On the dawn of her birthday, Noodle awoke from an excited sleep at a stupidly early hour. She'd been anticipating this day for the past few weeks, and had been so anxious for the coming night that her sleep had been restless for quite a few days now.

Unfortunately, her day wasn't starting out so well.

So, all right, reasonably, it wasn't like she was expecting a fucking shower of roses and breakfast in bed with her band mates surrounding her singing her happy birthday in various keys. But honestly, a girl would think that by noon somebody would have woken up to acknowledge the fact that she was a full year older.

For Chrissake, nobody had even gone out the night before! There was no reason to sleep late!

Noodle piddled away the morning and afternoon by first working out, showering, lazing around watching T.V., messing with her guitar, and then by finally deciding that by three o'clock in the afternoon the boys should be rather well rested.

She was feeling a wee tiny bit mischievous. After all, they could have at least gotten her a goddamn cake.

And so, she devised for herself a mission. First objective: wake up 2D, perhaps by dumping water on his face, or if he's really passed out, dragging him to the shower and turning on the cold water full blast.

Second objective: … We'll figure that out later.

And so Noodle, in her daisy dukes and loose-fitting tee, whistled to herself as she made her way to the car park.

Ah, the picture of seductive innocence. A picture that is about to do something really rather rude.

Noodle stepped out onto the concrete, creeping past the silent Winnebago, carefully making her sneaky way to that door which led to 2D's... cave.

She hadn't allowed herself to dwell too much over her sadness about 2D. Or, rather, mostly she just punched through her punching bag one night while letting out some frustration and decided, amidst the explosion of dust and sand (that had taken the rest of the whole freaking night to clean up) that it would be better to just try and move on as quickly as possible.

For the sake of all punching bags.

And monkeys named Mike who might happen to get in her way.

She approached his door with caution, quieter than one could ever imagine. She absorbed the sound she made. Like a ninja, she was negative sound.

As she turned the handle to the door, the ensuing -click- noise sounded like a godforsaken bomb going off. To her currently sensitive ears, it sounded as if she might as well have thrown a grenade at the door.

But she knew it wouldn't wake him up. No, not just yet.

Push open door.

Tippy-toe.

Oooo. Stealthy.

Avoid cans, ciggy butts, and other debris.

Approach bed with caution.

Analyze prey...

And just as she was about to decide whether he was in a state where she could drag him to the shower without him waking, she suddenly heard a very interesting sound come from the general direction of the man on the bed.

"Ooo... Fuck... Yea, tha's it..."

Blink.

Was he awake?

... Oh, God.

OH GOD.

Was he...?

"Mmm... cum for me..."

Noodle picked her jaw up off the floor, raised both her eyebrows in surprise, and damn near shit herself when 2D suddenly rolled over in his bed, still dead asleep.

Oh.

OH.

Now she wasn't an ignorant girl. Noodle knew a damn hard-on when she saw one. So she figured that now would be a helluva great time to haul ass out of this room and go sit and be embarrassed by herself for a little while.

But, oh, curiosity, that little cat, didn't mind getting shit on quite as much as Murdoc did.

Ah. Fuck.

She really wanted in on this dream... God knew she had enough of them involving him to last her a lifetime. She almost felt she was owed this show that she was currently privy to.

... But then again, she was most definitely invading his personal space, and, well, he would probably shit a brick if he knew she was watching him while he was having a naughty dream.

Heh, he'd probably just shit a brick from the knowledge that she knew how big his penis was.

She winced a bit, because damn, that shit would hurt first time around...

Noodle shook her head violently. What the hell was she thinking? Why the hell was she still in here?

"Noodle..."

SAY WHAT?

"... Noodle, just like that..."

Screw leaving. That was out of the question. If he was actually dreaming of her, which, well, he actually shouldn't and couldn't be, since she knew that he didn't want her in that... er... physical way, well, she was damn sure staying.

You know, just to make sure he didn't... hurt himself?

Okay, yeah, that was stupid.

But she didn't need a legitimate excuse. She was entitled to a bit of perversion after a life of chastity.

Well, outside of her hand.

But anyway.

For now, she was going to have some fun.

She crept backwards and closed the door to his room, using the Christmas lights strung at the ceiling to light her way towards the slumbering singer.

'Happy birthday to me...'

Sitting down on her knees next to him, she quietly whispered, "2D-san..." and, just for kicks, emitted a soft groan.

