-Disclaimer-
Nothing
belongs to me besides the characters of Rachel and Kari, and sometimes
I wonder about them. The rest belongs to the brilliant genius that was
JRR Tolkien...or reality.
-1: Valinor-
There was one thing about Glorfindel that everyone seemed to have forgotten, or simply neglected, to inform me of before we reached Valinor. And that is that he has a huge family. Mostly because his grandparents have literally been around since the beginning of civilization, which has given the family lots of time to grow, but also because everyone in his family seems to enjoy having kids - he has ten aunts and uncles, twenty-eight cousins (not counting his cousin-in-laws) and five younger siblings (and four siblings-in-law). It's really very scary, especially when you're not told ahead of time of how many relatives he has, and then you get to meet all his immediate family plus four aunts and uncles, five cousins and their significant others, all at once. And of course, Glorfindel didn't inform me that the people I was about to meet were all his family until he was helping me off my horse.
When he had a good grip on my waist and I couldn't run away.
I ended up practically hiding behind Glorfindel during the introductions to his family. He, of course, found it incredibly amusing, and when we finally managed to escape from Glorfindel's family later that night, he collapsed into laughter.
:You are afraid of the strangest things.: he declared mentally, as he was laughing so hard he couldn't speak.
"So I find large crowds of relatives scary. It's not that hard to conceive of, especially when the relatives are in-laws!" I replied defensively. "And I wasn't prepared for you having such a large family! You could have warned me!" Glorfindel calmed himself enough to talk verbally.
"One would think that you would have guessed, considering how old I am." he said, still chuckling slightly.
"You know I'm still getting used to this whole immortality thing." I said sternly. "Plus...honestly, Fëanor is the only Elf I'd heard of before now to have a lot of kids!"
"Well, he wasn't the only one." Glorfindel informed me.
"Damn." I muttered, which set Glorfindel off again. In revenge, I made him sleep on the floor that night. Ah, the glory of modern-day woman's lib. Of course, when I woke up, he'd found his way back onto the bed. Which was just as well, since his eldest younger sister - her name was Laurind - apparently had no compunction about walking in without knocking to inform us that breakfast was being served at some unholy hour of the morning. Glorfindel was up quickly, bright and cheery. After telling Glorfindel that I would run off with Gil-galad if he dared haul me out of bed at that hour, I went back to sleep.
I suppose that, since I first hid behind Glorfindel when being introduced to his family, and then skipped breakfast, it was completely understandable that his family got the wrong idea about me. But it actually was rather nice that they did, as only one or two approached me at one time after that. Then, of course, Glorfindel decided that I was out of practice using my sword. Never mind that there was no where to use it, except in practice, in Valinor. Glorfindel was adamant that I needed to keep in practice, however, so I changed into my custom-made trousers and tunic and headed out to the family practice ring (looking surprisingly like Glorfindel's study in Rivendell) with Glorfindel to practice.
Of course, as luck would have it, when we got there, Glorfindel's two younger brothers - Vanimonda and Tulcórë - were already there practicing. Upon seeing me, however, they gave up the practice ring to watch. And get the other family members to come see what Glorfindel's 'timid' wife could do. It wasn't like I was good enough to put up a decent fight against Glorfindel, but apparently everyone in the family knew how hard double-bladed swords were to use, and were more than surprised that I could use them. When Glorfindel finally decided that I'd had enough practice, the eldest of his sisters, Laurind, was the first of the family to approach me.
"I had no idea that you could use a double-bladed sword." she said cautiously. "Didn't even think you were the type to pick up a weapon, really."
"Well, large families scare me, especially when I'm not warned of them ahead of time." I said with a glare at Glorfindel, figuring that I might as well tell the truth. Glorfindel staunchly ignored me as he inspected his sword.
"He didn't warn you?" Laurind asked, arching an eyebrow.
"Nope. Seemed to find it funny." I replied, and Laurind promptly went over to Glorfindel and whacked him upside the head. I grinned, while Glorfindel looked up at his sister with innocent confusion.
