1Lost it all

Chapter three: More to everyone

Rating: M

Summary: When Sanji makes the greatest sacrifice, can Zoro and the others cope? Without his hand, can Sanji even hope to continue his cooking...can he even continue living...? The least likely among the crew must help Sanji find himself, and in doing so...Save his own soul.

Disclaimer: Nope. No own.

A/N: Hehehe, I got a lot of encouragement from you guys so this is an official update! Lost will be a regular story of mine! Yay! OH! Also- this story WILL be yaoi! -cheers from all my reviewers- I don't think I got one review that didn't vote for yaoi. Hmm...fancy that...

(Oh, um, if this chapter seems...I dunno...odd, its because I am listening to a song called "Unbelievable" By Kaci Brown. Its good, an awfully good match for SxZ. I think)

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Reaching out his fingertips gently pushed the door open the slightest bit so he could peek in. His heart split in two when he saw the proud chef on his knees, his good arm reached up, fingers digging into the counter-top, while the other, wrapping in bandages save for the one cut that ran across his lower arm, which the blood from was slowly staining the sleeve of the shirt he was wearing.

However, that wasn't what scared Zoro the most. No, that wasn't it...As sad a sight that was, it wasn't what caused the horror to enter his eyes. No, it was the tears that streamed down the blonde's face, dripping off his chin in a steady stream, and the soft sobbing that came from his parted lips.

Zoro was frozen; he had no idea what to do in this situation. And so, he did the only thing he knew how to do. Run away.

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Zoro didn't know what to expect at dinner time. He wasn't sure he could face the other now, not after seeing what he had seen. It was one thing to see someone crying...It was entirely another to see someone crying, after you had just yelled at them.

But, he told himself, its not like Sanji knew he was there. He hadn't made a sound even when he ran off, leaving the door parted only slightly. Sanji wouldn't know, and the swordsman definitely wasn't going to actually tell him. He liked his brains where they were...and unscrambled.

In actuality, he wasn't sure if the blonde had even made their dinner. Zoro had especially veered away from the kitchen all day, and hadn't seen the cook ever since their incident earlier. Surely Luffy wasn't planning on having Sanji cook it all by himself? With only one hand?

He snorted, pushing open the doors, Its probably something simple, like a stew or something... His thoughts died right there when he saw what was laid out on the table for them to eat. Luffy looked up from where he was stuffing his face already, "Sumtin grong thoro?"

Having already learned to decode what he called 'Luffy talk' the green-haired man shook his head, "No, Im fine, Luffy...Just...surprised. Did Sanji make all of this himself?"

The captain swallowed, "Yup! Nami volunteered to help, but he wouldn't even let her go in the kitchen." He reached for another piece of smoked meat, obviously done with the conversation.The table was laden down with meat of every kind, ham, turkey, chicken, and sausage. There was plenty of seafood strewn around, as well as the mandatory vegetables, along with a large and fresh, judging by the smell, loaf of bread. Zoro stared in shock, his brain having to catch up and process all this information.

"Zoro?" Nami asked, "Are you all right? You look a little lost." She sipped from a cup of cider, her eyes looking at him in concern.

"No..." He took a few steps to sit down, "I just cant believe that dumb cook actually made all this. I figured he would have taken the easy way out and just complained about his hand, leaving us with some leftover stew or something like that. Its something that low-life would do.""Thats not very nice, Zoro." Nami murmured, handing him something to drink, "You know he did help you. At least you can be a little nicer. He is trying his hardest."

"Heh, who cares about being nice. Its not like I asked to be saved. He should have just minded his own business and left it alone. Its not like I would have done the same for him."

"Zoro!"

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Sanji let the door shut softly behind him as he retreated back into the kitchen, his eyes wide and his face pale. In his hand he held a plate that held all of the swordsman's favorite dishes. It was his way of apologizing for what he had done earlier.

But now...

I couldn't have heard that right...I couldn't. Is-Is that how he feels? Like I was just getting in the way? He backed up so far that he hit the wall, sliding down it as his knees gave way so that he sat on the floor, his slack hand holding loosely to the plate, his eyes glued to the closed door. Did I...did I do all that for nothing? Was I...was I wrong in judging him?

The plate fell, striking the floor and spilling its precious contents all over. But the blonde didn't care. Wouldn't care. He had wasted all day, working as hard as he could to make sure each crumb of the food he prepared was up to his usual standard...and beyond. He would prove to all of them he wasn't broken- that he could still be a useful member of their team.

