Chapter 16 – Nurse My Boxers!
A/N: Thanks for the reviews everyone! Thanks to Ryushi-the-DutchEroSennin for pointing out my error as well! Since a lot of people seemed to be taken by the idea of a little bit of nursing action, it's gonna happen! Man, this chapter's title is really questionable!
"You failed?" Itachi asked Kisame, his voice unable to show his intense anger. Kisame bowed down in embarassment.
"I seem to have..." Kisame cursed himself for what he was about to say. "... Misjudged Boxer-sama's power. He is almost invincible! Even when I thought I had him, he just got back up again... He is a monster."
Itachi pondered to himself. "Whoever is behind that mask... Must be the mightiest ninja ever born... So mighty, he even beat up a dead man. This calls for dire action..." He turned to Kisame, filled with unexpressed anger. "Kisame, I'm going to need wire, ten kunais, seven swords, shark-feed, and a sack full of shurikens."
"What are you going to do with that?"
"Pay your house a visit."
"Stop trying to kill my family."
Itachi's eyes innocently diverted away. "I only intend to say hello..."
"You're going to say hello to my family with wire, five kunais, seven swords, shark-feed, and a sack full of shurikens? Oh, that's okay th-WAITAMINUTE!"
Naruto's head buzzed like an alarm clock as he slowly regained consciousness. He could barely feel his body, and found it awkward just opening his eyes. Slowly but surely, he managed to open them wide enough to see nothing but white.
"...OH GOD, I'M BLIND!" he yelled in surprise, urging his body to move only to find it nearly impossible to make his muscles listen. The sudden spasm he made from unsuccessful movement did, however, cause Naruto's head to slip off his pillow and hang off his bed, as his face clumsily slammed into the nearby bedside table. He grimaced as he saw the brown desk stationed next to his bed.
"Ow... I guess I'm not blind... Hehe," he chuckled stupidly, using momentum to throw his head back onto the bed. After finally managing to straighten himself out, he tried to recall what had happened. His eyes squinted in thought as he stared upwards at what he now knew was the ceiling.
"Hm... I remember fighting somebody... And then... Damn, I can't remember... Man I feel weak."
"That's not too surprising, considering how much blood you lost." Jiraiya's familiar voice appeared, along with footsteps entering his room. "How do you feel, kid?"
"Hey, Ero-Sennin! What's been happening?" Naruto said with a grin. He tried to look towards Jiraiya, but his muscles still refused to respond, leaving him to grin at the ceiling. He heard Jiraiya pull up a chair and take a seat in front of his bed.
"Well, you've definitely been happening a lot. You look like you were hit by a stampede of bulls. The doctor was patching you up for hours!"
"So I'm at the hospital again, huh? This is becoming pretty regular for me..." Naruto chuckled for a moment, but suddenly stopped and groaned, his chest aching from pressure.
"Calm down, you're wrapped up pretty tight. You broke a few ribs, and with all the treatment and bandaging done to your wounds, you look like a mummy." Jiraiya sighed and became more serious. "I picked you up last night, in the middle of a stream, bleeding like crazy. Sakura told me you were fighting Kisame."
Naruto's eyebrows rose in realization. "That was it... I was fighting Kisame. But there was someone else there, too. It was... Oh, Zabuza."
Naruto heard Jiraiya's chair jerk awkwardly. "Zabuza of the Seven Swordsmen? I heard rumors saying that he died recently."
"He did," Naruto told him, filling Jiraiya in on what had happened before. "Kisame did something to Zabuza's sword, he put this stone-thingy into it, and all of a sudden, Zabuza was just... there... But I don't think it was the real Zabuza, or something..."
"Trust guys like the Akatsuki to have items like that..." Jiraiya said with a sigh.
"You know..." Naruto began, sounding slightly more serious. "Zabuza was a totally crazy, stupid, nonsensical maniac with a sword as big as his ego." He smiled, fighting the urge to laugh. "... He must've hated being made to fight like he did that night... Heh, I bet Haku would've beat me up for letting Kisame drag his precious Zabuza away from him like that!"
Jiraiya looked at him curiously. "What are you getting at, Naruto?"
