Dear Readers,
Okay.. I'm putting a warning on this chapter for Attempted Suicide… I know that pill overdosing needs instant care and I know that some people will object to my type of cure, but a stomach pump does the exact same thing. Here's to the people with sensitive gag reflexes!
I do not own Gundam Wing
I do not own 'Imaginary' by Evanescence
Flames will be used to toast my daily bread.
HAPPY ST. PATRICK'S DAY EVERYBODY!
Stay safe
Stay healthy
Sincerely,
Starr Bryte
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Tuesday, April, 28 198 After Colony 10:30 A.M. Sanq Time. Sanq Capital. Darlian-Peacecraft Mansion
Relena was floating in dreams. They weren't good dreams. But they weren't bad dreams either. It was the kind of dreams few remembered once they woke up. It was the kind of dreams brought on by a sleeping pill induced haze. Slowly she became aware of the alarm clock going off and the sound of thunder outside her window.
Relena groaned as her body protested getting out of bed. The clock said after ten in the morning, but she didn't care. It would just be easier to go back to sleep. That would be wonderful. To just go to sleep and live in a dream world.
Finally the sound of someone knocking on the front door brought her out of her reverie. The housekeeper answered it. The sound of voices. She groaned. Duo had been calling her for sometime now. She knew he worried about her. And she wasn't answering his phone calls or messages. She ground her teeth in frustration and remained where she was, hoping the house keeper would shoo him away. She couldn't stand the outside world anymore. All that noise and the sound of life continuing on without her. Without Heero. That name was still painful to think about and Relena fought the urge to cry. She could not cry. She would not cry. He never cried, so neither would she. She had to be strong. Like Heero. But if Heero had been so strong, why did he leave? Those were questions she didn't want answered, and so she clung to the illusion of perfection with a painful grip.
Then came the sound she dreaded. Footsteps outside her door. Familiar footsteps. Duo. Knock,knock,knock
"Relena? Hey, Princess… It's Duo… Can I come in?" Why. Why must they always bother her? All she wanted to do was sleep. Couldn't they just leave her alone? If she could sleep, she could forget. Forget that he was dead. Forget that she was alone. Forget that life was living without her. Without him. Relena's eye was caught by the dim light reflecting off her bottle of sleeping pills. Duo was still knocking on her door, this time more urgently.
"Relena, open the door." A command. Part of her was surprised since she had hever heard Duo use such a tone of voice before. She ignored him as she reached for the bottle. It was pure white and sooo inviting. If she went back to sleep and ignored him, he would go away. Opening the bottle she took one. Not feeling drowsy she took another. And then another. And then another. Why couldn't she get to sleep? She always felt sleep after one. It was the damn Duo's fault, banging on her door and calling her all the time. Why couldn't he just go away? Why couldn't they all just go away? Finally she felt sleepy. More than sleepy. Exhausted. As if a great weight had settled on her chest. The bottle fell from her suddenly numb fingers with a clatter and she fell back onto the bed, her mind sinking into oblivion.
Outside Relena's bedroom door Duo was starting to get worried. Why wasn't she answering? He could hear movement from inside. He heard something hit the floor. Something that sounded like a plastic bottle. A sudden fear struck his heart. NO. She couldn't have. But her tearless and shattered face filled his mind and he admitted that not only she could, but she would. Yelling for the housekeeper he backed up and rammed at the door with his shoulder. IT shuddered and gave a little. A kick to the doorknob and the lock broke off. Another kick and the door blew back on its hinges. Giving into his instinct Duo looked around. There was Relena, on the bed in her underwear. There on the floor was the innocent looking bottle of sleeping pills. Going to the bed he shook her. She didn't move.
"Relena. Relena wake up." He turned to the housekeeper.
"If I yell for you, call an ambulance. I hope it doesn't come to that, but be alert!" Nodding dumbly the woman raced out of the room to wait by the phone in case he called for her. Turning back to Relena, Duo could guess what she had done. He grimaced. He hated to and he knew that the doctor wouldn't like it, but timing was everything. Lifting her up into a sitting position he tilted her to the side and stuck to fingers down her throat.
"Come on." He muttered, "Be a good gag reflex and convulse for me…" He muttered. With a choking burble Relena retched onto the floor. She heaved like this a few more times before she started coughing weakly. Duo breathed a sigh of releif. Still supporting her, he sat her back up. Relena turned, and when she saw him she blinked in confusion.
"Duo?" She mumbled hoarsely, "What happened?" Then she turned to look at the mess on the floor and the nearly empty bottle.
"Oh god, what have I done?" She whispered in disbeleif.
"Relena." He said.
"What have I done!"
"Relena, listen to me!"
"WHAT HAVE I DONE?"
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I linger in the doorway
Of alarm clock screaming
Monster's calling my name
Let me stay
Where the wind will whisper to me
Where the raindrops as they're falling tell a story
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In my field of paper flowers
And candy clouds of lullaby
I lie inside myself for hours
And watch my purple sky fly over me
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Don't say I'm out of touch
With this rampant chaos—your reality
I know well what lies beyond my sleeping refuge
The nightmare I built my own world to escape
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In my field of paper flowers
And candy clouds of lullaby
I like inside myself for hours
And watch my purple skies fly over me
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Swallowed up in the sound of my screaming
Cannot cease for the fear of silent nights
Oh how I long for the deep sleep dreaming
The goddess of imaginary lights.