Well, fuck.

For the first time in quite a while, Noodle was having an incredibly girly freak out moment. It was stupid, really, and had anyone been around to witness her lack of collectedness, she would have been shamed beyond all reasoning.

Since when had she ever given a damn about what she wore? Especially in front of her bandmates! Shit, this is the same girl who went through a bit of an army phase for a year... and then changed to Japanese Street Fad... and then there was the whole Sailor Moon week which Noodle would rather just all-around forget...

Anyway.

Noodle chewed on her thumb, her eyebrows knit together as she surveyed the complete wreck her room had become during the small conniption fit one eighteen year old guitarist had suffered moments earlier.

Her decision to try and... Dear God, she was serious... seduce 2D had left yonder heroine in a state of teenage self-consciousness. Couldn't wear that, because it made her look like a slut; that wasn't really to go out in public in; maybe that was too dark, she needed more color; too bright, and it might make her stand out...

Bloody hell.

She took a deep breath, folding her arms across her bare chest, letting her eyes slip closed. A bit of self-hypnosis would be necessary to avoid the full-blown panic she felt bubbling up in her stomach like bad tofu.

'We are not bound by the world, but rather, are freed by the infinity of the spirit. Reconciliation with the self will defeat all worldly boundaries, for the world is finite, bound by laws; laws by which the sprit is not bound.'

Okay. This was simple. Just... pick out something comfortable.

Yet despite her inner wisdom, Noodle's lack of experience left her hesitant and worried. Yet, being Noodle, she valiantly faced the monster pile of clothes in her room, and those that were rejected felt the shame of the return to the closet, and the outfit which she was left with left her satisfied with herself.

She checked one of the clocks hanging on her wall.

Show time.

Some thirty feet below the room out of which the young Asian girl was walking, 2D was just getting out of the shower, quickly helping himself to a glorious shot of tequila that he'd prepared right before his quick scrubby-scrub.

He hadn't seen Noodle once all day.

Yeah, he felt kinda bad. It was her birthday, after all, and he hadn't even been able to grow the balls to go let her know he'd remembered.

Well, the whole thing where he'd exploded in his pants while sleeping, which she happened to see, kinda threw him off a bit.

Fuck. Who wouldn't be embarrassed?

2D grabbed a lime and sucked on it immediately after his shot to clear the tang from his mouth, and quench the sweet burn he felt in his esophagus.

So, yeah. He'd been drinking since he and Muds had gotten back from the store. But it wasn't really entirely his fault! Muds had laughed in his face and shoved a fifth of tequila in his arms saying, "See if you can get yourself a proper lay before your penis falls off."

And who was he to refuse free liquor?

So four margaritas and two shots later, 2D was feeling a little better and a lot less embarrassed about what had happened.

Unfortunately, he was also horny as hell.

However, there was another thing that had been occupying the relatively empty space inside the head of our hero.

And this small fact was that Noodle had feelings for him, and not just the friendly kind. Just what he was going to do about this little development was actually becoming a bit of an issue for Mr. Tusspot.

2D was a logical kind of guy. Girl likes boy. Boy likes girl. Boy and girl have sex. Everyone wins.

Yet, he also understood that sometimes there were complications. For example: Boy likes girl thirteen years his junior who he helped raise from age ten. Girl has feelings for boy, who is a dirty pervy git, and subsequently catches him having a naughty dream about her. Do boy and girl still have sex?

No one knows.

And this, friends, is one of two dilemmas in which 2D finds himself as he tries to force his head through the armhole of a (hopefully) clean t-shirt.

KNOCK.

"Jus' a minute!"

KNOCK. KNOCK KNOCK!

"Keep it chilly I'm not decent!"

"Fuckin' hell dullard, you're such a fuckin' woman!"

2D finally managed to get his head through the right hole and went to open his door. Ah, a hiccup. Fucking hiccups. 2D really hated hiccups.

"Wot's the rush Muds?" he said, the words bubbling from his mouth in a happy string.