Naruto closed his eyes gently, frowning quietly. "... It always feels like being Boxer-sama is causing everyone around me a lot of needless trouble. Tsunade has to do all that extra paperwork, the boys have become obsessed with beating a guy they don't even know, forcing Zabuza out of his rest..." Naruto paused for a second. "At first, I thought to myself 'it isn't my fault, it's because of what other people think of me'. But when I think again, it sounds to me like I'm just being selfish. Sure, with cases like Zabuza's, I wasn't the one that actually brought him back, or I wasn't the one that told Tsunade to do more paperwork, or tell the girls to idolize Boxer-sama... But at the base, I'm like, the actual problem, aren't i?"
Jiraiya sighed loudly. "... Even if you were right, what are you going to do about it? Are you going to give up?" Jiraiya challenged him. He expected Naruto to say that he wanted to give up again, and that he didn't want to hurt anyone. He was wrong.
"Hell, no!" Naruto said with a grin. "If I've gone this far, there's no reason for me to half-ass this... Besides, I'm sure everyone would kick my ass even harder if I quit being Boxer-sama before they found out who I am. Besides," Naruto looked down, trying to look at Jiraiya as he grinned confidently. "Nothing is more important to me than becoming the best!"
"Man, you are an idiot."
"What? Shut up, you senile, old fart."
He smiled proudly, feeling Naruto was becoming a stronger man. A knock at the door interrupted his moment, however. Naruto heard the door open, and a handful of footsteps moving into the room. Rolling his eyes about, he saw the girls had gathered around his bed, supervised by Shizune.
"Naruto, are you okay?" they chorused, curiously poking him.
"Ack! Ow! Quit it!" Naruto grumbled, shuffling about uncomfortably.
"What happened, Naruto?" Ino asked worriedly. "Jiraiya's message about you being in hospital only reached us awhile ago."
"As well as that, do you know if Boxer-sama is okay, Naruto?" Shizune asked with surprising urgency, before she backed off suddenly, her face turning red. "I-I mean, he hasn't been checked into the hospital, and if he's hurt, he'll need medical assistance..."
Naruto's eyes dimmed for a second before he replied with a smile. "Don't worry, Boxer-sama is fine! He handled everything!"
Shizune and the girls relaxed noticably, Naruto feeling somewhat annoyed that they still seemed more worried about Boxer-sama. Sakura walked over to Naruto's side so that he could see her.
"Naruto, what happened to you?" she asked worriedly. "When Boxer-sama told me to leave, you were nowhere in sight."
Naruto opened his mouth nervously, trying to think of an excuse. "Ah, well... What happened was... Uhh..."
'Think, Naruto, think!'
"Umm... I was... hit by one of Kisame's attacks! And uh... I got knocked unconscious! Yeah!" Naruto laughed stupidly. He didn't want to mention the appearance of Zabuza to her, fairly certain that she hadn't noticed him before she left.
"You got banged up this bad from only one hit? I see you're as weak as ever."
Naruto grumbled as he recognized Sasuke's voice, along with a handful of feet walking into the room.
"Shut up, Sasuke! I'd like to see you take him on!"
"It's too bad I couldn't, I would've mopped the floor with him."
Before Naruto could reply, he groaned through gritted teeth, pain pulsing in his head. "... My head hurts."
"Excuse me," a doctor had appeared at the doorway, his hands busy with a stack of paperwork. "The patient is not in good health. He needs time to relax."
Everyone apologized and began to file out of the room. Ino turned back for a moment, noticing Naruto's pain-stricken face, his eyes twitching every now and then.
"Hey, doctor," Ino began. "Can't you do anything for his pain?"
The doctor sighed sadly. "Unfortunately, this hospital is highly understaffed. We don't get a lot of money since people don't often become sick enough to come here. We don't have much medicine, nor any nurses at hand to take care of him."
"D-Don't worry about it!" Naruto spoke up, trying not to show the pain in his face. "Give me a few days and I'll be good as new, and ready to get in that play!"
"I highly doubt that you'll be healthy in a few days," the doctor explained. "Why, for you to recover so fast, you'd need someone with incredible healing techniques, like Tsunade. Not to mention a handful of nurses to ease your pains... And where are you going to get something like that?"
"I can do it!" Ino said, volunteering herself suddenly. The girls looked at her in surprise. "... What? You wanna leave Naruto all alone like that? I don't really know any healing techniques, but I can be a nurse!"
Naruto's jaw popped open in shock. "Y-You wanna take care of me? Is that a joke?"
"I'll help too!" Tenten offered, raising her hand. "It sounds like fun!"
