A/N: Ha! I'm on time with the update! Okay, first off, Shadow Kitsune67 told me that Inari's village should be the Village of the Mist, so thanks to him and everyone else that told me it was in the country of waves, who include Ryushi-the-dutch-EroSennin, Flametongue, Achalon, and GMan, and I'll be using both names. I hope that's everyone that helped me on that…
And to Rena, I'm not stopping! Hehe, I just take about a week to update… Sorry! D
Too bad I couldn't name it myself though, I was so going to call it Funkytown…
"Where we going for the show?"
"WE'RE GOING TO FUNKYTOWN!"
...Eh, well, thanks for the help everyone, I appreciate it!
After Tsunade dismissed everyone for the day, Naruto sulkily walked off, unsure of what to do. His mind was filled with many problems that pretty much hit him all at once. The problem was causing a strange sensation in his stomach.
GRRRR
… Or maybe Naruto just realized he was really hungry. "To the ramen stand I go!" he announced cheerfully, knowing that one thing that could really cheer him up would be a good bowl of noodly goodness.
He arrived at the stand within minutes, plopping onto the seat excitedly. "Hey, old man! Gimme a bowl of miso ramen, please!"
The old man looked at him grimly. "Sorry to say this, Naruto, but we're sold out for today. My daughter's just left to get supplies from another town, and she won't be back for at least a day."
"W-WHAT?" Naruto exclaimed with shock. "N-No ramen? For a day? A whole day?" Panic washed into Naruto's face, twitching convulsively. The Ichiraku owner nervously tried to calm him.
"C-Calm down, Naruto! She'll be back tomorrow! Why not just settle for some of your instant ones until then?" He knew about Naruto's ramen stash, seeing as how he sold it to him.
"B-But I finished it days ago!" Naruto whined. "I've got no food, no money…"
"You didn't have money?" the old man said, suddenly annoyed. Naruto immediately stopped bawling, looking up at the old man nervously.
"Uh, w-well… I was gonna pay you back…"
"Bah!" the old man hissed. "Honestly, Naruto! If you ever pay off your whole tab, I'd have enough money to turn this stall into a hidden village of its own!"
"Huh? Naruto?"
Naruto spun around to face the owner of the familiar voice. "Tenten? What are you doing here?"
Tenten smiled brightly at Naruto. "Just going to the supermarket to pick up some things for dinner. My parents are going to be out for the night, so I've gotta make food for myself, and I just happen to be a pro at Chinese cuisine!" she said with a thumbs-up.
Naruto grinned with mocked jealousy. "Eh, lucky! I wish I knew how to cook! At least then I could probably have something for dinner tonight… Ah, forget it! I don't need dinner!"
Tenten noticed that she had a brilliant opportunity in front of her to get to know Naruto better. "H-Hey, Naruto, don't say that! Dinner is an important meal! You should have a balanced diet!"
Naruto scratched his head in embarrassment. "I wish I could, but I don't really have any money. Usually that perverted hermit swipes my wallet every chance he gets."
"Well then… How about…" Tenten paused, her mouth pouting nervously. "…Joining me for dinner?"
Naruto looked up at her in surprise. "You're… You're inviting me to have dinner? R-Really? No catches?" Naruto stuttered. In his entire life, he had never actually been invited over by any of his fellow ninjas. Needless to say, Naruto was really shocked.
"Y-Yeah! Well, if you want… I mean you don't have to…" Tenten said, playing with her fingers much like Hinata. She stopped when she noticed Naruto's head exuberantly bobbing up and down.
"You bet I want to! Haha! Awesome!" Naruto yelled with a cheer, jumping up and down excitedly. Tenten grinned happily.
'What a guy…' she thought, giggling quietly.
"You really don't have to…" Tenten urged to the blonde youth.
"N-No! You're making me dinner and having me over, s-so this is the least I can do!" Naruto muttered between strained breaths. "S-Still, I'm surprised that you need so m-much!"
It was quite a sight. They had just walked out of a small supermarket, and Naruto had offered to hold all the bags. Problem is, Naruto didn't realize that Tenten always bought wholesale. Meaning, in large, factory sizes. Naruto looked like a walking ball of groceries, his feet shaking from the weight.
"My mother always said it's more efficient to buy in bulk!" Tenten explained to him. "We save a lot of money, and have enough food for a month!"
"T-This much lasts you a month?" Naruto exclaimed. "You all eat more than I do!"
Tenten just smiled eagerly. "That's because our food tastes so good!"
Naruto grinned back happily. "Then I can't wait to try it!"
Naruto suddenly twitched, sensing something bad. He turned his head covertly down a nearby alley, and saw a group of thugs in an alley, surrounding a girl that looked to be roughly the same age as he was. He urgently looked back at Tenten, who hadn't noticed, then back at the thugs. They were armed, and she didn't have the look of a ninja.
"Hey, Tenten," Naruto whispered to her. She looked at him curiously, and he pointed at the alley with his head. "Someone needs help over there! We gotta do something."
Tenten looked at the thugs, counting them mentally. "Naruto, they outnumber us three to two! And they look dangerous…"
But Naruto had already placed the groceries on the ground, and was already walking down the alley.