"Oh, don't give me that." Laurind said with a snort, then proceeded to give Glorfindel a very nice long lecture about how just because he grew up in a large family doesn't mean everyone else did, and how some people find large groups of blood-related people scary. I just watched with amusement, adding occasional mental comments. When Laurind finally finished, I received a very meek mental apology from Glorfindel.
:I think I like your sister.: I replied with a smirk. :Apology accepted.: Glorfindel looked more than a little scared when I then left the practice ring with Laurind, chatting away about men. Larelin and Loselen, Glorfindel's other two sisters, soon joined us, and I found myself with a new group of mischief-makers to cause chaos with. Apparently Glorfindel's sense of humour is a family thing.
After that, I fit into Glorfindel's family scarily well. There was the ever-present disagreement over children, which I didn't want, but everyone in Glorfindel's family seemed bound and determined to convince me that I did want. Glorfindel wisely stuck to my side in that disagreement. Of course, eventually, I decided that having a kid was a good idea, after all, but that was only after Elladan and Mírëría (who had gotten married since we'd last seen them) arrived in Valinor after 500 or so years and informed me that Elrohir and Kari wouldn't be coming to Valinor for another several millennia. The explanation for that was amusing.
"Why?" I had asked Elladan, looking thoroughly confused, when he told me how long it would be before Kari and Elrohir came to Valinor.
"Well, Kari said something about 'it wasn't the Goa'uld, it was the Elves?'" Elladan said, looking just as confused as me. I stared at him blankly for a moment, not quite comprehending. Then I realized what Kari had meant, and I squealed, bouncing up and down. Elladan, Mírëría and Glorfindel all edged away from me.
"Rachel?" Glorfindel asked tentatively.
"It appears I was wrong about Kari and I being from a different universe or world." I declared.
"Oh?" Elladan asked, now curious.
"Yes. Apparently we're just from far in the future." I said. "And since she's immortal, Kari's probably going to wait around until the time we came from." There was a moment of silence.
"Why?" Glorfindel asked finally.
"Because there are some good things about the time we come from. Like leather clothing." I pondered that for a moment. "She better bring some of that with her when she finally gets here. In Glorfindel sizes." Glorfindel eyed me for a moment.
"I'm suddenly scared." he said, shaking his head.
"Don't be." I replied with a grin. "It can make human guys look about equal with Elf-lords. So just think what it will make Elf-lords look like." I went a little dreamy, picturing Glorfindel in leather - a picture which I then sent to Glorfindel. He spluttered some and squeaked mentally about it looking uncomfortable and tight. I informed him that even if it was, he wouldn't be staying in it long enough to be bothered. Glorfindel's response was a combination of mental words, pictures, and feelings, that resulted in our conversation with Elladan and Mírëría being cut short in favour of a trip to our bedroom.
At any rate, the revelation that Kari wouldn't be coming to Valinor to get all my jokes (Glorfindel tried, but it spoiled most jokes when I had to explain them to him, even if it was just mentally) prompted me to seek out a distraction, which came in the form of a child. Glorfindel was quite surprised when I announced that I wanted to have a child, actually. But then, I DID just announce it out of the blue, while he was in the middle of taking a drink. The whole point of announcing it at that instant was to get the spitting-out-drink-in-surprise response, though, so that succeeded nicely.
Of course, once we'd decided to have a child, and it had been confirmed a few months later that yes indeed, I was pregnant, there came the task of coming up with a name. Gil-galad had quite a few suggestions for that.
"You could call it Helcëhin!" he suggested cheerfully.
"Why? I hate ice." I said blankly.
"How about Úlairiraumo?" Gil-galad asked, and I looked at him strangely.
"Once again - why?" I asked.
"Well, any child of yours and Glorfindel's is bound to cause trouble." Gil-galad replied with a shrug.
"I will not have my child named 'Názgul Storm'!" Glorfindel growled.
"Oh, calm down." Gil-galad said, waving off Glorfindel's annoyance. "How about Airahelma?"
