Disclaimer: Harry Potter and all related characters and ideas are the whole intellectual property of Ms. J.K. Rowling and are hers alone to sell. I do not receive, nor would I accept any compensation for any of the owned intellectual property of Ms. Rowling (nor that which she has licensed to WB etc.). What follows is just a wacky little ditty I wanted to get out of my brain. It only got there because I so love that which Ms. Rowling created. No copyright infringement is intended.

Ghosts, cats and a wicked prank.

'What are you doing out here Harry?' Neville jumped and paled dramatically while Fred and George scowled at the sixth year Slytherin prefect. Harry, however, merely smiled.

'Hey Patrick!' Harry said, pulling the tall, dark-haired teen the rest of the way into the hallway from behind a nearby statue. 'I'm going to show these guys the ghost's party downstairs. Do you want to come along?'

'I don't know, Harry,' Patrick looked at him, concerned. 'I'm not sure your Dad would like it for you to take your friends to wherever this thing is…'

'Oh, it's ok, Patrick,' Harry smiled again. 'It's not in a restricted area. It's just in an old dungeon classroom that hasn't been used in about a zillion years.'

'Yeah, but sneaking out…'

'Nah, we're just coming out a few at a time so as not to attract too much attention. We can't have everyone coming along.'  Harry looked over his shoulder at the fairly large group that had already assembled behind him consisting of mostly Griffindor's with a few nervous looking Hufflepuffs hanging back. 'Dad knows about the party… and he didn't say I couldn't go…'

'I don't know, Harry…'

'Oh go on, Patrick. Come with us. All the Hogwarts ghosts are going to be there, and he's got all kinds coming from all around – the Headless Hunt are going to be there…' Seeing the older boy's resolve begin to falter, Harry quickly took the opening. 'Great! Guys, this is Patrick Payne, come on.'

'Harry,' Ron whispered, running up to Harry when he started to move away. 'Why is he coming… he's a Slytherin…'

'Ron,' Harry replied quietly, but loud enough for those closest to hear as well. 'Patrick is my friend. He's a good guy, and he's a prefect, surely you can see the benefit of having a prefect with us should we get stopped…'

*************

'Head Hockey!! Cool!!' exclaimed Fred while Neville sighed 'Poor Nick…' as the group of students took in the sight of Nearly Headless Nick trying unsuccessfully to regain the attention of the other ghosts over the antics of the Headless Hunt group.

'Mr. Payne.' Most of the students cringed back when the Bloody Baron approached. 'Why are you accompanying a group of young Gryffindors and Hufflepuffs to these dungeons?' Though generally silent and foreboding around students, the Slytherin ghost did keep up with the Slytherin prefects, and generally knew exactly what was going on in Slytherin house.

'Er, Harry, Sir…' He motioned toward Harry who stood a few feet away by way of explanation.

'Hi Baron.' Harry smiled casually. 'Nick invited me, and as it's not in a restricted area, I brought a few friends, including Patrick.'

'Very well,' the ghost rasped, staring down his nose at Harry imperiously.

'Hey Nick!' Harry shouted when the Baron floated away. 'Speech! Speech! Speech!' he chanted, indicating for the others to join in. It didn't take long before all of the students, and most of the ghosts were chanting along, drawing a previously dejected Nick back up to the little stage.

'Thank-you, thank-you,' Nick began. 'My dear departed – and not yet departed, lads, ladies and gentlemen…'

Unfortunately, Nick's mournful and melodramatic speech very quickly drove the bored students out of the ghost filled room.

'Why'd you stop a perfectly revolting game of ghost head hockey for a boring old Nearly Headless Nick speech, Harry?' Fred and George whined as soon as they'd entered the corridor.

'Ghosts see much more than you'd think you know,' Harry chuckled leading the now giggling bunch of students down the hall. 'The Headless Hunt don't live here – Nick does. It never hurts to have the local ghosts on your side. If they like you, they might help you out sometimes – if they don't…' Harry turned a very knowing look to the now closely listening students. 'Well, let's just say they can tell your – er professors if you're up to no good before you even know they've seen you. Trust me.' Harry laughed at their horror-stricken faces as that thought set in. 'I know what I'm talking about. Peeves hates me. One time…' Harry paused, frowning.

'What is it Harry?'

'Shhh!' His frown deepening, Harry tilted his head, as if he was trying to hear something. 'Do you hear that?' He didn't wait for an answer though, suddenly running toward the stairs.

'Harry?!' Patrick was the first to run after him, but very quickly, after exchanging confused looks, the rest of the students bolted up the stairs after them.

They all nearly ran into each other a few minutes later when Harry stopped abruptly just around a corner on the third floor.

'Oh-my-God!' Ron said as they all looked past Harry and saw what had caused him to stop. 'Is that…?'

