1Lost it all

Chapter Five: A bit of the past, perhaps?

Rating: M

Summary: When Sanji makes the greatest sacrifice, can Zoro and the others cope? Without his hand, can Sanji even hope to continue his cooking...can he even continue living...? The least likely among the crew must help Sanji find himself, and in doing so...Save his own soul.

Disclaimer: Nope. No own.

A/N: Hehehe, I got a lot of encouragement from you guys so this is an official update! Lost will be a regular story of mine! Yay! OH! Also- this story WILL be yaoi! -cheers from all my reviewers-

(Sorry for the long wait, I am still stuck on my newsies fanfics, plus school...)

I love all my reviewers! huggles

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"You're not a member of this crew anymore, Roronoa Zoro. NOW GET OFF MY SHIP!" Each word was yelled, each word cut deeply into the swordsman's heart, tearing it, ripping it.

There was only one thing to do.

His hands shaking he threw his pack over his shoulder and made his way to the rope, looking down to see a small boat floating on the water. He threw his legs over the edge, not wanting to look back, but he had to.

He wasn't there, but then again...why had he expected him to be?

Zoro swallowed the lump in his throat.

'Good-Bye, Sanji.'

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For a while, Sanji couldn't move from where he was huddled on the kitchen floor. Chopper's last words kept echoing in the air, reverberating through his mind. His leg...his only weapon...Never before had he felt so vulnerable, so completely useless.

He couldn't fight, could hardly take care of himself, definitely couldn't cook...But really, all of that felt diminished when faced with the light of what was really bothering him. Not once, during the entire time he had been sitting there, did Zoro come down to see if he was all right.

"Darn you." He hissed, striking out with his hand, hitting the cabinet with enough force to knock a few pots off of the counter. They hit the floor with a loud clangs, and he watched them spin before slowly dying down.

He felt like such a fool, used and abandoned. He almost regretted saving the swordsman. Almost. He wasn't sure why he couldn't just hate him. Surely it would make things easier. But for some reason, he just couldn't do it. Something in the back of his mind kept on telling him that it would all work out in the end.

He considered telling his mind to f-off, but let that thought trail away with the many similar ones he had already thrown away. None of them would help any, probably only make him even more confused.

He was going through all this agony, and Zoro couldn't care less. After all, hadn't he admitted to it? Said it? Up to that moment, Sanji had truly believe in nakama, had honestly believed he had found his.

Which was why he wouldn't, under any circumstances, allow himself to escape and leaving Zoro in the hands of their enemies. That seemed so long ago, insignificant. But it wasn't; in fact, it was the beginning of it all...One stormy night in the northern seas.

"What are you doing out here, foolish swordsman?"

Zoro glanced back at the cabin door, not moving from where he was leaning on the rail. The sky was pitch black, rain pounded the deck, piercing his back. It hurt, almost like hundreds of tiny needles hitting him all at once.

"What? Am I not allowed to be up here, cook?" He asked in slight annoyance, turning back to the thrashing waters so far below. He didn't want to see the person standing just out of the rain.

"Its raining." Sanji said slowly, as if talking to a mentally retarded child. "You'll get sick if you stay out here."

Zoro shrugged a little, "Im thinking." He hardly expected the other to understand. Why would he? After all, he and the cook never truly understood each other, they just acted like they did. Or at least...thats what he told himself.

"That rain helps you think?" The voice was much closer now.

Startled, the swordsman's head snapped to the side, where the blonde was standing, hands braced lightly on the rail. "What are you doing? Didn't you just say something about getting sick?"

Stifling the urge to sneer, Sanji put his hands in his pockets, folded carefully over his cigarette pack; protecting it from the water. "You didnt answer my question."

"Neither did you."

"No, I didnt." He agreed, "So, what are you going to do about-" The rest of his sentance was cut off as a large wave slammed into the side of the ship, rocking it back and forth.

Cursing, Zoro staggered backwards, catching himself on a barrel. The storm was getting worse. Lighting streaked across the sky, illuminating his face, "Go get the others, Sanji! We have to get outta here!"

Even now, he could see the monster waves that were beginning to form. If they weren't careful, they would capsize and sink. But the cook wasn't moving. "Sanji!" He roared, snapping the other out of his reverie long enough to slide across the deck, disappearing into the cabin.

Zoro leaned over the rail, more than he should have, but hey, he had to do it. The sea was churning, the wind howling. They were going to be in extreme danger in a matter of moments if they didn't do something.

"Come on cook." He murmurred as he ran across the deck, lunging for some of the ropes that looked about to snap. "Hurry it up!"

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"Nami!" Sanji burst into the navigator's room, nearly falling over a chair as the ship rocked sideways. "Get up! We have a problem!"

"What?" She groggily lifted her head enough to see who it was before she let out a shrill shriek and pitched her pillow at his head. "Get out!" She cried, pulling the sheet up to her chin.

Having ducked the pillow, Sanji snapped, "There's no time for that! The storm's gotten worse!"

Instantly, her stance changed. Her eyes narrowed and she swung a leg over the edge, "What! It shouldn't-"

"IT DID!"

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"Sanji?" The voice jerked him from his memories and he swung his head toward the door, hoping it was Zoro. But it was only Nami. Sighing lightly, he forced a grim smile.

"Yes, Nami?"

"Are you...doing okay?" She came in and knelt down next to him, clearly a little nervous by just being there. "I mean...do you need anything?"

"Yeah." He said dryly, "I need that dumb idiot to get down here so I can fry him."

Her brow furrowed, "Idiot? Who...oh." Realization dawned and she suddenly seemed very interested with her hands. Sanji didn't miss that, and it worried him. What had happened to Zoro?

"What? What is it?" He sat up a little, wincing when he pulled his leg. "What happened?"

"Sanji..." She bit her lip, "Zoro...he isn't here anymore."

Something akin to ice slid down his spine, making him shiver, but for what emotion, he knew not. Fear, perhaps. He was worried, and afraid. If something happened to Zoro, he didn't know what he was going to do. "What do you mean?"

"He...Luffy..."

A fight? "What? They fought? Are they hurt?"

"No..."

"Speak clearer, woman!" He half-shouted, startling her so much her head flew up, eyes slightly wide. Sanji had never, ever, talked like that before.

"He's gone, Sanji. You don't have to worry about him anymore...cause Luffy kicked him out."

For a moment it was completely and utterly silent, and then, out of the blue...

"HE DID WHAT!"

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oh yes, wonderful chapter. I swear, pure brilliance. -smile- ahem, yes.

Now, drop me a review...ya know you want to...