"Though that will probably aptly describe their appearance right after they're born, that will only last so long." I said.
"Ëarholme? Rómahin?" Gil-galad tried.
"Now you're just trying to find stupid names." I said, giving Gil-galad a weary look.
"Then it will be Ondoelen!" Gil-galad declared.
"VALAR NO!" I exclaimed. "I am NOT naming my child 'Rock Star'!"
"You are hereby banned from suggesting baby names." Glorfindel declared with a shudder (he having been in on my explanation of the entertainment industry of the future), and then clamped his hand over Gil-galad's mouth when the High King opened it to suggest another name. Gil-galad looked quite incensed with this and attempted to throw Glorfindel off, but Glorfindel can hang on like a monkey when he wants to, and he kept his hand over Gil-galad's mouth until the High King promised not to suggest any more baby names.
In revenge, Gil-galad actually accepted an invitation to another part of Valinor which would involve him being away for around sixty years. I really couldn't see who he thought he was taking revenge on...yes, it was boring without him, but really - he was the one who missed out. He didn't get to be there when Glorfindel's and my daughter Calenda was born, or while she grew up. Though it turned out to be advantageous in the end, as by the time Gil-galad finally came back, Calenda was already grown.
Which made it a lot easier for the two of them to fall in love.
It was really very odd. Within a month after Gil-galad coming back, I walked out into the garden one day to find my daughter and the High King making with the smoochies. The two of them, as well as Glorfindel, still love to tell the story of how that was the first time I ever fainted - and how I woke up laughing afterwards. Glorfindel still claims that I was mentally hysterical with laughter for the rest of the week, too.
Then, of course, I realized that this meant Gil-galad was going to be my son-in-law, and oh how I had fun teasing him about that. Calenda eventually told me to stop it before I scared him off. I stopped. At least until after the wedding, when Gil-galad was stuck with both my daughter and me.
From then on, life in Valinor became more interesting. With Gil-galad now related to me, and the apparent inheritance of my sense of humour by Calenda, Glorfindel's family's sense of humour, and Elladan as another partner in crime, I was collecting a group of crazy people. Finally, on the evening Calenda turned 200, while we were having a large party befitting the wife of a High King - which had most everyone actually related to the birthday girl utterly bored because it was so dull - Elladan suggested that was find some disguises and crash our own party. Well, he suggested it somewhat differently, but that was the gist of it.
That's what we did, anyways - me, Elladan, Laurind, Glorfindel's two brothers, Vanimonda and Tulcórë, and two of Glorfindel's cousins found matching, heavy winter cloaks, took the scarves that went with them and wrapped them around our faces, found a few musical instruments and a bottle or two of mirovur, and crashed my daughter's birthday party. We'd all shut our respective spouses out of our minds, too, so even they had no idea what was going on when seven masked Elves showed up and began handing out extremely strong alcohol while playing the tunes to some rather...interesting drinking songs. Glorfindel realized it when I started dancing with him, however - as did Gil-galad and Calenda when I (having had a little too much mirovur myself at that point) started singing 'The Bad Touch'. I sang in English, of course, but both Calenda and Gil-galad (along with Glorfindel and Laurind) had learned the language somehow or another over the years.
The whole thing was all over as a huge scandal the next day, of course, but as no one knew who had caused the trouble (we'd all managed to get out with our disguises intact, amazingly enough) there was no one to blame, and it soon became The Mystery of the Mischief Makers. Of course, after we realized what chaos we had caused in the calm serenity of Valinor, we could hardly wait to do it again. We pooled our resources, and got Larelin (who was an excellent sculptor) to make white, grinning porcelain masks for us - my suggestion - which we then decorated festively. Laurind, who was a fair weaver, made some sparkling silver cloaks and black tunics and trousers, which we left the way they were.
