-Disclaimer-
Nothing
belongs to me besides the characters of Rachel and Kari, and sometimes
I wonder about them. The rest belongs to the brilliant genius that was
JRR Tolkien...or reality.
:A really MESSED UP version of reality...:
Hey, back in your box, sarcastic voice of unspecified gender!
-7: Ameson-
An hour after we entered the club, our quarry had yet to arrive, and the constant come-ons by guys were starting to have adverse affects on Gil-galad and Glorfindel's psychological stability. Finally, Elrohir grabbed them both and removed them from the general area of the dance floor, leading them to where I was sitting, now alone, at the bar.
"Time for a little drink." Elrohir said, and then promptly ordered three of the strongest alcoholic beverage the bar served - a drink unique to the club, named the Insider Acid.
"A 'little' drink?" I asked, arching an eyebrow.
"Well, it is rather weak compared to mirovur." Elrohir said, handing Glorfindel and Gil-galad their drinks - which, to the amazement of the barman, they downed in one gulp.
"Everything's weak compared to a drink that's almost pure alcohol and has been sitting around for several centuries." I observed.
"True." Elrohir admitted. "Anyways. Doesn't look like we're going to get a bite. Should we go and come back tomorrow?"
"No." Gil-galad answered for me, and I turned to find him intently watching someone near the entrance to the club. All of us immediately - and oh so intelligently - looked in the same direction. When I realized what we were doing, I immediately turned back the bar, and told Glorfindel to do the same.
"Looks like him." I said cheerfully.
"Yep." Glorfindel said, and then chuckled slightly. Gil-galad looked at us in confusion.
"It's a little suspicious to have us all turning people down all evening, then suddenly focus on one guy that walks in, don't you think?" I said, arching an eyebrow, still smiling, acting as if I was explaining what was funny to Gil-galad.
"Oh. Right." he muttered. "I'm not used to this...at least with Sauron it was simple. You could tell his minions at a glance."
"That's OK. Now, we need to get you and Glorfindel drunk - at least by human standards. Or at least a little tipsy." I said, and ordered two more Insider Acids. I gave Elrohir a nudge, and he took my meaning, having noticed that Gil-galad and Glorfindel had been getting more attention than him on the dance floor, and we started a slightly-louder-than-normal conversation about how Glorfindel and Gil-galad were hopeless and they'd never find boyfriends the way they were going. We then proceeded to force them to drink two more Insider Acids - which should have, by human standards, had them rip-roaring drunk, but had only affected their Elven constitutions a little. After that, we shoved them out onto the dance floor, and sat back to watch.
It didn't take long for things to happen. The word of these two delicious, single men - after we'd told Gil-galad and Glorfindel what type of club it was, we told them to claim to be alone and single - had apparently spread throughout the club, and within five or ten minutes of them returning to the dance floor, the Agent had approached Glorfindel.
"Likes blondes, apparently." Elrohir commented.
"He's probably going for the long hair, actually." I said. "He looks like he likes to be the man in a relationship."
"Whatever the reason, it's good. At least now you can coach Glory on what to say." Elrohir replied.
"True." I said with a chuckle, just as a frantic mental call from Glorfindel about how to dance with a guy came my way. Gil-galad soon drifted back to the bar with us - after being snagged for a few dances himself - and together we watched as Glorfindel hit it off with the agent. Glorfindel relayed information he gleaned to me, and so we discovered that the agent's current name was Kenny McCarry, and his cover story was that he worked at an accounting firm. Of course, I was required to give Glorfindel similar information to give to Agent McCarry - so Glorfindel ended up being Finn Rogers, who was in the publishing business, something McCarry wasn't likely to know much about, while I knew bits and pieces.
"How're we going to get from point A, being now, to point B, being getting our agent to tell us everything he knows about Kari, anyways?" I asked Elrohir quietly.
"Get him to leave the club with Glory, and then ambush him." Elrohir replied, as if it was the most obvious thing in the world.
"And how are we going to do that?" I asked.
"How much alcohol have you had?" Elrohir asked me.
"A fair bit." I replied, eyeing him warily.
