Something More
Rating: T (warning: adult themes, sexual references and coarse language)
Summary: For as long as they worked at NCIS, it was always going to be a dangerous liason. It was love, but they had been blind not to see it earlier.
Author's Notes: This idea came to me when I was in a criminology lecture and then I spent a whole day writing it instead of studying! I really hope you enjoy it though!
It was a dangerous liaison that, truth be told, should never have happened in the first place, but neither of them made any effort in stopping it. The intensity of what was between them was just so strong that they just didn't have the strength or the energy to fight it. The hardest thing to deal with was that it had the potential to destroy everything they'd ever worked for. They both agreed, however, that it would be the loss of the other that would destroy them more. Admittedly, it would kill them.
Such was the power of their affair. Or relationship. Or fling. They weren't quite sure of how to define what it was exactly that they were involved in. It wasn't a fling. Flings are typically one or two-night stands, something that nowhere near as long as their twelve month "thing." You couldn't call it an affair, either. An "office affair", maybe, but definitely not an affair. Neither of them was married or seeing someone else, but somehow, it seemed to fall short of a "relationship." They never went out on dates or did anything that a typical couple would do. They only thing they did together was sleep together. And frequently so.
It was the sex that started it, too. It's just that neither of them will ever admit it. Sure, there had always been a strong sexual tension between them at work, but they never thought it would land them in bed together. They were both drunk one night, the aftermath of a difficult case when somehow, they fell into bed with each other. They woke up the following morning with foggy memories of the night before, but they both knew what had happened. Whilst the night may be an alcohol-induced memory, they both clearly remember crying out in ecstasy as they climaxed together. That moment, and the after-glow of their orgasm, would be something they would never be likely to forget. It was that moment that has kept them coming back for more. It was that moment that has kept them coming back every night for the past year.
They knew it was forbidden. Relationships between colleagues always were. They knew it was against the rules, but they didn't care. They should have regretted it and never gone back for more, but they couldn't. Neither of them had the power to deny themselves of such an amazing thing. The second night, they'd met in a hotel room. It was less personal. Less intimate. Less like the "something more" that they both wanted it to be. The third night, they fell into bed with each other at his house. They think it was then that they crossed the line from it being what it was to "that something more."
Her nails scratched down his back as she arched up into him and she moaned in pleasure as their bodies collided. Her legs were wrapped tightly around his waist and his hands held her hips firmly as they moved about together on his bed. When they'd finished, they stared longingly into each other's eyes, attempting to voice the things they knew they never needed to say. The fourth, fifth and sixth night were exactly like the third. The seventh night, however, was when they slept together at her house. Whilst she had admitted long ago that women prefer their own beds, she'd always been hesitant to sleep with someone in her bed, that was, until he came along. She doesn't know why she had always been so hung up about it in the past because that seventh night had been the most memorable night in their week-long "thing."
For the next month, they alternated between his place and her place or wherever they were in regards to work. If it was a hotel room, they slept together in a hotel room. If it was the back of the NCIS-issue vehicle, then they had sex in the back of a work vehicle. They both had to admit that neither of them had had sex on a Navy ship before, that was until then. They'd been out on the USS Foster working a drugs case for three nights that month, and every night, they'd still managed to keep their little game going. That was, if you could call it a game. They thought they would have been caught out whilst they were on the ship, but miraculously they didn't, and that just fuelled the passion that they were harboring.
When she first started working for NCIS, she vowed never to get involved with a co-worker again. Not after how it ended the last time. But she just couldn't help herself. She liked the dangerousness of their liaison. The fact that it was risky hadn't escaped either of them, so when they ended up lying naked next to each other, tangled in his soft sheets after that first night together, they made a silent promise never to mention it to anyone. It was their secret. It was always going to be their secret.
By the sixth month of doing whatever it was that they were doing, they'd fallen into a comfortable routine and their colleagues were none the wiser. He'd penetrated her life the same way she had penetrated his and whilst neither of them will ever admit it, it was what they both needed. They both needed someone with whom they could go to bed with every night knowing they'd still be there in the morning. It was then that this started to border on being classified as the "something more" that they'd both been craving. At home, their touches became more affectionate and their words came out softer. She started keeping personal things at his house and he started leaving things at her house.
At work, they continued on as if they weren't sleeping together, but if any of their colleagues actually looked hard enough, they would have seen the signs. The writing was on the wall if one chose to read it. It was just in a really small font. Whilst they never displayed any signs of affection at work, there were still the lingering glances, a touch or two that lasted for a second longer than it should have and the general concern for the other's welfare. They couldn't afford to lose each other.
