Innocence of Mine Chapter 12 Homecoming, a ranma fanfic

Innocence of Mine

By Douglas Helm and "Tuxedo" Will Wolfshohl

Those characters that are original and the story "Innocence of Mine" are copyrighted ©2006 ShoujoFiction .com by Douglas Helm and Will Wolfshohl. Ranma ½ characters are copyrighted by Rumiko Takahashi.

This story and our many other stories reside at our Shoujo Fiction dot com domain. Comments are welcomed and encouraged.

Chapter 12 - Homecoming

A gentle tapping on her door awakened Nabiki Tendo that morning. She wrinkled her nose slightly and shifted while pulling the thick blankets up over her head. "Too early," she grumbled to the unseen person on the other side of the door.

"Nabiki, I know school's closed today because of the weather but if you want breakfast, you'll have to get up and get dressed now." It was just a courtesy. Kasumi fully expected her sister to sleep in.

Nabiki bolted upright instantly shivering in the chilly air of her bedroom. 'School closed?' she thought muddily for a moment and then a large grin spread across her face as the news registered. 'School's closed! Sugoi! I can play all day! Maybe Mommy will let Minako-chan and Ruri-chan come over.' She bounced a few times in glee, feeling oddly off-balance, and then she flung herself out of bed to go and help wake Akane up, only to land hard on the floor as her ankles twisted together. "Owie... owie, owie, owie..." Nabiki moaned. Then pushing herself up, she gave the floor a rather hard punch. "Baka! Why'd you jump in front of me?" She then stuck her tongue out at it.

As she sat there pouting on the floor, she felt something was amiss. Everything in her room seemed smaller. It was then that Nabiki noticed that her hand was larger than it should've been. Her eyes grew wider as her other hand came into view. She wriggled her fingers and giggled. Her gaze traveled to her bare feet. Where were her bunny-footed pajama bottoms? Another thing, the familiar tickle of her long brunette hair on her back was missing. She felt for her hair. Why was it cut so short? She knew she would have a hard time making pigtails with it like this. Deciding to forge ahead, she stood up, feeling quite funny and off-kilter. She looked down and gazed in amazement at her long slender legs and shapely thighs. Apparently, all her night clothing consisted of was a pair of panties and a navy blue T-shirt with the word "China" stretched across its front.

'Whose is this?' It wasn't hers or Akane's. It seemed to be more styled for a boy than a girl. It suddenly occurred to her, "It's Daddy's!" She giggled and hugged herself pleased that she'd figured it out on her own.

The giggle was cut short however, when she felt something jiggle. "Nani?" It took a few seconds of pushing and prodding before she worked up the nerve to peek inside the neck of her shirt. "BOOBIES!" Nabiki whooped in delight. It was then she knew for sure. "I'm all grown-up!"

She started prancing about her room only to trip and fall again. "Owie..." Grumbling, the young woman frowned for a moment before a new thought entered her head. 'I bet I'm bigger than she is now. Akane-chan's gonna be SOOO jealous!'

Opening the door, Nabiki rushed out of her room careful to mind her footing, and skipped into her sister's room. Akane was lying flat on her back, arms flung wide, and snoring heavily.

'Lucky! Onee-chan's still asleep.' "Akane-oneechan!" Nabiki greeted, "Ne! Onee-chan!"

"Uerm..."

"Ne, AK-A-NE!"

"Go away!" Akane grumbled.

The seventeen year old hopped onto her sister's bed and started bouncing while saying, "Get up! Get up! Get up!"

"Nabiki, get lost..." The youngest Tendo sister opened one eye to glare balefully at her early morning tormentor. Almost immediately, Akane sat up and stared at her. "Nabiki, what are you doing wearing Ranma's shirt?"

"Aww... You're big too, Onee-chan," Nabiki pouted dejectedly. Akane, however, was ignoring the teen; she was much more interested in what her sister was wearing.

"I said WHY ARE YOU WEARING RANMA'S SHIRT?" Akane demanded at considerable volume.

"'Cause I'm special!" she giggled. "Daddy..." Nabiki trailed off. The sight of fur-covered bunny ears jetting from Akane's head interrupted her. Nabiki's mind registered the fact that the events of last night must have really happened. She was back to being Nabiki Tendo, seventeen year old middle sister, as she requested. 'I'm home, Na-chan...' Before she could comment further, Akane gave a battle cry, leapt from her bed, and rushed from the room in her pajamas, completely unaware that her bunny ears had vanished during the process.

