-Disclaimer-
Nothing belongs to me besides the characters of Rachel and Kari, and sometimes I wonder about them. The rest belongs to the brilliant genius that was JRR Tolkien...or reality.
-4: Return -
"I swear I saw a cruise ship!" I insisted.
"It was an oil tanker!" Elrohir shot back.
"It was not! It was white! Since when do they paint oil tankers white!" I demanded.
"It wasn't white! That was the sun reflecting off of it into your eyes!" Elrohir exclaimed.
"Children!" Gil-galad interrupted with exasperation. "Does it really matter?" Elrohir and I glanced at each other.
"Well, no, not really..." I admitted.
"Then let's just say that we'll never know and leave it at that, hm?" Gil-galad said sternly, resting his hands on his hips and looking very much like a stern mother scolding her/his children. I giggled at the mental image of Gil-galad in an apron and dress, holding a wooden spoon. Gil-galad just sighed, shook his head, and stalked off.
"I think we annoyed him." I stage whispered to Elrohir.
"Really? I thought he was amused." Elrohir replied in kind, and we both ducked as Gil-galad chucked a fish at us. Yes, a fish. It had become the projectile of choice onboard our little ship ever since an unfortunate fishing incident that had resulted in Ecthelion getting hit in the head with a tuna. That had prompted Elrohir and I to recall that a once-favourite threat of Kari's involved beating someone with a trout, and we had felt obliged to carry the tradition onwards. Only no one on board had actually believed that we'd hit them with a trout, so we'd actually had to throw a few fish at them before they took us seriously. Which, of course, led to the quibble that we hadn't actually thrown trout at them, but my response to that was that I couldn't tell a tuna from a salmon from a trout anyways, so who cared?
Yes, we were all going slightly more crazy than normal on the passage from Valinor to Earth. When we'd finally set out, we'd all been so eager to reach Earth that none of us had stopped to realize that it would take us several weeks to get there, just as it had taken several weeks to go from (Middle-)Earth to Valinor. So we'd been all excited and high-strung, and as the days dragged by, it led to some pretty ridiculous things. The argument about the oil tanker/cruise ship had sprung up when, after three weeks, while Elrohir and I were on watch one day, we swore we saw a ship on the horizon. It was probably just us being hopeful that we'd finally crossed over the barrier between the Straight Road and the plain ol' ocean, but Elrohir and I in particular both wanted so badly to get to Earth and rescue Kari that we had clung firmly to the belief that it was another ship. Tension had created the argument about what type it was.
"So I just thought of something." Calenda said, suddenly dropping down from the rigging in front of Elrohir and I. We both squawked and jerked backwards.
"Do not DO that!" I exclaimed - Calenda had proved especially adept at maneuvering in the ship's rigging, and had taken to dropping down out of it unexpectedly and scaring everyone, like she just had with Elrohir and I.
"Sorry Mother." she said with a roll of her eyes. "Anyways. We've been listening to your and Elrohir's tales about Earth for the entire journey - and the month before - and I just realized something. From what you've said, both our ship and our clothing will stick out like an Orc in Valinor. And yet we plan on sneaking into one of these military bases, supposed heavily guarded against intruders. How?"
"There are people who like to recreate the 'good old days', which is how we'll explain the ship, and we have the clothes that Kari and Elrohir packed into the ship when they were getting ready to come to Valinor." I replied.
"Where do you think we got the hat for Jack?" Elrohir said, nodded towards the helm, where Ecthelion was currently steering. It turned out that Kari had somehow managed to buy a replica of Jack Sparrow's hat in the 'Pirates of the Caribbean' movie, and when Elrohir and I had discovered it while searching through the clothing Kari had packed, we had instantly given it to Ecthelion and insisted he wear it while he was on the ship - which was, by the way, named 'Enterprise'. Just because it sent Elrohir and I into convulsions of silent laughter whenever it was mentioned. Either that or we started quoting the 'Star Trek: Generations' movie. Data's life-form song was a particular favourite, as was random personification of objects which were then called 'Mr. Tricorder, Prototype insert any number here - and sometimes letters, too'.
"Oh. Right." Calenda said with a frown.
"But don't worry, we'll still have to go shopping!" I insisted cheerfully. Elrohir groaned.