"N-Naruto, wait!" she called, trying her best to pick up all the groceries.
"Such a cute girl you are…" one of the thugs said, lightly caressing her face before his hand was slapped away. His two buddies instinctively grabbed her arms, holding her down. The one that was slapped eyed her with an evil grin. "You're lively… I like that."
The girl was wearing a flowery orange full-body dress that covered everything to her feet, with long, wispy sleeves that fell just past her fingertips, and a white sash around her waist, giving her the look of a kind of ornamental doll princess. Her long, light red hair flew freely along her shoulders, and she had a sweet face that betrayed her surprisingly feisty nature. She struggled frantically in the clutches of the two men, but unsurprisingly couldn't overpower them.
"You're mine now, babe!" the thug announced with glee, reaching out to grab her clothes, his hand moments away from her collar, until…
"Hey!"
A kunai came zipping by, barely missing and slitting the man across the top of his hand, a trickle of blood appearing. The man urgently looked off to see a blonde, orange-clad ninja, staring at him intently.
"Who do you think you are, kid?"
"Me?" he said with a confident. "I'm Naruto! The one that's gonna kick your ass!"
While his two cronies secured the mysterious girl, the lead thug advanced at Naruto aggressively, reaching into his pockets to reveal two sleek knives, which he readied in his hands. He charged in menacingly at Naruto, who remained as calm and confident as he always did.
"Take this, brat!" he yelled, diving in to stab at him with both knives. They connected, pummeling deep into Naruto's stomach, and ushering out a pained groan.
Which lasted until he disappeared in a puff of smoke.
"W-What the…?" The thug glanced around urgently, looking for where he was hiding. He spun around in a three-sixty, before relaxing, feeling certain that the boy had run away.
"Think again, idiot." The man's neck stiffened as a kunai slid easily towards his throat, its cold, clean edge minutes away from his vitals. "If you want to live, drop your knives."
Naruto had managed to appear right behind him, steadying his kunai around the thug's neck. The thug hastily did as he was told, his knives clinking to the floor. Naruto slid his kunai away, and the thug bounded away from him in fear, turning around to face him.
"T-This isn't over, you!" he said, trying to sound brave. "Y-You're just lucky today!"
Naruto watched as he disappeared out into the streets before he turned to check on the mysterious girl. The two men binding her were looking at him nervously.
"B-Boss ran away…" one of them said. "W-What do we do?"
"I-I dunno!" he whimpered back. "L-Let's just get outta here!"
The two hastily released the girl, causing her to lose her balance and slip towards Naruto, who quickly caught her. As the two thugs ran off, Naruto looked down at the girl that had recently fallen into his hands. His cheeks felt hot, as he noticed she was quite attractive, filling Naruto with a kind of comfort and familiarity. The girl looked up at him curiously, a sexy mystique about herself.
"Aren't you…?"
Her sentence was halted at the sound of approaching people. Naruto looked up to see Tenten and a few Konoha Police ninja coming towards them. Naruto hurriedly helped the girl to her feet, feeling edgy at the approach of the ninja. Due to his brash nature, he had a natural dislike of them.
"Sorry, I've gotta run! Those guys'll take care of you! See ya!" Naruto gave a friendly grin before jumping off, grabbing Tenten in one hand, awkwardly grabbing the ball of groceries in the street behind her with the other, and darting away hastily. The girl looked out with a thin smile as the Police ninja approached her.
"Hm… What an interesting predicament, young one…"
"D-Do I do it like this, Tenten?"
"Y-Yeah… J-Just a little slower now…"
"H-How's this?"
"Mm, perfect! Now just twist your fingers around a bit…"
"Like this?"
"T-That's it, oh, you're doing so well, it's like you know exactly how I want you to do it!"
"T-Tenten, could you uh… Let me watch you do it a bit? I've never seen someone do it before… So…"
"Sure thing… Like this…"
And so Naruto handed the cooking chopsticks to Tenten, who proceeded to demonstrate to Naruto how to mix the egg noodles into the broth. "See, you twist your fingers like this…"
"Ah, I see now!"
After the two finally finished their weird cooking lesson, they sat down at Tenten's dinner table, which was only occupied by the two of them. Tenten set down the plates of many traditional Chinese foods, surprising Naruto to no end, as well as stimulating his taste buds. From meat buns to beef with snowpeas, Tenten had the ability to make pretty much everything. At least, that's how Naruto saw it.
"W-Wow!" Naruto exclaimed, drooling excessively. "I've never had so much food in front of me for a long time! Is it really okay for me to be eating this?"
"Of course it is, silly! I made a lot anyway, and I couldn't possibly finish this on my own!" Tenten of course had gotten carried away, too excited to be spending time with Naruto. "Besides, you're going to need energy for tomorrow, when we'll have to start rehearsing."
Naruto's lips pursed for a second before he smiled back at her. "Yeah, you're right! Itadakimasu!"
Naruto proceeded to eat heartily, downing plate after plate in front of a bewildered Tenten, who had barely started on her plate as Naruto finished his third.