'Mrs. Norris…' Harry groaned, moving closer. Though there was no love lost between Harry and Filch, and so also between him and Mrs. Norris (who was the only animal Harry'd ever met that didn't like him) he was still horrified to see her like this. Looking quite dead and hung by her tail from a torch bracket next to a message that Harry was afraid had been written in blood:

The Chamber of Secrets has been opened.

Enemies of the heir beware.

'Is that… blood?' Ron grimaced. It seemed even Ron, who hated Mrs. Norris with a passion, was upset to see her hanging there.

'I don't…' Hermione said nervously, starting to back away with several other students. 'We shouldn't be here…'

'She's right, Harry,' added Patrick, trying to pull Harry away. 'We shouldn't be found here like this – you know Filch will…' But the words died in his throat – at that moment, the rest of the student body, having at last left the feast, were streaming down the corridor toward them.

There was nowhere they could go. No way to sneak away now they'd been spotted, and worse now, the students began to see what was on the wall. A ripple of whispers floated from those at the front, to those students in back until everyone there had seen or heard the words of the gruesome message on the wall.

'Enemies of the heir beware?' came a sneering voice from near the front. 'You'll be next Mudbloods!'

Harry recognised the voice instantly – he saw red – but as he lunged for Malfoy, the angry voice of Filch the caretaker called out. 'What's going on here?'

As Filch pushed his way through the crowd of students approaching the front, Harry found himself suddenly behind Patrick, several of the Gryffindors and Hufflepuffs who had been with them forming up around him in a kind of bizarre showing of tri-house cooperation to conceal him from Filch.

'What's the hold-up? What are you all doing—' He froze as he finally escaped the crowd and saw… 'Mrs. Norris?' he practically whimpered. Then, turning back to the students, a vein bulging in his neck he shouted: 'Who did this?! WHO?!'

As one, the students cringed back.

After a moment, when Filch looked ready to explode again, Harry stepped from behind Patrick. 'Mr. Filch, she was like that when we came—'

But he was cut off when Filch grabbed him by his shirtfront and pulled him forward, shaking him roughly. 'You,' he growled. His eyes were menacing and his face was screwed up in a terrible scowl. 'You did this, you little brat! You've always hated her… I'LL KILL YOU!!'

As he shook Harry hard again, several students, Patrick in the lead started forward to pull the old caretaker off of Harry. But before any of them could do anything, the crowd of students was once again parted – this time by a large black blur, forcing his way through.

Severus separated Harry and Filch by grabbing the man by his throat with one hand and shoving him hard against the wall as he pulled Harry to his side in a tight, one-armed embrace with the other.

'He killed my cat…' Filched choked out, his eyes bulging.

'No I didn't!' Harry yelled, though his protest was practically drowned out by the half a dozen other cries of 'No he didn't!!'

'Sir,' Patrick went on quickly, explaining to the furious potions master. 'We all came up here together – with Harry. This…' He motioned to the cat and the writing on the wall and turning to include the headmaster who had just walked up as well in his explanation. 'This was already there when we got here.'

Dumbledore didn't say anything, but he nodded reassuringly to Patrick before turning to gently lay his hand on Severus' arm.

Looking up at him, his face still flushed with anger, Severus at last took a deep breath, nodded once and released Filch. He then turned his attention entirely to Harry, holding him out at arms length and asking, with only a look if he was alright.

Standing up straight to gently break from his father's grip, Harry nodded in reply glancing uncomfortably at the gathered crowd. 'I never touched Mrs. Norris,' Harry grumbled, hoping to change the subject. Everyone was looking at him and though he couldn't bring himself to meet their stares, he felt certain they were all laughing at how he'd had to be rescued by his Daddy like a little baby.

'Everyone to your common rooms,' Dumbledore ordered, having taken the cat down from the torch bracket. 'Argus, come with me…'

'My office is closest Headmaster…'

Harry ignored Lockhart's preening and grabbed his father's sleeve surreptitiously as he turned to follow. 'Dad?' he whispered.

'Harry, you heard Albus. You should go to your common room… Are you alright? Did Filch…?' His face grew concerned when he saw Harry hesitate nervously.

'I heard it again.' He didn't have to say what. Severus knew instantly what he was talking about. 'It was clearer than before… I followed it here…' He motioned to the writing, still glowing on the wall. 'It said…'

But Severus cut him off. 'No,' he whispered, glancing nervously back down the corridor to make sure no one was in earshot. 'Don't say anything here. Wait until…' He sighed and swore quietly. 'Come on,' he said finally, leading Harry after the other professors. 'We need to speak with Albus about this.'

**********

'She is not dead, Argus,' Dumbledore was saying when they entered the office. 'She has been petrified. But how…' He sighed. 'How, I cannot say.'

