"Thank you,"Cristina uttered that in a quiet voice.
Alex brushed his nose with his finger and flashed an awkward smile. They were not friends, why should he care?
Perhaps he felt obliged. People saw him as the jerk who slept around and picked fights with anyone. But he felt obliged to air-lift Izzie from Denny's room; he was compelled to defend Bailey at the M&M. Above all, he had a sense of duty whenever he served the youngest and most vulnerable patients.
He was a wrestler, a macho guy, but there was a lot more to fight for in life than the mere satisfaction of beating another guy.
He wished he had known that earlier, that life was bigger than that. He wondered if Cristina knew.
"Aren't studying for surgeries tonight?"
"I've been reading all the time. I think I can do the procedures backwards now," Cristina held the bar in her hand, her eyes still fixating on the feet of the wooden bench.
"So you're gonna suture before you open up the body?" Alex smirked.
"Very funny!" Cristina finally looked up and snapped. "Did I say you're allowed to socialize with me?"
Instead of fighting back, Alex smiled. "I was just about to ask what pills you're taking that make you so calm and collected lately Cristina."
Cristina. Alex had always called everyone by their first name, except Cristina and Burke. But tonight, as in other times lately, his co-worker was nothing more than Cristina.
She still had fire in her eyes, but it wasn't strong enough to dry up the tears he thought might trickle down sooner or later.
"I've always been calm," Cristina stood up and threw the candy bar into her locker. "Only calm people can excel in surgeries. Only calm people can excel in life."
Only a calm and mature person could keep secrets and hold things together. That was what Cristina strived to become—if she hadn't already been one.
Cristina Yang was never calm when she talked about surgeries. She always got super excited. Why was she biting her lips and staring into the row of lockers now?
Just when Alex was trying to make sense of things, an unlikely visitor to the locker room appeared: He too was very calm.