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This is one of my favorite chapters. Short, yes, but filled with action. I didn't plan to have this happen, but I just started writing and didn't really see a way out of Lily's "midnight escapade" without this. Enjoy! And don't forget to review!
Chapter 17: It Started With Dreams
Lily lay there, panting, the cold stone of the castle pressing against her tear stained face, as she tried to get her breathing under control. Biting her lip, she raised her hand to her face and slowly tried to wipe away her tears. Adrenaline rushed out of her body, leaving her feeling cold, limp, and utterly helpless. A soft sob escaped her mouth and she drew in a deep shuddering breath, trying to clear her mind with the cool night air. She turned her head and glanced towards Hogesmade, dreading the moment the werewolf would burst out toward her, anticipating it any second. Images flashed before her eyes, as her brain tried to make sense of what had happened. Why were James and Sirius down there? Why hadn't she seen them at first?
Lily didn't know how long she lay on the steps of the castle, but when she opened her eyes, she found herself lying in the Hospital Wing. How warm she was… how comfortable and safe she felt… then terror flooded through Lily as she realized that she hadn't gotten herself there, someone had brought her up. But who? Was she in trouble? Still feeling slightly groggy, Lily struggled into a sitting position, glancing blearily around the room. She inhaled sharply as she saw Remus lying in the bed next to her, scratches covering his face, neck, and what little she could see of his arms. She stared at him as she regained her memories, trying to comprehend that he, gentle, sweet, caring Remus had been the beast last night who would've torn her to pieces if it hadn't been for James.
"Good, Lily, you're awake." Madam Pomfrey bustled out of her office, carrying a tray of hot tea and biscuits.
"Eat," she commanded, setting the tray on Lily's bedside table. Lily sat up as
Madam Pomfrey fluffed up her pillows then leaned against them, her back protesting as she felt the hard iron headboard poke into her. Squirming into a comfier position, Lily gladly accepted the cup of hot tea, enjoying the feeling of the warmth slithering down her throat.
"After you've eaten, and gotten dressed, you may leave," Madam Pomfrey said, laying out Lily's school clothes on the bed next to her. "All you needed was a night of rest after…" Madam Pomfrey paused, glanced over at Remus, and then looked back at Lily, "what happened."
Suddenly, the tea slithering down Lily's throat didn't seem so warm anymore.
"The Headmaster would like to see you in his office before you head back to your classes. The password is chocolate frogs." And with that, she turned and headed back into her office, leaving Lily with a colossal sized knot in her stomach.
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Lily stood outside the statue to Dumbledore's office, contemplating on whether or not she should go in. But of course, being the good girl she was, the password forced itself out of Lily's throat before she'd made up her mind, and she found herself climbing up the winding stairs. She knocked once she reached the top, the door opening a few moments later. James stood there, several scratches running across his face, wearing a worn weary look. He stepped aside so Lily could walk in. As she did, their eyes met and Lily's heart grew cold at the blank stare she received. Glancing up, she saw Dumbledore sitting placidly at his desk, his long fingers placed tip to tip in front of his face, lightly touching the end of his nose. His electric blue eyes sparkled as he motioned for Lily to sit down across from him. Lily did so, tentatively lowering herself into the chair, wondering what was going to come of this meeting. James shut the door and, instead of leaving, as Lily had hoped, he sat down in the chair next to her, staring straight ahead, his face set in a stony expression.
"Thank you for coming up, Miss Evans, on such short notice," Dumbledore said abruptly, his crystal clear voice penetrating the silence like a knife.
"No problem," Lily murmured glancing at the phoenix perched on the wall. His beady eyes met hers, condemning her. She looked away, feeling tears welling up in her throat. She forced them down and looked up when Dumbledore spoke again.
"Miss Evans, I will not ask you to repeat the events of last night, but I trust you understand you were not meant to witness them. But now that you have, it's time you knew the truth." At the word "truth", Lily glanced over at James, but he remained motionless as ever. The knot in her stomach grew tighter.
"I understand, Sir," Lily answered softly.
"The werewolf is, as you might've guessed, Remus Lupin. He transforms in the Whomping Willow every full moon. But never before, to my knowledge, has he run about Hogesmade." At this statement, Dumbledore looked at James and raised his eyebrows. James shifted in his seat, but continued to stare stonily ahead.
"Who were the animals that were with him?" Lily asked quietly.
"Who were the animals?" Dumbledore repeated. "Well, I'm not entirely sure myself. Who were the animals, James?" James looked at Dumbledore and shook his head slowly.
