Murdoc wiped the tears of laughter from his eyes before leaning back against the kitchen counter and acknowledging the amused-looking Asian in front of him.
"Wot d'ya need, love?"
She eyed the nearly empty pitcher behind the Satanist. She had been a bit suspicious that he was, once again, drunk when he had immediately allowed her entrance to his holy Winnie, without even asking her to identify herself in the name of Satan.
"Murdoc-san, I need to ask a favor of you... It concerns my birthday."
Murdoc still couldn't quite get over the fact that he wasn't the only one who had been shit on in the past few weeks. It made him rather giddy with excitement, actually. Life wasn't so bad after all, and he was in quite an agreeable mood, and thus, nodded at Noodle, signaling her to continue. After all, he had to admit he owed her... Satan knew there wasn't anyone else who would have cleaned up shit and vomit and not told a soul about it.
She bit her lip a bit in nervous habit, thinking for a moment before continuing.
This operation would require ninja-like stealth.
"Murdoc-san, I've discussed it with Russel, and he's agreed to let me go to some of the clubs you and 2D-san often visit. After all, I will be of age, and he couldn't think of any reason to not let me go." She paused, letting the drunken man absorb her words for a moment. "There happens to be one problem, however. This is where I need that favor from you."
He raised his eyebrows at her. Somehow he just knew that he really didn't want to continue this conversation.
"... Wot exactly will ya be needin' from me, Noodle?"
His words reeked of tequila and skepticism. She looked him square in the eye, immediately going into business-mode.
"I need you to distract Russel-san for me, so that I can be sure to have a good time. This distraction must be done throughout the night, including when we arrive back at Kong. I more than likely won't be in my right mind, and I need you to make sure that Russel doesn't realize this, because if he does, it will be quite a while before he will trust me to go out again. I don't want him worrying about me every time I set foot outside this building."
Hm. Well, that wasn't so bad. Sounded easy enough, all he would really have to do was buy the black man drinks, maybe find him a girl, and get Noodle in a cab back to Kong before Russel could get to her.
"Sure, love, why not. Be glad to." He gave her a lazy smile, before he got a grand idea. "Noodle, love, can I ask you somethin'?"
She had turned around to grasp the door handle, and was about to say kthanxbi to Murdoc before he interrupted her departure.
After all, inside the Winnebago, it smelled like rancid ass and rotten meat with a dash of cigarette smoke thrown in.
"What is it, Murdoc-san?"
He put on the most serious face he could muster up, while inside he was giggling like a little school girl with a puppy.
"You and brain-ache 'ave been pretty close from the day you got 'ere, even when ya couldn't speak a word of English."
She looked at him wearily, unsure of where he was heading.
"Yes, I suppose you could say that," she said, shrugging slightly. "He's always been my best friend."
"Then be honest with me, s'for the good of the band."
He paused for dramatic effect.
He was such an ass.
"D'ya fancy 'im?"
The goat-sacrificing bass player watched the color rise from her neck to her forehead. Hehe. She was all cute when she blushed.
Blink.
Scratch that last.
"... Well, do ya?"
She looked at the floor for a moment before looking back up at him. Sighing and pushing part of her hair back behind her ears, she answered.
"Yeah, I do. But I'm working on letting that one go... Lately it's become quite apparent that he doesn't see me in quite the same way. Besides," she attempted a joke to ease the tension she suddenly felt, "I'm not sure if I'm ready to be surrogate mother to forty kids living in the vicinity of 2D-san's father's theme park."
Murdoc snorted.
"They're prolly all as stupid as 'e is, anyway. Word of advice kiddo, don't ever do whip-its. Huffin' shit is 'ow you end up like 'D."
She raised an eyebrow at him.
"And I'm sure it had nothing to do with you hitting him twice with a car." Her small smile let him know she was only teasing, and he laughed openly.
"You shoulda seen the way 'e bounced on the pavement like a little rag-doll. Used to stick things in 'is nose while 'e was out of it, too. Always gave me a good laugh."
How very Murdoc-esque.
"Thank you, Murdoc-san. I'll see you later."
"Bye, Noods."
For some strange reason, Murdoc's nose began to ache as soon as Noodle shut the door. He was instantly reminded of the reason it ached on occasion.
Russel had broken it in five different places.
Murdoc suddenly found himself not quite so sure he wanted to mess with the drummer's pride and joy; Noodle. This, he told himself, called for a drink. Or six.
Fuckin' Paula. She hadn't even been a very good lay.
When he really thought about it, Murdoc had one fucked up sex life.
Maybe he should just give up.
Or be a queer.
... Nah.
Noodle shut the door behind her, shoved her hands in her jean pockets, and walked quickly back towards the entrance to Kong.
