The first day back at school after Allie's death was hard for Leah. They'd known each other since grade two. She was sure that everyone was going to be talking about it in homeroom. Leah had never gone to school alone before. Allie was always there with her to make her laugh and be her friend. Now that Allie was dead, there was no going back. She had to face this alone now. She had to face her fears. Leah just wanted to get the day over with so she could go watch her Laguna Beach marathon alone for the first time in five years.

"(to herself) Alright, Branson, we have to get through at least Frankel's class. If I can get to his class, I'll be fine. Great. Al, I need you!"

Leah is walking into the doors of New York High, when her classmates see her they begin whispering. One girl, Jenna, a sophomore, walks up to Leah.

"Leah, I'm so sorry about what happened. If you need to talk, you can come to me." Jenna says softly

"Do I know you?" Leah replies angrily. She runs away to her locker. For she did have known Jenna since she moved here when Leah was in sixth grade.

Later, after going through all her classes bawling her eyes out, Leah walks home alone. I better get used to this. For this'll be the routine I'll be doing everyday after school for the rest of my life, Leah said to herself.

This would be the routine for Leah for the next three months: walk home slowly from school, get something to eat, do homework, go into closet and cut self. Leah felt so bad for blabbing about what happend to Allie that she began to think that it was her fault. Everyday, Leah would crawl up in her closet and cut herself. She would never stoop so low as to kill herself. Cutting was perfectly fine to Leah. So embarrassed about the accident, she quit the cheerleading squad, resigned as softball captain, and left her great job as a dancer at Cleopatra Night Club. Her parents became extremely worried, for like Allie, Leah also said that she was okay and nothing was wrong.

"Really Mom," Leah says as she's doing her algebra homework, "I'm fine."

"Leah, honey, look at you. You've been cooped up in here too long. It's a beautiful, warm, sunny day out, why don't you put a tank top and jeans and go outside for a bit?" her mother asks quietly

Leah looks out the window. "Nah," she answers, "I have to finish my homework and I have to start on my history project."

"Alright, sweetie, call if you need anything. But tomorrow you have to go outside." Leah's mom says as she's leaving

"I'll think about it." Leah says without looking up from her work

The door closes. Leah scrambles into the closet and pulls out her scissors.

"I'm a bad girl." And she gives herself the first cut of the day with the sharp blade. "It's all my fault that Allie's dead." Cut. "No one likes a traitor. And that's what I did to Allie." Slash. "(Leah starts crying) Allie's never coming back and it's all my fault." Cut.

The first drops of blood slide down her arm as they mix with her tears that fell there.

"I'm sorry, Allie, it's all my fault you're dead. I'll never forget you."