January 2, 2022
Oregon City, Oregon
Clackamas Prison
Inmate 79918221 woke at 6:30 on the dot, as he had been for the past twenty-four years. Not that he had a choice. The most obnoxious alarm known to man sounded over the loudspeakers, stirring the other inmates from their respective slumbers. He got up out of his cot and stretched before throwing on his delightfully beige shirt.
The rest of his morning routine involved taking a leak, fitting in a shower and shoveling down what counted as breakfast in Clackamas. Then he'd head to the yard for free time.
But that wasn't the way his day started that morning.
A guard walked over and handed him a wireless phone through the bars. "Inmate. You've got a phone call."
He raised an eyebrow. "I do? Is it - "
" - Make it snappy, or you'll miss breakfast." The guard stood watch, facing his back to the inmate.
Hesitantly, inmate 79918221 raised the phone to his ear. "Uuh…hi?"
"I'm sorry I couldn't come by in person. I've got a busy day ahead of me."
He didn't recognize the man's voice. "Kay. Whadaya want?"
"I've called to get your blessing."
His jaw dropped. "Oh. Shit."
"I would appreciate it."
He laughed softly, shaking his head in disbelief. "I didn't know people asked for that sort of thing anymore."
"I'm not."
He grinned. "Well…what does my wife think?"
"That I'm respectful and polite."
"Are you?"
"No."
He laughed harder. Sounds like he takes after his mother. "You think you could hold off until summer? I'll be on probation by then."
"I'll see what I can do." The caller hung up.
Inmate 79918221 stared down at the phone with a wide smile, bewildered and elated. "Well, I'll be goddamned."