"I should never have mentioned that Kari and I still had a large amount of money left." he said.
"No, you shouldn't have. But you did, so too bad." I said with an impish grin - though it truly was a good thing that Elrohir and Kari hadn't spent even half of the money they'd saved up, as that eliminated the worry of having to get a hold of some money in order to have some place other than the ship to stay in.
Actually, all our plans were somewhat contingent on where we ended up, no matter that we had quite a large amount of money at our disposal. Elrohir had left from the west coast of North America, but all the Elves before him had left from what was the equivalent of the west coast of Europe, and when the Noldor had gone from Valinor to Arda way back when, they'd ended up on the same coast most Elves left from - the equivalent of the west coast of Europe. So there was a strong supposition that we'd end up on the coast of Europe. This was, however, slightly inconvenient for us, and so both Elrohir and I had spoken with Tulkas and Orome about it before we'd left and asked them to see if they could do anything about it. We were all hoping they had, as it would mean several more months of sailing otherwise.
Anyways, once we got to the USA, we had a very simple plan. Return to Kari and Elrohir's house - there was a convoluted reason as to why they hadn't sold it yet - find out the lay of the land, see if we could track down any way to get into Area 51, and then, one way or another, move in and snatch Kari. Elrohir seemed extremely confident that we'd find some type of information about how to get inside, which led me to believe that he had some contacts he wasn't telling us about. Which of course led to teasing. Everything led to teasing between Elrohir and I. And half the teasing no-one else could understand, which made it all twice as amusing to Elrohir and I.
In the end, it turned out that either there was some weird navigating going on, or Tulkas and Orome had pulled through for us, as around a month after we'd left Valinor, San Fransisco came into sight. At that time, Elrohir and I realized that not only had we ended up on the west coast of America, but we'd showed up INSIDE the coast guards major border patrol - which we'd forgotten until that moment, since Elrohir had been too concerned about stopping for the coast guard when he'd been leaving last time. Elrohir and I both promised to each other that we were going to start a church to Tulkas and Orome while we were here as thanks, and then directed the boat to be steered along the coastline to Elrohir and Kari's cottage, where the boat had originally been docked before Elrohir had made his run to Valinor.
Then, we set about changing clothes. Which sounds a lot simpler than it was. Especially since we had to first drag everyone away from the various modern appliances in the cabin before one of them hurt themselves - they seemed to be attracted to all the things with sharp parts, or parts that heated up or cooled down rapidly. It was sort of amusing, in an aggravating sort of way - if one was ever bored, and had a spare Valinorian Elf lying around, introducing them to blenders, stoves, and freezers would be an excellent way to stop being bored reeeeal quick.
Even once we got people into the bedrooms changing, most everyone had a complaint about their clothes, and we spent quite some time swapping pieces of clothing before everyone was satisfied. Then Calenda and I had to spend about five minutes just staring dreamily at everyone else (mostly our husbands, of course)...because they all looked damned fine. Gil-galad was, scarily enough, pulling off a perfect cowboy look, Ecthelion had gone for a more sophisticated, casual-suit type look (having, sadly, ditched the Jack Sparrow hat), Elladan was wearing (of course) bright Hawaiian-print clothing (and he knew exactly how amusing it was for him to be in such clothing - that's why he was wearing it), while Glory and Elrohir had opted for plain old jeans and a t-shirt (Glorfindel's t-shirt, amusingly enough, read 'Pervy Elf Fancier'...I'd actually heard him try and get rid of it, but Elrohir hadn't let him). Calenda actually tried to drag Gil-galad off to one of the rooms, but Elrohir and Elladan dragged her back, much to her dismay. And Gil-galad's dismay, too, actually, since Calenda was sporting a very tight pair of jeans...along with a few other clothes that actually made her sort of match her cowboy-ish husband. As for me, well, there was a reason Glorfindel was wearing jeans and a t-shirt - he'd just asked me what type of clothing I liked and gone off of that.
Anyways, once we were all changed, we riffled around in Kari and Elrohir's kitchen and found some non-perishables to combine with the leftover food from the ship journey in the hopes of creating a palatable meal. Surprisingly, thanks to the almost 50,000 years of cooking experience we had between us all, we succeeded in our endeavor. After eating, we headed out to load our things into Kari and Elrohir's vehicle - or at least the vehicle they kept at the cabin, which handily enough turned out to be a nice, big truck.