"You know as well as I do, Sir," he replied.
"Ah, yes, I know. But Lily here doesn't." James glanced at Lily and then quickly lowered his gaze. He muttered something Lily couldn't hear.
"Yes?" she prompted. James jerked his head up and met her gaze fiercely.
"Me, Lily. Me. Me, Sirius, and Peter. We were the animals." Silence enveloped the room again as Lily tried to comprehend what she'd heard. How could they be animals? It wasn't possible. Unless…
"You're animagi?" Lily asked in disbelief as the answer unfolded, her heart racing.
"Yes." More silence. Lily hated it.
"But how?"
"We did it in fifth year. We figured out the potion, made it, and became animagi to help Remus with his transformations." A thousand thoughts raced through Lily's head, and she didn't care to try and figure them out. How could James do something so risky? How could he be so stupid as to attempt something so dangerous? But it had worked. The Marauders, the brilliant Marauders, had figured out how to become animagi and they'd done it. Lily didn't know what to say. Everything made sense now. Horribly so.
"Why did you come down last night?" James asked.
"Peter told me. He told me you weren't really planning a Valentine's Day prank in the Shrieking Shack. He said you were helping Remus transform into a werewolf. I was curious, so I followed you guys last night when you left."
"Why didn't you just ask me if it was true or not?" James asked.
"I didn't want to have a fight." Lily shrugged. "I didn't want you to think I was accusing you of lying. Which I shouldn't have worried about anyways."
"But you understand, don't you?"
"Understand what?" Lily demanded, her temper flaring.
"Headmaster, may we continue this outside your office?" James asked, turning back to Dumbledore who had sat there the whole time watching the proceedings as if they were a television show.
"Yes, you are both excused. But I must warn you, don't take this too far. It was just a misunderstanding. A misjudgment of truth and character. Please, I would like to have both our head boy and girl alive at the end of the year." Lily and James both stood up, Dumbledore acknowledged them with a nod of his head, and they walked out the door. Lily quickly descended the spiral staircase and bolted through the statue and into the corridor, James right behind her. He grabbed her arm as she made to turn the corner and pulled her back towards him.
"Lily, we need to talk."
"There's nothing to say," Lily retorted, trying to worm her way out of his grip. "You lied to me. End of story." James let out a sound of disbelief.
"You're the one who was stupid enough to follow us. Why did you assume Peter was lying?"
"Because it's Peter. You've said yourself he's not to be trusted. And I wanted to trust you James Potter. I wanted to trust that you were telling the truth."
"But why didn't you just ask me? I wouldn't have yelled."
"Maybe not," Lily replied, "but you would've just lied even more, thinking you could get away with it."
James let go of her arm and ran his fingers through his hair. He took a deep breath and blew it out sharply, trying to calm down. But Lily was not about to calm down anytime soon.
"What else do I need to know about you, James? Besides the fact that you love to lie and that you're an illegal animagi? Do you have another girlfriend, perhaps? A secret lover?" Lily demanded.
"Lily, stop it. You know I'd never do such a thing."
"I never thought you'd lie to me either, James." Lily stood there feeling like her heart had been thrown into a blender and ripped to shreds. Crushing, painful, heart- wrenching hurt filled her body and she waited for James to respond, tears welling up behind her eyes. But he, the suave, smooth talking, confident James had nothing left to defend himself with.
"Lily, I'm sorry," he said, reaching for her hand. "You're right, you're not at fault here. I really am sorry. Next time, I'll tell you everything, I swear."
"James," Lily whispered, withdrawing her hand from his, "I don't know if there's going to be a next time." Once Lily saw the hurt fill his eyes, the same gut wrenching pain she was feeling, she turned and ran back to the common room, past several first years giggling over innocent crushes. She climbed the steps to her dormitory three at a time, and gratefully threw herself onto her four poster, sobbing into her pillow.
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James trudged back to his dormitory, glaring at the shrieking first years, and sat slowly down on his bed. What the hell was wrong with him? Why did he always have to screw everything up? In that moment, James hated himself more than he ever had before. Even more than the time he forgot to buy Sirius a Christmas present. Reaching for the picture of him and Lily in Hogesmade on his bedside table, he stared at it, yearning to once again see the happiness in Lily's eyes, see the smile spread across her beautiful face, and hear her laughter echoing through the air. A single tear slid down his face and landed on the frame, blotting out Lily's face. From the picture. And from his life.