Chapter 20 – Dirty Boxers!

A/N: Sorry this took awhile again, but yeah you get the idea. Try to bear with the update rate, I'm doing my best. Anyway, hope you enjoy the chapter! This chapter is a little catch-up for Tsunade, Kurenai, Shizune, and Anko!

After cleaning up the hall, the group said their goodbyes to the villagers and returned to Konoha with enough money to bring the village back on their feet. After arrival, Shizune and Jiraiya had dismissed them all. The boys left to plot evil, devious schemes, and the girls left to plan out their twenty-four hour date with Boxer-sama. As for Naruto, he was told to get home and get some rest.

It was 10:00 P.M, and Naruto was still awake, fidgeting restlessly on his bed. Finally giving up on sleep, he sat up at the edge of the bed, resting his head on his hands.

"A date, huh…"

Naruto's eyes squinted foxily as he thought to himself. He didn't really hate any of the girls, yet wasn't certain if he had any specific feelings for one of them. He liked Ino's confident personality, Tenten's friendliness, Hinata's humble nature, and Sakura's determination. Of course recently, he began to notice that they were also quite attractive in their own ways, yet he wasn't sure whether or not it was love.

Naruto cautiously tapped his bandaged arm, biting his lip softly as he felt a surge of pain. "Hasn't healed yet, huh." Getting up for a stretch, Naruto decided that he would try going for a walk to relax. Throwing on his orange suit over his heart-patterned boxers, he stepped out of his door and walked into the quiet streets.

Without even noticing, Naruto had wandered around for almost an hour. And rather than feeling relaxed, he found himself becoming much more tense.

In an hour's time, he was expected to meet with the girls.

In an hour's time, he was going to be sabotaged by the boys.

In an hour's time, Jiraiya was expecting him to use that whip.

Mentally crossing off the last part, Naruto chose to worry more about the first two. "The problem with the girls is that I've never actually gone on a date before, so I don't actually know what they want from me… And as for the boys…" Naruto scratched his chin as he walked. He knew that if Shikamaru were the one plotting against him that he'd have to be prepared for the worst.

"Naruto?"

Naruto suddenly snapped back to reality, and found Tsunade standing before him. "What are you doing out here, Tsunade?" Naruto asked casually with a grin.

'W-What a coincidence, running into Naruto at this time of night!' Tsunade thought with a smile. "I was just taking a walk to relax, Naruto," she replied.

"Wow, same here!" he said as he scratched his head. "I couldn't sleep, so I thought a walk would help."

"Is something bothering you?"

"Well…" Naruto looked down, playing with his fingers. "… Lately, I've been wondering… Tsunade-sama," Naruto asked, with surprising manners. "… How do you properly have a date?"

Tsunade looked at Naruto with a surprised face. 'Is he asking me out?' Tsunade had misunderstood, and was blushing madly. "W-Well, Naruto, the best way to learn how to have a date is to go on one! A real one!"

"A real date? But who'd want to practice with me? And I kinda… Have to practice, like, right now."

'How cute! He's trying to make an excuse because he's too shy! I better take the lead!'

"How about practicing with me, then, Naruto?" Tsunade said, trying to sound casual. Naruto's eyes lit up.

"Really? Awesome! Thanks, Tsunade!" he yelled happily. 'All right!' he thought with relief. 'This way, I can be ready for the girls when I'm Boxer-sama!'

After being led to one of the classier restaurants in Konoha, Naruto sat in a small booth, with Tsunade on the other end. A waiter delicately placed two menus in front of them as Tsunade began instructing him on how to date.

"Well Naruto, when you're on a date, it's important to realize that the night is not just for your enjoyment, but for your date's as well. It's up to you to make sure she enjoys the date, and she'll make sure that you enjoy it."

Naruto rubbed his chin as he thought. "Okay… So I make you enjoy, and you make me enjoy…" Naruto looked up at Tsunade with serious eyes, causing her to flinch in surprise. "Tsunade-sama… What can I do to make you enjoy yourself?"

