Chapter 21

A Funeral

Lily closed her bedroom door behind her quickly just before her friends could be heard scooting past. She pressed her ear up against the wood and tried to listen, but her heart was beating so loudly in her ears it made it extremely difficult to hear what was going on.

" Hey, James, I thought I heard a door shut, you don't think she's awake do you?" She heard Sirius whisper.

" Yeah so did I, maybe you should check on her." Mallory added, sounding slightly nervous.

She could hear James sigh, " Fine, but I'm sure it's nothing though, it was probably one of the house elves doing a bit of dusting!"

Lily looked around her room franticly, all the lights were on and her pajamas were sitting out in the middle of the room, there was no way she could turn out the lights, get dressed in her pajamas and pretend as if she were asleep before he came in.

Thinking fast she grabbed the book she had been reading the night before and plopped down on her bed, opening it up to a random page, she began to act as if she were reading.

Just then her door creaked open and James popped his head in, Lily took a deep breath and turned to look at him with the most innocent expression she could muster.

" Um, Hello."

" Hey there, you're up early aren't you? Can I come in?" James asked grinning at her.

She nodded, but secretly wanted to chuck her book at him, look at him! He was lying straight to her face, with no guilt! Again! How could he possibly do this? James was her boyfriend, and having that title means you cannot lie to your girlfriend, hence Lily!

" Sure,"

He plopped down on the edge of her bed and looked around, " How long have you been up?"

Lily let the book rest on her lap, remaining open, " Not long, why the sudden interest?"

He shrugged, " Just wondered... are you enjoying the book?" James asked smiling oddly at her.

She nodded and couldn't help but wonder why he was looking at her that way.

" Oh yeah, it's real great!"

" You're not having any trouble reading it?" He asked scratching his chin.

Lily laughed nervously and shook her head, " Um, no. Why would I?"

" No reason," James then reached over, took the book from her lap and flipped it over, " I just didn't know you could read upside down."

Lily blushed heavily, in the rush of getting herself situated she must have picked the book up upside down.

" It's a secret talent of mine." She said coolly, smirking at him.

He nodded, " Really? That's fascinating."

" I know, isn't it?"

James smirked, " Who taught you?"

Lily sighed he really was beginning to get on her nerves, " You know what? I really don't remember, it's just been so long."

" Oh, Okay,well since we're both up do you want to go down and have some breakfast?" he asked smiling at her.

Lily nodded half heartedly and looked down sadly, why was he acting so sincere when she knew he was up to no good? He acted as if nothing had happened, she could clearly see he was good at lying and that definitely was not a good thing. Lily couldn't help but wonder if there was anything else he was hiding from her.

She raised her head and looked into his eyes one more time, searching for some sign that he was lying but there was nothing.

" Why not?" She responded, putting on a happy face.

Two can play at this game. She thought angrily.

He stood up and held his hand out for her to take, she hesitated but took it into her own, making sure to grip onto it extra hard. Lily laughed inwardly when she saw a wince cross his face.

XxxxX

Lily sat on one of the stools at the bar and watched as James fixed breakfast with his wand. He had asked her if she wanted to help, and normally she would have immediately answered yes, like some trained dog, but not this time. Lily had just smiled sweetly at him and shook her head, explaining that she was still traumatized from the last time she tried to make breakfast.

James had his back to her at this point and it was a good thing too, because if he would have seen the look she was giving him he would have known instantly that she was angry with him. Lily was tapping her nails impatiently on the marble bar top with one hand while she propped up her head with the other. She did this purposely because it was one of James' biggest pet peeves.

With wand in hand James spun on the spot and gave Lily a slightly aggravated look. He walked up to the bar and leaned down so that he was at her eye level.

Her angry emerald eyes flashed as his calm chocolate ones connected with hers," Okay, enough, what's up with you today? You seemed anxious when I checked up on you, then you held my hand so tight that you cut the circulation off to my arm and now you're sighing and tapping your fingers like you're annoyed with me. You haven't acted like this since..." he paused for a second then continued, " since our third year. What's wrong?" James asked with a genuine concerned expression.

Lily sighed and shrugged, " You, you're my problem. If you wouldn't have snuck behind my back like the bloody two faced twat that you are, then I wouldn't be in this mood. If I knew why everyone was plotting things involving me but yet making sure I don't find out about them then I would be happy as a bloody baboon in a jungle full of bananas!" she thought to herself, wondering what would happen if she said that out loud, but of course she wouldn't, no she was going to let it cook up inside her for about three months and then burst like a mad woman. Yes, that's precisely what would happen.

Instead she acted innocent again, just as he was, she was spinning herself such a web of lies that she was sure she would end up caught up in her own trap soon enough, but then again that's exactly what all of her, so called 'friends', had been doing for three weeks now.

" I don't know, I guess it's just the stress of the funeral. It is in two days you know."

A look of relief briefly crossed his face but it was soon replaced with a frown.

" Well, good, ... kind of. I mean, I thought you were angry with me or something. I'm sorry you have so much stress on you though." He took her soft hand into his own and and kissed her knuckles gently, " Don't worry so much, everything will turn out alright."