Ooooh. He was really starting to feel that last shot.

"... You smell like my cellmate in Mexico. You ain't already smashed are ya?"

2D just smiled widely at Murdoc and showed him the 2/3 of the way full bottle Murdoc had given him earlier.

"Bloody 'ell, two dents. Well, anyway, get your shitty ass outta yer room an' get up t' the kitchen. We're all eatin' and drinkin' before we leave out for Tantra." Murdoc said, turning away from 2D and walking toward the entrance to Kong.

2D turned around and grabbed his jacket before following Murdoc toward Kong.

Hic.

Hic, hic.

Hiccup hiccup hiccup hiccup hiccup!

"Fuck, Tusspot! Can you do somethin' about tha' bloody noise!" Murdoc bellowed, rounding on his bandmate as they waited for the lift.

2D hiccupped again, getting silly thought.

"Cram it up yer arse, Murdoc. It's fuckin' hiccups, mate," hiccup, "I can't do shit about 'em."

Murdoc's newly installed 'this is going to be a bad night' radar started to beep lightly as the vein in his temple began to throb with barely-checked irritation.

Why the fuck had he given the dullard that tequila? Oh, right, he was a sadistic bastard. Unfortunately, Murdoc got the uneasy feeling he was going to pay for this particular act. Kind of like the time he got Mike the monkey drunk...

Shit.

Murdoc and 2D rode the elevator in (relative) silence. Save for the hiccups.

As the drunk one and the slightly drunk one walked into the kitchen, Russel gave 2D a questioning look as he put out the meticulously made sushi roles.

"Yo, 'D… you alright, man?"

Murdoc snorted. "E's fuckin' plastered already. Found 'im in 'is room like this."

The Satanist figured it was best to avoid blame. After all, there were two things in this world Murdoc feared: disturbing sexual encounters, and a Noodle scorned.

"I'm not tha' drunk, really," hic, "It's jus' the damn-" hic, "-tequila gives me the sodding-" hic, "-hiccups!" 2D protested, stumbling towards the fridge and pulling out a cold one. "Hurrah! Fizzies!"

Russel and Murdoc gave each other a look as 2D wandered over to a chair and proceeded to hum happily as he served himself sushi and popped open his beer. Russel immediately turned his attention to 2D as the singer picked up a piece of California roll and nearly popped it in his mouth.

Russel grabbed his arm before the small piece met its destination.

"Man, we don't eat 'til the birthday girl gets here, drunkass. Wait."

Even in his frilly pink "kiss the cook" apron, Russel still managed to terrify most people around him.

"S-sure, awright Russ…" 2D said, gently pushing his plate away and backing his chair out from the table.

"Well he won't have to wait long, because I'm starving and it's about damn time we started celebrating my birthday."

All three men looked towards the doorway to great their little Noodle, fresh blood to the world of Adulthood, and promptly felt their jaws hit the floor.

Noodle smiled self-consciously.

Maybe the little black strapless and the heels had been a little much. Ah, fuck it. It was her birthday, it was the first day society recognized her as an adult, and shit if she wasn't going to look the part.

2D had just died and gone to… well, he wasn't sure whether it was heaven or hell quite yet. Kinda depended on the ending.

Hm. If Gorillaz ever fell apart, 2D could look into being a pornography director, or perhaps even a screenplay writer, because he had quite a few interesting ideas running through his head right at that moment.

And, well, he couldn't really help it. The girl he'd been obsessing over in the most recent chapter in the book of 2D's life was standing shyly in front of him, smiling gently, bangs covering her emerald eyes only slightly, her hair pulled back so that the slender, gentle curve of her neck was shown off. Her lightly tanned skin glowed against the black silk of the little dress she wore, hugging her body like a glove and only flaring lightly at the hips.

Hm. It just got very hot.

2D took a looooong gulp from his beer as Russel finally got his shit together and told Noodle, "You look nice, baby-girl."

