Author's Note: No need to thank me for the timely update.
... wait, no. This update is like six months later than I wanted it to be. I have the story in my head (roughly four times as much as what's actually written), the problem is actually getting it down. I'll spare you the actual details, but it entails a long tale of bad grades, long hours at my summer job, and general family crap. But who cares, right? There's NaoNat to be read!
-----
A creased sheet of newspaper drifted in the late night breeze, spinning lazy rotations, lit only by the harsh yellow light of the street lamp against black pavement. It's meanderings brought it into contact with the rough brick wall of the covered subway entrance, and it caught and twisted, folding itself over before tumbling on. As Natsuki watched it continue off into the darkness, she wondered if there was some sort of symbolic relationship behind the aimless wandering paper and herself, or whether this uncharacteristic poetic musing was borne instead from too much studying for her Classical Japanese Literature exam tomorrow.
Even the thought of the exams before the August summer break made her head hurt. It was something of a habit for her to go into exams dreadfully unprepared, and to walk away with passable grades somehow. Usually she managed it by cram-studying only hours before the exam. But now, the sun had set on her final day to prepare, and instead of hitting the books like the rest of her classmates, she was standing and waiting by a subway entrance.
'What the hell am I doing here?' she asked herself for probably the tenth time. Even discounting her imminent academic doom, this was rather foolish of her. Her last parting with Nao, nearly two days ago, had been on shaky terms. Through the course of their recent friendship, Nao had done an immaculate job of respecting Natsuki's consuming need for privacy, and now Natsuki was ready to barge in on something that was... really not her place, all things considered. Not to mention that she had no idea when Nao usually went out, what days she went out, or even what subway terminal she used to enter Fuuka City. This one was her best guess because it was the closest to Nao's house, but... there were so many unknowns.
And yet for some reason... here she was.
As Natsuki was reciting the list of reasons why she shouldn't be there to herself, she caught a glimpse of approaching sanguine hair illuminated by streetlight before it vanished into the pitch black night again. Natsuki's heart began to beat like the wings of a hummingbird, faced with the reality that she actually would have to go through with this intervention of sorts. She vaguely contemplated staying hidden back in the darkened, foliage covered median she had parked her bike on to wait.
After a moment, Nao's figure, dressed in her old middle school outfit, crossed through the stretch of well lit street before the entrance to the subway. The younger girl glanced about her surreptitiously, before making a bee line for the subway entrance. The temptation to let her pass by and go on with her business unbothered was almost irresistible, but a last minute burst of anger at her own weakness wrenched the words from her tight throat. "Oi!" she called to Nao's back, though only a matter of thirty feet separated them.
Nao's steps faltered, then almost resumed, then stopped. She turned her head around, searching for the source of the voice. "What do you want, Natsuki?" she replied icily.
The navy blue blouse and black pants she had picked out were chosen with an eye for stealth, so the older girl brushed aside the leaves that comprised her makeshift stakeout, out into the streetlight. "Um... what a coincidence, meeting you here. I just happened to be in the area, and..." she offered awkwardly, with a weak smile. Nao only stared at her with a deep rooted anger, not bothering to voice her disbelief for the preposterous statement, nor rising to the bait of the humor. Natsuki stammered, feeling herself to be deeply in the wrong in this situation, and searching for a way to apologize. "I was just thinking... maybe you could use a ride?"
Nao tilted her head sarcastically, her words filled with scorn. "Oh? So kind of you to wait for me... by the subway. Unfortunately, I'm already right next to my intended mode of transit."
"Waiting by your house seemed a little too... well... creepy. Anyway... I can at least save you the cost of the ticket..."
The redhead turned away, making another two steps towards the stairs down and flashing a thin piece of plastic without looking. "Month long unlimited use ticket, right here. I ride the subway to school, remember?"
"I can drive faster than any subway car." She sucked in a breath. "Come on... let me give you a lift?" Natsuki offered, letting a small amount of the desperation slip into her voice.
Nao finally turned back with her whole body, a look something like resignation in her eyes. "Fine. Where did you park?"