"Enough to make you drunk by human standards?" he asked, tilting his head to one side, and I nodded.
"Good, so have I. Let's dance." he said, grabbing me and heading towards the dance floor. Gil-galad stared after us in surprise. He wasn't half as surprised as me, however - especially when Elrohir started grinding with me. I grinned once I figured out what Elrohir was doing, however, and replied in kind. When nothing had happened after a couple of minutes, Elrohir went one step further and started putting his hands where they had no place going, especially in public. Right when he was getting desperate enough to risk Glorfindel's wrath by trying to kiss me - I was already exerting all my mental pressure to keep Glory from attacking Elrohir, repeating over and over again that it was for the greater good and I'd make it up to him later - one of the club's bouncers tapped Elrohir on the shoulder and politely suggested that he stop, or at least move it to a less public part of the club.
Elrohir, of course, immediately replied with a rude gesture, and when the bouncer insisted, Elrohir started ranting about discrimination. The bouncer only truly got annoyed when Elrohir started using the word 'fag', however, and less than a minute after Elrohir first used that word, he found himself on his ass outside of the club. I followed him, pretending to be in a snit, and flashed the entire club both middle fingers before I exited the door. Inside, I could hear the club owner getting on the speakers - the club being small enough that the DJ had stopped the music at the commotion - and apologizing to everyone before the music started up again.
:And now, you will suggest that this place isn't all that entertaining anymore and ask Kenneth McCarry if he would like to go for a walk, because you know this nice little coffee shop just around the corner.: I told Glorfindel, just as Gil-galad, confused, exited the club.
:But...I don't: Glorfindel protested.
:And? We need to get him out of the club.: I said, then turned to Elrohir. "Lead the way. Glorfindel's suggesting they leave."
"Right, this way." Elrohir said, and jogged off to the corner. Gil-galad and I followed, Gil-galad still confused and without a clue as to what was going on. He got the idea, however, when Elrohir and I hid ourselves in the shadows of the street, and hid himself as well.
:Is this coffee shop left or right: Glorfindel asked a moment later.
:Right.: I replied, and about a minute later, Glorfindel appeared around the corner, walking beside the FBI agent. We waited until they were past us, and then Elrohir and Gil-galad emerged and, in a few quick moves, had Mr. McCarry on the ground, unconscious. Glorfindel immediately shuddered and edged away from the unconscious man, eyeing him warily.
"Grab his wallet. If it doesn't have his FBI ID in it, we'll need to go ransack his place." I said, and Elrohir complied.
"Nope, it's got it." he said, holding up the FBI ID card. "Real name is Corey Ameson."
"Right. I'll go get the truck." I said, and dashed off. A short while later, I pulled the truck up alongside, and we hoisted Mr. Ameson into the back and drove off. Elrohir, meanwhile, searched Ameson for bugs or trackers, and when he didn't find one, suggested that we make for a hotel.
"What type?" I asked innocently from the drivers seat, making sure my innocent expression was seen by those riding in the back with our dear, unconscious secret agent, and Elrohir gave me a weary look.
"The cheap, no-questions-asked, kind." he said.
"Right! Cheap flea and roach ranch coming up." I declared, and in the rearview mirror, I saw Elrohir shudder. I smirked, and then set about finding a cheap hotel. About half an hour later, when those in the back were starting to get uneasy about Agent Ameson waking up, I finally found one, and fifteen minutes - and no questions - later, we had Agent Ameson tied to the only chair in the hotel room.
"Glorfindel, I believe you should have the honors." Elrohir said, coming out of the bathroom with a pitcher of water, handing it to Glorfindel, who grinned before gleefully splashing the Agent. Two pitchers later, Agent Ameson groaned and cracked open his eyes.
"Welcome back to the land of the conscious, Special Agent Corey Ameson." I quipped, causing his eyes to fly open, a panicked expression crossing his face. Really, though, what did he expect, carrying his FBI ID around in his wallet? He scanned the room quickly - all the while wriggling in an attempt to determine which of his hidden weapons we'd left him with. He stopped, however, a flicker of recognition crossing his face as he spotted Elrohir.