Nabiki stood staring after her sister for a moment, and then a panicked expression crossed her face. 'Darn! She's gonna tattle on me!' The thought of what her parents would do if they found out she'd snuck out of the house wasn't pleasant.

"A-KA-NE!" Nabiki shouted and chased after her sister. She was still unsteady on her feet and didn't fancy on running down the stairs. On the other hand, she had little choice. She couldn't risk letting Akane tell on her so the teenager flung her right leg over the banister and slid down the stairs.

# # # # #

"Akane," Ranma Saotome exclaimed desperately while backing into a corner, "What are ya talkin' about?" His fiancée had chased him from the dojo into the house.

"Your shirt!" Akane shouted glowering at her wayward fiancé, "My ONEE is wearing YOUR shirt!"

"Uh... It'd be kinda big on you, ne Akane?"

"What do you mean by THAT, PERVERT?"

"I'm a guy," the sixteen year old martial artist answered smoothly.

Akane glowered. "That's not the point, Ranma. Why is Nabiki wearing it?"

The younger Saotome shrugged. "Why does Nabiki do anything? Probably gonna blackmail me again or something." Soun and Genma in his panda form, who had both been hiding from Akane's wrath, peered around the doorway to see what the delay in today's explosion was. By and large, the youngest Tendo had booted Ranma out of the house by this point.

"A-KA-NE!" came Nabiki's desperately pleading voice from the next room, "DON'T BE SO MEAN!"

"Eh?" Soun asked his longtime friend. Genma-panda just shrugged.

"Nabiki?" Ranma asked while turning towards the sound. The next instant, he blinked as Nabiki flew into the room and promptly tackled Akane who went down in a tangle of arms and legs.

"Nabiki, what are you doing?" Akane demanded, pushing the girl off.

The middle sister for her part immediately bounced to her feet and launched herself at Ranma who was starting to look much as he usually did when Shampoo glommed onto him. "Akane-oneechan's being mean!" Nabiki cried.

"Hey! Just wait a min..." Ranma started to complain.

Meanwhile, Nabiki had wrapped her arms affectionately about Ranma's neck and was doing a fairly good job of hanging off of him. "I didn't do nothing wrong, Daddy!" Nabiki protested.

"Uh... okay..." Ranma agreed uneasily.

"Daddy? What are you up to, Nabiki?" Akane demanded apprehensively, her aura flaring.

"Nothing, Akane-chan," the scantily-clad teenager remarked innocently, "'Cause I'm a good girl." She hoped that Akane had decided not to tattle.

"Yeah right, and I'm Empress of Japan," her sister scoffed.

"Am too!"

"Are not!"

"Am too! Am too!" Nabiki shouted.

"Minna, breakfast is ready!" Kasumi called at this point, "We should all settle down and eat while it's hot."

"Yeah!" Nabiki cheered. She let go of Ranma so forcefully he staggered and slumped to the floor. He and Akane watched in bewilderment as Nabiki ran around the table and gave Kasumi a large hug. "You look really pretty today."

"Arigato. I thought you would sleep in, Nabiki-chan," Kasumi commented to her younger sister.

"Not with school closed, Mommy," the middle sister gushed. "'Sides, I can't miss Miko-chan and Niko-chan." As if that reminded her, Nabiki ran over to the television and turned it on, rapidly flipping through the channels and completely oblivious to the family who was staring after her.

"Miko-chan and...? What's she up to, Ranma?" Akane asked Ranma suspiciously in a whisper.

"Not a clue," he whispered back. He watched the middle Tendo sister nervously.

"Nabiki? Are you okay?"

"Hai!" Nabiki squeaked and settled back at the table, intently watching the television.

"Why did you tackle me, Onee-chan?" Akane asked.

"Shhh... Miko-chan is on."

"So Nabiki," Soun began, settling down on the opposite side of the table, "What are you planning to do today?"

"I'm watchin' TV!" his daughter whined while throwing him a death level glare.

"Oh... Gomen," Soun mumbled and then promptly burst into tears.