-----
They drove, tearing down the well lit streets of Fuuka City at speeds a police officer might deem 'reckless'. But there was surprisingly little traffic, and Natsuki basked in the exhilaration of the speed she was allowed. The girl hugging her from behind, riding on the back half of the single seat motorcycle, was in a brooding silence. Three times Natsuki had called back to Nao, asking where she wanted to be dropped off, but the redhead either was too absorbed in the ride to hear or hadn't deigned to answer. Natsuki had decided after the third failed attempt at communication that her passenger was ignoring her, and had just relaxed. Without thinking, her steering guided her back to her own apartment, finally coming to rest in the tiny parking lot allotted to residents. She parked her bike, vaulting off in a dismount.
She watched Nao pull the helmet off, freeing her red tresses from the confines of the plastic shell. "Sorry... I wasn't sure where to go. I asked you a couple times where you wanted to be let off, but..."
"... s'okay." Nao mumbled, refusing to meet Natsuki's eyes. She slid off the back of the bike, leaving the helmet placed precariously on the seat, shambling towards the staircase up.
While properly storing the helmet, Natsuki's brow creased with worry. Something about Nao's demeanor bothered her. It took a moment to place it, but eventually Natsuki came to the realization of the source of her worry: Nao seemed almost vulnerable. Of all the range of emotions the younger girl exhibited, vulnerability was not one of them. She broke into a slow jog to close the gap between them that had formed while she contemplated, catching up and walking in sync. She waited until they had climbed the stairs and entered her apartment before she began to talk again. "You okay?" she asked with a small measure of concern.
Her innocent question was a catalyst, and the morose expression melted into anger. "I'm fine." Nao spat, shrugging off her concern. "What makes you think you have the right to intrude on what I do with my own life, anyway?"
The words bit into Natsuki, echoed from what she could imagine would be a response from her own self not too long ago, back when thoughts of the First District and revenge filled her life. The easiest answer would be to push the responsibility off on Kaori, but she rejected that thought. "I just... I guess I just wanted to spend time with you." It sounded awkward to her ears even as she said it, no matter that it was actually true. They rarely shared such sentiments with each other.
"Bullshit," came the fiery reply. "Ever since you ambushed me by the subway, you've been looking at me like I'm the ugly girl your friends are forcing you to take to the school prom... like you'd rather be a thousand miles away right now." Nao turned on her. "What's really going on, Natsuki?"
"I... I did this because..." Natsuki felt her throat go dry.
A slow realization dawned on Nao, the anger melting away. "Did... did Mama ask you to do this?"
So much for not letting her find out. "She cares about you, Nao." Natsuki replied, answering by not answering.
Nao sat down heavily in a chair in her kitchenette, cradling her head in a hand. "Yeah, well... someone has to, I guess. It's not like I make it easy."
"Tell me about it." Natsuki replied with a small grin.
The full implications of the statement rolled around in Nao's mind. Obviously they both knew they were no longer enemies, but for Natsuki to go so far as to actually voice concern for her was rather new. She had the grace to look appreciative. "Thanks, I guess." She watched as Natsuki took a seat across from her, and glanced around the small room. "I could really use a drink."
Natsuki blinked... there was no mistaking the way she used the word 'drink' for a request for soda. They had eaten together often enough, but the subject of alcohol hadn't come up before. "How old are you?" she asked rhetorically.
Nao snorted. "Since when have you cared about those kinds of things? When was it again that you started to drive?"
Brushing her long bangs out of her eyes, Natsuki gave her a long, disapproving glare. "Do as I say, not as I do. I'm your sempai; I'm supposed to be teaching you right from wrong, you know." she deadpanned. Nao's outraged expression was too much, and Natsuki serious facade cracked under the pressure of keeping her mirth in. Nao's expression broke too as she found the humor in it, and joined in the laughter.
When they had both calmed down, Natsuki retrieved a tall bottle of light brown liquid from an upper shelf and a pair of shot glasses. The oppressive feeling in the room had dissipated after the laughter, and she felt like celebrating. "This isn't sake." Natsuki lectured, gesturing to the bottle. "It's an American drink called Jack Daniel's. Even the strongest sake has about 20 percent alcohol by volume... this stuff has 40 percent." As she spoke, she watched the younger girl spin the tiny cup around between her fingers, before wrestling off the cap and pour herself a portion of the intoxicating liquid that threatened to spill over the brim. "Ca... careful with that." Natsuki warned. "I don't know what kind of history you have with liqueur, but unless you have a lot of tolerance, this stuff can really do a number on yo.." She trailed off from her final word, watching as the girl across from her drained the overfull glass with only a small amount spilled on the white surface of the outdated uniform.