They were encroaching on the twelve-month mark now, and both of them secretly want to celebrate the milestone, but both lacked the courage to bring the topic up in conversation. Not that they conversed much anyway, but still, the thought was lingering. When they moved about the kitchen in the mornings, they never talked. They simply went about their morning business like they always had before this started. Occasionally they said the odd word here and there, but nothing more than that. If they started talking more, they both feared it would turn into that something more that it should never be.
She wants it to be more. She wants it to be so much more and secretly, so does he, but they can't admit it to each other. Yet neither of them have the vocabulary to explain why. It's just how it is. Its how they've managed to survive the past year. They've never gone out to dinner together or sat through a movie together. They know as soon as they start doing that, they will have crossed that next line they're both scared of. Neither of them has ever been fond of commitment, but somehow, they're more committed to each other than they have ever been with anyone else. Without ever acknowledging it, they're exclusive.
When day three hundred and sixty five was only twenty four hours away, neither of them had ever been more scared of anything in their lives. He doesn't know it, but she's got something special planned for him. The funny thing is, he's got something special planned for her.
When she'd opened her door to him that night, she'd faltered momentarily, taken aback by how different he appeared. He was lost for words when his eyes rested on her. There seemed to be something different in the air surrounding them. They didn't go straight to the bedroom like they usually did, either. They'd stood in her hallway, frozen.
For the first time in their 'relationship', she was hesitant when she reached out a hand to run along his strong jaw line when he finally closed the door behind him. His hands were trembling when he placed them on her hips to draw her body flush up against his. He knew that when they wake up naked next to each other in the morning, things will be different. He can't explain why, but he knows they will be. She's afraid to admit it too.
As their lips finally crashed hungrily against each other, a thousand thoughts were running through both their minds. Their kisses seemed more passionate now than what they were twelve months ago. They seemed to be filled with more emotion now than they cared to admit. Especially since it was an emotion neither of them wanted to recognize. There has always been some undercurrent of deeper feelings running between them; that was how they managed to sleep together that very first night. Neither of them expected to end up where they were right now. The fact they were still together three hundred and sixty five days later didn't make it any easier to define.
They pulled away from each other gasping for breath. His hands were still firmly on her hips and hers were now looped around his neck and they stayed staring deep into each other's eyes, unable to look or pull away. His thumbs moved in small circles on her hips as they stood together. He closed the scant gap between their lips and kissed her again, bringing his hands up to cup her face as their kiss deepened. It was that kiss that was probably the turning point for both of them. It was that kiss on the three hundred and sixty fifth night that changed everything for them.
On that first night, their kisses were full on an energy they didn't know existed. Now a year later, their kisses were still full of that same energy, it was just channeled into something more. Her hands tangled in his hair the same way they did when he moved inside her, and his hands slid down to rest comfortably on the small of her back. She slowly pulled back and turned from him, throwing a lingering glance over her shoulder, beckoning him to follow her.
He only hesitated slightly before following her down the hallway. By the time he caught up with her, she was standing nervously in the middle of her bedroom, fidgeting with the hem on her short, revealing, figure-hugging black dress. The shock was visible on his face when he saw what she had done. The room was completely filled with candles. Candles covered every possible surface of her room and he thought it was oddly the most appropriate thing for what they were "celebrating".
The minute they made eye contact with each other when she finally summoned up enough courage to lift her eyes and look at him, was when they knew they'd crossed that line. The final line that defined what it was they were doing. What it was that they were feeling. The moment he took a step forward into her room confirmed it. They were now doing that "something more" they'd been denying themselves of for the past twelve months. Neither of them could really believe it had been twelve months since they slept together in an alcohol-fuelled encounter.
He strode forward confidently and captured her lips with his own. This time, there was no hesitation from either of them. They'd crossed that final barrier and they both knew it. Now there was just the matter of dealing with it. That topic was going to have to wait until morning because right now, they both had better things to do. Her hands came up to tangle in his hair again as he found the zipper on the back of her dress.
It wasn't just sex anymore. They both know that after tonight, they'll never go back to how they were when it first started, or even before that when they weren't anything. They can never go back to how they were when she first started working at NCIS. Neither of them were to keen on the idea, anyway. With her dress now in a pool around their now bare feet, and his shirt lying somewhat haphazardly on the floor, they moved over to the bed without tearing their lips apart. There would be time for breathing later. Right now, they had better things to be doing.