# # # # #

Kasumi sat quietly eating breakfast but watching with mounting concern as Ranma grew more agitated. This was puzzling to the eldest Tendo daughter because normally she could see what was agitating the young martial artist. At first, she had thought it was Nabiki but she quickly dismissed that idea; her sister was not only being energetic this morning but very pleasant, not normally a combination Nabiki was known for, especially in the early morning hours.

She sighed internally as the more likely source of the aggravation came to mind. Akane was being hostile both to Nabiki, which seemed to be distressing Nabiki, and Ranma, more than usual. Nabiki was certainly acting strange, almost childish, but why it was provoking Akane to such an extent, Kasumi didn't know. Apparently, Akane believed Nabiki's odd behavior was being caused by Ranma, which was unfair.

The eldest Tendo daughter was distracted from her thoughts when Ranma asked her, "Ne, Kasumi, where's the old fart?"

"Happosai-ojiisan said he needed to leave today."

"That's right, Ranma," Genma chimed in, "The master mentioned something about returning something to a cave. Something he hadn't meant to bring back."

"Shucks!" Nabiki exclaimed. "I wanted Ojii-sama to play with me."

Akane and Ranma turned to stare at Nabiki in surprise. "You did?"

"Hai, Onee-chan, with all this snow, we could make snow angels..." She giggled. With Happosai gone, she even more hoped that Minako and Ruri could come over to join them.

"Happosai is definitely NOT an angel," her sister disagreed. 'Kuso! What's with this 'onee-chan' bit?' Why hadn't Nabiki revealed the real reason for this charade?

"Ojii-sama's very nice," Nabiki retorted. "Be nice, Akane-chan, or I'll tell him you was bein' mean to me."

"You only think he's nice because he doesn't grope your breasts every chance he gets!" Akane shot back.

"Nani? What's a piece of chicken got to do with Ojii-sama?"

Genma (still in panda form) and Soun raised their eyebrows, both internally applauded Nabiki's strategy. They couldn't figure out what her primary goal was but she was certainly being sneaky about it. Their progeny were knocked completely off-balance by Nabiki's little girl act.

"Kami-sama, Nabiki, I wasn't talking about chicken!" the youngest Tendo sputtered. "I was talking about these!" She thumped her chest.

Nabiki gave her sister a deeply quizzical look. "I don't think so, Onee-chan." 'Ojii-sama wouldn't do that.'

"Well, I was!"

"Nope!" Nabiki huffed while turning back to her scrambled eggs.

"I WAS SO!" Akane shouted, "I WAS TALKING ABOUT THAT HENTAI HAPPOSAI GROPING MY BREASTS!" 'What's wrong with her?'

Nabiki rolled her eyes, dropped her spoon, and commanded, "Wait here," With that, she got up and left the room. The group waited in silence for about a minute. When Nabiki came back into the room, she had a package of chicken with her and said carefully to Akane, as if she were a grade-schooler, "See, silly, it says right here CHICKEN breasts." She set the poultry onto the table, grabbed the hem of her T-shirt, and hiked it up. "THESE are boobies."

Soun, who had been drinking juice at this point, spewed it, hitting Ranma in the process.

"Oh yuck!" Ranma now in girl form groused. "Man, Tendo-san, now I'll have to wash this shirt and I just put it on."

"I'll do it, Daddy!" Nabiki offered, thankfully letting her T-shirt hem fall back down over her hips.

"Don't worry about the baka shirt!" Akane shouted at Ranma-chan, "Worry about the fact that my onee has completely lost it!"

The busty redhead dropped her hands from the front of her shirt, regarded Akane, and stated, "You're just jealous, Akane, 'cause she's... I mean WE'VE got something to flaunt." She stuck out her pin-up chest to emphasize her point. Nabiki watched in horror as Akane slammed Ranma-chan through the wall. Suddenly her face crumpled as she burst into tears and ran from the room.

"Oh my..." Kasumi said to nobody in particular. Getting up, she left the room following after her distraught sister.

# # # # #

Kasumi left the living room, sighing internally, and wandered towards the stairs. 'Why does Akane have to cause so much trouble?' the coed mused to herself, 'It would be nice to have a halfway normal family meal for once.' She sighed as a particularly large crash sounded from the living room. 'And why is she going on about Nabiki?'

Said Tendo sister was sitting on the steps sniffling and looking very unhappy. "Nabiki-chan, are you okay?"

"Why does Akane have to be such a bully?"