She winced at the touch of his lips on her skin, it was like some kind of sick punishment she enjoyed it so much, but at the same time wanted to smack him across the face for doing it.

Pulling her hand away awkwardly, she smiled, " Don't worry about me... Oh, and, James, I believe that flapjack has just caught fire."

For a few seconds he seemed confused but as soon as he realized what she had just said he cursed under his breath and produced a jet of water from his wand, putting out this flaming flapjack immediately. He laughed quietly and placed the pitiful thing on a plate, setting it in front of Lily.

" My cooking skills are lovely, now aren't they?" he asked, smirking at her.

Lily couldn't help but laugh, eventhough she was angry with him. " Quite lovely." she hopped down from the stool and rounded the bar, " Alright, step aside Greenhorn, let me show you how its done."

Knowing that she would never get to eat if she didn't take it into her own hands she made breakfast quickly and skillfully, much better than the last attempt. Three and a half minutes later Lily and James were sitting at the table munching on their golden brown flapjacks.

" Mmm, they're delicious Lils." he complimented as he licked a bit of syrup from his bottom lip.

" Thanks."

Lily watched as he devoured them eagerly, it was almost animal-like. She scrunched her nose in disgust and stood up with her plate.

" Well, I'm finished. I think I'm going to go for a walk." She said, placing the dish in the sink.

James looked up from his plate in surprise, " Oh, well, do you want me to come with you?"

Lily shook her head and mentally growled, " No, just stay the hell away from me." she thought.

" No, go ahead and finish up. I just need a minute to think."

As Lily walked past him she felt a strong hand grip her wrist, making her stop on the spot. James pulled her down to his level and kissed her lightly on the lips. She pulled away almost immediately, making James frown in confusion.

He let go of her wrist and stood up, cupping her face with his hands, " What's the matter Lily? I know you aren't telling me the full truth, I can tell when I look into your eyes, which has been a challenge since you seem not to want to look at me."

James struggled to get her to look into his eyes, but she refused. Lily just shook her head grabbed his hands with her own, pulling them away from her face.

" James, I can't do this right now. And I can't explain to you why, so just don't ask me. Just go. Leave me alone."

Lily then left him standing there, completely lost and hurt, but she didn't care. Or at least that's what she wanted to believe, that she didn't mind she was hurting him. But deep down, she just wanted everything to go back to normal.

XxxxX

Two days later Mallory, Amanda, and Lily were all standing in Lily's room as they got ready to head off to the funeral. They hadn't said much to each other because Lily seemed edgy,they didn't think much of it though, after all, it was her father's funeral day. You couldn't expect her to be happy.

Lily straightened out her black satin dress, that reached about five inches below the knee, as Mallory pinned her hair up into a bun.

Mallory swallowed, " Lily are you alright? You've been awful quiet this afternoon."

Lily cringed, she knew this was coming. No she wasn't alright! No one had said anything to her about what they had been talking about, she was still completely oblivious and they were all acting normal!

" Yeah, just dandy. It's my father's funeral day, you can't expect me to be jumping for joy!" she snapped, walking into the bathroom just as Mallory stuck the last pin into place.

A word wasn't said between the girls after that, they all went downstairs and apparated to the alley closest to the church. When they arrived they all hurried down the side walk to the ceremony, never uttering a word to one another.

Sirius, Remus, and James had agreed to meet them there, James had told Lily he needed to do a few things before he left and had made sure he knew the address. Assuming it had something to do with the secret, she, for a fleeting second, almost gave him a false address. But for some reason she couldn't do it, Lily blamed it on his "Damn hypnotizing eyes". Plus he was just too adorable, all dressed up in his sleek muggle tux with his hair combed back neatly, it was so cute that he went to so much trouble for her father's funeral, that she almost had forgotten about the whole 'secret behind her back' thing.

XxxxX

Lily had mentally promised herself that she would not cry before she saw her father in the casket, but she knew the moment she had set foot on the concrete sidewalk outside of the church her family had regularly attended on so many occasions, that she was about to break that promise.

A huge lump formed in her throat and her heart seemed to enlarge, horrible thoughts began to flood through her mind, sad memories clouded her vision and before she knew it tears had began to brim her eyes and not even one foot had been set into the church.

Looking away, she forced herself to calm down, and she did considerably when a strong, but yet soft, hand slipped into her own and squeezed her hand reassuringly. She knew it was James, but she didn't have the heart to take her hand back.

"Why is it so hard for me to stay angry with him?" she wondered silently.

When she looked up again there was everyone, Remus, Amanda, Sirius, Mallory, and James of course, all surrounding her with comforting smiles. They didn't need to say a word, at that moment she knew, for some odd reason, that whatever it was that they were plotting, had to be something good. It just had to be. There was no way they could look at her like that, and act so sincere without everything being okay in the end.

Amanda took her hand and squeezed it, she smiled and nodded towards the church, " Come on, you'll feel much better after you go. Don't worry, everything will be okay, we're all here for you."