Tsunade's face grew bright red as an endless stream of ideas ran through her head, with the majority being dirty and naughty. She hurriedly shook her head and tried to put away her animal desires.

"W-Well, Naruto! To make a girl happy, you have to ask her about herself, and communicate with her!"

"Communicate, huh? Okay…" Naruto cleared his throat. "So, Tsunade-sama… Uh… Eaten anything good lately?"

Tsunade stared at Naruto in a moment of silence. Naruto could've sworn the entire restaurant went quiet, and felt eyes staring at him with a look that could only be described as 'Huh?'

"Naruto… Er, perhaps you could ask a more… open question. Like what I've been doing lately, or what interests me."

"Oh, okay…" Naruto scratched his head. "Well then, uh… What have you been eating lately, or what eats you?"

The silence suddenly returned, except the stares had changed from 'Huh?' to 'What in the hell are you saying?'

"… You're hungry, aren't you, Naruto?"

"… Yeah."

Tsunade suddenly had a very dirty idea. And this time, she couldn't help herself.

"Say, Naruto…" she said with a red face. "If you really want to make a girl happy, whenever you're hungry, you've got to move your face really close to theirs, and tell them with a husky, slow voice. And you've got to breathe on their necks when you do it, and look up at their eyes with a serious face and an edgy smile!"

Naruto took in what she said, and for a moment, Tsunade thought he was thinking of her as a pervert. As she was about to take it back, she was interrupted, as Naruto suddenly stood up and leaned over the table.

"Hey,Tsunade-sama…" he began with a very husky voice. "I'm feeling really, really… Hungry." He put strong emphasis on the word 'hungry'.

Tsunade felt like she was melting to the floor in passion and lust.

"Is that what you meant, Tsunade-sama? Tsunade-sama? Old lady? Hello?" Naruto looked curiously at Tsunade, who had a dumbstruck smile and was drooping onto her seat.

"There you are, Tsunade-sama!"

It was Kurenai's voice. She walked over to their booth, politely bowing to Tsunade, who was still out of it.

"Tsunade-sama, you're needed back at your office."

Tsunade suddenly pulled herself back together, looking at Kurenai with a destroyed look. "B-But I've gotta be here! Naruto needs me!"

Kurenai looked over at Naruto. "What's wrong, Naruto? Anything I can help with?"

Naruto fidgeted around in embarrassment, but decided that if Tsunade was going to leave, he'd still need some help.

"Actually, Kurenai-sensei… Can you teach me how to date?"

Kurenai looked at him with a surprised look. "Um… Well, I am free…"

"Please?" Naruto asked politely, surprising Kurenai even more. She had never seen a polite Naruto before.

"O-Okay, I'll help!" she asked with an almost frightened voice. "But first, Tsunade-sama, you must get back to your office."

Tsunade opened her mouth to fight, but knew that there was no way for her to get out of it. She sighed sadly, and then turned back to Naruto with defeated eyes. "Well, sorry our date had to end, Naruto…" she said solemnly. She then stood up and walked out with a dejected disposition.

'Why is she calling it a date? I thought it was just practice…'

Putting the thought aside, Kurenai took Tsunade's place, and looked at Naruto. "Well, for starters, why don't we order food? If you're on a date with a girl, you should ask them what they want first."

"Uh… Is there a specific way you want me to ask you?"

"What do you mean?"

"Like… What kind of voice do I use? And how do I look at you?"

"Uh… Well, do it how you think you should do it."

Naruto decided to play it safe, and ask the way Tsunade had taught him. This time, he leaned forward again, looking at Kurenai with piercing blue eyes that made her quiver.

"Hey, Kurenai-sensei…What do you want to have tonight?"

Kurenai's face burnt red as she leaned back shyly. "W-W-Well, I think I'll have… C-Chicken?"

"Mm… I love white meat… But how do you feel about red meat? Do you like having red meat in you?" Naruto thought he was really clever, combining what Tsunade had taught him with Kurenai's lesson. Kurenai, on the other hand, was thinking something different.

"Y-Yeah… R-Red meat is nice too… Maybe I'll have red meat…" Kurenai felt her eyes edge down Naruto's body, down to his chest, his stomach, his…

"Hey, Kurenai!"

