Chapter 19: Ohh No!

I walked though the woods, scared to the fullest, waiting for something bad to happen. Everywhere I turned, I was afraid that something was going to pop out and attack me, but luckily nothing did.

"JAKE!" I shouted out looking for a sign that he was there.

I heard a couple of rustling noises coming forward so I kept on walking ahead. I saw a few feet away from me, a couple making out, so I ducked down hoping that they didn't seem me.

I finally found a cliff not far from where I was at. I started to look around hoping that he wasn't anywhere near the cliff since I'm afraid of heights, I don't planning on going anywhere near there unless I have to.

I thought I saw a bag on the ground, so I walked over to the bag. I looked inside of it and found a wallet in the front pocket. In the wallet I found an I.D. and it was Jake's.

"He was here!" I told myself a little bit relieved hoping that he would still be somewhere here. I looked even more in his bag hoping that there is a sign somewhere giving a clue on where he is.

I heard a voice behind me and I started to smile. I stood up and looked behind me only finding a guy asking for spare change. I told him I didn't have any so he left me alone.

I searched deeper in the bag and found a letter saying "To whom ever is looking in my bag" on the front. Inside it said:

Dear Person,

You are looking in my bag for probably some money or something. I don't have my money. I am underage and my parents are the only people who have access to it. Anyway, please call the police and tell them that I fell over the cliff. I only did it to take the pain away from me.

I hated not knowing the truth about a lot of things and I hate my parents for not being there for me when I most needed it. I hated that most of my friends only liked me because I was famous. I hated that the one person or persons that I loved, lied to me just to protect themselves. I hated that she was never loyal to me and I always thought that I could trust someone like her.

Tonight when I found out about her, I didn't know how to feel. I felt like I just wanted to die and all night I was thinking about it, I couldn't keep it in so I just am writing this minutes before I commit the one thing I never thought I would find myself doing. So my loved ones, if you are reading this, I'm sorry. Good bye and I love you all and Ollie, thanks for being such a good friend. If you weren't there for me, I don't know what I would do without you.

-Jake Ryan

I held my breath with tears welling up in my eyes. I decided to walk near the edge just to see if he really had done this.

Nearing the edge of the cliff I still no sign of Jake. I walked closer the edge of the cliff and saw a jacket hanging on one of the roots hanging out of the edge. I squinted my eyes and saw it was the same exact jacket that Jake had worn yesterday when he came over to my house.

"Oh. My. God. Did he really jump off?" I covered my mouth with my hand and started walking backward hitting a tree. I slid down and sat on the ground and my eyes wide opened still not believing that this could possibly happen.

"No, I can't have another person I love ease away from my life again, not now." I shook my head and tears started falling down my cheeks.

I pulled my knees to my chest and pressed my forehead against it. "This cant be happening." I said to myself tightly closing my eyes.

'Why does everyone think that suicide is something you can do just to get away from your issues? Why cant people see that just doing that is hurting everyone that loves them?' I pressed my fingernails into my legs just wanting all this bullshit dramas to go away. "I lost my mom and now I lost Jake just because of this."

'It's my entire fault. I've been crying for the longest time and now that he's gone because of me, I swear I'm going to die' I thought to myself.

"Jake… Why did I not tell you my secret in the beginning? If I did… then we wouldn't be like this. You wouldn't hate me and I wouldn't be so depressed over this… you… you're the only guy I've ever crushed on for so long… please… please don't be dead." I cried harder.

"Dammit Jake, do you know how much you mean to me? How much times I've tempted to tell you how I felt, and yet I could never give in and say it? How many times a day I would think about you, about us being together? How hurt I was when I found out you were dating that slut Rachel… Everyday, before I see you, I would say that I would come right out and tell you, but I would chickened out, and now that I cant… it tears me apart." started hitting my head on my knees trying to forget everything about Jake.

"Jake… I'm coming right out and saying that… I love you… Ever since the day you first started school, right when you walked in, I felt so… different. I can't explain it, but it's just so hard for me to say it. Now that you're gone, I can never tell you this ever again." I frowned hard. I felt a presence behind me, but I ignored it and continued feeling like all this was my fault.

"Is this really how you feel about me?"

A/N OMG WHAT HAPPENED TO JAKE? So sorry if it feels short, project due tomorrow and I only got an hour to write this. I'm never ever procrastinating again. Even though we all say that and end up doing it anyway :-P

P: Reading as in reading for fun? LOL my parents are trying to get me to stop going to Borders because I always read haha anyway I'll take your advice and read even more lol.

try-to-sing-with-a-smile: Thanks for caring :-/ I hope it will all go good too. So yes I'm so serious, I should start thinking of how I should write it. Thanks for the idea:D