"We needed it to transport all the junk Kari wanted to bring back with us." Elrohir said dryly as he and I started loading our stuff into the truck. The other five were too busy eyeing the truck suspiciously to help - we'd told them about the vehicles of this day and age, so they didn't ask any silly questions like where the horses were, but they weren't entirely trusting of a piece of machinery which we told them could go as fast, if not faster, than a ship at sea, only on land, and without any visible means of propelling it.
Eventually, Elrohir and I convinced everyone else to pile into the truck, and we headed off. Glory, Ecthelion, Calenda, Gil-galad and Elladan, of course, immediately let out startled exclamations about the speed, and then glued their faces to the window.
"Where is your and Kari's house, anyways?" I asked Elrohir after I saw that our other companions were suitably occupied - Elrohir and I had nabbed the front of the truck, crammed Glorfindel in behind us, and then everyone else was in the far back of the truck - which actually had one of those roof-thingies over it - and we'd left the window between open so all could hear, if they so desired. Most of them were too occupied watching the scenery go by to pay us any attention, though.
"Depends on which one you're talking about. I'm heading for the one in LA, currently, because I know a few people there that could help." Elrohir said.
"Ha, I knew you had contacts!" I declared, but Elrohir just shrugged - he'd been steadily sobering up since we set foot on dry land again, and now seemed to be entirely focused on finding and rescuing Kari.
"Are you getting anything from Kari?" I asked softly after a moment.
"No." he said, and the pain and worry Elrohir put into that single word was heart-wrenching. Silence fell. Then Glorfindel, having become tired of the scenery and now being bored and uncomfortable, set about wriggling through the window into the back of the truck, since there was more room back there. I took the opportunity to smack his butt a few times...which resulted in him lifting the lyrics to a few annoying traveling songs from my mind, causing me to first squawk in alarm, and then groan.
Shortly, all the passengers in the back of the truck, having been hauled away from the windows by Glorfindel, were to be heard singing '100 bottles of mirovur on the wall'. It was amusing enough for the first couple verses, as Glorfindel did a passable imitation of a conductor directing a chorus, but then it just because what that song always is - annoying. Elrohir and I decided discretion was the better part of valor, and shut the connecting window. The song quieted by only a few decibels.
After a short tactical discussion, Elrohir and I then determined that the best defense was a good offence, so we opened the window the back again and flipped on the radio. To the rock station. Ecthelion was the first to break under that, leaning through the window far enough that he could push a button - any button - on the stereo. He happened to hit the button that changed from radio to CD - and Britney Spears began blasting over the speakers, before Elrohir quickly flipped the stereo off. I stared at Elrohir in shock, while Ecthelion returned to the back of the truck, everyone back there sighing in relief.
"You...listen to Britney Spears?" I finally managed to ask.
"No, it's Kari's CD." Elrohir said flatly.
"Liar. She hates Britney Spears." I accused.
"No, it's hers!" Elrohir said defensively.
"I don't believe you." I declared. Elrohir glanced at me, and then sighed.
"We ran into Britney Spears once, and she flirted with me for an hour before giving me a signed CD - seemed completely oblivious to both the ring on my finger and Kari. Kari has since played the CD every opportunity she gets, just to aggravate me. So, it is Kari's CD." he said, glancing at me in irritation, as I had started laughing halfway through his explanation. He finally just shook his head and started ignoring me, making it a rather boring drive down to LA. Well, until I found a pad of paper and a pen, and then coerced random people in the back to play random traveling games with me - when they weren't oooing and aaahing over the scenery again, that is.
Elrohir finally announced that we were nearing his and Kari's house, however, and I began to pay attention - and blinked in surprise at my surroundings. I could see maybe two houses from where I was - because the houses surrounding us were not houses, they were estates, and you could only ever see one or two at a time from any give spot on the ground because they and their grounds were just that big.
"Wow. How much money DO you two have, anyways?" I asked, peering around myself.