"What's going on? Who are you people?" he demanded.
"To be extremely cliché, we are going to be your worst nightmares if you don't co-operate with us." Elrohir said, his voice dangerously low. Ameson eyed him, and I could almost see him closing up.
"Agent Ameson, I suggest you take his words to heart." I hissed, leaning forward. "Not only have you kidnapped his wife, but he is much older and much more traveled than he seems. He knows torture techniques that even the worst butchers you can think of have never even thought of. And he knows how to heal you up afterwards so he can start all over again." Ameson snarled at me, and Elrohir reached behind the agent and did...something. I don't know what he did, and I'm not sure I ever want to, as when Elrohir withdrew after only a few seconds, the Agent's face was pale, his expression one of pain. His whimper was barely audible, and it took him almost five minutes to recover enough to be able to focus on anything.
I grimaced, thinking of the irony even as Glorfindel pointed it out to me - here we were using torture when we were trying to rescue Kari to prevent HER from being tortured, should anyone in the FBI have, sadly, fallen that low. I could almost justify it by convincing myself that of COURSE someone had fallen that low, but try as I might, it didn't really work - the convincing or the justification.
"Now, I need you to tell me everything you know about the capture and imprisonment of Kari Perethil..." Elrohir said, pulling me out of my thoughts, and his smile was more evil than Sauron could ever have achieved when he had a mortal form.
"I don't know much!" Ameson insisted, whimpering slightly.
"Tell us what you do know, then." I asked.
"Ah - it was some clerk at headquarters who discovered it. They were bored and going through files, and spotted Kari Perethil's forged birth certificate." Ameson said shakily. "We did a full investigation, and discovered not only that all her documents from her younger years were false, but that her 'husband'," here he nodded to Elrohir, who growled at the obvious quotes around the word 'husband', "Also had false documents."
"If you want to remain pain free, I would suggest not implying that Kari and Elrohir aren't actually married." I said dryly. "They are, in fact, soul mates who have been married longer than you could imagine."
"Oh, I don't know about that." Ameson muttered, and when Elrohir made a move towards him, he hastily qualified his remark. "I mean about the time!" Ameson relaxed slightly as Elrohir moved away. "We discovered documents recording Kari and Elroy Perethil's presence in the civilized world going back over three hundred years." I glanced at Elrohir, but chose not to comment on his choice of name as he glared darkly at the Agent.
"Damn, knew I should've worked harder to convince Kari to let me burn down a few more record buildings." he muttered. Ameson frowned, but wisely didn't comment.
"OK, so that's how you found out about them." I said. "How did that turn into kidnapping?"
"Well, it started with simple surveillance." Ameson said. "We held some stake-outs, took some pictures of their associates using telephoto lenses - it was all coming up to nothing until last Christmas, when we hit the jackpot." Elrohir let out a hissing breath, and Ameson smiled somewhat ironically at the Elf. "You know what it was."
"The snowball fight." Elrohir growled. "We went prancing about on top of the freshly fallen snow that we should have fallen right through." Ameson nodded.
"I was the one that spotted it, which was why I was kept on the case when the government decided that the situation had become top secret and classified." the Agent said. "We stepped up surveillance, and discovered the pointed ears and tendency to glow at night. Not to mention the extra speed and strength that they demonstrated when we staged a robbery."
"I always thought there was something fishy about that." Elrohir said with a frown. "But I thought it might've been someone else trying to see if we'd slacked off any." Ameson shrugged.
"After we gave our final report to our superiors, they sent out a special team ordered to bring you both in for questioning and medical examination." the Agent said. "I was the only one, once again, allowed in on the operation, and that was only so I could ID the targets."
"One of those 'targets' was my wife of over five thousand years, who was going, along with me, to shortly be long gone from your world." Elrohir snarled. Ameson just gave Elrohir an ironic look.
"Medical examination?" I interrupted, and Ameson nodded.
"They wanted to determine whether or not we were dealing with humans, and if we were, how they came to be so changed." the Agent said. I glanced worriedly at Elrohir.
"I don't suppose you ever..." I trailed off as he nodded, wearily.