Two days after our 'outfits' were done, the same seven from the party, plus Larelin (who had insisted on being let in on the fun as payment for making the masks) ambushed the High King's hunting party and made a 'royal mockery' of it. In the end, we actually 'kidnapped' Gil-galad, though only the nobles in the hunting party minded. Gil-galad found the whole thing absolutely hilarious and insisted that he be allowed to join the fun next time.
It soon grew from there, with other Elves from around Valinor who enjoyed fun popping into our area long enough for us to be sure of their sense of humour and induct them into our craziness before going back to wherever they were from to spread the craziness. We actually developed an induction ceremony at one point, but it was soon abandoned in favour of the idea of an induction ceremony in which the only rules were that it had to be different from every other induction ceremony before it.
And so the Masked Masters of Chaos were born - or simply the Annoying Ones to those who didn't like us. Really though, Valinor needed some livening up. Even the Valar agreed with us. Tulkas' and Orome's honorary membership in the Masked Masters of Chaos attested to that. They deserved the honorary memberships, too, as they managed to crash one of OUR parties rather effectively by turning all the non-alcohol drinks at the party into mirovur, and turning all the alcoholic drinks into water - without changing the taste, so we didn't know what was going on until most of us were drunk. Plus they disguised themselves as Balrogs and scared the crap out of Glorfindel, which earned them points with everyone. (It had become a running joke that only two things scared Glorfindel - losing me, and Balrogs. Everything else just got him pissed off.)
Besides the two Valar's induction, the one other that was memorable was Ecthelion. It had taken him awhile to get out of Mandos' Halls, but once he did, he apparently stayed in one place only long enough to find out where Glorfindel was hanging out before making a beeline for that place. Of course, he happened to show up on a night when the MMC were having a planning session, and not only that, he snuck in hoping to surprise Glorfindel. The evening soon turned into some sort of bad horror film - every time we turned around, someone was gone. Finally, Glorfindel and I were the only ones left, with me scared out of my wits (I always hated horror films of any type) and Glorfindel royally pissed on my behalf. Then Ecthelion decided to speak up, still hiding in the shadows of the room.
"Dieing wasn't enough excitement for you, eh?" he asked loudly from the shadows. Glorfindel scowled, trying to pinpoint where the mysterious voice was coming from. "And neither was seeing the downfall of a Dark Lord not only once, but twice. Do you just have incurable boredom?" Something about that question seemed to spark Glorfindel's memory, as suddenly he started laughing. I peered at him for a moment, wondering what he found so funny, and then he straightened.
"ECTHELION! Get your sorry butt out here before I find a Balrog to drag it out!" he called, and Ecthelion, grinning, did as demanded.
"It took you long enough to figure out who it was." he said.
"Well last time we had a party crasher it was Tulkas and Orome." Glorfindel said with a roll of his eyes as he and Ecthelion shook hands and then hugged. "Now where have you hidden my daughter and the rest of our friends?"
"Your daughter was among those?" Ecthelion asked, then tsked. "I would have thought you would teach your offspring better."
"He hasn't exactly had the need." I piped up, stepping forward. Ecthelion looked over at me and I stuck out my hand. "Hi, I'm Rachel. Or Elenlómë, depending. I assume you're Ecthelion of the House of the Fountain." Ecthelion nodded, looking amused as he shook my hand.
"I gathered as I was watching that you and Glorfindel are married, which was why I let you be." he said.
"Which was probably a very wise idea." I said with a wry smile. "Since I bite and kick where it hurts." Ecthelion arched an eyebrow.
"She's also one of the ones responsible for the formation of this mass of mischief makers." Glorfindel put in. "Which brings to light the fact that you still haven't told us what you've done with them."
"I locked them in the kitchen." Ecthelion said with a shrug.
"The kitchen doesn't have a lock?" I said with confusion.
"It does now." Ecthelion replied with a smirk. Glorfindel rolled his eyes.
"Have you been re-arranging furniture again Ecthelion, despite Turgon's orders not to do so ever again?" he asked.
"Only a little." Ecthelion said with a smirk, and I gaped at him.
