I looked up from the paper to Spot, then back down again. I looked back up, then looked back down. I looked back up at Spot.
"You want me to do what?"
He lifted his hands up into the air, he looked quite annoyed at that moment. Ok here's a recap from the last hour and a half.
I finished Mission Castration...But I wasn't able to hurt the guys, Jack made me get dressed. I left the Lodging house, Saying bye to Kloppman on my way. Nice guy Kloppman is. Then went on my way towards the Distribution Office, nothing going wrong. Everything peaceful and quiet.
I would like to say that happened except it didn't happen that way. I had started the other direction, away from the DO, and Monkey and Lover tried calling me back. I pretended like I didn't hear them, and kept walking. When all of a sudden, I get pulled into and alley and pushed up onto someone's shoulder. The first thought that came to my head was, 'Oh my god its Barney and he's come to rape me!' But I looked at the dudes skin and saw he wasn't purple. Just tan.
That someone walked out of the alleyway and towards the DO. Of course I tried to kick and scream, but that somebody didn't even do anything about. This guy musta been really strong, cause when I hit. I hit Hard.
So, we get to the DO and the someone lets me down off his shoulder. And guess who it is. That's right, it was Spot. I scowl at him and he smirks. I wonder if his can get even smirkier like Jacks. And it does, probably just to piss me off some more. He pushes me up to get my papers. I give an evil grin to Oscar and Morris, the guys who beat me and my two friends upon arrival.
And the rest from there is history, because all we did was yell out headlines like we were supposed to be doing. Spot might have made a few passes at me, but I slapped him back into place. Not literally, but verbally. Hello, who would have the guts to slap Spot Conlon. I would...But I don't think anybody else would.
Ok so back to the present. "Can you please repeat what you just said." I bet I had my mouth wide open, and a scared expression on my face. You've gotta know what he said for me to act like that.
"Would ya mind actin like your my girl for a little while? Just till we pass the school."
Yes ladies and Gentlemen, Spot Conlon just asked me to be his girlfriend. And ya know what, I started laughing so hard that tears were running down my face.
"Y-you want m-me to be y-your g-g-g-girlfriend." By this point I was down on the street, holding onto my stomach. It felt like it was gonna blow, just incase you didn't understand why I was holding it.
"What's so funny about that?" Ok he didn't look annoyed now, he just looked irritated. "Any girl would kill themselves just to go out on one date with me."
I stopped laughing, enough to pick myself up off the ground and stare at Spot. "You know what, I have no clue what I'm laughing at. But I wouldn't kill myself to go on a date with you. I'd rather kill myself to not go on a date with you...No wait scratch that...I'd rather kill myself to not go on a date with a Flying Monkey. No wait now scratch that thought, I'd wanna go on a date with a flying Monkey. That'd be awesome!"
I stopped my fantasy with Flying Monkey's when I notice Spot looking highly amused and confused. "Oh sorry, anyways. What do I need to go out with you for?"
Ooo...His face just turned pink. I wonder shade of deep red it could go.
"There's this girl, and she won't stop flirting with me a-"
"I thought you liked girls flirting with you?"
"Not this one. So stop interrupting. And she won't leave me alone. She's kinda stalking me everyday. Except on school days, she's always gone till after school gets out. She's started sending things to the Lodgin house, and its kinda freakin me out."
I put a finger to my chin. "Hmmmm...Let me think of a way for her to stop stalking you. Give me a minute."
He looked awfully hopeful at that statement.
"Yep I got nothin."
His face turned crestfallen. "But I guess I can be your girlfriend till we pass the school."
Ok that grin is starting to scare me. "Spot?"
"Yeah?"
"Don't grin like that."
"Why?"
"Cause its fricken freakin out your girlfriend here."
"My who...Oh yeah sorry. Forgot there for a second."
Did anybody else know that Spot only had an attention span of a five year old. If you did, please raise your hand... Yeah I'm only counting a few here. Not including me. Wait...Yes including me because I just found out.
"Spot?"
"Spot?"
"Spot?"
"Spot?"
"Spot?"
"God Dammit Spot would you answer me already!"
"What?"
"Have we passed the school yet?"
"No."
"Then can you let go of my hand till we actually reach the school?"
"No."
"Why not?"
"This girl has got spies everywhere. Spying on me of every minute of every day. So I'm gonna hold your hand till we reach Tibby's."
Ya know, being dragged around the city by Spot Conlon wasn't so bad. Except for the part where he insisted to hold my hand till death do us part. I'm serious too. Ever since I agreed to this deal, he's had my hand locked up into his, I think he even threw away the key. Lucky me! You know that was sarcasm right? Ok just checking.
And finally when the school came into view, I think I squealed because Spot looked over at me funny. "Just like I say to Jack and Race, Don't look at me like that. That's just the way I am. And now that I'm your girlfriend, you have to live with it."
I think he faced paled at my words. This is going to be so much fun!
As soon as we get to the edge of the School grounds, Spot starts to act all nervous. "Awww, don't worry Spot, I'll protect you from the mean old little girl." He looked some what relieved. I think he knows that I could just annoy her to death by my words.
