxer-sama or the Bunshin, but I'm fine with it!"
Boxer-sama came back in camp to notice that his tent was a bit rowdier than when he left it. He threw open the flap, and looked inside to see the three Jounins in his tent, as well as four Boxer-samas.
"…What in the hell is going on in here?" Boxer-sama asked.
The Jounins looked at him, then looked back at the four Boxer-samas inside. The real Boxer-sama looked at one of them cautiously.
"…Jiraiya, is that you?"
The Jounins looked at the fake Boxer-sama, who quickly puffed back into Jiraiya. He then removed the illusion he had put on the others, reverting the Boxer-samas back to Lee, Chouji, and Kiba, who all looked fairly flushed. Judging from the tape wrapped around their mouths and hands, they hadn't been as eager as Jiraiya in the matter.
"OH GOD WE ALMOST SLEPT WITH THESE FOUR!" Shizune and Kurenai cried in horror.
"Now, now, it wouldn't have been that bad…" Anko purred.
"What do you mean, they're our students for crying out loud!" Kurenai said, blushing with embarrassment to find that she had almost scored with one of her students.
"Don't tell me you've never had a student-teacher fantasy?" Anko teased. "Why, once I had this total hunk of a man on my team and we-"
Boxer-sama called their attention, feeling somewhat icky about what they were talking about. "We don't have time for that! We gotta get to Konoha, there's something wrong! I think the Akatsuki have already attacked!"
The Jounins hurriedly tried to gather everyone, pulling the remaining boys and girls from the tents. Boxer-sama however was becoming restless, his feet unconsciously skipping..
"Come on, come on!" he said urgently. "You're all taking too long!"
When everybody had almost gathered, Shizune noticed that the boys were still facing the effects of Lee's 'spirit fire'. "The boys aren't in the best condition to fight," Shizune announced to Boxer-sama. "It would be wrong to have them fight."
"…Damn," Boxer-sama whispered. He knew that their help would've made things much easier. "…Forget it, we'll fight without them. When we get back to Konoha we can give them more treatment."
Boxer-sama hurriedly began forming seals, then bit his thumb, thrusting his blood onto the grounds outside the cave.
"Kuchiyose no Jutsu!"
The large frog Gamabunta appeared in a puff of smoke, looking at the one who summoned him incredulously.
"Who are you? I don't remember signing a contract with you! And what in the world are you wearing?"
Jiraiya made exaggerated signals to Gamabunta, mouthing words to him in panic. 'I'll explain later, just do what he says!'
"Who do you think I am, Jiraiya…" Gamabunta muttered in annoyance, but sensing the urgency coming from Boxer-sama, decided that he may as well obey for now.
Sasuke looked at the frog, shaking in disbelief. 'This frog, I've seen it before! It was during the fight with Gaara. And the one who summoned it was…'
Sasuke didn't have time to think as Jiraiya and the Jounins began picking all the injured boys up and leaping onto the frog, followed by Boxer-sama and the girls. When everybody had gotten on, Gamabunta bounded off for Konoha hurriedly.
Boxer-sama had been careless when he summoned Gamabunta, but his mind had been completely focused on getting to Konoha as soon as possible. Luckily, most of the others had their mind on this too, putting the fact that Boxer-sama had summoned a frog to the back of their minds. However, Sasuke hadn't been like the rest. Sasuke had noticed clearly what Boxer-sama had done.
"Boxer-sama… Could he be…? No way…"
END CHAPTER 10