His response was immediate.

"Y'like tha'..."

Hehe. Oh, this was so naughty.

"Please, 2D-san... Oh, God, please..."

He only moaned in response, the movements he was making in his sleep become more erratic as Noodle continued to play with him.

Fuck if she wasn't getting turned on.

"Mm, 2D! Ahh, oh, I'm.." she whispered, pitching her voice higher to make it sound as if it were in a lusty frenzy, clenching on the verge of orgasm.

His voice caught, he gripped the sheets, and Noodle noticed an odd sound.

Spurt.

Spurt.

And all at once, the gravity of what had just occurred hit her.

Had she just temporarily lost her fucking mind? She had just watched her crush gizz all over himself while he was having a wet dream about her, which she helped narrate!

Oh. My. God.

And 2D woke in a daze to feel himself covered in, well, himself, and to see his door shut quickly behind whoever just left.

Nice and embarrassing start to the day, that was.

As one Mr.Tusspot sat up, dazed, yawning, our heroine stood wide-eyed on the other side of the door, hot, bothered, embarrassed, humiliated, and, above all, having a very odd birthday.

Best to flee the crime scene. After all, she wasn't sure her insurance covered this sort of thing.

Noodle tried to look as normal as possible as she strolled at lightening speed back across the carpark, hardly looking where she was stepping. Her mind was so one-track that she hardly noticed Cortez caw at her indignantly when she nearly stomped him to death on her retreat.

"Wot's the matter, Noods? Ya look like you've seen a bloody ghost. Oh, an' 'appy birthday an all tha'."

Perfect. Awesome timing, Murdoc. No, seriously, you must have been waiting in the wings for your big moment.

"… Good morning, Murdoc-san." she replied, taking a deep breath and turning around to look at him. "I'm fine, just a bit… distracted, I suppose."

Murdoc leaned against the side of the Winnebago, rubbing the sleep out of his eyes and lighting up his post-sleep cigarette. He looked up at her, his eyebrows furrowed.

"Wouldn' 'ave anythin' to do with the dullard, would it?" he asked.

Despite her valiant effort, Noodle could feel the blush radiating heat waves from her face.

"… Could we, um… Just not talk about it?" she asked, her eyes demanding that he leave the subject alone.

"Sure," he shrugged, although inwardly a bit thrown off by her behavior. "Wot time are we headin' out tonight anyway?"

Noodle shook her head a bit to clear her mind of the extremely naughty thoughts she was unable to block. Not for lack of trying, either.

"Erm, well I believe we shall leave a bit later in the evening, say around nine o'clock. I want to make sure I can have a few drinks before we get out to We-Card land."

Murdoc nodded, taking a deep drag off of his ciggy.

"Awright. An' I'll make sure Russ 'as a few before we go out. An' Noodle… Don' let StuPot get to ya. Shit'll work itself out. Usually does, anyway."

"Hai, Murdoc-san… Thank you. Oh, and we're all eating dinner together, I'm gonna see if Russ will make a cake. I'll call you when it's ready." She offered him a smile, knowing that Murdoc actually giving good advice was rare, and it was even more rare a thing that he would show her so much affection.

"Right. I'll be in town for a few hours, but I'll be back. See ya."

She watched him put out his fag and head to the Geep before she went into Kong, her mind heavy with thoughts of a naked 2D.

Well, more specifically, a naked Noodle with a naked 2D while both of them did naked things.

But there were things to be done before tonight, and so Noodle tried to throw all the thoughts out of her head. She headed upstairs to the kitchen to find her big black daddy man.

Meanwhile, 2D was just stepping out of the quick shower he'd taken to clean off his spooge, when there was a knock on his door.

"Face-ache! You up? We gotta talk, so you're gonna take a little ride with me to town."

2D winced a bit. Well today just became awesome. No better way to start the day than a suicide ride with Muds…

"Awright, just gimme a minute…"

A/N: And so our evil author proceeds to take forever to update, only to leave you with a total piece of poo for a chapter and increasingly slow progression. Fuck a duck. I'm really not happy with this chapter, but things will get better, I just need to freaking get the characters through tonight and all will become clear. I'm going to try to add some more humor elements, because, well, this just wasn't very funny at all, I'm just a little dry right now. Oh, and boys, you suck. Just in case you didn't know. Promise there will be an update by the end of the week (probably sooner, but I gotta give myself a deadline.)

Adios, muchachos.