Someone was in the room. Cristina was half conscious, her forehead covered by her arm. She wanted to move, but her muscles were not under her command.
The burning sensation behind her eyelids was killing her. The longer she tried to hold back her tears, the more acute the pain became. The eyes could only hold that many tears, the heart could only be broken that many times in a lifetime. Then at one point, warm tears began rolling down her cheeks—but those were not her tears.
Were they his tears? Burke was a man who would never cry.
Dr. Hahn came to operate on George's father and spared Burke from a potential blunder at work. Except for George's suspicion and the Chief's silent agreement to let Burke take another leave, nobody knew what they had been up to. He had lost nothing, and had nothing to lose. Why should he cry instead of her?
"I am sorry, Cristina. I am so sorry."
She heard him whisper. Repeatedly. Like a jammed CD.
Instinctively, she turned on the light. The light blinded them.
Once her eyes had adapted to the light, she saw Burke drenched in rain. Without acknowledging what he said, Cristina's hand sprang up to touch the collar of his sweatshirt.
"You'll get pneumonia…" She hated herself for caring about him. She was the one who needed to be taken care. There was nothing more she could give.
"Cristina, forgive me," He tried to touch her but she flinched away.
He thought she was going to leave when she walked towards the door. Instead, she pulled out a huge bath towel from the cabinet by the door and threw it over him. She refused to say another word to him. She was not in the right state of mind to say anything. But when she saw him shiver, she wanted to go and hold him.
With much willpower, she kept at a distance from him and watched.
Burke had not been in that much pain before. He knew she was not going to forgive him. Strangely, the emotion he saw in her eyes wasn't that of distain or coldness. There was no hate. He couldn't figure out what it was.
"I think this is the end of it," Cristina looked to the ground. "We're not a team. We're not a couple anymore."
Burke was quiet. He no longer needed to expect the worst, for it had already happened. He wished he could put on a proud face and walk away. But he couldn't.
"Maybe we're not meant to be together. We each have too much baggage with us. It just isn't realistic anymore." Cristina tried to keep speaking unemotionally.
"You tried. I tried, Yes, Burke, you might not have noticed, but I tried."
"I will try harder."
"It's not about you, Burke. It's the timing, the situation, our roles. We crossed too many lines. This is not going to work anymore." Cristina was shaking. Part of her was reluctant to accept what she just said.
"You can't just end it this way." Burke tried to conceal the frustration in him. "We've only just begun to know each other better."
"And the more I know, the more I see us as incompatible." Cristina spoke slowly. Every word was an effort. "We're too old to change. I will never be the perfect woman you want. We'll keep pushing each other until we fall down the cliff."
She was becoming more determined to break it off now. She couldn't bear to see him hurt. Her eyes were glued to the ground as she spoke.
Then, all of a sudden, she smiled.