"I suppose I should help too," Sakura said, her face blushing lightly. "I mean, it'd be wrong for me to leave a sick person alone."
"M-Me too," Hinata mumbled, glancing at Naruto shyly.
"Hey, is this the room?" a voice said from the outside, as three more people entered.
"G-Gaara? Kankurou? And Temari?" Naruto exclaimed in surprise. "Why are you three here?"
"Well, Gaara and I were worried about you," Kankurou said, before he quickly decided to change his statement from the death-filled glare that Gaara gave him. "Uh, I mean, I was worried about you, after we heard what happened. As for Temari, well..."
"Where is he?" Temari squealed in anticipation. "Boxer-sama's here, right? Where is he? SHOW ME TO MY LOVE!"
Everyone stared at her dumbfoundedly for a moment, the silence being broken by a sudden cough from Naruto. The girls hurriedly crowded around him, other than Temari, who was skipping about the hallway and peeking her head into the rooms while screaming Boxer-sama's name. She wouldn't find him, but that wouldn't stop her from disturbing a hell of a lot of patients.
The doctor stared at the girls with a shocked face, then stared at Naruto, who was giving him the same look.
"Uh... Okay then, that's fine... Nurse uniforms are kept in that cupboard over there, so get changed." The doctor bowed, then left them alone, mumbling to himself. "Damn blonde kid... Lucky with the girls... I'm so jealous..."
"Well then!" Jiraiya said with a grin. "I guess Shizune, the boys and I will leave you little ladies to take care of Naruto!" He glanced over at Naruto and winked coyly. "You girls take good care of him... Hehehe..."
"Yeah, get well, soon, Naruto," Kankurou said with a thumbs-up. "Gaara and I better go find Temari before she gives someone a heart attack... Literally."
Jiraiya and Shizune ushered the boys out, leaving Naruto alone with the girls. They checked the cupboard the doctor had shown them, and began to get changed. Hinata panicked in embarassment.
"W-Why are we changing here? Won't Naruto see?"
"Don't worry, he can't move, remember?" Ino reassured her.
"Y-You're getting changed? Right here?" Naruto suddenly felt really hot, and an insatiable urge to look down at them. He shuddered wondering how much like Jiraiya he had become.
When they finally got changed, they shuffled around Naruto, wearing nurse uniforms complete with the hat decorated with a red cross.
"Mou, the skirts are too short, if you ask me..." Ino complained, playing with her skirt. Naruto's head instantly created the image of Ino's panties visible underneath a short skirt as she bent down to pick something up.
"And it's really tight around the bust..." Sakura said uncomfortably. Naruto suddenly saw Sakura standing next to the bent-over Ino, undoing her buttons to give her chest room to breathe.
"I think they're really cute! Whee!" Tenten exclaimed, whirling about happily. Tenten suddenly popped up along with bent-over Ino and tight-chested Sakura, eagerly modelling her cute uniform.
"M-Mine's a bit big... It keeps slipping off my shoulders... and my skirt's loose too..." Hinata said shyly. Now standing with bent-over Ino, tight-chested Sakura, and cosplay-model Tenten was the timid Hinata, her uniform hanging off one of her shoulders, as she caressed her bare skin shyly.
"D-Don't look, Naruto-kun..."
"Isn't this cute, Naruto?"
"My chest is too big for this, isn't it, Naruto?"
"Can you see my panties, Naruto?"
"Ehehe... God."
After the girls finished admiring their uniforms, they suddenly realized something. They didn't know what nurses actually did.
"Exactly what do nurses do?"
The girls looked at each other for a moment, then back at Naruto. "Well, um... Shouldn't you know, Sakura?" Ino enquired with a mock tone. "I mean, you are trained as a medic, aren't you?"
"Of course I am!" she puffed back. "But I mainly had to learn things like treating wounds and the like out in the field. I'm not sure what else we're supposed to do..."
"Well..." Tenten began, scratching her chin thoughtfully. "I saw a show on television about nurses." (Did they have TV? Well, they do now.)
"So what did they do, then?" Sakura asked.
"Hmm... Well, for one thing, they checked the patient's temperature with their foreheads. I guess we could start there."
The girls blushed lightly, nodding. Their eyes drifted to Naruto's face, and landed on his forehead.
The girls shuffled over towards Naruto's face, causing him to futily struggle to move, his muscles ignoring him. "W-Woah... Y-You're all kinda... C-Close... Don't you think?" he stuttered shyly. The girls were staring at him with slightly flushed faces.
