Guys, I am totally sorry that I haven't posted in a looooong while. It has something to do with the work I've done with my parents. And then being sick for the past week. I got a writer's block because I was sick. Again, sorry I haven't updated. But I promise I will try to get them up faster then...well, then this one. But I'm still sick, so I might get a little writer's block again.

Just don't hurt me and I think I'll live. Anyways, on to todays chapter!

Just one Disclaimer first: I do not own South Park

Three days since we've last seen Monkey. THREE DAYS! I'm about ready to jump of off the LH fire escape. But someone (Bumlets and Dutchy) had to go and tie me to my bed, leaving me to wilt in my misery alone.

Actually, I wasn't really alone in this. Lover was just about ready to go insane from not having Monkey by his side. Me and Him always relied on Monkey to be our brains for us. And now that he was gone...We were completely clueless.

Well...Not totally clueless, but just about there. Yesterday Lover tried to eat a stray kitten that we found in an alley. Jack caught him before he actually took a bite out of the poor things left leg. I took the kitten into my care, and named him Boomer. ( I have a cat named Boomer.) He was orange all over his body except for his chest, front feet, and back legs. His fur was long hair, and he had golden eyes. (Boomer looks exactly like that too.)

Spot got slightly angry at me for bringing home a stray, but the memory of Monkey being kidnapped was still fresh on my mind. So he didn't yell at me, just picked up the kitten and examined it. When he was finished, he put the cats face near his and stared at him. It looked like a staring contest was going on, and I so wanted to join at that point.

But then Boomer licked Spot's nose softly and Spot smiled.

Over the next four days, Boomer and Spot kept me sane. Boomer by keeping me company, and kinda acting like Monkey a little. Spot, by letting me call him a dog, so I could have a cat and a dog. Get it? I don't really either. I think Spot just let me call him a puppy because I was slowly going crazy, and because puppies are cute...So that must mean he thinks he's cute. Yeppers.

By the time a week had past, and Monkey was still missing, and both Lover and myself started searching neighboring turfs. Jack and Spot were with us of course. Do you actually think I'm that stupid? Well... Racetrack does, but I wasn't asking him...You do too?...That's ok, I think I'm kinda stupid sometimes myself. Especially when Myself is included in the conversation.

We had started out with Harlem. Getting to know a few of the Newises, and asking them to take us to their leader. That's what Lover said. "Hello Earthling, take us to your leader."

It scared the poor kid who was escorting us. But I envy him. He got to meet the Martians, which was Lover, Spot, Jack and me...but that would have been cool to meet an alien. Wait...Maybe not, cause maybe the aliens look like Sandy. SCARY!

We searched all surrounding turfs and still no Monkey. And finally we were getting to Queens, the place where he should have been kidnapped to. This should be the place where Monkey is being kept.

And we did in fact find out where Monkey was being kept...Because he was singing Cruella De Ville. The song from 100 Dalmatians...or was it 101. Either way he was singing it. The four of us turf searchers pushed up to the window where he was being held prisoner.

Had to search at least five of them before we actually found him. And I am now on Jack shoulders, who is standing on a garbage can, looking into a window that had bars going diagonally across the open space. And there he was. In all his glory, his voice perfectly on tune, and his clothes absolutely clea-.

"Dude! What the hell have they done to you!" Yeah, that was totally me.

Monkey looked up from his place on the dirty rat infested floor. His clothes were all muddy and ripped. His hair was caked in mud and what looked like blood. His voice was actually cracking, and he looked thinner then the week before. Oh, and did I mention the rat infested floor that was covered in rat feces. Gross!

"MA!" He jumped up from where he was sitting and ran over to the window. He pulled his arms through the bars and almost strangled me by roughly pulling my shoulders towards the window. Ya know, I never knew my head could actually fit through bars...Until now that is.

"Would you let me go Monk, my heads gonna be as thin as a pole."

Monkey let me go, apologized, and then looked like he was thanking the lord.

I looked at his chest, which I could see through the ripped shirt, and gave a sound of disgust. I could see his ribs poking out of his skin.