"Dude. That sounded exactly like Jack Sparrow." I said in wonder, then squealed and glomped onto Ecthelion. "You're my new second-favouritest Elf-lord!"
"Um...thanks?" Ecthelion said, looking distinctly weirded out as he glanced to Glorfindel for explanation.
"She's insane." Glorfindel supplied helpfully. I didn't even bother to glare at him, as I would have given the same explanation.
"Mmhmm. So I'm beginning to gather." Ecthelion said. "But we should probably go let the others out of the kitchen?"
"Yes, we should. Time to let go, Rachel." Glorfindel said, attempting to pry me off of Ecthelion. I refused, however, and eventually ended up holding onto Ecthelion in piggy-back style, at which point I insisted that as punishment for scaring me out of my wits, he was going to carry me to the kitchens. Ecthelion looked somewhat pleadingly at Glorfindel, but Glorfindel just shrugged.
"Why are you on her side?" Ecthelion asked with disbelief.
"He's on my side because I'm his wife and the mother of his child, Jack. Now move it." I said, giving Ecthelion a slap on the shoulder. Ecthelion grumbled, but then set off for the kitchens grudgingly.
"Jack?" Glorfindel asked as we went. I shrugged.
"Sounds good. I'll come up with a better one later." I said.
"Another what?" Ecthelion asked.
"Nickname." I replied. There was a moment of silence.
"Please tell me you don't mean you're going to now call me 'Jack'." Ecthelion almost pleaded.
"Within a week of knowing Glorfindel I was calling him 'Glory'. Ten minutes after meeting Gil-galad I started calling him 'Gilly'. Galadriel is now and forever shall be 'Gal', and Elrond has been 'Rondy' since Celebrían commented on his lack of a nickname. You are now 'Jack' until I decide otherwise. And there is no way you will change my mind." I declared, deciding it was best not to mention how Haldir had managed to blackmail me into dropping his nickname.
"Actually Rachel, the only reason I knew anything about double-bladed swords was because -" I cut Glorfindel off.
"DON'T EVEN SAY IT." I exclaimed. "I deny it! I will not give up another good nickname!"
"Ow, those were my ears." Ecthelion said with a wince as we arrived at the kitchen. I jumped off of him and looked with amusement at the large chests that were piled in front of the door, and which occasionally shook as someone on the other side tried to open the door.
"Turgon would be so disappointed that you so easily forgot his command." Glorfindel said with a sigh.
"Hey, I died helping his daughter escape from Gondolin unharmed, I think that excuses me from any of his unnecessary commands." Ecthelion said defensively.
"Someday, I want to here the story of how Turgon ordered you not to move furniture. For now, let's get Gilly and the others out so we can induct you." I said.
"Induct me?" Ecthelion asked with surprise.
"Of course." I said as Ecthelion and Glorfindel set to moving the chests in front of the kitchen door. "You crashed an MMC party. Anyone who does that successfully gets instant membership." Ecthelion looked at Glorfindel, who shrugged.
"She's right. Now help me move these chests." he said, grabbing the end of one of the chests in front of the door. Ecthelion sighed, grabbed the other end, and the two set to removing the chests until they both had to jump back as someone on the other side was able to push the door open. After that, everyone poured out of the kitchen, demanding to know what was going on, and when it was finally explained, they all agreed that Ecthelion deserved an immediate induction. So we inducted him, got him rip-roaring drunk - and locked him in the kitchen. The MMC may love mischief and making chaos, but they also have a strong sense of revenge.
Sadly, though, after that first meeting, Ecthelion rarely participated in the MMC. Glorfindel said this was typical for Ecthelion, who liked to hide in the background. The MMC tried to draw him out after that, of course, but Glorfindel held them back from their full potential, and in the end, Ecthelion just became another honorary, never-present member like Tulkas and Orome.