Nao set the glass down gracefully, managing to stare at the table for a long moment before coughing harshly in a few staccato bursts. She looked up at Natsuki, her eyes watery from the burning sensation, but a smile plastered on her face. "You weren't kidding."
Natsuki raised her eyebrows in an expression of feigned surprise. "Really? Well, yeah. I have a bit of experience in this sort of thing. Too much, to be honest." She poured a half glass for herself, draining it without much of a reaction. She watched Nao begin to pour herself another shot, and reached across the table to stop the pour at a little less than half full. "Easy there." she intoned in a scholarly voice. "We've got all night."
They spent a long period taking more manageable drinks at a slow pace, occasionally glancing at each other. An outside observer might think the quiet between them was uncomfortable, but truthfully, these long periods of silence were something of a tradition for them. While most people got uneasy during long lapses in conversation, they didn't mind. When she wasn't subtly contemplating Natsuki out of the corner of her eye, Nao appeared to be pouring over her memories, the older girl noted. The redhead's emerald eyes, which usually sparkled with a lust for life whenever she wasn't forcing a demeanor of boredom, had taken on a more serious look. Something about the contemplative Nao was scary.
"So..." Nao broke the long quiet, with a small amount of drunken slur. "What was she like?"
Natsuki blinked in confusion. "...what?"
"Mama. When she was asking you to stop me." she elaborated helpfully.
Spinning her recently emptied, tipped over shot glass around in circles, Natsuki considered how to respond. "She was... impassioned."
"Impassioned, huh." Nao mused. "I should be angry that she did something like this. But I suppose... looking back on it, she tried to talk to me about it a couple of times, and I always shrugged it off." She followed her statement by pouring herself another shot.
"Why?" Natsuki asked.
"I... don't know." Nao admitted with a reluctant frown. Her eyes flickered up to Natsuki for a short moment, and Natsuki got the impression Nao was deciding how much she wanted to admit out loud. Eventually, she continued. "I guess because even though these trips – they're something I feel like I need to do, but I can't really justify it to her."
Natsuki turned back, putting the bottle up on the counter, out of Nao's reach. "It's not like I can't sympathize. I had my own personal mission once."
A small sound of interest sounded from the younger girl. "What, your little crusade of justice against the First District?"
"Justice?" Natsuki echoed. "I'm not Midori." she continued ruefully. "I tried to stop them from gathering up the HiME, but don't make out my intentions to be noble. It was a quest of revenge, pure and simple.
"Revenge?" Nao said the word like others might mention the name of a lover, her Cheshire smile blooming upon her face. "I never heard that story."
"Few people have." Natsuki evaded. Indeed, she had only ever talked about her vengeance to Shizuru and Mai.
"No fair." Nao smiled as she sipped. "I told you my whole story."
"Yeah... while I was tied up, suspended from the ceiling in my own apartment." Natsuki observed dryly.
"Come on... I love a good tragedy. What could drive a nice girl like you to revenge?"
Natsuki relented, drummed her fingers on the table as her mind danced over the past. "My mother was a researcher for the First District. After she and my father split up, she requested a transfer. We moved to Fuuka into an apartment here, because she her new post was a coastline laboratory only a five minute drive south of here. Things went well for a while, but..." she trailed off. "Whether the First District figured out I would one day become a HiME, or prepared me to become one... I'm not sure. I never did figure out how it the system worked. All I know is, at some point my mother realized they had an interest in me, and she tried to save me." She rubbed her eye with the palm of her hand. "She was taking me away from everything, she said. She didn't even give me time to pack... just picked me up and threw me in the car, driving like a maniac. We made it to the old coastline road before the ambushed us, and rammed our car off the cliff. I remember the car filling with water, and her voice..." Natsuki let the story lapse, not feeling like continuing. There was more complications than even that... John Smith had told her a terrible alternate version to the story, one that she still could barely bring herself to contemplate, much less relate to Nao. But the truth had died with her mother, and Natsuki was content to leave it there.
Nao curled her fingers around her shot glass, nursing the small pool of liquid left inside with a tiny sip. Her smile had faded as the story played out, replaced by a grim look. "Then you know why I feel like I do."