"We don't register as human according to our DNA." he said flatly.
"Damn." I cursed, then turned to Ameson. "So what was the plan if Kari turned out to not be human?" Ameson shrugged, now looking slightly sick.
"Most of us didn't want to think about that, and therefore didn't ask." Ameson said.
"I take it you were one of the ones that didn't want to think about it." I observed. Ameson grimaced and nodded. "Well, you can relax, we're not for-runners of an alien invasion or anything. We're not even aliens. We were here before you." Ameson gave me a 'yeah, right' look, and I just shrugged. Let him believe what he wanted.
"Where is Kari being held now?" Elrohir asked. Ameson shrugged.
"I don't buy that. Why would your identity be changed if you didn't know something of value?" I said, tilting my head to one side. "Like, say, where Kari is being kept."
"I don't know." Ameson stubbornly insisted. Apparently he'd reached the limit of what he was willing to tell without further persuasion. Elrohir started forward, a gleam in his eye, but Glorfindel beat the younger elf to it, a truly terrifying expression on his face that he could have only learned from a Balrog, while a quick mental brush revealing that he was doing this so Elrohir wouldn't have it on his conscience later. Unlike Elrohir, however, Glorfindel didn't even touch the Agent - he just leaned close to Ameson's ear and spoke very quietly for almost a minute, as Ameson kept getting paler and paler and paler.
:I think I, sadly, finally found a use for Orc and Nazgul attacks.: Glorfindel said with a sigh as he pulled away.
"Area 51." Ameson mumbled quietly once Glorfindel had moved a safe distance away. The Agent was, at this point, clearly terrified, though even as I watched, I could see him slowly getting a grip on his emotions.
"So, Agent Ameson, where is the fabled 'Area 51'?" Elrohir asked before Ameson could fully recover, and what control Ameson had instantly disappeared again.
"Uh...I have no idea." he squeaked out, eyeing Glorfindel warily. "Only the head of the FBI and the top agent know where it is!"
"What about the people who work there?" I asked.
"When working there, they live on the base. And when they go there, they disappear at night in a helicopter and aren't seen again until their tenure at the Area is up - and while they're sworn to secrecy about everything concerning the Area, some discrete questioning has revealed that no matter what, it always takes the same amount of time to get there." Ameson said with a shrug. Elrohir and I both watched him intently as he spoke, looking for any sign that he was lying. In the end, our conclusion was the same as the one Glorfindel gave me when Elrohir and I both nodded in satisfaction - Ameson was telling the truth insofar as we could tell.
"And this is a long shot, but anything else you think we might need to know?" I asked dryly.
"Uh, if I don't contact the office tomorrow they'll come looking for me." Ameson, surprisingly, volunteered. I let my surprise show on my face.
"Wow." I commented, then turned to Elrohir. He looked back for a moment, then sighed and rolled his eyes.
"OK, so MAYBE the FBI MIGHT hire SOME smart people." he admitted, and I grinned before turning back to Ameson, who was looking confused.
"So now there's the question of what to do with Agent Ameson during the next day and how to keep the FBI from coming suspicious." Glorfindel mused. I glanced at him, confused, since we'd already planned this out, and then it dawned on me - this was part of making Ameson go willingly to Elrohir's friends in Tibet.
"Well, personally, I'd love to give him a nasty gash on his arm and drop him in shark infested waters with a pail of hardened cement attached to his feet. I've always wondered what the chances in that situation are of getting eaten before you drown." Elrohir said, a nasty gleam in his eyes. Gil-galad whacked the - relatively - young elf over the head, beating the rest of us to it.
"It is past time you went to Valinor to recover from your stay among mortals. You have become far too violent." the High King said with a frown, and Elrohir grimaced as he rubbed the back of his head.
"And who just hit me upside the head?" he asked, then ducked again, quickly, as Gil-galad took another swing at him.
"Not in front of the Agent, boys." Glorfindel said dryly, and Elrohir and Gil-galad looked over at him in mock innocence.
"We're not going to drop him in shark-infested waters with cement shoes on, anyways." I said sternly, seeing Ameson getting worried that no one had refuted Elrohir's suggestion.
