Shattered Reminiscences

By Scarlet Rayne

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Chapter 4

'Why is he doing this to me?' she thought miserably, as she meekly walked up the flight of stairs. Her face reflected a hopeless expression as her hands reached for her keys, knowing that she was already nearing her residence.

'It isn't fair.' She thought glumly.

Slow paces finally brought her slouching form up to the top of the stairs, with eyes glued to the floor, mind clouded by unwanted thoughts. As she looked up, she gasped when she saw a slumping figure that was curled up tightly by the side of her door.

Red hair.

Black leather jacket.

…Kenshin.

'What in the world-'

Faintly in the background, she heard a soft mumble coming out from his lips, as he shifted his position.

He was sleeping, waiting.

Her eyes softened, when the realization struck her.

He was waiting for her.

She felt tears welling up in her eyes. 'Would you really wait for me, Kenshin?' she asked inwardly, full of misery. It was a question that wasn't meant for the scene before her, but a question that longed for an answer that would change everything. Sorely wiping away the salty liquids that ran down her cheeks, she fought the itch to start sobbing.

'Would you wait for me?' her mind echoed, as she walked closer to him.

Bending down, she was about to wake him up when her movements became inactive once she saw the look of innocence reflected on his face. It made her smile genuinely at the rare sight, as she continued to gaze affectionately at his sleeping features. She then started caressing his hair, but after a while, she gently shook him. "Kenshin.. wake up,"

He stirred, blinking an eye open. Instantly he gave her a toothy smile, and yawned. Rubbing his eyes to give them more clarity, he blinked his eyes again to furnish more awareness into them. "Where were you, Kamiya?" Slowly getting up, he groggily continued. "I had expected a frantic woman running around the house screaming 'fire!', with a burnt smell to complement the scene when I arrived, but I guess not."

She smiled weakly, but said in mock anger as she unlocked the door. "Well, I'm so very sorry to disappoint you, my dear Himura. But I was out buying ingredients to bake you a chocolate cake, or what you would call what-the-HELL-is-this-cake by the time I take it out from the oven."

Trying to pretend as if nothing was wrong.

Laughing, he locked the door as he made his way to where Kaoru was. "Well baby, I just don't see how that supposedly butter cake you baked last time could end up looking like a dark-chocolate mass of hard-brick-flour."

She was trying, so hard.

She rolled her eyes in response, but she couldn't deny the fact that it did come out looking like some poisoned, retarded thing. Trying to come up with an intelligent comeback, all she could think of was: "Don't judge a book by its cover, darn you."

But how long could she keep it up?

"Yeah, and your cake proved that quotation wrong." He laughed even more when she let out a grunt. Passing him the marinated fish to be fried, he oiled up the pan and started the fire. He stood in front of the stove wearing an apron, with a ladle on his right hand.

She wanted to tell him, confide in him, but…

Glancing at his back which innocently starred back at her, she felt a pang of bitterness in her heart.

She just couldn't.

"You do remember, don't you Kao? What I do for a living."

She turned to face him. "What has this got to do with anything?"

"Everything."

Turning back her attention to peeling onions, she suddenly felt another strong urge to cry. Holding it in as much as she could, she drew in a lengthy breath, and exhaled heavily as quietly as she was able to.

'Maybe …I should, I should leave him...'

"But despite your horrific ability to set up something nice," he said humorously, "I still love you."

Her face dropped slightly.

'I can't do this.'

Whispering hoarsely in reply, she tried focusing on the onions. "I.. I love you too, Kenshin."

Even though his back was facing her, she could literally hear a grin creeping up on his features. She felt a weight of guilt suddenly tugging at the far ends of her heart, making it all the worse. And unknown best to her, she let out a sniff.

Turning his head around almost instantly, more worry was painted on his face when he caught a lone tear rolling down her cheek. "What's wrong?"

"Huh? Oh.. uhm.. Onions, Kenshin, the onions." She said feebly, but allowed a smile to form at the side of her lips. Wiping her tears away, she gave him a more convincing look.

And much to her relief, he turned around and returned his attention to the fish. Sighing, he flipped it over. "Sometimes, Kaoru.. I really don't know what to say about you."

A small smile graced her lips, as she started chopping the onions.

She loved him so much.

But the guilt that was killing her inside was affecting her whole being.

"There Kenshin, the onions are ready."

"With the power that I hold, I can crumble his life with a snap of my fingers," he said arrogantly.

Fear immediately entered her system, when she knew without doubt that he was right.

He did have that power.

"So listen to what I have to say,"

Hugging herself tightly, she starred blankly into the TV screen. Scooby Doo was on, but she couldn't seem to concentrate on the ghost who was chasing Shaggy around the haunted house, causing him to scream frantically.

She starred at him horrified, as her hands tightened in anger.

"You wanted an option, didn't you? I just gave you an option, Lu Tanrou." He grinned wickedly. "Either follow me back to Shanghai, or stay here and watch the misfortunes unfold in front of your eyes like a storybook."

"You bastard." She fumed.

A yell from Scrappy disrupted her thoughts, pulling her out from the world that revolved around the earlier events. Switching the television off, she sunk deeper into her couch, laying her head gently on the soft cushion.

What was she going to do?

She gazed apathetically at her creamy coloured ceiling, mind filled with doubts, frustration, aggravation.

Distress, annoyance, exasperation.

Depression.

She felt like screaming her troubles away, at the same time relieving her irritated nerves.

"You have three weeks," he said monotonously. "You'll hear from me then,"

"W-Why… are you doing this to me?" she asked weakly. "Why can't you just let me go?"

"It's all so simple, Kaoru." he said in a deadpan voice. "It lies in a mere, plain, simple fact of life."

She was caught off guard when he suddenly trapped her in a strong embrace, whispering a soft, tickling whisper in her ear. "That you are mine, Kaoru. I'm never letting you go."

Tears rolled down her eyes, but she bravely wiped them away.

'What did I get myself into?'

Deciding to not think about it any further since it's causing her a massive headache (and heartache), she got up. She debated with herself on weather to call Misao and drown her with her distressing dilemma (since she's dying to tell someone about this), or just get herself drunk with the bottle of vodka Sanosuke left from his last visit.

Misao, or vodka.

Eyeing the clear coloured liquid that was harmlessly sitting at the corner of the counter, she heaved out a sigh. Then, as if heaven sent her an answer, she made up her mind.

Vodka it was.

Author's Note: Like any other Asians, we do not get summer holidays (growls). The homework(s) piles up by the day, and the exams/tests are coming at the end of this month. Our break would only come for a few days in August, and the longest ones are from November till December.

It isn't a very appealing thought to know that I'm studying my butt off for the monthly/end term, while others are lying in the sun, sipping their drinks with those tiny umbrellas sticking out from them. :I.

So you see, I don't think I would have much time to update any of my fictions, all five of them. But don't worry, I will find time to update as often as I can!.

More drama in the next chapter to come:) (If I can pull it off, that is.)

Until then… Review please!

PS: And yes, thank you so much for your lovely reviews! <3