Kate felt the bed behind her and sat back on it slowly, pulling him with her. She pushed herself backwards towards the pillows and he went with her. He braced himself over her as she lay on her back. Her hands moved to his belt, undoing it quickly and discarding it, letting it fall to the floor with a light 'thud'. As their tongues continued to duel and dance around each other, she'd undone his pants and began pushing them down his legs. They rolled together; allowing him to pull his pants all the way off and let them fall off the bed.
Scant clothing was what separated them now, but neither of them seemed to be in a hurry to remove it. They rolled again so that he was back on top, kneeling above her. He ground his hips into hers and she arched her back in anticipation of what was to come. He moaned into her mouth and ground into her again. He was going to make this last all night. He wanted her to remember it forever.
It was well into the early hours of the morning when they finally fell asleep, entwined with each other, tangled in the soft sheets with candles burning out around them. The sun began peaking through the curtains only two hours after they fell asleep but they were both so exhausted, the emergence of such a bright light failed to wake them. He simply pulled her body closer to his and nuzzled her neck, the soft scent of her perfume still lingering on her skin.
He managed another hour of sleep before stirring. He looked over at the alarm clock sitting on her bedside table and acknowledged the fact that they both had to be at work in two hours. He groaned softly in frustration, but took this opportunity to prop himself up on his elbow and watch her sleeping. It was the first time he'd ever taken the time to do so in the whole time they'd been together. Before the previous evening, it would have been one of "those things" that would have made it "something more", but now that they had that "something more" it was one of "those things" he would be able to indulge himself in.
He took note of how her lips were curved up into a slight smile and how her hair pooled around her head on the pillow. He noted how perfectly her body fit against his as they lay spooned together. He was now kicking himself for not having noticed these things sooner. She seemed to sense him looking at her and she woke up from her slumber. Slowly, and almost hesitantly, she rolled over to face him. Her colleague. Her lover. Her partner. He seemed to take on a new name now. She propped herself up onto her elbow and stared intently into his eyes.
"Hi," he whispered to her as the smile on her face grew to light up the entire room. As soon as the word escaped his lips, he reached out to cup her face in his hand and run his thumb across the smooth skin of her cheek. It was the first word that had ever been spoken between them in bed and there was no hiding the emotion that was there in his voice.
"Hi," she merely whispered back to him. Slowly, she leaned in and lightly pressed her lips to his before pulling back quickly. She linked their free hands together and entwined their fingers. "Thank you for last night," she whispered so softly that if he hadn't been lying mere centimeters from her, he wouldn't have heard it.
He gave her hand a tight squeeze as his heart began to thump wildly in his chest. He knew this was the moment he'd been waiting for and if he didn't say it now, he wasn't sure if he'd ever say it. He stared directly into her eyes and spoke in the softest voice imaginable: "I love you, Kate."
Her heart skipped a beat when she heard those words escape his lips. As much as she wanted to hear those words from him, she never thought he'd have the courage to say them. Now that he had uttered them, there was no turning back. She unlinked their hands and reached out to caress his cheek. "I love you, too," she'd whispered back to him, finally breaking the minute-long silence that had descended upon them.
They grinned broadly at each other and knew that this was the "something more" they'd been slowly moving towards for the past twelve months. This was the "something more" that they didn't have the courage to ever admit they wanted, but it was out in the open now. It was love and they had been blind not to see it earlier.
Slowly they moved closer to each other and pressed their lips together in a soft, emotion-charged kiss. He rolled onto his back and pulled her naked form on top of him as the kiss intensified. Whilst they didn't voice the realization, they both recognized that this was the first time that they had ever been intimate with each other in the morning. Such a display of intimacy in the morning would have been something akin to what a couple would do, and they weren't a couple then. But they were a couple now.
They knew the night before that things were going to be different in the morning, but neither of them could explain why or how. It was like day three hundred and sixty five seemed put a whole new perspective on what it was that they were doing. They had somehow evolved into something else. Evolved into something more. They had gone from needing each other for sex to simply needing to be with each other. It was plain and simple.
It was still a dangerous liaison. For as long as they worked at NCIS, it always would be, but it was worth the risk. It will always be worth the risk. Having that "something more" was what was more important. They lived life on the edge with a nine millimeter sig sauer strapped to their hip every day, but it was worth it. The risk was worth it.
Hope you enjoyed it. Please let me know what you thought.