Within minutes, the two had cleaned off every plate. Or more accurately, Naruto had gobbled down every plate but Tenten's, which had a few noodles sitting on it. Naruto eyed them tantalizingly. "Do you mind?" he asked, his chopsticks moments away from it.
"Go for it," Tenten obliged, watching Naruto pick them up and slurp them down. She looked down at her plate again, then blushed. 'I bit half of that noodle… So is this… An indirect kiss?"
While she sat there debating whether that was an indirect kiss or not, Naruto was already standing at Tenten's doorway.
"Thanks for the meal, Tenten!" he said with a grateful smile. "I've never had such amazing food in a long time! Maybe someday you'll cook for me again?" he added, with playfully hopeful eyes.
Tenten blushed with joy. "Of course! I'd love to cook for you any time!"
Naruto grinned back, before waving goodbye and disappearing out her door. Tenten cheered happily, giggling in triumph. Before she stopped, and realized something.
"Wait a minute… I didn't even get to talk with him!"
Naruto walked up with satisfaction, rubbing his stomach intently. He looked up in thought, squinting and rubbing his chin as he walked.
"Now that I think about it, Tenten didn't really pay any attention to me before… Wonder why she suddenly let me eat with her…"
As Naruto walked home, he passed an open field, and suddenly had the urge to train for awhile. He wondered if becoming Boxer-sama had made him feel he had to be stronger. What he didn't wonder was if becoming Boxer-sama had made him more responsible.
Naruto stood in silent meditation, concentrating on his red chakra. He stood in front of an old tree, his target for his practice.
His eyes shot open suddenly, as his right fist rose, and his hand struck down onto the tree. A thud reverberated around the field. And suddenly another sound reverberated.
"OWWWW!"
Naruto cringed, hopping about madly, clutching his wrist, tears streaming like waterfalls. His hand pulsated red with pain. When he finally calmed down, he felt very much annoyed.
"Huh… Usually doing something like that wouldn't hurt me so much…" He turned to the tree, saw the dent he had created on its side. "… And usually I'd have had the whole tree in pieces…"
Naruto pondered again, squinting. Suddenly his stomach erupted with after-dinner calls of nature. Naruto smirked stupidly. "I guess it was something to do with my stomach! Nothing to worry about!" he assured himself, as he walked on to head home.
And if Naruto were able to look at his own eyes, he would've seen that the whole time they had remained blue.
As Naruto approached his home, he saw, with a mixture of surprise and fear, Gaara standing in front of his apartment, apparently waiting for him. He approached Naruto, apparently intent on telling him something, or perhaps beating the crap out of him, but as he drew closer to Naruto, his eyes shifted uncomfortably, all his past thoughts leaving him for a new one.
"…You're different," Gaara began. "Why?"
Naruto gazed back in confusion, scratching his head with the expression of a monkey. "Different?" He looked himself over curiously. "Uh, well, I just ate. So maybe I look a little fatter? Don't worry, after I've taken a dump I'll be fine."
Gaara eyed him, his face twitching at the word 'dump'. Gaara didn't usually hear such colloquial terms. No surprise, seeing as how he spent his days killing people rather than talking to them.
"'Dump'? What is 'dump'?" he asked curiously. "Its proper meaning does not make sense in your sentence."
"Uh, you know, like crap."
"What is this 'crap'?"
"… L-Like 'ca-ca'."
"… Ca… Ca?"
Naruto looked at Gaara with an exasperated expression. "A 'shit', Gaara. A shit."
" 'Ashit'? What is 'ashit'?"
Naruto felt like crying. A sudden jolt in his stomach didn't help.
"Urgh… I've really gotta get home, Gaara. Can we talk later? I think I'm getting the runs."
"'Runs'? What is-"
Naruto was already dashing up his stairs, not wanting to hear Gaara finish his sentence.
"ORAAAAA"
Plop. Plop. Squirt. Pleeeet.
"ORA-ORA-ORA!"
Chick. Plonk. Whirr.
"GRAAAAAH"BUZZAAZAZAZAZZAAZZAZAZAZZAAAA.
A smelly, brown hour later…"Oh, man…" Naruto mumbled as he left his toilet, leaving the window wide open. "I guess I did eat too much…"
He changed into his boxer shorts once again, his trademark hearts imprinted all over it. He slumped onto his bed, glancing tiredly at the time.
"Past Midnight already… Urgh, I'm gonna be late tomorrow I guess… Tomorrow…" Naruto thought aloud. Tomorrow they would be picking parts for the retelling of his past. Tomorrow he'd be dating one of the girls. Tomorrow Sasuke's plan to kill him would begin. Naruto groaned, stuffing a pillow into his face to block out the streams of moonlight that made it through his blinds.
Tomorrow would be a busy day.
END CHAPTER 13
A/N: I wonder if anyone worked out who the girl is? I hope not… Haha! Someone gave me the idea for this, and I thought I'd go with it. It'll be interesting that's for sure. I'll give him thanks in the next chapter, in case I accidentally reveal the mystery for people who didn't get it. Anyway, until next week, please leave feedback and any ideas! Thanks!