Oh my goodness… I am so sorry I haven't updated in so long! PLEASE DON'T KILL ME! I have been so busy these past few weeks, it's unbelievable: soccer twice a week, play practice every day after school, piano exam, variety show, homework, and stress. I apologize deeply…but don't despair, for the next chapter is here!

First off, I would like to thank Biabe Tendou for reviewing every chapter! Thank you ever so much! And more cookies (virtual of course) go to Kayane Joel, Darkwing731, SeussicalIsLove, Pokeman Trainer, Dóri, WhiteCamellia, and Milo. Also, thank you to my wonderful betas: Kate and Kelly (TheScarlettSecret).

Now, I would just like to say that this next chapter is especially significant for me, and I made it up at the spur of the moment…because I just thought I needed it in here...so on with the show, er story.

Chapter 13: Mistakes Only Make Us Stronger

The next few weeks for Lily were pure bliss. The news spread quickly throughout Hogwarts that James and Lily were going out, and students listened in shock as they heard the tale of what happened in the common room Christmas morning. (It now said that Lily and James had proceeded to make love in front of the fireplace. Lily quickly stomped that rumor).

They'd been going out for only a month and a half, and yet Lily already knew James was the one. Her confidence went to an almost unbearable peak because of all the glares she received in the hallways from all the "hopefuls", and spent the hours satisfied, knowing her boyfriend was wanted by many, but she, the infamous Lily Evans, had won. She'd won him, James Potter, the heartthrob of Hogwarts. They were together…it was hard for her to dare to believe, but she dared, and had never been happier then when being loved by someone as magical as James.

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Nearing their two month anniversary was when Lily began to notice some changes in James… some changes that affected her as none had affected her before: they made her have second thoughts. James' ego inflated big time, but Lily forgave him, seeing as his ego was usually always on the big side. But then other things started to happen… things that Lily couldn't ignore, no matter how hard she tried.

Lily knew James was a heartthrob, and other girls constantly flirted with him… and he tried his best not to flirt back, but he didn't always succeed. One day, he ranted to Lily about how Isabella Ranjo had come up and hugged him after potions class, congratulating him on being able to make Doxycide.

Lily was tempted to tell Olivia, but she decided not to… convincing herself that it wasn't a big deal. She only nodded when James told her, and laughed hesitantly. But her feelings were soothed a few days later, when, after being hugged by Isabella's cousin Sara after charms class, he told her that he still loved her more than anything. And so Lily let the incident slide.

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"Ugh… it's so cold in here!" Olivia said, rubbing her arms as they entered the common room on a cold Saturday afternoon in January.

"Mhm… but at least I have a sweatshirt!" Lily crowed, and Olivia stuck her tongue out at her.

"Why isn't the fire on?" Olivia asked, poking the logs with her foot. Lily casually pointed her wand at the fireplace and spoke words a first year would know, and had to look twice to make sure there actually weren't any flames.

"Hmmm…. it must be malfunctioning."

"Maybe the House Elves are rebelling, and are trying to freeze us all to death." Lily laughed, and plopped into an arm chair that sagged under her weight, throwing a blanket to Olivia.

"Uh, I doubt that…. hopefully it'll start again soon."

"Man it's cold in here!" Sirius bellowed as he entered the room, followed by the rest of the Marauders.

"Join the club, Sirius!" Olivia said with a frozen giggle. Sirius grabbed for the blanket Olivia had been holding, much to the girl's protest.

"I'm serious, I'm gonna freeze to death!"

"Yes, you are Sirius," James replied, grinning, kissing Lily's cheek quickly. He glanced at Olivia and saw her rubbing her arms feverishly and glaring at his friend. "Would you like my sweatshirt, Olivia?" He grabbed the sleeve and prepared to pull it off.

At first, Olivia looked like it might be a good idea, but then she glanced at Lily, turned back to James and replied,

"Oh, no thanks, James… I have one upstairs. But thanks for the offer anyway." Lily sat there, feeling as if someone had just slapped her. What! James had just offered Olivia his sweatshirt! His sweatshirt! He wasn't supposed to offer it to Olivia; he was supposed to offer it to Lily! What was going on?