"All too well." Natsuki agreed. "Even during the most depressing and trying of times, you've got a tangible goal that you can dedicate yourself to; always driving forward and pushing yourself to your limits."
"Then why did you stop me tonight?"
"Because I've been to the end of that road, Nao." Natsuki answered seriously. "All of the First District sat in smoldering ruins, and I didn't even feel the slightest twinge of satisfaction."
"But that's because your beloved Kaichou-sama stole it all away from you." Nao observed brutally. "You wanted to take them down yourself, and she waltzed in and stole your revenge."
Natsuki shook her head slowly. "I don't think so. Even if it was something I had done myself... it wouldn't have mattered. Revenge is just something that never ends well. It didn't bring my mother back."
"I already have my mother back." Nao refuted. "This is about finding the scum of the earth, and giving them what they deserve, plain and simple."
"And... where does it all end?"
"It doesn't." Nao replied flatly. "I seriously doubt there is a limited supply of perverts out there."
"Wrong." Natsuki looked into Nao's eyes; those emeralds that glittered in the darkness. "It does have an end. You'll continue to have your fun until it ends badly. You'll get in over your head... and end up raped or paralyzed or dead."
Nao didn't seem to have a response, preferring to stare into her cup. She wanted to fire back an angry retort, but Natsuki's harsh words brought up memories of her several recent close calls. Her own recognition of her mortality was uncomfortable, but an unfortunate side effect of maturity. After a long moment, she finally replied in a huffy voice. "I've been doing pretty good so far."
"But you've had your fair share of narrow escapes." Natsuki correctly inferred. "Do you really think things can go on forever like this? You barely fit into that middle school outfit anymore."
"I... don't really like to plan ahead that far." Nao admitted, draining the last of her glass, offering it out for a refill with a blank face.
Natsuki made no move to retrieve the bottle. "It was fine for you to go on like that back when you had Elements to protect you and no one who cared about you. Today... Kaori stays up at night, waiting for you to come home."
Nao's fist closed around her glass tightly, her eyes clenched as though she was in pain. "So what? I don't like hurting her, but... this isn't something I'm just going to give up because someone doesn't agree with me."
"Even if that person is your mother?"
"Even if that person is my mother." Nao confirmed with a hard expression.
Natsuki smiled, changing tactics. "I think you're just scared to change."
Nao bristled. "What the hell does that mean?"
"It means that you've been doing this for so long... you don't know what to do with yourself if you stopped."
Nao's eyes traced along the upper cabinets of Natsuki's kitchenette, letting the silence linger. "Maybe." she finally admitted, though her tone was still thick with resentment. She blew a stream of air out between her lips in frustration. "There just isn't anything else worth doing."
A traditional therapist would probably take objection to that statement, pointing out that Nao had plenty of things to apply herself to: getting better grades, socializing more with her peers, excelling at a hobby, and preparing for marriage. Luckily, Natsuki was not a traditional therapist, she knew full well that Nao didn't care one bit about any of those things. After all, Natsuki was in the same boat herself. "I'm not exactly an expert in this kind of stuff, but I think that there's something out there for us all... if we look hard enough.
"You're kidding me. What kind of feel-good crap is that?"
Natsuki shook her head. "Deadly serious."
The scorn in Nao's eyes was obvious. "Okay, then. How about you? What's the meaning of your life, now that the First District is gone?"
It occurred to Natsuki, not for the first time, how wildly unqualified she was for this type of life counseling. Still, it was too late to back down now. "I'm still searching. I've got some ideas, though. I'd like to learn more about motorcycles."
Nao frowned. "More than you already do?"
"I might have the aura of a biker girl, but honestly... I know how to change my own oil, replace a flat, and that's about it. I relied on Yamada to do my maintenance after I banged it up, and I've never really gotten a chance to learn about what's inside."
"So you want to become a mechanic?" her companion extrapolated, turning a thoughtful eye on her. "I could see you enjoying yourself covered in grease."
Natsuki had learned long ago to try and find compliments in what Nao said; after all, if she wanted to insult you, she was rarely ambiguous about it. "Thanks. So… what about you?"
