5. The Managers' Answering Machine
So, we join our incredibly stylish, not-gay (cough) managers in their office, checking their messages before leaving at the end of the day to do… whatever it is that "straight" managers do…
Beep!
"Fat, ugly, stupid, sluts of managers and you are as slow as molasses on a winter day…" A voice screamed.
Firmin deleted the message, shock covering his face. "Who would have the gall to send this?"
"Someone with a puerile brain?" Andre suggested.
Beep!
"You need to go back into the junk business, it suits you better, and by the way, you two are so gay." A new message came through the machine.
A confused look passed over Andre's face. "What's wrong with being gay?"
Firmin slapped his forehead with the palm of his hand. "Shut up…"
"And what's this about us going back to the junk business? Why should we? We're perfectly capable of–"
Beep!
"Andre? Firmin? It's Raoul. No one else I called has any Herbal Essences to lend me and I am in serious need of hair product!" the Fop's voice came through the machine.
"That stupid Fop…" Andre muttered.
"Firmin, I happen to know that you have a large supply of Herbal Essences Mousse under your bed… either give me some, or I'll tell everyone that your hair is… shall we say, less than real?"
Andre stared at Firmin. "You said it was real!"
Firmin's face turned red. "I… er…"
"You lied to me! You said you'd never lie to me! How could you be so–?"
Beep!
"You're the ugliest people I've ever seen and you both smell." a shrill voice came through the answering machine. "And, everyone knows you're gay, so quit hiding it! Muhahahahaha! And, not only that, but my friend has consented to no longer beat me to a bloody pulp with a lamp. Further more… You suck!"
Andre was still whimpering something along the lines of, "You lied to me," while Firmin ground his teeth in anger and proceeded to pry the hairs from his eyebrows in a furious manner.