Lily nodded as her heart panged at those last five words, " We're all here for you".

She found herself moving into the church but it didn't feel like she was walking, she didn't feel anything but sadness, it was like she was a deflated balloon.

The first thing she saw when she stepped foot into the building was a long isle way and at the end of it was a black polished casket, half open, the lining was midnight blue, her father's favorite color. White and yellow roses surrounded it, they were everywhere, at the end of the pews, in vases next to the doors, and there was a single white rose sitting on the closed half part of the casket, tied around it was a red satin ribbon.

No one was talking, not even a single whisper could be heard. She looked around, on the right side of the room were her muggle friends and family, and on the left side were many people from Hogwarts, including Professor Dumbledore and Professor McGonagall. All of the people from Hogwarts were dressed in muggle clothing, although all of it was extremely out of style and very vibrant. That was besides the point though, they had came to the ceremony and that was all that mattered to her.

Lily walked down the isle, fingers still tightly intertwined with James', with tears brimming her eyes as her mother came into view. She was in the first row of seats with her head in her hands, her sister was sitting next to her and unsurprisingly, she seemed completely calm.

Lily let go of James' hand in a heart beat and walked up to sit with her mother. Rose looked up and sighed.

" Oh, Lily, I'm so glad that you're here." She wrapped her shaky arms around her daughter and whimpered, " I don't think I can handle this."

Patting her on the back Lily shook her head, " You'll be fine..." Her voice cracked but she continued, " he's... in a better place now... no ...no more pain... or s-suffering..." By this time tears were flowing down her face steadily and her voice had risen a few octaves.

Rose let go of Lily and took her hand, she looked her straight in her eyes, " I want you to be careful, you and your sister are all I have now," A tear rolled down her mother's face, " I can't handle losing either of you. You just be careful at that school of yours."

Lily squeezed her hand reassuringly and looked back towards where her friends were sitting, the pew behind her.

" Don't worry about me, Mum, I have plenty of people to watch over me." she said half to make her mother feel better and half to make her feel better.

Rose smiled sadly and nodded, she was just about to say something, but was interrupted by the Pastor clearing his throat. The ceremony was starting.

XxxxX

Two hours and just about fifty million shed tears later, Lily stood alone next to her father's new grave. A crisp summer breeze swept through the grave yard, rustling around dried flowers, carelessly abandoned next to the many gray stones marked with loving words from each of the deceased's loved ones.

She knelt down and placed a bundle of fresh wild flowers on his grave.

" I'm so sorry Daddy..." Lily whispered, gently running her hand across the grave stone, " If I weren't a witch... none of this would have happened... I want you to know that I will get back at Voldemort if it's the l-l-last thing I do."

Lily sniffled loudly and wiped a fallen tear away, she stood slowly, " I love you Daddy, I'm so sorry..."

Just before turning around she read his grave stone to herself once more, " Here Lies , Richard Cain Evans, Beloved Husband and Caring Father of Two."

" Beloved doesn't even begin to describe the feelings Mum and I have for you." She thought to herself sadly.

Lily felt a hand on her shoulder and turned to find James standing there, behind her with his deep chocolate eyes sending her waves of sympathy.

" Come on, Love, why don't we head out for a bite to eat, It's nearly dinner time."

She tucked a fallen curl behind her ear and nodded, Lily didn't have enough strength to turn him down, she had to get her mind off of all this anyway.

James smiled slightly and wrapped an arm around her shoulders, " Your Mum left a few minutes ago with your sister, she said to tell you she loved you and to write her as soon as you can."

Nodding again she leaned into his shoulder helplessly, how was it possible for him to make her so angry one minute and feel so comforted and safe the next?

" Where did everyone else go?" she asked quietly as they came out of the grave yard and the church began to come back into view.

James shifted nervously for a moment and then cleared his throat, " Oh, they had to go back to the Mansion to get a few things done."

" A few things done? Like what?" Lily asked curiously.

He shrugged, " Why don't we just get something to eat? Here, this looks like a good spot to apparate, doesn't it?"

" No, James, I know you know what's going on, now tell me." she said forcefully, making him look into her eyes.

James rolled his eyes and sighed, " I have no idea what you're talking about, now can we just go? I would like to get you out of this environment and into a more relaxing area. You've had a horrible day, I think a quiet dinner, just you and me, will make you feel much better."

" Okay, but I know you're hiding something."

He kissed her forehead, " Can we eat?"

" Yes, yes, Merlin, you're starting to sound like Sirius!"

James laughed, " And you're starting to sound more like yourself."

She elbowed him in the side and scoffed at his puppy dog eyes, " Are you going to apparate or what? And where are we going?"

James smirked, " That, my love you will see soon enough."

Eying him suspiciously again she took his hand warily, " Where are you taking me?"

" Oh, be quiet already, its a surprise!"

A/N: Okay I've FINALLY updated. Sorry this chapter totally sucked, but the next one is going to be a LOT better, Lily will find out what the secret is and why they've had to keep it from her. So, why don't you all try to guess what's going to happen! The more reviews I get the faster I'll update!