Nao's expression conveyed a silent question, 'Is that a joke?', but as Natsuki stared at her impassively, the younger girl appeared to seriously contemplate the question. "I've never really thought about it. I suppose that what Mama does is pretty amazing. You see the best and the worst of the people in the world; whenever anyone does something stupid enough to get themselves torn up, they come crying to you. No matter how rich or how poor, they'll all put their life in your hands, and you get to make them better."
The thought of Nao as a nurse practitioner like Kaori was frankly terrifying, but it was all Natsuki had to go on. "See? You do actually have a measure of respect for something besides revenge."
"Respect is a bit strong of a word." Nao drawled.
"Besides... I could see you enjoying yourself covered in someone's blood." Natsuki smirked, mirroring her counterpart's previous observation.
Nao looked mildly amused. "You give me too much credit. Now that we've made some progress in this inquisition of yours, would you be so kind as to pour me another shot?"
"Only if you call Kaori and let her know you're safe."
"I was planning on it anyway, but give me my shot first."
Natsuki grudgingly obliged, not wanting to see Nao hurt herself. The alcohol was already affecting her balance, and Nao had been matching her shot for shot without anywhere near the same tolerance. Not for the first time tonight, Natsuki wondered if letting Nao get drunk had been a good idea, but there was little to be done at this point.
Nao made her way over to the phone, clumsily pressing her familiar home phone number. Her mother was awake, as Natsuki had suggested, but she sounded suspiciously unsurprised at the turn of events, Nao noted. After the phone call, they both migrated to the couch, putting in a movie. They were nearing the end of Natsuki's movie collection, and now were mostly going through the dredges of what she had bought over the years. The last few had been watchable for Nao purely because their poor production values had been laughable, but that was getting old fast. Nao caught the opening scene of the movie and couldn't even managed to smile at the terrible acting. The alcohol was making her head spin, though it also gave her a warm sensation in her stomach that made her feel strangely giddy. She slumped down in her seat, snuggling against Natsuki's shoulder. The older girl shifted slightly but didn't object, and Nao felt a blush spread to her cheeks, enjoying the closeness. She had enough sense left to realize it would be bad to be seen blushing, if only because the older girl would tease her about it mercilessly, so she took steady, deep breaths, trying to will the heat out of her cheeks. On the screen, a freakish amalgam of body parts rose to life from a metal slab to the sound of peals of thunder and maniacal laughter. Nao tried to think of something to say to take her mind off the disaster of a movie. "Um... Mama said 'hi'." she slurred belatedly.
Without taking her eyes off the movie, Natsuki nodded. "That's nice of her. I should probably send her a card or something, to apologize for my part in destroying her kitchen, dispite it being not my fault."
Nao knew she was being baited, but an argument was better than actually watching this movie. "Hey. I told you that cracking that egg down your shirt was an accident. It's not my fault you retaliated against me for a genuine mistake."
"Hah. Like anything you ever do is genuine."
Ouch. She has me there... "It was!" Nao lied. She poke Natsuki in the side for emphasis, and was rewarded with a squeak from the older girl.
"Honestly..." Natsuki muttered, casually bopping Nao on the head in response. "Such rudeness... what would Kaori think if she knew she raised such an ill-mannered daughter?" she sighed rhetorically.
"Is that a threat?" Nao returned. "You would try to drive a wedge between a girl and her mother?"
"Maybe I think she doesn't deserve what you put her through."
That hurt, mostly because it hit too close to home. The alcohol had taken away what few restraints Nao normally had, so she fired back, "You're just jealous because I actually have a mother."
Natsuki's previously playful banter had a hard edge. "Shut up. Maybe I am jealous, but what gives you the right to say something like that? I loved my mother... I had just as much right to get my mother back as you, but instead..." Natsuki trailed off.
Nao met Natsuki's eyes, words tumbling out before she could stop them. "You had your chance, Natsuki. You had your god damn chance. Every one of the HiME got someone returned to them... all of us except you and your damn Kaichou-sama. You think I haven't wondered why?" She watched Natsuki's reaction with a sinking feeling in the bottom of her stomach, but somehow she plowed on, getting out all of the negative thoughts that had been dwelling inside of her ever since Natsuki's aborted summery of the events of the Festival. "I always knew who I cared about... and when the Director came to me and told me she would set everything right, and that my sacrifice wasn't in vain... I knew who would end up in my arms. Can you say the same?" Natsuki bit her lip, her brow furrowed. "No." Nao answered for her. "No, you can't. So don't talk to me about 'love' and 'rights'. Don't even try."
