Lost it all

Chapter Six: The storm

Rating: M

Summary: When Sanji makes the greatest sacrifice, can Zoro and the others cope? Without his hand, can Sanji even hope to continue his cooking...can he even continue living...? The least likely among the crew must help Sanji find himself, and in doing so...Save his own soul.

Disclaimer: Nope. No own.

A/N: Hehehe, I got a lot of encouragement from you guys so this is an official update! Lost will be a regular story of mine! Yay! OH! Also- this story WILL be yaoi! -cheers from all my reviewers-

I love all my reviewers! huggles

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"What? What is it?" He sat up a little, wincing when he pulled his leg. "What happened?"

"Sanji..." She bit her lip, "Zoro...he isn't here anymore."

Something akin to ice slid down his spine, making him shiver, but for what emotion, he knew not. Fear, perhaps. He was worried, and afraid. If something happened to Zoro, he didn't know what he was going to do. "What do you mean?"

"He...Luffy..."

A fight? "What? They fought? Are they hurt?"

"No..."

"Speak clearer, woman!" He half-shouted, startling her so much her head flew up, eyes slightly wide. Sanji had never, ever, talked like that before.

"He's gone, Sanji. You don't have to worry about him anymore...cause Luffy kicked him out."

For a moment it was completely and utterly silent, and then, out of the blue...

"HE DID WHAT?!"

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Shocked at his outburst, Nami jerked backwards, eyes wide in her pale face. "I don't understand...Sanji, don't you want him gone? I mean, after everything he put you through?"

The blonde blinked at her, forced to think on that for a bit longer than he deemed necessary. After all, why didn't he want Zoro gone? It was true that everything that had happened to him, happened because of the swordsman...But did he want him gone?

"No...No, I don't." The answer surprised himself as well.

"But why? Sanji, look at you!" She exclaimed, gaze traveling up and down his mangled body. "I don't understand why you would defend him like this!"

"Im not defending him!" Sanji snapped, eyes narrowed. "Im telling you that I didn't want him gone, that I didn't want Luffy kicking him off the ship in the absolute middle of nowhere!"

He used the counter to pull himself up, and smacked the other's hands away when she tried to help. Standing somewhat unsteadily on one leg, Sanji glared down at her. "I wanted to take care of the problem with Zoro myself, and if you people can't get that through your thick heads, then you can just leave. me. ALONE!!"

Nami didn't even have a second to plead her case before Sanji slammed the door in her face and locked it. Her brow furrowing, she couldn't help but feel like she had missed something. Something terribly important.

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"God dang it!" Zoro cursed as the little boat he had been given rocked unsteadily in the water. Hoping against everything that it didn't sink, he cast a look back to where he had thought the ship would be.

He was somewhat surprised to see it gone. He couldn't have traveled that far, could he? Sighing, he halfway collapsed on his butt and gazed up at the sky. Hard to believe all this had happened just because of some tactless thing he had said.

Okay, maybe not just 'tactless'. He was cruel, he understood that, and Sanji defiantly didn't deserve it, but...God, why was this so hard for him to work out?! Kicking at his pack, the swordsman drew one of his katanas and stared down at the gleaming blade.

For some reason, he was less than surprised to see which sword he held.

"What would you think of me now, I wonder?" He asked softly, rubbing the white wrappings with his thumb. "I really messed up this time, didn't I, Kuina?"

Many times over the course of his life, he had talked to Kuina as if she were still there, just out of reach and of sight, and many times he could have sworn she had been listening...But this time, there was nothing, nothing but the soft rock of the boat and the utter feeling of loneliness and guilt.

He had really messed up this time.

"Im sorry, Sanji." He bit his lip and bowed his head in his hands, "Im so sorry I ever got you involved in all this."

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Zoro bit his lip as the rope dug into his hands, the wind jerking hard enough to nearly take his arm off. Bracing his feet in, he hoped the dumb cook had done what he said, or else there wasn't going to be a ship in a few minutes.

A particularly rough gust of wind nearly forced a cry from his throat as he felt the skin on his palms and fingers giving, tearing away as he put all his weight on the rope, praying it didn't snap, or pulled him hard enough that he went with it.