"What do you mean?"

"Well... She hits Da... Ranma-san all the time. It ain't fair."

"I don't think she does it ALL the time, Nabiki-chan," Kasumi soothed.

"She shouldn't do it at all, Mommy."

"Why don't you go and get dressed?" Kasumi suggested. "I'm going to go check to see if Otou-san needs anything else." Nabiki gave a sad sort of nod and wandered upstairs. Her sister stood there watching her go and feeling slightly worried.

When she came back into the family room, Akane was saying, "...Don't get what she's up to... I mean this is really weird. She was perfectly fine yesterday."

"Akane-chan, why do you think Nabiki is up to anything?" Kasumi asked naively.

Akane gave her a look that said Kasumi was missing something. "Come on, 'Nee-chan, she's actin' like a little kid! Next, she'll want to play with dolls, or help you bake cookies."

Kasumi cast a look at Ranma (back in boy form) who was nursing his face and then remarked to Akane quietly, "Sometimes, Imouto, you act like a three year old." With that, she turned and left the room. 'Maybe Nabiki would like to help me bake cookies.'

Mounting the stairs, Kasumi paused at the top. She cocked her head to the side and then felt her stomach knot slightly - someone was crying. Hurrying down the hallway, she eventually came to Nabiki's room. She observed the seventeen year old sitting on the floor looking exceptionally unhappy, tears running down her cheeks, and her nose red. She still had not gotten dressed.

"Nabiki-chan!" Kasumi exclaimed in alarm.

Nabiki's head came up. The young woman stared at her for a moment before Nabiki gave out a strangled cry, launched herself at her sister and flung her arms about her. "Mommy!" Nabiki wailed; her crying increasing in volume.

"Nabiki-chan, Okaa-san is dead."

"I know!" came the heart-rending reply, "And I want Mommy back!" Kasumi wrapped her arms about Nabiki and held her sister close.

"I want her back too," Kasumi admitted. Stroking the teenager's hair, she continued gently, "You need to calm down, Nabiki-chan, or you'll make yourself sick. You wouldn't want Akane mad at you." The other girl shook her head and tightened her hug, clinging to Kasumi as if a great storm was raging about her.

'You can't cry!' the nineteen year old caretaker told herself sternly, 'You need to see to Otou-san and the Saotomes. What would Daddy think if he found me and Nabiki bawling about Okaa-san?' "Now," she said gently pushing the tearful teen away, "Nabiki-chan, go lay down on your bed. Maybe I can have Tofu-sensei come over and see you."

"He'll never make it, Mom-Onee-chan," Nabiki stated gloomily, staring at the snow-covered ground outside.

"Nonsense, he's not that far away and I'm sure he'll try his best. The snow is already letting up."

"That's not what I meant," the teen interjected, shaking her head slowly, sadly, it seemed. "He'll take one look at you, or hear your voice, and go completely goofy and won't come around for a long, long time. He'll probably grab Betty-chan (AKA Tofu's office skeleton) and start dancing through the snow."

Kasumi stared at her younger sister. "Nani?"

Nabiki, who by this point was looking thoroughly miserable, gave Kasumi a pitying look and stated. "Tofu-sensei REALLY REALLY LIKES YOU LOTS."

"That can't be, Nabiki!" Kasumi gasped, raising a hand to her mouth, eyes widening slightly. The good doctor was handsome (for an "older" man) and a friend of the family but nothing more.

"Is so, Mommy," Nabiki assured her, a smile flicking across her lips. "When he hears your name, his glasses steam up and he gets all jumpy and weird. If you're in the same room or touch him or anything, he zones completely out."

"Tofu-sensei loves..." 'Could it be true?'

"I ain't fibbing. Tofu-sensei likes you BIG time, Mommy."

"I'm not Okaa-san," Kasumi corrected gently, worry marring her features. Something was seriously wrong with her sister. This was no ruse.

"I know, 'Sumi-'neechan," Nabiki admitted softly. She hugged the coed again, pressing her face against Kasumi's bosom drawing warmth and comfort, and continued, "But when Okaa-san died, you took care of us all... And nobody ever took care of you."

'Arigato... But why is she suddenly bringing all this up?' "Na-chan," she began using her sister's old nickname, "Lay back down and I'll ask Daddy to call Tofu-sensei then."