Was she really so obvious that even Murdoc could pick up on her feelings for the blue-haired drunkard? Perhaps that was why 2D had been acting so strange to her, maybe he knew how she felt, and was deliberately trying to push her away so that she would know he didn't feel the same.
Actually, that didn't make much sense. They had been hanging out fairly regularly since the evening he passed out outside his room.
But he had fallen asleep outside his own room, in which there had been a perfectly good bed-space next to her.
Maybe he didn't want to give her the wrong idea.
Aw, shit. Thinking sucks ass. She needed something to distract herself, and quickly.
Down the corridor, into the lobby, up the elevator, into the den, turn on the T.V.
Sit on ass.
Wait for birthday.
Whooooo-hooooo.
About twenty minutes of the show she'd been watching had passed when she heard:
CRASH.
sizzle
"Mother FUCK!"
Noodle leapt off the couch, yanked open the door, and flew down the hallway before skidding to a halt in front of the door to the kitchen.
She thought twice about opening it. One never knew what would be behind the doors where strange noises were heard when one lived at Kong. That was, after all, why she never visited the public toilets.
A demon watching you take a pee wasn't exactly a comfortable experience.
She was considering fetching her katana for a moment before she heard a deep voice say, "Just what the fuck ya mean by that, D!"
She heard a small, familiar whimper.
Sounded like 2D.
Five minutes earlier, on the other side of the door outside of which Noodle was standing, 2D had entered the kitchen in order to appease his rumbling stomach. After washing the poop from his hair, he'd remembered that it had indeed been a rather long time since he'd eaten.
Mmmm. Spaghetti. He smelled spaghetti.
Good old Russ, always cookin' up something.
"Afternoon, Russ! Wot's cookin'?" He asked with a smile, peeking over the larger man's shoulder to peer into the bubbling pots.
"Sup, D. Just putting on some noodles to boil." He paused and turned around to face 2D, suddenly remembering he'd been wanting to talk to the scrawny singer. "Hey man, I gotta tell you about Noods' birthday comin' up."
2D perked up at the mention of Noodle's name. Damn, he'd almost forgotten that it was nearly Halloween!
That would mean Noodle would be legal.
2D's heart skipped a beat.
... Maybe he wasn't such a dirty bastard, she wasn't that young, after all, and it's not like he would get in trouble for it or anything...
"Yo, D, you in there?"
Russel was waving his hand rapidly in front of 2D's eyes.
"Uh... oh, yeah, sorry Russ," he said quickly, embarrassed that he'd been caught in the middle of a daydream about Noodle twice in an hour. "Wot's tha' you wanted to tell me?"
Russel shook his head at the doped-up singer. Damn he could be a dullard sometimes, Muds was right.
"She wants to go out to a couple of them clubs you and Muds are always at. Don't ask me how, but she convinced me that it would be a good idea to take her, so that's what we're gonna do. You, me and Muds are gonna take her out and make sure no bad shit happens to her, so don't make any plans. And no visiting any of them skanky-ass bars you're always pickin up bitches at either."
2D cringed a bit at Russel's I'll-fuck-you-up-if-you-do look.
"Awright, sounds good... An' trust me, I wouldn't take 'er to one o' those places," said 2D, a dark look suddenly shadowing his face as the drummer turned to take the noodles off the stove. "You can't trust any of the blokes in those joints, 'specially not with someone beau'iful like 'er."
Russel paused, eyes narrowing a bit in suspicion as he glanced over his shoulder to appraise 2D.
Maybe his earlier approximation about 2D's lack of interest had been wrong. Apparently the singer had noticed that Noodle was, in fact, a bit more grown up than the rest of the band gave her credit for.
2D didn't think very hard before he opened his mouth again.
"Lotta those fucks are jus' there t'get some nice ass. I know if I saw a bird like Noods walk by I'd be on 'er buyin' 'er drinks an' shit."
Russel's eye twitched and he dropped the pot with a loud CRASH.
The boiling water sizzled on his arm.
"Mother FUCK!"
2D looked questioningly at the big, suddenly very, very scary black man, who'd rounded on him wearing a vicious snarl.
He then gulped.
Said that last bit out loud, he did.
He suddenly questioned his relationship with alcohol and pills. Sure, they were fun, and he loved them, but damn if they didn't get him into trouble sometimes.
'Twas, tragically, a love-hate relationship.
"Just what the fuck ya mean by that, D!"
Whimper.
Gulp.
Glance nervously around.
Shrink back into the corner.
Remember switch blade is in other pants.
Shit.
