Chapter 31: Vulnerable
"Max," he grabbed her arm gently, his request for her to stay, though he wasn't sure what was behind it. He ought to let her leave, send her out himself, but he didn't want her to go.
At the touch of Alec's hand, Max felt slightly electrified. She turned toward his touch, staring into his eyes with ones full of desire that she was still trying to fight.
He didn't want her to leave, and she realized that she didn't want to, either. She looked from his eyes to his hand, partly pleading with her eyes for him to remove his hand, but she couldn't find it within her to ask with her voice.
He released her from his grip, not really knowing what had overcome him. He didn't apologize however. He set her glass in front of her, letting her decide whether she would stay or not, as he downed his own.
She was probably going to leave, end up feeling disgusted with herself for even dropping by. Then Alec thought of something. He'd never told her where he lived, how did she find him?
"Max," he began, about to ask her, when he was surprised to find himself silenced by Max's delicate touch upon his lips.
"Shh…Pretty Boy," she almost whispered with a devious smile that he had not yet seen on her face. She tilted her head back and took the whole glass in one gulp, still holding her fingers to his lips.
In that instant he knew. She was done fighting herself, and him for that matter. He watched somewhat shocked as she slammed her glass down hard on the table, and faced him with eyes like he'd never seen. There was a fire in them, he had no choice but to answer them.
He pulled her toward him aggressively, pressing his lips forcefully against hers. This kiss was not like the one in the alley. This one had more passion in it than he realized he held for her. It was intensified by unleashing both of their desires that they'd been fighting for so long.
He gave Max what her body was asking for. He didn't need to think about it. Knowing what people wanted came naturally to Alec, but with Max he didn't even need to consider it. His body instinctively responded.
Her hand found his chest, the muscles that had been taunting her this whole time. She stroked them gently, in spite of her aggressive kiss, sending pleasure to both of them.
Max didn't want to give in completely, she was still fighting him as she tasted his lips.
"Max," Alec spoke in a low voice, showing his frustration.
She pulled herself toward him again, silencing him this time with her lips.
He shoved her forcefully against the blank wall. As her head banged hard on the wall, she found her mouth open as she gasped with a mixture of both shock and pain.
Alec took advantage of the situation with his tongue, shoving it at hers before she could refuse. He tasted Max fully, and she was helpless to deny, and only found herself responding more strongly.
They found themselves on his floor, with Alec's welcome touch reaching underneath her shirt. She pulled at his pants, biting him on his shoulder possessively, as she realized he was ready.
He held himself above her, staring at her questioningly, as if they hadn't already given in to each other.
Her brown eyes stared back into his hazel ones hovering right above her without hesitation.
"What about Logan?" he asked her, fighting his desires to take her as his. He was so close that she felt his breath brush against her lips as he spoke.
"What about Logan?" she replied, "He's not here."
Alec still hesitated, but did not move. He didn't want to be with Max if after this she would just run back to Logan.
"We're over," she confessed, giving him what he wanted.
"Do you hate me?" he asked her, teasing her with quick kisses along her neck, feeling the frustration and desire within her build as her body grew warmer. He wanted to make her admit that she wanted him.
She moaned slightly before answering. "I hate you," she answered, as she pulled at him, as if he could somehow be closer to her than he already was.
He didn't want to give in to Max at her answer, but he found he couldn't fight his desires any longer.
No more words were spoken.
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Max woke up with a start. She hadn't been planning on sleeping in front of him. Last night had proved more tiring than she'd expected. Of course, it wasn't planned like that. She hadn't even had a plan when she'd first come to his apartment. Something within her had led her to his door. It was like Logan said, she was trying to sort out whatever it was going on inside her.
Max smiled inwardly, remembering the first night she'd met Alec. That night, he had taken off while she slept.
This time, he was still right beside her when she awoke. She stared at his muscled abdomen as it rose with every breath while he slept soundly. She turned onto her back, facing his plain, and chipping ceiling. She felt strange, this was a very new feeling to her. Normally, mornings like this happened after a mistake, inspired by a heat driven moment where she wasn't herself.
She knew that wasn't the case with last night. She had been sure of herself before she allowed anything to happen. She hadn't been reacting against her will because of being in heat. She had made the decision on her own.
She knew that her usual response would be to feel regret and try and find some explanation. But she realized that she didn't hold guilty feelings about her actions. She felt like it was right, and how it should be with Alec.
Although she held no questions about her own actions, she was hesitant about Alec's. She'd seen him at the bars. This type of thing was probably common for him. She found herself feeling cheap and unimportant. She was probably just one name in a long line of conquests for him. She didn't like feeling vulnerable. He surely knew that unlike himself, she didn't do this all the time, and he probably knew that for her, it had meant something.
She didn't hold regret, but she also didn't want to look pathetic in front of him. She got up without a sound. He had left her the first night they'd met. Now, it was her turn to leave unexpectedly.
She wanted answers for her feelings. It couldn't be that she took a natural liking to him, he'd done nothing to earn it. Why was she so drawn to him? She knew that it was probably best to be up front with him and work it out together, but at the moment, she wanted to insult him, stay in control. If she left before he woke up, he wouldn't know that he had meant something to her. If she took off, he wouldn't know that last night she'd given him more than her body- she'd given him her heart.
She opened the door and paused, taking one last look at his peaceful form before leaving.
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Alec woke up as soon as Max shut the door. He could tell she had just left, feeling her absence with more than his transgenic senses. He felt rejected suddenly, in spite of her actions the night before.
Her scent was still surrounding him, it was almost suffocating.
Having Max for one night hadn't completed him like he'd felt at the time. It had only served to further highlight the hole within him. It was like Max was his missing piece. Having her for one night only made him feel her absence further when she was gone. He felt more empty than ever.
He wondered why she'd come at all, before coming up with his own answer. She and Logan were over. He had probably just broken it off with her, and she'd headed to Alec for comfort.
Alec padded over to his shower, wanting to wash away his attachment to Max along with her scent, but knowing that wasn't going to happen with a little water and soap.
Why was it that with Max, he somehow relinquished all control over his emotions? He felt like all his training at Manticore was useless. He was supposed to be able to manipulate people without thought or hesitation, but with Max, it seemed he was on the receiving end. It didn't feel so good to be taken advantage of. He hated her effect on him, he always had.
He remembered her words last night, hating himself just as Max apparently did, but he for a different reason. He wasn't really sure why she hated him. He could only guess that it was because he was everything Logan wasn't. He wasn't concerned with the well-being of the world or the uncovering of mysteries. He was satisfied just messing with people and being light-hearted. He wasn't serious or set to help the unfortunate. He just wanted to get by. He'd been perfectly content living at Manticore, until he'd seen Max.
Why had he been chosen for that mission, anyway? He hadn't even been briefed and yet he identified Max with barely a half-second glimpse at the sight of her. They definitely had a connection, it seemed, but at the moment, he didn't want to explore it.
He stepped out of the shower feeling refreshed, but still tired. Max's rejection had interrupted his sleep. He settled back down comfortably, this time on the couch. Thoughts of Manticore exhausted him until sleep saved him from trying to figure out everything troubling his mind at the moment.
a/n: thanks so much for reading, and for your feedback! Let me know if any of this seems out of character or just bad writing. next ch will be more of Alec's past, I think