"It's not like we could kill him, anyways, since the FBI will come looking for him." Glorfindel pointed out. "He's said as much himself."
"And with the fuss we made they'll have little to no trouble finding us - or at least our descriptions." Elrohir concluded with a sigh.
"If you let me go, I won't tell anyone. I swear!" Agent Ameson spoke up suddenly, speaking quickly, and then recoiling in fear as all of us turned our attention to him.
"There is absolutely nothing you can swear on that would make us believe you." I said dryly.
"You humans these days will sell your greatest secrets if the price is right." Elrohir said mildly.
"Not even my life?" Ameson squeaked out, clearly terrified.
"No, not even your life." Elrohir replied with a vicious grin.
"But, if you're willing to do that...how willing would you be to phone in an emergency vacation to the office?" I inquired curiously.
"Er - very willing." Ameson said, a note of hope creeping into his voice as he looked at me.
"Excellent." I said, then turned to Elrohir. "How about we stick him in a crate and mail him to Tibet?" I suggested innocently. "Didn't you mention you knew some monks there?"
"Indeed I do. What a wonderful idea, Rachel." Elrohir said with a smirk. "And as long as he's as smart as you seem to think and doesn't try to escape, he should survive and eventually be able to return to America again." Elrohir grinned maliciously. I shook my head.
"You have spent FAR too long in this world." I stated.
"Indeed I have." Elrohir said solemnly. "So has Kari. That is why we were trying to go to Valinor. If not for Agent Ameson's little friends, we would have made it, too."
"I know, I know." I said with a sigh, then turned to Ameson and gave him a thoughtful look. He looked somewhat less terrified than before, though he was clearly still frightened and wary.
"You're - er - not actually going to stick me in a CRATE, are you?" he asked tentatively when he saw me looking at him. All of us looked at him blankly for a moment, and then, suddenly, we all collapsed into various forms of laughter.
"No, Agent Ameson," I said between giggles, "We aren't going to put you in an actual crate."
"Though one can survive such a journey in comfort if they have to." Elrohir said with a snicker. "I know, Kari did it once."
"She did? Why?" I asked curiously.
"Well, we'd been doing things on opposite sides of the world for a couple decades, and Kari decided to send me a birthday present. Of herself." Elrohir explained calmly, making it sound like someone mailing themselves around the word in a crate as a birthday present for their significant other was completely logical.
"I suppose if you live long enough in the human world you do eventually do EVERYTHING." I mused, then shook my head. "Anyways. Getting Ameson from here to Tibet." Elrohir nodded and turned solemnly to Ameson.
"We're going to leave you here tonight - with Gil-Galad and Glorfindel guarding you - and then tomorrow morning, we're all going on a little trip to Tibet." Elrohir explained carefully. "Before we go, you're going to phone in an emergency vacation due to a spiritual crisis. You're not going to stop by your apartment, and you're not going to be allowed to say anything other than what we tell you to. Is this understood?" Ameson nodded rapidly.
"I am entirely in favour of anything that results in me keeping my life, even if that life is kept in Tibet." he said sincerely.
"See, smart." I told Elrohir reprovingly.
"We'll see. Words are cheap - if we get him to the monastery in Tibet WITHOUT him trying to escape or his FBI buddies showing up, then I'll admit to him being smarter than he looks." Elrohir said with a grin. "Now, we'd best be getting back to the apartment. Plans to make and all that."
"Actually, Elrohir, would it be too much to have Elladan come and guard with Gil-galad?" Glorfindel asked blandly. For a moment, he and Elrohir locked gazes, and something that I didn't catch passed between them. I looked at Glorfindel curiously, but his mind was surprisingly closed off from mine. I started worrying that maybe I should've explained more clearly to him what he was walking into in the club, even as Elrohir nodded, accepting Glorfindel's suggestion.
"Gil-galad, think you can keep Ameson in one piece - excuse me, one place - until Elladan gets here?" Elrohir asked the High King, who smirked at the Agent - causing Ameson to grimace and edge away from him. Well, as much as he could considering he was tied to a chair, and any hint of him trying to move the actual chair would likely result in about eight different bladed weapons being pressed to his throat or pointed at his heart.