She smiled at him brightly, glancing briefly at 2D before saying, "Thank you, Russel-kun! Now, food…"

She sat down gracefully at the table next to 2D, who had not only managed to forget temporarily about the "dream incident" from earlier that day, but had also pulled his head out of his ass long enough to give her a (very) light hug.

"Appy birthday, Noodle-girl!"

She returned the hug, squeezing him tighter than he held her, nuzzling her head into his neck a bit.

Wait, what? Nuzzling him?

Murdoc grunted as he sat down across from Noodle.

"Yeah, yeah, all tha' shit. Noodle, love, you want your presents now or later? Coz I think yer gonna want t' go ahead and start on mine…" he said, presenting Noodle with a brown paper bag that had a shoelace tied haphazardly around the opening to hide the present from view.

Noodle chuckled at the wrapping.

2D was still confused about whether he'd imagined Noodle's intimate gesture a moment ago.

"Sure Murdoc-san, I'll open them while we eat."

And with that she undid the knot, pulled out the rather large bottle of expensive champagne, and proceeded to pour a round of drinks for all present. Save for 2D, who said he'd have a glass after he finished his beer.

Still confused, but a bit too drunk to really care, said singer dug in his jacket pocket for a minute before pulling out a small light blue velvet box. He placed it in front of her as she popped a bit of sushi in her mouth, looking at her brightly, and saying, "Open mine next, love!"

Hic. Hiccup!

"… 2D-san, maybe you should get some water or something…"

He gave her a patented pretty boy grin.

"They'll go away in a bit, jus' all tha' tequila I drank…"

Noodle raised both her eyebrows. Her whole part of playing the seductress just got a whole lot easier. After all, if it blew up in her face, maybe he wouldn't even remember.

She shook that thought out of her head and picked up the small box in front of her.

For a brief, insane minute she thought it was an engagement ring that would be inside the box. But after a quick mental slap she opened it, and inside rested a small platinum charm.

She giggled a bit, and 2D smiled at her, explaining what she already knew. "It's ya name in Japanese! Had to get that specially made, they didn't really understand why I wanted it t' say 'Noodle'…"

Noodle thought it was sweet. She thought it was hilarious. She wanted to hump 2D's leg for being so damn adorable and sexy.

She took the charm out of the box, and hooked it around her neck on its small silver chain.

"Thank you 2D-san, I love it."

She winked at him, and she could have sworn he blushed.

But maybe he was just red from all the alcohol. After all, he smelled as if he'd dunked his head in a bucket of tequila.

'She doesn't seem to think I'm too much of a pervert…' 2D thought, turning back to his food as Russel presented Noodle with his gift. She hadn't flinched away from his hug or his gift or given him any weird looks or anything…

Perhaps tonight would go better than he originally thought it would.

Alcohol and cake reined supreme over the next few hours. Drinks were poured, Russel watched 2D suspiciously while helping himself to the eight-layered cake he'd made earlier that day, Murdoc made sure Russel's glass stayed full, and Noodle flirted lightly with a surprised yet delighted 2D.

As the last drops of champagne were poured, and the last empty cans of beer were aimed and thrown at zombies frolicking in the landfill below, the night began.

Off to the Geep, with Murdoc behind the wheel, all of them drunk, Noodle with her head on 2D's shoulder in the back seat, him with his arm around her.

Oh yeah. Things were definitely looking up.

Unfortunately, Mr. Niccals's "this is gonna be a shitty night" radar was beginning to beep louder and faster than before.

A/N: Dear God. What a day. I'll spare you the details, but it was long, and I didn't go to sleep last night. Anyway, this was a long chapter, I feel like my whole story reads like a horny eleven year old wrote it, and all around I'm having a big writer's fart or something. It's very encouraging to hear that all of you are enjoying the story, though! Yeah, and there will still be 5-6 more chapters, so don't get you're panties in a twist just yet.

By the by, a lot of this story is meant to be silly and a bit of a parody, so if some things seem overly cliché, trust me, they were meant to be. It's part of my inability to be original, the joy I get from mocking myself, and the humor that seems to be the spawn of the two.