"Well, in the banks, only about ten million." Elrohir said with a frown. "Our total assets, however, are somewhere over two billion. We have it set up to be distributed to various charities and scientific research organizations once we 'die'." I gaped at Elrohir, and then shook my head.
"Of course. Kari would have been able to play the stock market like a puppet." I said, somewhat dazedly.
"Mm, indeed." Elrohir said, and then paused before continuing, "And we're actually responsible for Tolkien writing the books that you read about the War of the Ring."
"Really?" I said, staring at Elrohir. Elrohir squirmed uncomfortably.
"Well, see, I got drafted to the war, and got wounded, and ended up talking deliriously to Tolkien." he said. "He actually had most of Middle-Earth already made up - I think the Valar might have been subtly influencing him for whatever reason, remind me to ask them about that when we get back - but I rambled on about the last time I was wounded so badly, which was during the War of the Ring, and...Well, you can guess the rest."
"He took the story you told him and set it in 'his' world, and tada." I said with amusement, and Elrohir nodded as he pulled into a driveway of a particularly graceful - and generally Elvish-looking - manor. He stopped at the gate and keyed in the access code, and then we were on our way into the estate. A butler met us at the door to the main building.
"Welcome back, Master Perethil." he said solemnly. Glorfindel and Gil-galad suppressed snickers at the name.
"It's good to be back, Bernard." Elrohir said, shooting a warning glare at the two Elf Lords behind them.
"How was your trip?" Bernard inquired politely as he led us through the house to a sitting room.
"Interesting, to say the least. Has anyone been looking for me?" Elrohir asked.
"Quite." Bernard replied. "Several government agencies were here looking for you." He gave a disdainful sniff. "Made a horrible mess of the floors - I had to throw out a few carpets. Still, they were better than the army."
"The army was here?" I asked, my eyebrows shooting upwards, and then turned to Elrohir with an appreciative whistle. "Well, that settles it. This has gone beyond the FBI. Looks like we're dealing with the entire US government now." Elrohir sighed and nodded as we entered the sitting room Bernard apparently had in mind. The rest of our group immediately began investigating the place, but Elrohir and I sat.
"What did you tell them, and has there been anything on the news about it?" Elrohir asked the butler.
"I told them nothing, Master Perethil." Bernard replied stiffly, looking highly insulted that Elrohir even had to ask, but then admitted, "I knew nothing to tell them, anyways."
"And the news?" Elrohir pressed.
"Nothing, Master Perethil." Bernard answered. "Not even in the tabloids."
"That's something, at least." Elrohir said with a frown. Silence fell for a moment, as both Elrohir and I thought about what one was to do when the entire government was hunting you but wasn't admitting that they were hunting you, and you didn't want the public at large to know that they were hunting you because then they would probably WANT you hunted. Bernard broke the silence finally.
"If I may inquire, Master Perethil - will Mistress Perethil be joining us shortly?" he asked carefully, and Elrohir winced, a haunted look entering his face.
"Mistress Perethil is the reason that the government agencies and the army were here." I said, hoping to spare Elrohir some of the pain, while at the same time, my mind was working furiously as I came up with an alternate story to tell this butler - loyal though he may be - so that, should he be questioned again, he would know nothing that the government wished to know. "They have erroneously concluded that she was responsible for trying to smuggle several tactical missiles to Cuba." Bernard let out a startled exclamation, and Elrohir sighed.
"This is a fact." he said with a small spark of amusement, and then started and suddenly stood, glancing nervously around the room. He turned to me then, and said something that, at first, sounded like gibberish. I stared at him, not understanding.
"Is nole?" I asked in confusion, and then a long-buried memory surfaced as I recalled the made-up language Kari and I had created, and my eyes widened. "OH! Izno'l!" I exclaimed, then looked at everyone else, and glanced at Elrohir curiously. He shook his head, and then turned to Bernard.
"I'm afraid we must leave now, Bernard." he said with a regretful sigh. "This was but a stop on our way, I'm afraid. It was nice to see you."
"Surely you can stay for afternoon tea, Master Perethil?" Bernard asked with a frown.