She jumped with a yelp, forcing Naruto to fall back onto his seat, as Shizune passed by, stopping at Kurenai's table.

"S-Shizune! W-What's up? I wasn't doing anything bad!" Kurenai replied quickly, her face red and sweaty.

"Tsunade-sama sent me to tell you that you were needed at the office too."

Meanwhile, at Tsunade's office…

"I won't let you stay with Naruto, Kurenai! MUAHAHAHAHAHAHA!"

"S-Sorry, Naruto, it looks like I'll have to go… B-But remember what I taught you… It was nice having this little date with you…"

"Yeah! Thanks, Kurenai-sensei!" he said with a friendly wave as Kurenai shakily left the restaurant.

"What's going on, Naruto?" Shizune asked. Deciding he would ask her for help this time, he explained his situation.

"… So please… Shizune-sensei?"

"Well… I've got nothing else to do… Sure, why not?"

Shizune took Kurenai and Tsunade's previous seat. The waiter put down a plate of chicken breast and a plate of beef steak.

"Well Naruto, seeing as there is food here, why don't we start with eating etiquette? It's important to remember that even while eating, you need to give your date the same attention you did even when you weren't eating. So try to do the same things you did before. I'm sure Kurenai told you a thing or two? Try doing those while eating."

"Wow, that sounds kinda tough. Well, alright…"

Naruto cut off a piece of chicken, lifting it to his lips while staring into Shizune's eyes. "Don't you love the taste of this chicken?" Because of Naruto's distracted mind, he didn't realize he was seductively licking the chicken. "This white meat is so good… Perhaps, if you're still hungry, I'll give you some of my meat. Would you like having my meat in you?"

Shizune's face lit up, wondering whether Naruto meant it to sound so sexual.

Naruto suddenly remembered a scene he saw on a television show in the same situation, and he decided to try it out. Surprising Shizune, he reached over and cut a piece of the beef steak off. He reached over, putting it in front of her mouth.

"Open your mouth, and let me put my beef in there."

"I-I dunno… I've never done this before…"

"Don't worry, just open your mouth."

Shizune shyly shut her eyes, her mouth twitching open, wrapping her lips around the piece of beef steak.

"Wow, you must love red meat."

"I-It's good…"

Before they could continue any more sexual innuendo, Anko suddenly appeared, tapping Shizune on the shoulder.

"I thought you disagreed with teacher-student relationships!" she teased, poking Shizune in the cheek.

"I-It's not like that! Naruto was asking me to help him learn what it's like to have a date!"

"Really?" Anko asked. "Well then, why don't I take over from here? You're needed back at the office."

"W-Well…" Shizune looked longingly at the piece of meat she had half-eaten on Naruto's fork, and watched in embarrassment as Naruto ate the other half. "I-I guess I have to go… Sorry to cut our date short, Naruto."

'Why is she calling it a date too?'

Meanwhile, at Tsunade's office…

"DAMMIT SHIZUNE I KNOW YOU'RE THERE WITH HIM! MUAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!"

As Shizune left, Anko fell onto Tsunade, Kurenai, and Shizune's seat, and looked up at Naruto with a grin. "So Naruto, show me what you've learned!"

Naruto obliged, doing everything he had done before, and Anko watched eagerly. After a moment, she got up, and sat on Naruto's side of the table with him.

"Naruto, if there ever was a person ready for a date, it would be you. Just do everything you just did in front of me, and without fail, you'll have a great date!"

She caressed Naruto's chest playfully. "It was real nice having this date with you, Naruto!"

"Y-Yeah, thanks, Anko-sensei!" Naruto said, wondering again why she called it a date. "Hey, do you know what the time is."

"It's just past midnight. Why?"

"Uh oh…"

Naruto suddenly jumped out of the restaurant, rushing back to his home.

"I've gotta become Boxer-sama and meet up with the girls!"

And so, carrying his newfound dating knowledge, he confidently jumped away to meet the girls and show them his incredible techniques.

END CHAPTER 20