"I'll just clean up first, Mommy." The teenager then gave Kasumi a peck on the cheek and skipped out of the room leaving the eldest Tendo daughter feeling confused and sad. And as Nabiki's footsteps faded away in the distance, a single tear rolled down Kasumi's cheek.

# # # # #

A short time later, Dr. Tofu Ono was the front door of the Tendo residence carrying his medical bag. When the door opened, he was disappointed to see Akane, looking upset, in front of him.

"Ka-Kasumi called m-me, A-Akane-san," Tofu stuttered, his glasses were beginning to steam up.

"She's upstairs with Nabiki, Tofu-sensei," Akane indicated. She then gave him an odd look. "Will you be okay with Kasumi-onee in the room?"

"She is family after all," the physician assured her. He removed his snow boots, put on a pair of guest slippers, and heading towards the stairs.

"Hiya Doc," Ranma greeted coming out into the hallway. "Hope ya can figure out what's got Nabiki all in a twist. I ain't never seen her like this."

"I should be able to, Saotome-kun," Tofu replied and headed up the stairs. He froze at the top when he saw Kasumi Tendo waiting for him. Much to his distress, he could feel that cloud of giddy anticipation descending over him. He then regarded the nineteen year old's face. Her normally tranquil, beautiful features were marred by worry. There was also a steely edge about her. Something that made the fog vanish.

Tofu moved forward. "Ohayo Kasumi-san."

"Ohayo, Sensei," Kasumi greeted. "I'm glad you came over. Nabiki is acting quite strange."

"Oh?"

"Would you like to examine her first or ask me questions?"

Tofu gulped and after a brief moment decided, "Examine her first."

"She wants me with her, Sensei, if that's all right," Kasumi told him. He nodded. She turned to lead the way into Nabiki's room. Dr. Tofu followed closely behind her.

# # # # #

Later, Dr. Tofu Ono entered the living room of the Tendo residence having completed his examination of Nabiki Tendo. He regarded the gathered people there, suppressing mild disappointment at the lack of Kasumi's company. She had decided to remain with Nabiki, who had stridently demanded a lollipop for being a good girl during his visit.

"How is she, Sensei?" Soun asked. The patriarch of the Tendo Family was holding up remarkably well under the circumstances.

"Minna, Nabiki was a little upset so I gave her a mild sedative. She's resting quietly upstairs. Physically, she is fine." Here the young physician paused. "I'm not a specialist on mental health issues." He was disappointed to note the blank look on both Saotome's faces. He was also surprised to see Soun's expression of worried understanding. "From what I have gleaned, Nabiki is finally starting to deal with her suppressed emotions over the death of her mother."

"After all this time?"

"Is that why she's acting like a little kid?" Akane questioned.

"Hai, Akane-san," Tofu nodded.

Genma-panda held up a sign that read, "Did Cologne do anything?" The others blinked at him. When they continued to stare, the sign was flipped over showing, "Nani?"

"I don't think Shampoo was here, Pop," Ranma answered. "I would've known... And that old hag wouldn't've come here alone." He grimaced. "Mousse maybe but I can't see an angle on why he'd go after Nabiki. Besides, potions ain't his style."

"Ranma's correct. It's very unlikely that a potion could be the catalyst. Nabiki's aura is balanced." Better than normal for her, he wanted to tell them. "Potions and other similar substances tend to alter the flow of energy within the body. I also did not find any evidence of pressure point usage. Bodily, Nabiki is a perfectly healthy seventeen year old adolescent girl."

"Is my musume in any danger, Sensei?" Soun asked with a worried look on his face.

Tofu paused, completely flummoxed by the fact that the eldest Tendo had not yet burst into tears. "As I said, Tendo-san, I'm not a specialist in this area but temporary regression is not unheard in such cases as a coping mechanism. I think that as Nabiki works through her feelings though, she'll..." He searched for the right word. "She'll begin to come back to what we think of as the normal Nabiki. Some things might change for the better though."

"Oh..." Ranma piped in, a hopeful expression coming onto his face. He turned to his father. "SEE, ojii, even Nabiki misses her mom." The elder Saotome had the good sense to cower back from his son.

"But why did this happen now?" Akane asked, sounding dubious.