Natsuki's face contorted in a very real anger. "You... you have no idea what you're talking about."
"Don't I? Maybe that's because you're too scared to admit to me what actually happened that day!"
"Do you really want to know?" Natsuki's eyes flared. "I left you lying on the ruins of that building to go hunt down Shizuru and stop her before she killed anyone else. She... she wasn't in her right state of mind, and I just wanted... I wanted to stop her from doing more things that she would regret." Her story slowed from its early frantic pace, and Natsuki actually seemed to calm as she related it. "I ambushed her at school, and we fought. I knew by then that... Shizuru meant a lot to me. She still does." Nao almost shuddered at those words, but Natsuki brought up a hand to pacify her. "Don't misunderstand. See, when I was younger, I was a lot like you... so filled with hate I couldn't see the truly important things in life. But I always had Shizuru with me, keeping me in check, making sure that I stayed sane. She provided me with the strength I needed to keep at my goal, and made sure I didn't end up like you."
Nao snorted. "Like me, huh." She wanted to be more upset at a statement like that, but Natsuki's explanation actually made sense, as much as Nao was loathe to admit it. In a lot of ways, Shizuru had given strength to Natsuki the same way that Natsuki now gave strength to Nao. The implications of that thought frightened her.
Natsuki blew a stream of air between pursed lips to calm herself before continuing. "And when I finally realized how important she was to me, it gave me the strength I needed to defeat her."
It was a relieving to finally hear the end of that story, rather than to have it left up to her imagination. "That's it?"
"That's it." Natsuki confirmed, though there was a trace of guilt in her eyes.
Nao seized upon that, frowning. "What a rotten climax. You guys didn't even end up making out or anything?" she drawled sarcastically. She watched a flicker of panic flash across Natsuki's features, and Nao bolted upright. "You did, didn't you!"
"No!" Natsuki shouted back. "It's not like that." She turned away remorsefully. "I just... I know she has feelings for me... feelings I can never return. I just... gave her a quick peck, in thanks for everything she did."
A welling of jealousy flared inside of Nao, her eyes a smoldering jade. "I can't believe that she..."
Natsuki looked back, her expression worried. "Don't... don't take it like that. It's just..."
"I'm just angry she's had something I haven't."
The implications of such a rash admission play over Natsuki's face, and Nao's head swam as she realized what she had just said. Natsuki's strangled voice sounded as though it came from the end of a long hallway by the time it reached her ears. "... what?"
Nao pressed down her worry and fears. Any inhibitions were drowned out by the low buzzing of intoxication, and then Nao was acting on impulse. "You heard me. How fair is it that she's kissed you and I haven't?"
Natsuki was still struggling to process everything. "Why do you even care?"
The question was ignored, and Nao rose from the couch briefly, settling back down while straddling Natsuki with her knees on either side of the girl. She drew her hands up, tracing her fingers through the other girl's silky blue hair, letting the soft tresses fall through her fingers as she moved her hands up to Natsuki's head. Long fingernails, painted a brilliant crimson, traced delicate lines up smooth ivory cheeks. When her hands were behind the girl beneath her's head, she gently closed her grasp at the roots of her hair, gripping possessively and pulling the older girl in closer.
They stayed pressed together, their gazes meeting. Nao wasn't sure what she had expected to see in Natsuki's eyes. In her fantasies, many of which played out in a situation very much like this, those cool green eyes looked up at her with a fiery passion to match Nao's own. But now, the eyes before her were filled with uncertainty and confusion. She held her grip, feeling the warmth of Natsuki's body against her own, exalting in the sensation. Before her resolve could falter, she lowered her lips down, pressing them into a kiss.
-----
Natsuki felt dizzy, so dizzy that the room seemed to be swaying worse than a ship in a storm. A creature named desire twisted in her gut, dredging up emotions long buried under layers of denial. The kiss was electric. Nao's moist lips were sending pulses of energy down her body, tingling to the ends of her every extremity. It felt good, so good she felt herself drowning in the kiss, suffocating under the pressure of Nao mouth bearing down upon her. And before she knew it, she had her arms wrapped around Nao's shoulders, drawing the younger girl down into the embrace as fiercely as she could.
