Chapter IX:
"Conversation"
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The night was warm and inviting, the stars above shined with renew force, the smell of rain still lingered the air, and the noise of children had been replaced for the silent contempt of couples, all in all, it was a great night to take a stroll, not that Kakashi minded, he knew he would have done it anyway, it was part of his routine, part of his every day life. He raised his head to take a better look at the sky, stopping his walk momentarily, perhaps wondering how life had brought him there.
It was a surprise when returning his gaze at front, the lights of a familiar home touched his eyes. How could he have not noticed how close he was already?
Bravely taking the first step he went forward, ready to confront whatever fate had landed him there, briefly realizing the importance that this meeting held. Because this time it wasn't like any other, this time he would not sit under some window waiting for a shadow to appear, tonight he had been invited, tonight he would enter a house he had visited so many times before in his mind, he would finally confirm in the realm of reality what his imagination along with his senses had drawn so long ago.
The shadows of the leafless tree brought back memories from that morning, the way it had all started.
It was bright in the morning, it couldn't had been noon yet, the sun wasn't that high; Kakashi had just left his students doing some censured pity D censured rank mission, as Naruto had said. He didn't blame him, after all, all he had done was informed them that after waiting for hours for him to appear, they would have to spend the next four cleaning leafs at some rich woman's garden.
But he had spent the first four hours quiet rightly he supposed, he was coming back to the routine he had created for himself and had appreciated so much before; he decided to ignore the "porch accident" as he had begun to call it, just as he had done it with the kiss one, as if it hadn't happened at all, Iruka was only his, there was nothing that could taint him.
So here he was now, back to that beloved spot on the academy tree, watching carefully Iruka's every move, happy to be alive for once, imagining the smell of oranges he would be surrounded with today.
The noise of loud children woke him up from his dreamy state, it was lunch time, he would get a hold of Iruka's face now, and so he waited, watching fervently at the window, hoping for his image to appear…
When not even a shadow graced him, he began to worry, this wasn't a test day, Iruka couldn't be at the teachers room, but if he wasn't there, then where?
After some painful minutes of waiting, he decided he would enter the academy; he needed to know what had happened to Iruka.
He was still on his branch when he noticed a presence, he turned his head quickly to where he felt it, surprised to find his chuunin sitting at the tree he was on, seemingly about to eat… perhaps Iruka hadn't seen him, but then he noticed the way Iruka held the orange, staring at it, not really interested in doing anything else.
-So, are you going to come down or should I go up there- Iruka's head finally turned to look at him.
Kakashi could feel his own heart beat racing, could he had been discovered?
-How long have you been there? – He dared to ask, afraid of what the man might say
-Long enough…-
Kakashi's head turned up to look at the sky, sighing.
-So you finally found out uh? – He turned to look at the man, smiling –it took you a while-
They both stayed silent for the next few seconds, neither of them knowing what to say next, what was proper…
Iruka seemed about to say something but was cut off by the ring bell marking the end of lunch time, so he raised slowly and clean himself up.
Without even turning to look at him or sparing him a glance he waved goodbye, his last words floating in the air.
-I'll be waiting for you tonight… we need to talk-
…
And so, here he was, standing once more at the edge of his home, perhaps for the last time.
He walked slowly to the door and raised his hand in an attempt to give the first knock, hesitating on doing it, a fierce need of running away overwhelming him, he sighed and almost laugh at his sudden fear; he composed himself and firmly knocked on the door twice.
At first he felt the silent, and thought of running once more, but then some light steps could be heard in what he believed was the hallway and he sighed resigned.
The door opened and showed an emotionless chuunin, -bad sign- Kakashi thought
Time became still as Kakashi observed his features; maybe looking for some sign, for hope.
When he found none, he sighed.
-So… are you going to let me in? – He faked a smile
Iruka probably didn't noticed how long he had been standing there, completely oblivious at his lack of courtesy, so when he did, he became flustered.
-I… I'm sorry- he quickly moved away of the entrance giving him space to pass.
-Thanks- Kakashi offered yet another smile
They moved into the house and Iruka showed him to the living room, both of them taking seats in opposite sides, falling into silence once more, staring at each other.
Iruka was the one who broke the eye contact first, somehow ashamed of it, cursing his blushing habits he offered Kakashi something to drink.
Something light up in Kakashi's mind, maybe this wouldn't be that bad after all.
-I'll take camomile if you have some- he knew it was the chuunins favourite beverage and that he stored it by tons.
He must have said something wrong though, because the change on Iruka's face was immediately noticeable, he looked beyond angry.
-I have none- he retorted harshly, but after watching the jounin's shocked expression, he seemed to reconsider –I'm sorry, I'll see what I can do- and so he was off to the kitchen, leaving a still shocked Kakashi to ponder.
What could he have possibly said so wrong that infuriated the chuunin like that?
Kakashi was immerse in his own thoughts, oblivious to the world around him, rapidly going on about every movement he had done from the moment he had set foot into the house, incapable of finding the reason of Iruka's reaction.
All of his thoughts were quickly shut down when he realised Iruka was still standing on the door sill, and Kakashi wondered if he had gone into the kitchen at all, since he was with his back against him and he didn't seem to hold any cup between his hands.
-This probably was a mistake- Kakashi heard the words whispered and felt Iruka's breathing go faster.
Without giving Kakashi time to react, Iruka turned around and went to the front door, opening it widely.
-This is a mistake- he said louder –You should go-
Kakashi was still too stunned to even pronounce a word, he kept sitting there, as if he hadn't heard anything, opening his mouth from time to time to try and say something and finally deciding to stand up, feeling the rage of the past days coming back to him.
-Genma doesn't love you- he met Iruka's gaze as he said it, and noticed how the teacher's fists were clenching furiously.
He knew from the moment he said it that he shouldn't have, he knew he was hurting him, but the words had escaped his mouth without him even realising it.
Through Iruka's face, Kakashi could noticed, passed shock and anger, finally staying still in a laconic grin.
-So is that it? – Iruka asked seemingly amused, although Kakashi knew better –You don't think Genma can love me uh? – He looked at the floor and then back at the jounin, another fake smile plastered across his face –Is this what we're going to talk about then?–
-Iruka I…- Kakashi tried to amend it, but was cut off quickly by the other
-I was just wondering, I mean- Iruka looked directly at him –I thought we were going to talk about how I don't love you-
Kakashi felt he had been stabbed to the floor, too shocked from the chuunin's words to say anything.
He had expected the chuunin to be angry, to shoot at him incompressible insults, to throw him out of his house, to swear eternal hatred… he hadn't expected this though; he hadn't expected to have his heart broken.
And so, he picked up the pieces and without even noticing he took the first step, out of Iruka's home and out of Iruka's life.
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Author's note: well here I am again! So sorry I took so long updating this! I don't have a valid excuse I guess, I was just being my lazy self, although I must admit I tried to get myself to write in the past month, but I got cut up on the vice that is Indian movies, and believe me, they are addictive! And furthermore, they made me so sad that I couldn't even think of the story… honestly! Why is it that I watch Indian movies again? They all make me cry! Well except the funny ones I guess…
On the crying note, I guess I wasn't feeling very merciful when I wrote this… so… sorry? Hehe I'm evil.
Poor Kakashi, will he forget about Iruka so easily?
I have something special prepared for next chapter (it's on the makings already!), you know, being the 10th chapter and all.
Oh, also! I have some pics that I would like to share with you O.O haha, hope you like them, the link is in my profile, go and take a look.(homepage link) perhaps I'll even draw something from this fic... who knows.
By the way, I couldn't read the previous chapters so if it seems a little off... sorry