SUMMARY: Sequel to "The SecDef Cheats." Lt. Col Cassidy moves in to NCIS and this will mean for Abby in the long run. McAbby, Drama/Romance/Angst
RATING: T - Adult subject matter, rare mild language, killer smooching.
A/N: More tormenting for Ziva :D
REVIEWS: I am always trying to improve my writing, so all constructive criticism is welcome. I would also like to thank you in advance for any reviews you might wish to leave. They really are a great boon to a writer's ego and gives you a huge incentive to live up to your expectations.
Chapter 18
Ziva had never been a fan of psychoanalysis. Not because she did not believe in its usefulness, but she simply did not wish to know that much about herself. It was selfish and juvenile, but she enjoyed the ignorance of her own motivations. It helped her sleep at night.
As she approached the Colonel's outer office, she was filled with an undeniable sense of dread. This was the last thing she wanted to be doing, but it was all she could do to avoid a much worse fate than self-awareness: going home.
Ziva entered the reception area with great reluctance and was met with the shining face of Lt. Tiner. "Good afternoon, Ma'am… How may I assist you?"
She took another step closer to his desk and tried to speak as quietly as possible, "Ah, well, I was hoping you could tell me when the Colonel has a few minutes to s-"
"Tiner?" The voice came from inside the Colonel's private office. "Is that Agent David?"
With a booming voice that made Ziva cringe, the lieutenant called back, "Aye aye, Sir."
"Send her in, please." Four little words that felt more like "you're going to die" than a quiet request.
Ziva did her best to smile at the Naval officer as he stood and gestured for her to enter. It was a pitiful attempt, but it made the man smile back. She walked the few steps to the door, and quickly found the man behind her. As she crossed the threshold, he called out, "Agent David, Sir."
Before she could escape, the woman looked up from her computer and smiled. "Thank you, Lieutenant." At her dismissal, he smiled at Ziva and then silently closed the door behind him.
She rose from her chair and walked around her desk to meet Ziva in the center of the room. "Agent David… To what do I owe this honor?" The Colonel extended her hand in a greeting and Ziva took it.
"I ah, want-, ah, needed to talk with-" The Colonel could see that Ziva was struggling and she gestured for her to take one of the chairs in front of her desk. "Well, I'm sure you know about the new requirements."
"Yes, I do. Which reminds me…" The Colonel reached over her desk and retrieved a single page before sitting down in the chair opposite Ziva. "There is a name on that list that was just replaced. During a routine evaluation, we learned of some possible conflicts of interest with one of the previously approved counselors. I was going to drop this off with you on my way downstairs a little later, but you beat me to it." She handed over the sheet to Ziva.
Ziva read over the sheet and found that she was now given the choice of the Colonel and another person familiar with the Mossad. "Dr. Tamari was removed?"
The Colonel smiled faintly and simply stated, "I'm not at liberty to discuss the subject."
"Someone must have finally discovered about Nami's little habit." The Colonel smiled again and Ziva had her answer.
"And I apologize for his name being given to you in the first place, but I was not involved in the selection process. As soon as I was given the list to review, I made it a point to disclose your family's relationship with the man."
Ziva's face scrunched up into a question mark and she asked, "But how did you know he was…" The realization suddenly dawned on Ziva. This woman was her intelligence mirror. "Is that why you were chosen as one of my possible counselors?"
"Partially, but also because I have the necessary security clearances to handle the information that keeps you safe." Ziva was growing concerned about just how much this woman knew about her past.
"I was told that I was hand picked for my original assignment…" She fixed the Colonel with an analytical glare, hoping to catch her tells. "But I've recently learned it was not by the person I had assumed it was…"
"You can stare at me all you like, but I've been doing this kind of work since you were still in rompers." Ziva's face flushed with her embarrassment at having been caught. "And yes, I was the one who selected you to deal with Haswari. No one but his sister would have been able to assist us in bringing him out of hiding."
"How did you-" The question died in her throat when she realized someone in American intelligence knew about her relationship to Ari. "How many people know?"
The Colonel's face became completely unreadable to Ziva, and the silence was practically deafening. When she finally spoke, Ziva felt the weight of the world. "Enough to keep you safe here, but too many to ever send you home."
The possibilities of a Mossad assassination team and her violent death began to fill her mind's eye, and then the Colonel spoke again. "But the last part is only known to myself, Agent Gibbs, the Commandant and the director of the CIA." Ziva's eyes were once again as big as saucers with the revelation that someone other than Gibbs knew about the assassination of her own brother.
"It was deemed a righteous kill in our eyes, but we considered it an unacceptable risk to return you to Mossad, should the information ever fall into the wrong hands. It's not part of your official record, but a record of the incident does exist, should the need arise for defense of the action." Ziva finally understood her real place in the United States in that moment. She was a point of negotiation in the court of public opinion between two governments struggling for power in the Middle East. It was a dubious distinction for a single person to have, but it had long been a part of her life. Her father had made very certain of that fact.
"Which brings me to why I came up here…" Ziva took in a deep breath and then forged ahead. "I respectfully request that you act as my counselor for the required sessions."
"Okay, I can agree to that… On two conditions." The Colonel had a puzzling look on her face, and Ziva struggle to decipher it.
In the end she decided it was not important and she made the move. "What would those be?"
"First, I need a sparing partner and the guys at the gym tell me you're the only person close enough to my own skill set to get a workout."
Ziva actually laughed at the notion, because she knew exactly what they thought of her at the Yard's gym. "I doubt it was put that way, very much."
"Okay, so they said you'd be the only one foolish enough to get into a ring with me, but that's just splitting hairs." Ziva decided the Colonel was someone she needed to get to know better in that moment, as she saw the woman smile openly.
"Agreed… I could use a good workout myself. Most of them are too afraid to fight a girl." Ziva raised her eyebrow with her comment.
"You do know I was stationed in Tel Aviv for three summers, and trained with Ronel during those times, right?" Suddenly Ziva worried for her safety when she got into the ring with the Colonel.
"I have a feeling this will be more of a learning experience…than a sparing match." The Colonel laughed that time, and Ziva found her laughter infectious. "Okay, what is the second condition?"
Col. Cassidy stood up and pulled a folder off of her desk to hand to Ziva before she went back behind it to return to her seat. "Get those turned in by the end of the week, so you don't miss the deadline for the Fall classes."
Ziva found that she was looking at a graduate program of courses for Georgetown University. She looked up at the Colonel with a startled expression which was met with the woman saying, "If you're going to be a decent profiler, you need to seriously improve your ability to hide surprise… That slack-jawed look isn't gonna fool anyone."