Lost it all

Chapter four: Consequences

Rating: M

Summary: When Sanji makes the greatest sacrifice, can Zoro and the others cope? Without his hand, can Sanji even hope to continue his cooking...can he even continue living...? The least likely among the crew must help Sanji find himself, and in doing so...Save his own soul.

Disclaimer: Nope. No own.

A/N: Hehehe, I got a lot of encouragement from you guys so this is an official update! Lost will be a regular story of mine! Yay! OH! Also- this story WILL be yaoi! -cheers from all my reviewers-

(Sorry for the long wait, I was stuck on 'For Brooklyn' my Newsies fanfic)

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"That still doesn't justify your treatment of him, Zoro." Nami argued, setting her cup down with more force than was necessary, cider splashing her hand. "Luffy, tell him he's acting like a child!"

Luffy eyed her in silence for a moment before sighing. "Its not my job to get between them. This is something they need to work out on their own." His voice got a little deeper, and that innocent glint in his eyes faded. "However, if you cost me my cook, Zoro, Ill kill you."

The swordsman blinked at him before his lips curled up into a small smirk. "Of course not, captain. Wouldn't dream of it."

"Good." The pirate looked at Nami. "Now...Can I have that plate of meat?"

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Sanji didn't come out of the kitchen until he was sure there wasn't going to be anyone awake. Wiping at his eyes he finished straightening up the table and put the clean dishes away in the cabinet. It would be a lie to say he was over what he had heard, what he had heard Zoro say.

He would never be over it.

But why did it matter? They were crewmates, yes, he couldn't do much about that since they were in the middle of the freaking ocean, but nakama?

Not anymore.

He cursed at himself as a tear slid down his face. He didnt care! He DIDNT! He wouldn't care if the swordsman picked up one of his swords and stabbed it through his heart. HE DIDNT CARE ANYMORE. Not about Zoro.

Then why did I save him?

That was the million dollar question, wasn't it?

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Zoro lay in his bunk, staring up at the ceiling with a pained look on his face. The longer he had to think about what he had said, the more he wanted to kill himself. How could he do that? Sanji had saved his life, and how had he repaid him?

"Heh, who cares about being nice. Its not like I asked to be saved. He should have just minded his own business and left it alone. Its not like I would have done the same for him."

He bit his tongue and squeezed his eyes shut. 'Go away, memory! Just GO AWAY!' His mind screamed, 'Leave me BE!'

"Its not like I would have done the same for him."

But he would have. He would have let them cut off both of his arms if it meant sparing Sanji the pain he was going through. He would have done it in a heartbeat. No questions asked, no second thoughts.

Then why...why couldn't he just say that?

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Morning came too soon for both men.

Sanji groaned as he rolled out of his hammock, feet hitting the cold floor. Biting back a yelp he danced to where his shoes were, slipping them on. Why was it so cold? They must have drifted into colder waters overnight, that was all.

Leaning over he poked at the fire until it blazed up again, sending warmth flooding into the kitchen, heating him up as he flowed around the room, pulling things off of shelves, getting the bowls out of the cabinets.

A nice bowl of hot cereal would do everyone some good.

The cooking almost made him forget about last night. Almost.

Zoro, however, wasn't as lucky. He was training, yes, and that got his mind off of it all a little, but the truth was he found no joy in the weights, no joy as he slid across the deck, his swords a blur.

Frowning, he did the exercises again, trying to smile, trying to become one with his katanas like he always did, searching desperately to find a way to escape it all.

There was no joy to be found in his art. And he knew why.

It was all that darn cook's fault.

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Sanji slipped.

His hand reaching out on instinct, he managed to grab a hold of the counter, halting his frantic movements a little, but he hadn't been watching where he was going and ended up hitting the other patch of oil with his foot.

He went down without even a squeak, knocking things off of the table, landing on his leg the wrong way. There was a crack and he yelled, half-in surprise and half-in anger.

He had hurt himself; could feel that whatever he had done to his leg would take a bit too heal. His crewmates, hearing the crash, all came running, demanding to know what had happened as Chopper took a look at his leg.

He slammed his fist into a cabinet, cursing at the top of his lungs as he pulled his legs to his chest. He couldn't take this anymore. What was the point in him living anyway? No one wanted him, if he had fallen on a knife, who would care?

Not Zoro, that was for sure. He hadn't even come to see what had happened.

Hot tears slid down his face and he burrowed his face in his hands. He hated to cry, especially in front of his nakama, but he couldn't help it. There was so much anger, so much pain that he had bottled up inside of him, so much he was drowning in it.

Luffy looked over at Nami with a serious expression on his face. For once, Luffy looked like the true pirate captain he was, and not like an annoying child. "Nami."

"Yes, captain?" She knew something was wrong, just by the way he had said her name.

"Go get Zoro, tell him to meet me on deck."

Sanji raised his head a little, just enough so he could see Luffy's face. What was he going to do? He tried to get up, but the minute he put any weight on his leg it collapsed and he went down, a startled cry slipping past his lips.

Chopper helped him sit back down, his words barely registering. Sanji was stricken, his hand...and now his leg...

"Sanji, you have to take it easy, all right? You cant go walking around right now. Your leg's broken."

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Zoro walked up the stairs to the main deck, his heart thumping when he saw Luffy standing there alone, back to him, hands braced on the railing. There was a rope tied close to his hand, knotted there.

Tethering something.

"Captain...?" He asked, walking to him even though every part of his body told him to walk away, warned him something wasn't right. "Luff-"

A second later he was on his back, blood flying from his mouth. Eyes wide in shock, his hand moved across his stomach, gasping for air. Luffy had hit him. LUFFY had HIT him.

Luffy threw something at his feet. It was his pack.

His eyes traveled up those shorts, came to rest on his captain's angry face. "Captain, I...I don't understand..."

"Get out of here, Zoro. I don't ever want to see your face again."

'He...He's throwing me out...?'

"You're not a member of this crew anymore, Roronoa Zoro. NOW GET OFF MY SHIP!" Each word was yelled, each word cut deeply into the swordsman's heart, tearing it, ripping it.

There was only one thing to do.

His hands shaking he threw his pack over his shoulder and made his way to the rope, looking down to see a small boat floating on the water. He threw his legs over the edge, not wanting to look back, but he had to.

He wasn't there, but then again...why had he expected him to be?

Zoro swallowed the lump in his throat.

'Good-Bye, Sanji.'

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A bit shorter, im sorry. I havent been writing my best lately.

But I wanted to get this one out.

Now go and review!