"S-So, we can't just all up and do it at the same time, right?" Ino announced slyly. "I think I should go first."
Before the girls can argue, Ino aggressively placed her face in front of Naruto's, his lip twitching in surprise. He'd never seen Ino as close as this before, and he was noticing her well-kept features more than he felt comfortable with. Ino smirked slyly as she slowly pressed her warm forehead onto Naruto's. The other girls stood around her, biting their lips or playing with their hands jealously.
"Mm... You feel a little bit cold..." Ino lied with an enticing grin. "Perhaps you need some warming up."
"W-W-What kind of warming up?" Naruto muttered, his hormones raging.
Ino's hands were edging towards the sheets until she was suddenly lifted into the air and carried out by the rest of the girls. To Naruto's surprise, even Hinata was pulling her up, her eyes burning scarily.
"That's too much, Ino!" Sakura exclaimed as they tossed her out. This time, Tenten moved towards the bed, causing Sakura and Hinata to be slighlty disappointed that they missed their chance.
"Well, Ino checked your temperature..." Tenten thought out aloud. "I suppose I can check your heart, then! Take off your top, Naruto!"
"M-My top? No way!" Naruto called in embarassment. Tenten smirked evilly at him.
"Eh? But you can't move much... So I guess you can't feel too bad if I take your shirt off for you..."
Tenten climbed over the top of Naruto, her legs wrapping around his hips, latched her hands onto the sides of Naruto's top, and began pulling it off him. Ignoring Naruto's pleas, she worked the shirt off him and tossed it aside. She stared at his built, rugged body shyly, noticing the creases of the bandages that emphasised his build with pink cheeks.
"W-Well, let me check your heart now..."
She bent her head down, placing her head on top his chest. Naruto gasped at the softness of her cheek on his chest, as well as the two soft lumps pressing closely to his...
"S-Something just tapped me on the stomach..." Tenten said in surprise, lifting her head and staring at Naruto's face with a blush.
Suddenly, she found herself in the air, being airlifted by Ino, Sakura, and Hinata.
"T-That's too much!" Hinata exclaimed, her entire face filled with blood as her eyes constantly shot back and forth between Naruto's lower regions and the various objects about the room. They hurriedly tossed her out, leaving Naruto half-naked with dirty thoughts.
'God, this is going to kill me...'
Temari groaned as she scampered about the park with searching eyes. Kankurou and Gaara sat on a bench, sighing in irritation.
"You're not going to find anything, Temari," Kankurou groaned. "It's not like Boxer-sama would just leave his stuff lying around here just because he was fighting here, you know."
"Oh really?" Temari's voice called from the thick shrubbery, the bushes rustling about as she moved through them. "Then what do you call... this?"
Her hand shot out of the bushes, waving about a piece of clothing. "Check it out! This must belong to Boxer-sama!"
Kankurou and Gaara weren't responding to her.
"Hey, come on, boys! I can't see what it is from in here! Tell me what it is!"
They still didn't answer her.
"That's it, you two scumbags, when I get you, I'm gonna beat the..."
As Temari marched towards her brothers with a raised fist, she noticed them staring at the clothing in her hand with open jaws. Even Gaara had a look of surprise, which actually scared Temari. Nervously, she let her eyes approach the clothing.
"These are... Orange pants..."
"Okay, so this is definately one thing we can all do!" the girls said.
"Y-You don't have to do this! Really!" Naruto pleaded, but to no avail.
"Don't worry, Naruto! You haven't been washed the whole time you were asleep, so you're going to become filthy if we don't give you a sponge bath!" Ino announced, the girls all holding buckets of water and a bright yellow sponge. "Hinata, take off his pants, would you?"
"H-H-His pants!" Hinata suddenly returned to her usual nervous self, completely different from the Hinata that had thrown Tenten and Ino about earlier. "B-B-B-B-B-But..."
"Don't worry, we'll keep his underwear on!" Tenten exclaimed. "Just do it!"
Hinata's hands slowly and shakily pulled down the rest of Naruto's blanket. Her hands latched onto the side of his pants. She gulped, breathing heavily. Slowly, she pulled them down, trying not to look at Naruto too much.
"H-Hey, Hinata!" the girls squealed with red faces. "Stop making it seem like you're going to do something else!"