"I can't answer that right now," Tofu commented, "At the moment, Nabiki knows she's seventeen but behaviorally she acts much younger - perhaps seven or eight." He considered for a moment. "In my opinion, normal grief counseling is not an option as things stand now. The main difficulty will be if her regression into a little girl persists. In that unlikely eventuality, we'd have no choice but to seek more qualified professional help."

"Is there anything we can do, Sensei?"

"Be understanding, minna," the doctor indicated, "As I said, Nabiki's mental age is much younger. I'm going to excuse her from school for the next few days. I don't think she could cope with the coursework or the social stress of high school."

"She's a pretty smart cookie, Doc," Ranma interjected, earning a glare form Akane.

"True, but Nabiki thinks she's in Class 2-2 at Oizumi Elementary School," Tofu admitted.

'Poor Nabiki-oneechan...' "Sensei, will this happen to me someday too?" Akane asked, a distasteful look coming across her face.

"I don't think so, Akane-san," Tofu commented. "You handled your grief differently, ne Tendo-san?"

"Quite true, Sensei... Nabiki never cried. She hardened herself. I knew somewhere inside she did... Akane, on the other hand, got rather... um..." Here Soun paused.

"Uncute?" Ranma supplied.

"Baka!" Akane shouted and slammed her fist into his cheek, which sent him flying.

"That," Soun finished off inclining his head towards his youngest daughter. "I wish I could've done more for my musume back then." Tears began streaming from his eyes.

"I see... Well," Tofu explained, "Home care and being around those Nabiki loves is likely the best treatment for her. If she doesn't show any signs of improvement within a few days, I'll arrange for her to be admitted to the University Hospital. In the meantime, I'll consult with a mental health specialist. Tendo-san, please bring her by the clinic tomorrow afternoon." Dr. Tofu smiled slightly. "I better make sure my supply of sweets is full."

"Why?" Soun asked, puzzled.

"I'll owe the young lady TWO lollipops, Tendo-san, and given how kawaii Nabiki... or should I say Na-chan is acting, she might sweet-talk me out of a few extra." He smiled and winked.

# # # # #

Akane followed Ranma out to the dojo after Dr. Tofu returned to his clinic. She stood just inside the door puzzled as Ranma took up a meditative position in the middle of the floor before closing his eyes.

"What are you doing, Ranma?" she finally asked him after a couple of minutes.

"Thinking," Ranma answered without looking at her.

"With what?" was Akane's reply. Ranma cracked open one eye to glare at her. She stuck her tongue out at him. She was a little annoyed when Ranma closed his eye but nothing else. "What are you thinking about, pervert? My panties?" His only response was to grimace. She pointed at him. "Well, buster, you better not be thinking of gettin' back at Nabiki!"

Ranma came to his feet in one graceful motion and glowered at his fiancée. "Akane, why do ya think I'm planning anything?"

"Because it would be just like you!" Akane flared. "You're always going on about how bad Nabiki-onee treats you, and now this is the perfect opportunity!"

"I wouldn't recommend taking that opportunity either," announced a new voice from behind Akane. Akane yelped and jumped further into the dojo. She was startled to see Kasumi standing in the doorway hands on her hips looking determined. The nineteen year old Tendo sister then stepped into the dojo and closed the door behind her. "I want to talk with both of you."

"Ne, Kasumi-chan, how's Nabiki-onee?" Akane asked.

"Sleeping... Otou-san is watching her while I speak with you two." Akane glanced at Ranma with worry. It has been many years since she'd heard her sister sounding so stern.

"Nabiki is very vulnerable at the moment. It's our duty as family to protect and nurture her." Kasumi's gaze cut through both Akane and Ranma.

"He's not related to us, Onee-chan," Akane grumbled in a tone that said she wasn't sure what she would do if Ranma were related to her. "And I doubt Nabiki needs any protection. Most of us are scared of her now as it is."

"Akane-chan, that's not nice," Kasumi scolded. "Nabiki's going through a rough time." The eldest Tendo daughter then gave Ranma a long look. "Ranma-kun, I know that Nabiki has never been close to you, but I think for the next few days at least she is going to be looking to you for guidance."

"HIM?" Akane asked, looking wildly between her sister and Ranma, "Why?"

"Because, Imouto-chan," Kasumi coyly replied, "She's sees Ranma as a father figure."

End of Chapter 12

Coming next in Chapter 13 - Bubbles of Feeling