"Are they feeding you Orange?" Man, I haven't heard his real name in a very long time, but the time has called for it. I mean, if you were in my place, you would have acted all motherly and be just about ready to open a can of whoop ass on someone.

He solemnly shook his head, "Do you got any food?"

I softly yelled down the other two free boys, since Jack was under me...That didn't sound right. Sorry! Lover threw up a loaf of bread, and then Spot handed a glass bottle of water to Jack, who then handed it to me.

I gave the items to Monkey, and he immediately tore into them. "Eat slowly Mon, you'll make yourself sick."

When he was finished he sat close to the window. "Their was another kid in here with me. He was wearing an orange coat thingy, and I couldn't understand him cause the coat was up around his mouth. A few days ago, they took him outta here kicking and screaming...I haven't seen him since."

I gasped. "They killed Kenny, you bastards!"

Monkey gave a small grin. I rubbed his shoulder, "Don't worry Mon, we'll get you outta here real soon. And when we do, you'll get a nice warm, well, semi warm, bath. A nice warm meal to eat from Tibby's. And you'll probably have to share a bunk with Lover."

"Why would I have to share a bunk with Lover?"

"Because he's never gonna wanna let you loose ever again. I mean, he tried to eat a cat the other day. He's going crazy without you. I'm going crazy also, but just not at that level. Well, I did try to make a slide off Spots bunk, and across the others towards the window. But it never worked out. Ember kept getting in the way, trying to make his own slide down my back."

Monkey gave a laugh, which was cut off as somebody opened the door to the room he was in. I gave a small squeak as this happened and fell backwards, trying to get a grip onto the bars of the window.

Yeah...That didn't work out too well. I kinda caused another small chain reaction. I fall backwards, which makes Jack fall backwards, which makes him land on concrete in alley way, back to me falling, which makes Spot catch me, which makes Spot fall backwards onto Lover, who tries to catch us, but manages to also fall backwards under our weight.

And can I say a few words.

That would have been fricken hilarious to watch if I was on the sidelines. I wonder if anybody saw that. Probably, and their dying of laughter right about now.

"Ow!" Maybe we should get off Lover now. I scramble off of Spot, and help him stand. Then look down at Lover, who's trying not to cringe.

"Do I look like a pancake right now?"

Both Spot and myself shake our heads. And I cautiously ask, "Why?"

"Because you guys weigh about as much as my Aunt Cathleen." His voice comes out all raspy. His Aunt Cathleen is one big lady. No offense to those with big Aunts And that's when I remembered we had one more person in our turf searching group.

I look down to my left, and there's Jack. Looking up at the slowly getting dark sky, and slowly blinking.

I lean over him, making his view of the sky disappear. "Are you ok Jack?"
His focus came back at that moment and he jumped up, "What in the hell were you thinking. Couldn't you have warned me!"

I put my arms over my head, shielding myself, "No sorry, someone just walked into the room and they surprised me. I was trying to get a nice firm leverage on the bars, but somebody," I forgot about shielding myself for the moment and poked Jack in the chest. "Also got surprised. Oh Yeah I could tell, because you were the one that fell backwards first, Mister Fall Backwards First!"

Its fun to blame other people.

By that time, he was pissed, and I was scared out of my wits. Why you ask? Because there's a shadow slowly moving towards us from the entrance of the alley. And it was getting dark, so all I saw was a humongous shape forming, disappearing in the shadows, and then reforming all the way until he was five feet from Jack's back. I have no clue what Spot or Lover were doing at this moment. Probably checking to see if Lover was not actually a pancake. But I totally wish they could see the look on my face to get the picture of a shadow person standing behind Jack.

"What's wrong?" Finally I think Jesus has spoken. A look of confusion crosses Jack's face as I point behind him.

"Babe, that's what's wrong." I whisper.

Ya know, I never actually thought to look behind me to see what Spot and Lover were doing. But I probably should have, because the next thing I remember, was pain. And somebody's stinky body odor filling up my nostrils.