'Why don't you ask him?!' Filch screamed, pointing accusingly at Harry.

'I told you,' Harry yelled back. 'I never—' But the headmaster's voice, and his father's  hand lightly squeezing his shoulder stopped him.

'Harry did not do this Argus.' The headmaster didn't raise his voice, but nonetheless, his tone clearly stated that the subject was closed. 'Now,' he continued in a slightly lighter tone. 'The good news is that Violet has recently procured some Mandrake plants. Once they are mature, a potion can be made that will be able to revive her.'

'I'll make it!' Lockhart butted in. 'I must have done it a hundred times, why I remember one ti—'

'Dad makes—' Harry started hotly, but once again a gentle squeeze on his shoulder stopped him.

'I believe that I am the Potions Master at this school,' Severus said in a calmer, if deadly cold voice.

Harry gave a firm nod to this statement in the very awkward pause that followed.

'Ah – yes,' Lockhart chuckled nervously. 'Of course…'

'Argus…' The headmaster turned to a still distraught Filch. 'You may keep Mrs. Norris in your room if you would like…? I could set you up some protective charms around her cat-bed – so she wouldn't be disturbed?'

'Yes, thank-you Headmaster,' Filch replied, though he was still glaring accusingly at Harry before turning a misty gaze onto his cat as he gently lifted her into his arms.

Just before he followed Filch out of the office, Severus intercepted the headmaster to whisper briefly in his ear. Albus stopped and looked back at Harry, his expression unreadable for a moment before nodding and turning back to Severus.

'Just give me a few minutes to deal with Argus and then I'll meet you in my office.'

**********

'Intriguing,' Dumbledore said to Harry's explanation of what had lead him to the spot where Mrs. Norris had been attacked. 'What exactly did you hear?'

'I smell blood… kill, kill, kill… so hungry for so long… like that,' Harry shuddered. 'It was really creepy.'

'And tonight you followed it directly to where Mrs. Norris and that message were?' Albus leaned back, pondering for a moment after Harry nodded.

'Well…' he sighed after a time. 'It could be a number of things and it may not even be connected.' He leaned forward, meeting Severus and Harry's eyes. 'I'll trust to your expertise that it was a snake…' He smiled at Harry's blush. 'There may well be a snake – maybe even making its way through the school pipes. It may be hunting for food – prey to kill…' He sighed, leaning back again. 'I'm not ready to assume that it's connected yet though. But Harry?' He looked very seriously into Harry's eyes. 'You were right to tell us about this. There may indeed be a connection that I cannot yet make. Every bit of information – no matter how incidental helps.' Severus smiled over at him as well, nodding.

'Do,' Harry asked anxiously. 'Do you have any idea who…? I mean, who would do something like this?'

The headmaster shook his head sadly. 'That,' he sighed, 'I do not know.'

'But do you think…' Harry blushed again. 'I mean… what about Wart? Or, you know,' he added quickly trying to hide his fear for the staff wing cat. 'What about all the other cats – the ones the students bring?'

'I don't want you worrying about that Harry,' Severus answered, rising to grip Harry's shoulder. 'I think it far more likely that this was just a random attack than anything aimed directly at Mrs. Norris, or cats in general. Laying his hand on top of Harry's head, he forced him to meet his eyes. 'I'm serious Harry – leave it. Filch's cat will be fine, Wart'll be fine. Don't worry about it.'

'But what about the Chamber? If it's really open—' Harry began, only to be stopped by his father's glare.

'How many times did we talk about this this summer?' he said very seriously. 'You leave adult problems to…?'

'Leave it to you.' Harry sighed. 'But what about the snake? I'm the only one who can understand it. What if…?'

'Harry,' Albus interrupted. 'If you hear it again, let us know. Until then I must agree with your father and ask you not to concern yourself with something that is as likely to turn out to be a terrible prank as anything else. I should think you had enough to worry about with your classes, Quidditch and your extra-curricular lessons?' A slight twinkle entered his eyes as he leaned forward, trying to lighten the mood a bit. 'Of course, if your father's assignments are no longer challenge enough…' He was definitely twinkling now as Severus prickled and Harry blanched. 'I'd be more than willing to come up with something…'

'No!' Harry squeaked. 'No, that won't be necessary – Dad's assignments are plenty challenging – aren't they Dad? Dad? Tell him!'

'Alright,' Severus chuckled. 'You'd best head for bed now. Will you be alright to get back to your dorm on your own?'

'Dad!' Harry frowned, looking up defensively. 'Of course I can find my dorm on my own.'

'Straight there then.' He laughed again. 'No stops. We'll see you in the morning.'