"I think I can manage. After all, I have lots of wonderful stories that I haven't told anyone yet. Like what it feels like to have Sauron's sword jabbed into your gut, up into your ribcage, and then twisted, before being flung hundreds of feet to land in a bloody mess that, thankfully, takes only a few moments longer to die." Gil-galad grinned.
"Well there's not many listeners for a tale like that in Valinor." Glorfindel said dryly, then turned back to Elrohir and I. "Shall we go?"
"Let's." Elrohir said, and out we went. We jumped in the truck and headed back to the apartment, where we found Elladan already waiting outside for us. Apparently Elrohir had used whatever mental connection the twins had to tell Elladan that he was needed. So, since Elrohir needed to drive Elladan to the hotel where Gil-galad was now staying, it was only Glorfindel and I who entered the apartment. Calenda and Ecthelion started asking questions the instant we entered, of course - but Glorfindel didn't even slow down for them.
"Ask Gil-galad." was all he said, with a pointed look at Calenda, as he hauled me into our room and closed - almost slammed - the door. Now thoroughly worried, I was opening my mouth to start apologizing to Glorfindel, when I abruptly found it otherwise occupied. Very confused, I simply responded to Glorfindel's kiss, and when he pulled away, I let my confusion show on my face, even as my insides started going melty from the look he was giving me. I vaguely wondered if Glorfindel was taking me up on my offer of 'making it up to him' a little earlier than I'd planned (I figured before we left I'd borrow Elrohir's credit card again and rent the most expensive room in the most expensive hotel in town and spend the night there with Glorfindel) but when Glorfindel explained, I realized that while this COULD be taken as making it up to Glorfindel, it really wasn't, and so I could still go ahead with my plans (which I was immensely happy about...after that day in the Lothlorien hot springs with Glorfindel oh-so-long-ago, I REALLY wanted to get Glorfindel into a hot tub).
"In the course of a few hours, I have had my sexuality questioned by no less than three dozen men, been unable to correct a single one of them due to the need of a greater good, even had to lead one of them on, and furthermore, I have had to watch another Elf dance with my wife in a way only I should be allowed to do." Glorfindel growled, then kissed me again. :I'm feeling the need to assert both my sexuality and my claim.: he continued mentally.
:Fine by...uh...: I trailed off as Glorfindel started doing something interesting with his tongue. :What was I saying:
:Absolutely nothing.: Glorfindel informed me with a mental smirk as he picked me up and carried me to the bed.
After that, coherent thought, at least on my end, pretty much ended.
----To Be Continued...with Aviophobia!----
-Authors Note-
This
chapter is cheerily dedicated to the original romantic pairing of
TGotG, before Glorfindel butted his way in - that pairing being Rachel
and Elladan (OK, so Elladan wasn't available for this chapter, but
still, Elrohir is the next best thing). Yes, this was supposed to be a
TwinFic, but Elladan just didn't measure up in the end, so I went with
Glorfindel instead. You can see evidence of it right up to the end of
Chapter 28 in Book One, when Rachel leaves the Hall of Fire without
Elladan.
In other news, sorry for the delay, but I had some serious troubles with this chapter. For one thing, it was just hard to write, and get right. It wasn't until I got a brain spurt at 11pm last night that I managed to get it touched up and finished off to my satisfaction. Also, I'm in the middle of a week and a half almost straight of work. The only day I've had off since the 21st was yesterday. On the plus side, however, I now have my own computer, in my room, so when I get brain spurts at eleven at night, I can actually do something about them now, since I can't use the main computer in the house after 10pm.
Yep...and that's it for me for today, I think. Oh, except for a note that my next update might be awhile in coming, too. I'll try to get it up next Tuesday, but, well, I may get distracted. -smirk-
So, until my next update, May It Not Be Long In Coming, thank you to all my readers, and special cyber cookies on top of thank yous to all my reviewers, and I'll see you soon!
Namarie,
-Crimson Starlight