No one came to investigate the noise, but then again, he hadn't really expected them too. Nobody cared where the cook was, as long as he did what he was supposed to do. He was like the very food he cooked, in a way, taken for granted. He had even cooked their last piece of cuttlefish for Zoro, to make up for his quick temper...It still didn't matter. It never would.

He had sacrificed his future for nothing- and now, he was just a burden to them. What good was a one-handed cook anyway? Even if he could manage to cook for their little crew with just one hand, that was all he could do. If they kept adding on more crew members, he would have no way to keep up with the eating demands. He was just one man, not a god. One thing was for sure, however, he wouldn't allow sympathy and let Luffy hire another cook.

That wasn't ever going to happen.

"Its not like I would have done the same for him." Zoro's voice and words cut a line straight through the other's heart, a physical burning in his chest. His hand came up to cover his eyes, clutch at his hair. He doesn't care. He never did. Why...why do I even try! It wont change anything- he'll always be the cold and heartless man I always thought he was.

The problem was that he had never thought the other cold, or heartless. If you had asked Sanji what word would best describe Zoro before their capture, he would have said 'annoying.' Ask him after, and after a moments hesitation, you'd get the same answer, but said in a softer and teasing tone of voice. Ask him now...

"Its not like I would have done the same for him."

"Darn you, Zoro." He hissed under his breath, holding his severed arm to his chest. "I hate you. I freaking hate you!"

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"That still doesn't justify your treatment of him, Zoro." Nami argued, setting her cup down with more force than was necessary, cider splashing her hand. "Luffy, tell him he's acting like a child!"

Luffy eyed her in silence for a moment before sighing. "Its not my job to get between them. This is something they need to work out on their own." His voice got a little deeper, and that innocent glint in his eyes faded. "However, if you cost me my cook, Zoro, Ill kill you."

The swordsman blinked at him before his lips curled up into a small smirk. "Of course not, captain. Wouldn't dream of it."

"Good." The pirate looked at Nami. "Now...Can I have that plate of meat?"

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"Here." A cup of steaming tea was set down in front of the shivering man, the steam rising off of it warming his face even as he turned to blink at the one who had given it to him.

"What were you doing in my kitchen?" Sanji asked, irritated. Its not like the other's weren't allowed in there, he was just irritated and needed to vent it out on someone.

Zoro was a good someone.

The swordsman snorted, crossing his arms and leaning back against the rail, whereas the cook's arms were crossed on the hard wood, his form slightly hunched over as he held the steaming mug between his icy hands. "Since when is it your kitchen?"

"Since I became the cook, or did you forget, swordsman?"

Zoro glared at him, "I do have a name you know, love-cook."

"Well, so do I." Sanji shot back, enjoying his little game of sarcastic wit. He was prepared for the next insult to come his way, but he wasn't ready, however, for the soft spoken question he received instead.

"What did you just say?"

Zoro hmphed, clicking his tongue against the roof of his mouth, "I said, what's bothering you?"

The blonde raised an eyebrow, taking a small sip of the tea. It was good, much to his growing agitation. "Why would anything be bothering me?"

"Sanji, you gave Luffy alcohol."

Sanji tried for calm and detached, and failed. He knew, perhaps better than anyone, it was not a good thing to give Monkey D. Luffy any strong liquor, but yet he had- and then had to stay up all night and tend to the hyper-active rubber man who kept trying to fly off the side of the ship. "You know my name. Im surprised, Zoro."

"Likewise." He muttered, leaning back on his elbows to stare up into the night sky. It was silent for a second, and then, "Hey, Sanji? Ever wonder what's really out there?"

He blinked, looking up as well. "What do you mean?"

"I mean we use the stars to help us at night...we take them for granted. Like they'll always be there, no matter what." He stopped to run a hand through his short hair. "But, one day they might not be here...and I wonder, if we'll ever miss them when they're gone. We don't even know if there's something up there, something more than what we see with our eyes."

Sanji took another sip, his mind mulling over what the other had said, trying to figure out how that fit in with his earlier question, and froze, his mouth opened in an expression of surprise. "I..."

Zoro turned so he could look at the other fully. "There is something more in everyone, don't you think, Sanji?"

Sanji smiled, a true smile that made his face light up. "Thank you, swordsman."

Zoro just shook his head with a grin, "You ever mention this to anyone and I'll wring your neck, cook."

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Ha! And yes, the weird markers and italics mean a flashback. Hehehe, as if you couldn't figure that out! Hehehehehehehe... a lot of Sanji angst in that one, plus a little Zoro and Sanji friendship/lover thingies...oi. This was fun.

Anywhoo, go and click that little button on the bottom left of your screen that says submit review. K? Kay!