"I'm afraid not - we really must be going." Elrohir insisted, and then he and I ushered the rest of our - confused - group out of the manor and back to the truck. This time, I forced everyone into the back, and sat there myself, while Elrohir drove out of the estate at a break-neck speed. Within half an hour, we were far away from his and Kari's house, trapped in rush hour traffic on our way to down-town LA. Finally, we managed to pull into a Dairy Queen Restaurant's parking lot, and after ordering everyone ice cream, we sat in the truck, and Elrohir and I explained about surveillance, bugs, and other reasons why it wasn't safe to return to any of Elrohir and Kari's houses.
"There's one exception to this avoidance, however." Elrohir said once we'd finished. "In case of an emergency like this one, Kari and I put a million dollars and an apartment building in New York under a different name." Elrohir glanced up at me with amusement. "Your name, in fact. We had to clear up some confusion with the bank, since they thought that we actually did mean you." I stared at him blankly for a moment, then squawked and fell off the tailgate of the truck, just narrowly avoiding hitting my head against the concrete. After I recovered, I glared at Elrohir accusingly.
"You scared the hell out of me! Gods, did you two PURPOSELY dress like some misbegotten, ugly vampires!" I demanded, and started throwing chunks of grass at Elrohir, who yelped and tried to hide behind Glorfindel.
"What happened now?" Elladan piped up, looking curious.
"In order to clear up the 'misunderstanding' with the bank, Elrohir and Kari had to come to a meeting with me and one of the bank managers." I growled. "They disguised themselves thoroughly - and scared the bejeezers out of me. They were the creepiest, scariest, all around evilest looking people I'd ever run across. Not to mention butt ugly." Elrohir grinned.
"Well, Kari HAD just come off of being a make-up artist in Hollywood, and we couldn't very well have your younger self recognizing Kari, now, could we?" he said.
"She is a disturbed freak." I muttered, sitting on the tailgate of the truck again and scowling.
"Consider it delayed revenge for the purple." Elrohir said with a smirk, and I glared harder at him. After a moment, Gil-galad broke the silence.
"So we shall be going to this 'New York', then?" he asked. Elrohir shook his head.
"It's too far away, and besides, Kari and I haven't been on that side of the US in years. I know of no one there that could, or would, help us. All our contacts for this era are here." he said. "So we'll have to tap into our bank account and rent an apartment here. But that limits our funds considerably."
"So no black-market buying of P90's for the entire group?" I said, a smile twitching at the corners of my mouth.
"No, I'm afraid not." Elrohir drawled in reply. "Though that is a good idea."
"Well, it would probably be a good idea to buy Kevlar body armour for everyone, anyways." I said. "And THAT costs a pretty penny."
"Mmm, about a grand a vest. If you get it legally." Elrohir agreed, and I made a face.
"I thought you said armour isn't any use in this Age?" Calenda asked curiously.
"The armour you're used to isn't of any use, no." I replied. "But this Age has developed its own type of armour to deal with its own weapons. It's about as reliable as the armour you're used to, at any rate - though it usually only comes in vests, protecting the heart and chest area."
"Helmets, too." Elrohir added.
"But we can discuss this later, once we find out more about where Kari's being kept and how to get there." I said. "And speaking of that, we'd better get moving."
"Yes. Off to the bank, then the seedy side of LA to rent an apartment." Elrohir said, heading for the front of the truck. The rest of us scurried into our places - Elladan claimed the front seat on this ride - and we were off to the nearest bank.
----To Be Continued...with furniturization (AKA, Rachel making up words again)!----
-Authors Note-
So, for those of you who didn't see the review I left on my own reviews page, the reason I didn't manage to update on Sunday is that I got sick. On Saturday. Worst timing a cold has EVER had. Not only hit on my 19th birthday, but on my last day of work before four straight days off. So, instead, I got five days off and have spent most of them sick and/or recovering from being sick. Joy.
Anyways. This cold resulted in me getting severely behind in all my review replying - I'm not sure who I've replied to, and who I haven't, so as a result, I'm just going to do a general thank-you to everyone, and reply to all the reviews for the next chapter diligently! Those that aren't anonymous, at any rate. -peer- I like to leave anonymous reviews on, but please, dear readers, I like it better when you sign in! It enables me to express my personnal heartfealt gratitude for each and every one of your reviews!
Now...I go! -ninja flee-
-Crimson Starlight