Lily glanced up at him, and could tell he didn't know he'd done anything wrong. And why would he? Lily was being stupid, and acting like a very possessive girlfriend. It was alright that James had offered his sweatshirt to another girl… He was just being nice to her, which was a pleasant change. It'd be alright.

But it wasn't. Having a boy offer you his sweatshirt, or any article of clothing for that matter, was one of the cutest gestures a boy could do… and him having Lily as a girlfriend and offering it to another girl? What was wrong with him!

Lily knew she was overreacting and it was no big deal. James would quit acting like this and come around. Or so she hoped.

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Over the weeks, things didn't improve. James got more and more cocky each day, talking and laughing with his fan club, all of whom shamelessly flirted back. And to make it all worse, he did it all in front of Lily's eyes.

He even went back to hexing people, convinced that Lily loved him so much, she'd never break up with him, no matter what he did. But Lily wasn't so sure. She was getting so fed up with his stupidity and carelessness. He didn't make her feel any better either when he said he loved her, because she wasn't entirely sure he meant it.He said it so carelessly, so freely, without any emotion behind it to prove his words true. He constantly talked about other girls, and how they hugged him nearly every day, but Lily didn't have the heart to yell at him, confused as she was. What with James acting like he was, and loads of homework every night, Lily was ready to crack.

Finally, she couldn't take it anymore. She had to talk to someone: Olivia.

Lily normally didn't write notes, and always paid attention in class. But this was an exception. During History of Magic, Lily pulled out a piece of parchment and began to write, conscious of the fact that James was sitting behind her and could easily read what she was writing:

My Dearest Olivia, she began

I'm having second thoughts about this whole James business. He has changed so much lately. His ego is HUGE, so huge, I can hardly stand it. And he is constantly ranting about how he is hugged by so many other girls, and he has gotten unbearably cocky. I just don't know how much more I can take. A few weeks ago, when he offered you his sweatshirt, really made me mad as well… it was a huge wake up call for me. Do you think I'm being stupid/overreacting? I mean, I know him offering you his sweatshirt was no big deal… but just think about it! He's my boyfriend, offering youhis sweatshirt. I'd like to thank you for saying no… you saved me tons of tears.

Oh… and he's also started hexing people again. What am I going to do? He isn't the James I said yes too… he is different. He's changing… but I know he can't help it. I mean, the flirting and stuff he can, but his ego, well, I knew it'd go up when he started going out with me. He has just changed so much… a lot more self confidence (if that's even possible)… but he is just different. And I don't know what to do… he isn't the James I knew back at Christmastime.

Please, Olivia, I need help.

Love,

Lily

Satisfied, Lily folded the piece of parchment and scrawled her best friend's name across the top… and she found herself hoping that James had read what she had written. How else was she supposed to tell him?

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Man… she's gorgeous. James thought, staring at the back of Lily's head. Her red hair was done up in a loose bun, and strands of it hung down across her shoulder blades. What did her hair feel like? Was it smooth? Brittle? Coarse? Slimy? Laughing to himself, James reached out and gently ran his fingers over a select few strands: it felt exactly as he'd imagined, smooth as ice cream. Grinning to himself, James leaned back in his seat, content to know everything was perfect.

He heard the scratching of a quill and looked around. Who would be taking notes during History of Magic? James looked up and laughed silently. It was probably Lily. He peered over her shoulder, hoping to take a few notes himself, so he could at least try and pass the exam. He glanced hastily up at Professor Binns before looking over his girlfriend's shoulder. But what he saw weren't History of Magic Notes.

My Dearest Olivia, he read

I'm having second thoughts about this whole James business. Then she shifted the paper and he couldn't read anymore. But that was enough for him; he didn't need, or want, to see anymore. He sank slowly back in his chair, the room blurring around him. Suddenly, he felt sick… majorly sick. He needed to get out… he needed to go throw up. Everything was so hot… gross… useless. He needed to get away.

But he couldn't… he had to sit there, dying every second, wondering what in the world he'd done.

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Lily entered the common room late that night. She'd just gotten done tutoring some fifth years in Transfiguration for their O.W.L.s and she still had tons of homework, but she wanted to talk to Olivia first. No, she needed to. It was hard enough waiting since History of Magic, but then tutoring… she really needed this talk.