"S-Something else?" Naruto asked with fear. "L-Like what?"
"Y-You know, idiot!" Sakura screamed at him with embarassment. "She's acting like she's going to... Well..."
"She's keeping her face so close to your... While she pulls down your pants and..."
The girls stopped talking, steam coming out of their ears as their faces burned up. "J-Just hurry up and get those pants off, Hinata!"
When Hinata finally managed to get them off, and finally managed to stop unconsciously moving her face towards Naruto in such a questionable way, the girls dipped their sponges into their buckets.
"Okay, I'll take this arm, Hinata will take the other, and you two take his legs, okay?" Sakura said, and they all nodded in affirmation. Naruto was still unable to see them clearly, but he could definately feel it.
Since Naruto was practically paralyzed, the girls had to lift up his limbs to wash them all out. All Naruto could feel were sponges lightly washing his skin, and soft hands rubbing him down. Naruto was truly overwhelmed.
"O-Oh man... F-Feels really good..."
"A-Are you enjoying it, Naruto?" Tenten asked shyly, smiling.
"Y-Yeah... You're all making me feel real good..."
Soon, Sakura and Hinata had made it towards his chest, and Tenten and Ino were inching up his thighs, washing thouroughly and softly. Soon, there was only a few unwashed places on Naruto, and the girls stared at it with hot faces.
"W-Well... I don't like leaving jobs half done..." Ino said with a sly look.
"B-But still... That's his... That's too much... I still want to get married one day!" Sakura said with a bright face.
"W-What are you girls talking about? Get married?" Naruto had no idea what they were talking about.
"Aha! What if we just blindfold ourselves!" Tenten announced. "That way, we can finish cleaning him properly, and still get married!"
"Again, get married? What are you all talking about?"
They didn't answer him, already beginning to enthusiastically blindfold themselves, even Hinata reluctantly put on a blindfold.
"G-Girls? What are you all trying to do?"
"Okay, let's just dip our sponges and go for it!"
"Girls?"
"But we can't see!"
"Hello?"
"Don't worry! Just try and get the right area!"
"G-Girls?"
"Okay! One, two, THREE!"
The girls launched themselves at Naruto, sponges held out, crashing onto him in a heap. They scrubbed their sponges and hands about Naruto, trying to clean the last spots. None of them were actually reaching the spot, but they sure were going over Naruto like it was a game of Twister. The girls squirmed about, moaning softly in defeat as they couldn't find it.
"O-OH MY GOD."
Naruto felt their bodies sliding all over his wet, soapy body, as they crawled all over the bed and his body trying to clean him up completely. Squishy female body parts were rubbing themselves maliciously over his body, driving Naruto crazy until he could no longer take it.
"ARGGGH!"
Naruto's nose suddenly burst, blood seeping out and down his face. The girls didn't notice, too busy trying to clean him still.
"Hey, Naruto, I was wondering if-"
Jiraiya had thrown the door open, with Shizune and the rest of the boys behind him. Gaara, Kankurou, and Temari had also just arrived. Everyone glanced over Jiraiya's body, and everyone felt their jaws hit the ground.
In front of them was Naruto, his face covered in blood, his body covered in bandages and quivering. And on top of him, four blindfolded girls, eagerly washing him with sponges and their bodies, moaning softly.
Jiraiya's face suddenly swelled up, tears forming in his eyes.
"YOU MAKE ME PROUD, NARUTO! UOOOOOOO!"
The boys also had tears in their eyes, but for different reasons entirely.
"SCREW YOU NARUTO! WE'RE GOING TO KILL YOU ALONG WITH THAT BOXER-SAMA, DAMMIT! WHY DO YOU GET THE GIRLS TOO?"
Temari, however, wasn't reacting at all, instead staring at Naruto intently, hiding something behind her back.
Something orange.
Stuck on the front-page of newspapers around the world:
"BOXER-SAMA DOES THE IMPOSSIBLE: ONLY NINJA EVER TO DEFEAT A DEAD NINJA – BOXER-SAMA DEFIES LOGIC!"
END CHAPTER 16
A/N: Oh God, it's getting hard keeping this 'relatively' clean... Oh well. It could've been worse – the girls could've ended up naked for no reason whatsoever. Anyway, I know this took long, but work is still bogging me. I'm surprised I even had time to finish this chapter! Anyway, I'll try to get the next one on its way soon, so keep an eye out!