As it turns out, it was lunch time for the kids. Sooo...That means there were kids everywhere.
I was kinda intimidated by all of them, I mean, they were educated... Why am I intimidated again, I'm educated in my own time. What the hell am I thinking.
I watched as a group of girls came out of the school, there were about six. And I think Spot just about died when he saw them.
His face had paled considerably, and his palm got all moist. That was kinda gross.
I leaned in next to his ear and whispered, "Which one?"
He gave a small jerky motion to the girl in front. And holy shit, it was a 19th century Bimbo. Yay, I just used my very fabulous word for boyfriend stealing jerks. Yes, Jerks. If she were living in 2006, she would have a short skirt, low top, high heels, and tons of makeup. Now all I need for her to do is squeal like Candy and we'll have a replica. (Candy is from the first story.)
"What's her name?"
"Sandy."
Yay, we've even got the rhyming thing goin on, Candy, Mandy (The bimbo who stole Jared away from me.) and Sandy. "Can I name her Barbie?"
The corner of his mouth lifted up slightly. Yay again, my joke got him to lighten up a bit.
But I could totally see why he would not like her flirting with him. Just to put it straight, she looked like a Barbie Whore. That's why I'm naming her Barbie.
And just at that moment, Sandy looked over to us, as if she had a spot radar. And guess what she did. She smiled flirtatiously towards Spot, then gave a really mean glare towards me. Ok that is one scary girl.
"Spot," that came out kinda soft.
"Yeah," he said more nervous then before. Especially since Sandy and her cronies were slowly making their way towards us.
"Your gonna have to deal with her yourself. She's really scaring me right now."
"What no! Please don't leave me alone with her." He turned to me looking horrified.
"I'm not leaving, I'm just gonna be hiding...Behind you!" At that, I jumped behind Spot and put my forehead against his back. Yeah I'm scared shitless right about now. I can take on Candy or Mandy, but that was because I didn't have a nervous boyfriend with me, I had more then two people backing me up. And I had materials from the 21st century with me. Or else I would totally kick Sandy's ass. But for right now, Spots on his own.
I looked over Spots shoulder, and saw the group getting closer. I put my hands on his hips and whispered, "Don't worry, I'll still help. Just try to talk normally, or else she'll think you really like her."
"O-ok I can do that."
Good boy. Now all we have to do is... RUN FOR OUR LIVES!!!
"Hey Guys what are you doing here?"
Saved by the DAVID!! David stepped in front of us, noticing how I was standing behind Spot, looking over his shoulder. "What are you doing?"
I quickly looked over Spots shoulder before answering, and saw that the group of girls stopped in their tracks stumbling at how David just interrupted them coming over. "Oh thank God David, I think I just fell in love!"
Not literally, of course. I mean, I've gotta be a good girlfriend to Spot.
"Huh?" I think I just scared off David.
"What she means is," Spot started, his eyes darting to the group, then back to David, who was waiting for an explanation about my outburst. "You just saved us from being Flirt attacked and verbally abused, by a girl who is stalking me."
David learned fast, he turned straight towards Sandy and her group. "Oh yeah, I don't really like them either. But why is Ma clutching you like a life line?"
Good question there David, keep Spot talking, make him less nervous. "Its because she's scaring the hell outta me. Has her glare been sent your way. Probably not, because your not Spots Girlfriend!"
Oops, I think I said that a little too loud. Sandy gave out an Angry cry, and marched right over to us. "Your his WHAT!?"
I ducked back down behind Spot, and poked him in the back. Do something already Spot. "She's my Girl." Good, good...Like she'll actually believe that!
She started stuttering, "B-but I-I thought I was your girl?"
Spot shook his head, "No...You thought that up all by your self. I never said you were my girl."
She exploded. And David was now standing next to me, looks like he's also scared of Sandy.
"But she's not even Pretty!"
I stood up to my full height, which was actually two inches shorter then Spot, and looked over his shoulder again. This time my chin reaching his shoulder instead of my eyes. "HEY!! I am too Pretty. For your information I look a hell of a lot better then you! You just look like Bimbo'd Barbie Whore!"
I think I made her angry. She launched herself at me. Actually, she launched herself at Spot, but at the right moment Spot jumped off to the side, taking me with him. Making Sandy land in a big Mud pile. I think I saw steam coming off the mud, and the brown icky stuff boiling.
"Spot?"
"Yeah?"
"I think now is a great time to run like Hell!"
"Yeah that would be a great idea."
We both took of running. "Bye David, see you later! Say hi to Les for me!"
I'm going to rephrase something I said earlier about having Spot Conlon drag you around the city not being so bad. It is when your running and Spot once again has your hand locked into his. We were running so fast that I couldn't breath.
But hey, I made the world have one less dirty person by cleaning off a Bimbo'd Barbie Whore. Monkey and Lover will be so proud.
Don't forget to review, and since nobody had reviewed for the last chapter yet, There was no explaining as to the Foreshadowing in the last chapters Authors Note. Oh well, still review. And don't forget, at least somebody will love you for taking the time to type a few words.