A warning rumbled in the back of her mind... as badly as she wanted this, she knew something was about to go wrong. And then finally it connected... all of her repression and fear of intimacy managing to boil up through the thick haze of intoxication, and a massive wave of panic washed over Natsuki. She thrust her hands out before her, catching the unsuspecting redhead straight in the chest, sending her hurting backwards through the air for a short distance before she went sprawling onto the ground. Natsuki heard a hard thump as Nao's head smacked into the floor, rolling another half of a rotation from the force of the push and coming to a stop.
There was a stunned silence, and then Nao propped herself up, holding the back of her head tenderly. Her expression was a combination of physical and emotional pain, confusion, fear, sadness and rage.
Natsuki rose, averting her eyes. "I... I can't."
Nao forced words out through gritted teeth. "You can't what?"
Unable to articulate it, Natsuki only shook her head, her eyes narrowed slits. "I'm going for a walk." She only made it a few steps before a still prostrate Nao had lunged forward, grabbing her by the foot. Natsuki looked down at the younger girl's face, her expression of pure desperation lit by the flickering glow of the television. "Let go of me." She made no move to comply, so Natsuki jerked her foot out of the girl's grasp and made her way towards the exit.
"Don't walk away, Natsuki. Don't..." Nao's voice cracked as she rose to a kneeling position, approaching something like a plea for mercy. "Don't leave me."
Natsuki stood stoically in the doorway, silhouetted by the hallway light. Her voice was colder than ice. "I'm sorry. But right now, I need to be alone."
And then she was gone.
And for the first time in a very long time, Nao began to cry for what she had lost.
-----
"Would you like some more tea, Fujino-sama?"
The voice surprised Shizuru, jolting her out of the reverie she had slipped into while staring at the clouds which the Fujino family's private jet was currently blasting over at thirty five thousand feet. Even though the voice had startled her, Shizuru's face had not betrayed even a flicker of emotion. She turned towards the stewardess, a polite smile coming to her face. "No, Akiko-san... I've had enough."
The elderly woman bowed to her, taking the empty teacup and saucer. "The captain informs me we are fifteen minutes away from the landing strip at Fuuka. I thought you would want to know."
"Thank you." she intoned in response, turning back to the clouds. Surely enough, the plane tilted into a decline, preparing for their landing. Shizuru felt a gnawing sensation in her stomach, a sense of worry she hadn't felt since the Festival. Ever since she had risked spelling out her feelings in their weekly letters, Natsuki's responses had abruptly stopped. No matter what explanation she tried to think of, there was little way to interpret that besides a rejection. Shizuru had regretted her boldness a thousand times in the last two weeks, but in all honestly, the endless wondering if Natsuki would ever change her mind was an even greater torture. She had to know the truth... no matter what it was. She had to see Natsuki's face before she would believe anything, good or bad.
As badly as she wanted to see Natsuki, fate had not been kind to her. Shizuru's college back in Kyoto had let out over a week ago for summer break, but family obligations had kept her at home, a slave to her filial responsibilities. She had followed her father around dutifully, wearing the proper kimonos and sitting beside her mother in the seiza position for hours while her father's business partners remarked on how perfect of a daughter he had as they drank sake. And even as she made conversation with people about flower arrangements, tea ceremonies and everything else she had been raised to be perfect for, she still couldn't stop thinking about Natsuki.
Only after enduring seven terrible days of waiting and enduring her social obligations, was she finally allowed to make the flight back to Fuuka. And even as she looked forward to her return to her alma mater, there was still a growing dread.
"Natsuki..." she breathed, her breath fogging the glass of the small window porthole. "Soon... I can see you again. I only hope you want to see me too."
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Judging from the mail and comments I've gotten, something like fifty percent of the people who are reading this fic feel like traitors to their true love, the Natsuki/Shizuru pairing. I don't know how well you guys and gals are going to fare through the angsty section of the story, but I'll just leave you with the promise that there /is/ a light at the end of the tunnel for everyone, I promise. And no... I don't dislike Shizuru (how could you accuse me of hating the beloved Kaichou-sama?). Nao, however, does, and I'm often writing from her perspective. There is a difference.