That cook had ten seconds to-

Suddenly the pull on his arms was suddenly less, and Zoro's head snapped upward. "Sanji." He breathed, relieved almost beyond words, not that he would ever admit that. Indeed, after a second of relief, his gaze hardened.

"Where were you?!"

"Don't let go of the rope, you stupid swordsman!" Sanji barked, leaning his body sideways, hooking the rope under his arm to alleviate some of the stress. "It's not my fault Nami didn't believe me!"

Zoro didn't even have time to reply, because the sea was getting worse. The ship rocked, and it was all the two could do but hold on. They could hear yelling, and realized the rest of the crew were on deck, rushing around even though it was too hard to see them through the rain.

Sanji bit his lip hard enough to taste blood and he repositioned his footing slightly, only to slip. Landing hard on one knee, he suppressed a cry as he felt his hands tear. Blood started to dribble down the rope, stinging, and making his grip harder to maintain.

"Idiot!"

Pulling himself back to his feet, Sanji didn't bother to retort as he put every ounce of his weight on the rope, eyes narrowed and determined. He didn't say anything the rest of the time they were fighting the storm, not even when Nami screamed at him for not waking her up sooner.

He never opened his mouth.

Zoro, his hands bandaged up, walked across the deck. Or rather, stalked. It was nice out, now that the storm was over, and the seas were mostly calm. Things should have been fine on the ship, since it had sustained minimal damage.

But they weren't.

"What are ya doin over here?" The swordsman asked, leaning his hip against the railing. Sanji stood in the shaded alcove, elbows braced on the side rail, wind ruffling his hair with the ever present cigarette hanging from his lips.

Not really expecting an answer, Zoro leaned his back against the rail and crossed his arms. "Nami told me to tell her she's sorry you were such a blundering idiot, and that eventually they need you to get in the kitchen and do what you do because they're gettin hungry."

Still no answer, but Sanji did shift a bit, pulling the cigarette out of his mouth so he could blow some smoke into the air. Zoro sighed and turned to face him, some smart remark on the tip of his tongue. But he didn't make it.

Instead he stared at the cook's torn, red, and raw hands with disbelief in his eyes. Biting off a curse, he reached out and snagged both of Sanji's hands in one of his own, pulling him away from the rail.

"Let go of me." The first words Sanji had uttered since the storm, and they were full of hatred and rage. His eyes were reflecting the same as he lashed out, aiming for the other's head.

Zoro had been prepared for the reaction, and blocked, kicking one of Sanji's legs out from under him, riding his body down to the deck. Pinning him deftly, he brought his face inches from the others, snarling.

"We can do this the easy way, or we can do this the hard way. Choose."

Sanji growled, but couldn't do much in this situation. Not pinned the way he was. Sighing in defeat, he relaxed under Zoro, gaze fixed off somewhere to the right. He didn't even want to see that stupid swordsman's face right then.

Snorting in amusement, Zoro sat back so he was straddling him, taking the cook's hands - a bit gentler now - and turning them over in his hands. "When did you plan on doing something with these, Sanji?"

"Don't chastise me, Zoro. I'm not a child." The blonde snapped, eyes snapping back up to look at him despite not really wanting to.

"Then stop acting like one. Idiot. Want to lose these?" Pulling some antiseptic and bandages from his pocket he placed them on Sanji's chest and uncapped the antiseptic with his teeth. "For wanting to be a cook, you didn't take very good care of them."

Frustrated, Sanji looked away again. He wasn't altogether sure why he hadn't wrapped them yet. He could come up with excuses, if he had to, but there wasn't really one that well... made any sense. In this, Zoro was right.

He did notice, however, that as the antiseptic burnt and stung his skin, and even as the bandage irritated the raw skin, the swordsman was gentle. More gentle then Sanji would ever have given him credit for.

"There. Try not to get them wet." Zoro mumbled, moving off of the cook and grabbing the antiseptic bottle and what was left of the bandages. He was walking away, when he could have sworn he heard it.

But when he turned back around, Sanji was back up and smoking a cigarette, and when his gaze landed on him, the blonde sneered, "What are you lookin at?"

Still, Zoro could have sworn, for one second, he heard Sanji's voice.

"Thanks, Zoro."

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There ya go. Sorry for the late update you guys. I'm gonna work on that, I swear.

And it was even later because was down... do not ask me why. Sowwy.

Now...review? Yes? I love you? -grin-