"Err... jus' tha' I mean she's grown up an' all, an' I know wot guys like tha' are lookin' for cuz I am one of them an' so I was jus' sayin' we gotta be careful an' all cuz I don't wanna see 'er get 'urt or anythin' an'... Russ, I didn't mean it like tha'!" 2D stuttered out, feeling ridiculously frightened as Russel's eyes glowed white-hot.
"You been gettin' her drunk and shit, you fuck. You sure you're not just gonna end up being one of those little shits that fucks and ducks?"
2D looked almost hurt. Well, somewhere behind the fear radiating from his face, anyway.
"Russ, I've known 'er since she was ten. I wouldn't fuck 'er over like that," he paused for a moment, taking a deep breath. "She's me best mate. I couldn't bring myself to 'urt 'er like that. Besides," he paused again, preparing to save his own ass. "She's like my sister, man. Could you do that to your own fuckin' sister?"
Russel calmed down visibly, but still looked suspiciously at the blue-haired man. Suddenly Russ took a deep breath and sat down at the kitchen table, feeling a little burned out.
"Hey man, I'm sorry, I didn't mean to flip a shit on you like that. I just keep gettin' so damn worried about Noods, you know? She's always been so innocent and genuine to me, and I ain't never had anybody be genuine and real that hasn't died on me yet. I just don't wanna see her get hurt." He looked seriously at 2D. "I know you'd never hurt her. But I can't help but notice that lately she's been acting different around you, and I know she's attracted to you. And I hate that, because there's nothing I can do to protect her from it... I realized that I can't always stop her from being hurt, cuz I can't control who she falls for."
Russel got up slowly and turned back to the stove to drain his noodles.
"I'm just telling you, man. Be careful with her. She's got feelings for you, and if you fuck her up, I seriously will not hesitate to make your nose more like Murdoc's. I like you, D, but don't you dare hurt her."
2D's heart was doing an Irish river dance in his chest. His brain felt like it had left his head and gone up to the sky.
Noodle had feelings for him?
"It... um... yea, s'alrigh' Russ. We're all protective of 'er. I'd prolly 'ave flipped out if someone 'ad said tha' about 'er too." 2D rubbed his right arm with his left hand behind his back, for once in his life, thinking quickly. "You really think she fancies me?"
Russel turned to him. "Yeah. I do, man. Haven't you noticed the way she lights up when she sees you and all that shit? It's like her day changes when you walk in the room. Want some spaghetti?"
2D nodded, and grabbed a plate and a fork, loading himself a plate.
"I didn't know tha'. I 'ad no idea." 2D stated, completely dumbfounded.
Yet ridiculously excited.
"Yeah, well you didn't hear it from me."
Meanwhile, a girl sat in her room, knees hugged to her chest, her eyes tearing up, but her mind refusing to let her get upset.
She'd left her eavesdropping position right as she's heard 2D declare that he saw her as a sister, nothing more. He could never fuck his own sister.
Christ, she was so stupid. How could she have let herself fall for the dumb ass anyway?
Probably because he was kind to her, was there for her, spent time with her, had fun with her, made her feel special, had damn good hair, was handsome, had a child-like innocence about him (though he was far from it)...
Damn. Love sucked.
Maybe she'd be able to get him out of her system this weekend though.
Maybe all she really needed was to be around other boys, and this infatuation with 2D would disappear.
But deep down, she knew it wasn't just an infatuation that could be cured by dancing the night away with some guy.
Fuck it.
She was fucking in love, and had been for years.
Mike the monkey patted his owner gently on the back, offering her a banana in consolation for whatever was bothering her.
She smiled gently at him, a tear falling down her cheek.
"Mike, don't ever fall in love with a monkey that's way too old for you. He'll just think you're his sister."
Mike raised an eyebrow at her. He was okay with English, but damned if he could understand Noodle when she reverted to Japanese.
He settled with rubbing her back lightly.
A/N: Damn. Weird ass chapter, but one I feel is fairly decent, if not very funny. Had to get some of how the band members treat each other across, plus I had to create a bit of drama. Plus, we all know Mike had to make an appearance.
Thank you so much for your reviews! They make me so damn happy. I know I've been forgetting to say thank you, especially to those of you who review every chapter (kindly, trust me, you all make my day). It's nice to hear that this little drabble has some fans, and that I don't just waste people's time with my insanity.
Next on Escapades: Ooooo. Shit happens. They go out for Noodle's birthday, with 2D knowing how she feels, and Noodle ready to pounce on some poor guy to get 2D out of her system... And Murdoc and Russel getting really drunk. Well, at least that's how everyone thinks things will go, and thus far in this story, almost nothing has happened as anyone intends for it to. So, sucks for you, you'll just have to stick around to find out. :P