She ascended the stairs to her dorm and quietly opened the door, not wanting to disturb anyone. Olivia was the only person in the room, sitting on her bed, obviously waiting for her. Lily dropped her books on her bed and sat down, looking expectantly at her friend. Olivia tied her hair up in a sloppy bun, sat down across from Lily, folded her legs, and said,

"I read your note." Lily nodded. "And I don't think your being stupid at all." She breathed a sigh of relief… thank God her friend understood.

"So, what should I do?"

"Before you decide, I need to tell you something." Lily's heart froze.

"What?"

"James came up to me after dinner and told me he'd read part of the note… the first sentence." Lily's breath caught in her throat and she had to mentally tell herself to breathe.

"W-what?"

"Yeah," Olivia replied, shaking her head. "He was totally confused… he said he didn't know what he'd done to make you say that, and that he was very sorry… and that he loves you more than anything." Lily took a deep shuddering breath and let the tears come.

"Oh my God…" she sputtered, "what have I done?"

"Sweetheart…" Olivia soothed, pulling Lily into her arms and letting her cry.

"Oh Olivia," Lily sniffed, wiping her eyes with the sleeve of her shirt. "What am I going to do?"

"Well, what do you want to do?" Lily closed her eyes. She knew what she wanted to do: stay with James, and comfort him forever and ever. But was that what she should do?

"If he's not the person you said "yes" to, then maybe you should, well…" Olivia said softly, her eyes radiating concern and sympathy, finishing the sentence for her.

"But… I feel bad. Because I'm totally overreacting… he could've done worse things…" Lily's voice trailed off and she glanced down at the necklace James had given her, and the tears renewed themselves. She buried her head in Olivia's shoulder.

"I hate boys!" she sobbed.

"So do I hon… so do I."

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Late that night, Lily stole down to the common room, hoping to get some homework done in the quiet and stillness of the deserted common room. But when she came downstairs, there was one person still awake: a tall, muscular boy sitting in front of the fire with his head in his hands and, for once, it didn't look like he was trying to mess it up. Lily took a deep breath and cleared her throat, causing James's head to jerk up and for him to leap to his feet.

"Oh, Lily…" he breathed, coming towards her. "I'm so sorry, for whatever I did. I didn't think I did anything, but obviously-"

"Shhhh…." Lily whispered, laying a finger across his lips. Her sub consciousness was telling her how soft they were, but she wasn't going to listen to it. Not yet, anyways. "It's alright. What you did doesn't matter. I feel so bad… because I was totally overreacting." James pulled her hand away.

"Overreacting or not, I want to know what I did, so I can fix it. I just can't stand knowing I hurt you Lily." Lily sighed and sat next to him on a nearby couch, and they talked the night away: she told him what he'd done wrong, and almost died when he started crying. They blamed themselves, not each other, for the situation (James for being a prat and Lily for overreacting), and they comforted, caressed, and loved.

"I'm so sorry, Lily," James murmured, hugging her once again.

"It's alright, James."

"You sure?"

"Mhm… positive." She raised her head, her sub consciousness reminding her of its earlier message and kissed him quickly. He grinned, and wrapped his arms more tightly around her.

"I love you Lily."

"I love you too, James… and this is only going to make us stronger."

"What do you mean?"

"Our mistakes, James… they will make us stronger."

"They will?" Lily looked up at him again and nodded with a small, sad smile. He looked so cute when he was confused.

"Yes, James, they will." James waited a moment, pondering, before breaking the comfortable, soft silence.
"I'm gonna have to be pretty damn strong then, aren't I?" James flexed his arm, considering.
Lily let out a cross between a sigh and a stifled laugh, and hit him on the same arm playfully. "Shut up, you prat."
"Bookworm," James rebutted. He waited a second, and added, "I love you, Lily Evans."
Lily's world exploded. He said he loved her… He had a thousand times before, but this was different. She could see it in his eyes, hear it in his voice, and feel it in his touch. This time there was emotion. This time, it was real. It didn't take a moment's hesitation before she replied in the same way,
"And I love you, James Potter."