'Um,' Harry fidgeted as he stood to leave. 'Will you still check on Wart?' Though Wart was the teacher's common-room cat, and didn't technically belong to anyone, he was without a question closer to Harry than anyone else in the castle, and in his heart, Harry loved that cat as much as he loved his owl, Ruby.

'Yes.' Severus ruffled Harry's hair. 'I'm sure he's fine, but we'll double check. Now off you go. Goodnight.'

'Alright,' Harry acquiesced with a sigh. ''night Dad, 'night Uncle Albus.'

*************

In the days that followed the terrible events of Hallowe'en, Filch grew increasingly nasty, threatening detentions and jumping out at unsuspecting students for such crimes as 'smiling' and 'laughing out loud'.

But by far, Harry suffered the most from Filch's vengeful mood, culminating in a screaming match between the two in which Filch openly accused Harry of petrifying Mrs. Norris so she wouldn't be able to catch him wandering the halls at night and breaking any rules he wanted because his 'so-called' father didn't care what he did.

Fuming, Harry had retaliated by screaming that if Filch weren't such a bitter squib, he wouldn't need a cat with more magic than he had to keep tabs on him.

The silence among those students who had been drawn by the raised voices was only broken by Harry's yelp as Filch grabbed him roughly by the scruff of his neck and dragged him down the stairs to his father's offices.

Looking very disgruntled that night, and very obviously sulking, Harry had been required to take the evening meal at the teacher's table and then spend that night in his old room as a result.

The general dislike of Filch, and the fact that everyone knew that Harry being in trouble had been over the screaming match between the two had resulted in some of the most surly potions classes in recent memory. Everyone was glaring daggers as Severus (and Filch when they saw him patrolling the third floor corridor where it had all happened).

The only students seemingly not on Harry's side were some of the second year Slytherins, most notably, Draco Malfoy.

Malfoy had been somewhat subdued for a time after the consequences of what he'd said on Hallowe'en – several students had told Professor Snape what he'd said, and in spite of his promise to tell himself, Harry hadn't been one of them – though Malfoy had refused to believe it until Severus had told him that he would be speaking to Harry about why he hadn't (it wasn't deliberate, he just forgot in the excitement and in his worry over Wart).

But when Harry got in trouble over the fight with Filch, Malfoy was back in full form teasing Harry about the embarrassment of being forced to sit next to his Daddy and then 'sent to his room' like a big baby. 'Did the little baby have to eat all his vegetables? Were you sent to bed without any pudding? Aww, poor little baby, did his daddy paddle his bottom for being naughty?' He was careful to keep his comments only for times when no professors were around to hear, but seemed, to Harry's embarrassment to prefer if there were a good audience of students around.

-- It only stopped, and Draco only fully realised how few of the students appreciated his taunts, when he was subjected to a hilarious (though humiliating) prank…

As Malfoy raised his goblet to his mouth to drink, he was not aware of the many eyes on him, but very quickly he heard the snickers start which lead to the full-blown laughter all around the Great Hall. He felt the potion working on him – it wasn't terribly comfortable, which was why he didn't feel the tingle of magic from an unknown source that had robbed him of his clothes – all but his polka-dot underpants, until he looked down to see great hairy boils sprouting up all over his nearly naked body.

The Great Hall rang with laughter as the blond Slytherin ran screaming past on his way to the hospital wing for an antidote.

That evening at supper, only Harry and maybe a few of the more observant older students saw the hint of amusement behind the headmaster's stern voice as he lectured the student body on the dangers of illicit potion brewing and how wrong it was to have humiliated a fellow student like that. And it was only Harry who recognised that Severus' down-turned face was trying to hide his own amusement at the situation.

Harry, for his part maintained a straight face, giving suitable attention to the headmaster's lecture. He had been suspected himself at first of course – his dislike of the Malfoy boy being well known, combined with his skills at making potions and his access to the kitchen's to have placed the potion in Malfoy's drink being damning evidence. However, after explaining finally about how Draco had been trying to embarrass him in front of other students, and how little the other students seemed to appreciate it and swearing 'On Ruby and Wart and my broomstick together Dad, I swear I didn't do it and I didn't know about it and I don't know who did it!' Severus had instantly believed him.

Secretly, Severus was both pleased by the loyalty and tendencies toward protecting Harry among most of the student body and impressed by the skills of the brewer who had made the potion involved. He'd tested some of the remnants and it had been flawlessly prepared. He had a few suspects in mind in the school who might have been able to do it, but decided he didn't want to know for certain… 

Contrary to what he should, as a teacher, and Malfoy's head of house feel about the really quite terrible prank pulled on him, Severus found that he had no desire to punish the perpetrators, given the provocation…

TBC

Next Chapter: Quidditch!!! Yay – finally!! If Lockhart debones our Severus' boy Harry, will he live to see another day? Mwa ha ha! Tune in next chapter to find out :D