And of course, we can't forget Haldir. Who snuck into Valinor and hid on the opposite side of the continent from me for almost 500 years before I discovered him. Unfortunately for him, by that time I was not only mother-in-law to a High King, but the MMC was at it's height. Poor Haldir didn't figure out what was happening for almost a decade, as he became the MMC's primary target. When he finally did figure it out, he paid me a rather stormy visit which ended up being just one step short of another kinslaying.
In the end, Glorfindel and his family, along with Haldir's family, decided that it was best to keep the two of us apart from then on, and actually managed to do so for another 500 years. One of the Valar - Haldir and I have yet to figure out which one, though Tulkas and Orome are the prime suspects - decided that Haldir and I needed to settle things, however. We woke up one morning to find ourselves in the middle of the largest patch of wilderness in Valinor, completely alone, and weaponless. After two days straight of constant arguing, Haldir and I realized how incredibly stupid our on-going antagonism was, and a week later - having finally arrived back at civilization - Haldir and I were on horses heading back to where I lived with Glorfindel (and his family...huge estate, great fun to live on). With a bottle of mirovur each. Needless to say, we arrived very, very drunk, singing the worst songs we could think of. Or think up.
From then on, Haldir and I were as close to friends as we were ever going to get - we wouldn't normally go visit each other or spend time around one another, but whenever one of us felt the need to just get away from everyone and everything, we'd go kidnap the other and we'd ride through Valinor, drunk off our asses, singing dirty songs. Valinlot - who was now, unsurprisingly, married to Haldir - and Glorfindel completely flipped out the first time we did our little drinking-and-singing ride-about, but they soon came to accept our strange little way of getting along with one another. Though both Haldir and I had to endure endless jokes about us not being able to get along with each other UNLESS we were at least partially drunk.
Anyways. That's the basics on how I spent over five thousand years in Valinor. If you want specifics as to politics, lands, who did what, don't look at me - I barely paid attention to most of that stuff, unless it was to cause chaos. Sure, I was the mother-in-law of a High King, but Elvish politics were infinitely less complex and cut-throat than human ones (unless you involved wood-elves, and even then, they were more stubborn than cut-throat).
Surprisingly, technology didn't advance too much, either. Elves are clever - but apparently it takes a limited lifespan and the insatiable curiosity of humans to cause fast-paced advancements in technology. Plus...well, the Elves didn't really seem to have any interest in advanced technologies. I mean, when you had magic, lived in a virtual paradise, and could regularly speak with gods if you wanted to, what's the point in having fancy gadgets like TVs and Computers? I missed my science fiction, of course, but...hey. Some sacrifices aren't all that hard to make when you're submerged in a world where myths, magic, and gods are reality.
----To Be Continued...with Elrohir!----
-Important Information-
Gil-galad's 'suggestions' for baby names translate as follows:
Helcëhin - Ice Child
Úlairiraumo - Názgul Storm
Airahelma - Ruddy Skin
Ëarholme - Sea Odour
Rómahin - Loud Child
Ondoelen - Stone/Rock Star
Glorfindel's immediate family, in order of age, are as follows:
Loseren (Snow Steel) - father
Laurafanya (Golden Cloud) - mother
Glorfindel!Laurind (Golden Heart) - eldest younger sister
Vanimonda (Fair Hearted) - eldest younger brother
Tulcórë (Strong Heart) - youngest younger brother
Larelind (Summer Song) - middle younger sister
Loselen (Snow Star) - youngest younger sister
-Authors Note-
Muha.
OK. Hope y'all enjoyed the first actual chapter of the story. It was a
little troublesome for me to write - it's been awhile since I read the
Silmarillion, and even though I now OWN a copy of it...I don't really
want to read it again right now. So I just erred on the side of caution
where I could.
And, hm, I suppose I should say 'thank you' to all my reviewers...though 'thank you' doesn't do all of you justice. 24 reviews just for the prologues! You people are amazing. I'd give you all batches of home-baked cookies if I could, but unfortunately you'll have to settle for some cyber-cookies instead. hands out cyber-cookies to everyone
Now, I go! zhoom See ya...whenever I get around to updating again!
-Crimson Starlight