Authors note:Here it is, the first chapter! Thanks to Elliemo and jojogirl for beta'ing this! You girls really work your magic!

So, I guess that was it.. Other than I do not own anything with one tree hill! If I did... then the triangle would be GONE!

On with the story...

Chapter 1: What we both deserve

He said; " Just think it over, and write me a list,

so we can figure out what we both deserve"

He found himself sitting in front of his perfect house; white with a picket fence. Random toys were scattered across the lawn, making the beautiful house look even more perfect, showing that the happy couple also had children, not only one, but two.

'Two more souls to screw up.' Lucas thought as he watched his house like he did every night.

It seemed just perfect on the outside, the red door, a hammock to sit in on cold winter nights, when they would just cuddle with each other. A swing and a dollhouse Brooke had insisted on buying for her daughter, if she ever had one.

Again, on the outside everything was perfect. But if the insides of the four walls could whisper, they would tell a story of a couple screwed up from their very beginning, a couple only getting worse over the years. They would tell a story of love and laughter, and how real life turns it into screaming and pettiness and hatred. They would tell a story of a cold marriage, and an even colder husband, a husband who was afraid to let himself feel anything for his wife anymore.

They would tell secrets, no doubt about that.

He gripped the steering wheel tightly, his knuckles turning white. Once again, he was dreading to go inside. Ever since the incident as he liked to call it, she was resenting him. Every day when he came home, he was greeted with her resentment. He dreaded the days where he had to work overtime, because it would mean he would be met with the 'look'. She didn't say anything; she just gazed at him as if to tell him that she knew what he really had been doing, when he in fact hadn't done anything at all. Her eyes told him more than a thousand words, they were the windows to her soul. He could see that her soul needed repairing, but he wasn't sure if he could be the one to put the life back in it, or the spark back in her eyes.

Because her eyes had lost their sparkle. Now, they were just glistening with unshed tears, but not even then did he know how to fix it. How to restore her spirits, that certain light within her soul that lit that special spark in him as well. He had forgotten how to light the flame, and how to whisper soothing nothings into her ear. All he was capable of in the end was to make her shed these tears every night. The thought alone made him want to rip out his own heart and hand it to her. Made him want to scream at her, yell at her that she could have his heart, rip it out like he had ripped out hers. That she could tread on it; do whatever she wanted with it. Hurt him, just like he had hurt her.

The sound of her muffled sobs next to him brought tears to his own eyes every night. But unlike her, he was never able to shed them. They remained in his eyes, occasionally glistening when the faint streetlights tiptoed their way into their room. His dry pillow every morning was the evidence of his hollow form. He didn't want Brooke to feel sorry for him, so he never said anything. He didn't want it to look like he was the victim, because he really wasn't.

He was just lost.

He released his hold on the steering wheel, and glanced at the window. He could see some movement inside, and knew he had to go in before Brooke would start worrying about where he was. As he stepped out of the car, he let out a sigh. The 'putting one foot before the other' motion wasn't as easy as he once had remembered it. It was hard knowing that once he stepped inside those four walls, he would have to pretend again. Not pretend to love her, because he did. Just pretend that everything was okay, when it really wasn't, when it hurt like hell.

She deserved better.

He was met by the smell of food as he walked through the house. He searched the rooms for his two boys, Bryan and Kevin, but with no sign of them anywhere else, he found his way into the kitchen. Brooke was putting the last touches to the decorated table. She looked stunning with her hair gathered in a bun at the back of her neck, a simple red top and a pair of dark blue jeans. He walked up to her, and pressed a light kiss to her cheek. He felt her clenching her jaw and tipping her head away from him slightly, so that his lips only touched her skin briefly. Then she hastily went to search the cupboards for two glasses.

"Where are the kids?" Lucas glanced around the room and the hallway that lead to the kitchen.

"They're at Karen's. Where have you been?" She asked, her eyes narrowing as she glanced over her shoulder to watch his response. Lucas looked at the watch that stood on the kitchen island. He was only 15 minutes late.

"I just got held up at work. You know how it is." He let out a sigh as he sat down on the chair by the table Brooke had set up for the two of them.

"Yeah, I know." she said knowingly, before returning to search through the cupboards. Lucas decided to drop the subject. There was nothing he could say or do to change her mind.

"This looks great. Is there a special occasion?" He looked from the neatly lined up candle sticks to the newly bought table cloths. The food was already on both their plates, and the wine was in the cooler in the middle of the table.

"No, I...I just need to talk to you, that's all." She said, sitting down on the opposite side of him. He frowned slightly, and grabbed the glass that she held out for him to take.

"I see..." He said, while looking down at his plate. There was a small piece of steak, with baby corn, baby carrots and small pieces of onion placed around on the plate, looking like the perfect meal. He frowned again, as he watched his plate. Baby corn, baby carrots... This looked awfully familiar.

"Are you pregnant?" He asked, startling her with his question. Her eyes grew wide, while his never left the table.

"Excuse me?" She choked out, placing the bottle back in the cooler after pouring wine to both of them.

"I said, are you pregnant?" His voice was cold; his eyes shot up and pierced through her. Her eyes welled up with tears. She breathed steadily in and out, relaxing herself to get calm enough to speak.

"What makes you think that?" She asked, her voice matched his coldness, her eyes turning black.

"Baby corn, baby carrots, you made me watch that episode of Full House several times, Brooke." he said, his voice softened a little at the thought of the time in their past where everything was okay.

"Do you really think I would use that way to tell you? Do you think our life has turned into some 90's sitcom?" Her voice got louder as Lucas just sat there, watching her.

"No, I'm not pregnant! But it's nice to see your reaction if I had been." she dropped her head between her arms, her small hands covering her tired eyes.

"No, it's just... I don't think this is the right time for us to have a baby. It wouldn't be right for the baby." He said, reaching out to stroke her hair. She pulled her head back and away from his embrace. Her mascara had been smudged under her eyes. Lucas had never seen her so hurt, broken and fragile before.

"You're right," she said, locking her eyes with his. He became scared of the tone in her voice, and her eyes that once held so much emotion became completely dark and empty of feeling.

"It wouldn't be right. Thank you for dinner, it was lovely. We should do this again sometime." She continued, grabbing his and her plate and tossed it in the sink. Lucas cringed at the sound of the broken plates, and the sight of food scattered across the counter. Brooke turned around and grabbed their wine glasses they had gotten at their wedding. Lucas thought for one second that she was going to throw the wine in his face, but she instead grabbed them calmly, almost scaring him with the grace with which she held on to those glasses. Those were one of her favourite possessions, given to her by Peyton as reconciliation present. He dropped his head, and sighed in relief when she didn't throw it in his face, but instead headed for the counter and threw the glasses in there as well. He winced at the sound of another broken glass cutting through his ears.

"Brooke..." He started, but immediately quieted when her eyes told him to leave it. She brushed past him, and grabbed the wine, before she went down the hallway to their bedroom, and shut the door with all the strength she had left. His head found their way to his hands, as his eyes watered at the thought of what he had just done. He had managed to screw it up once again, and he had a feeling that it would be the last time he would screw it up for her.

Brooke slid down in front of the bed, her hands gripped tightly around the bottle. She heard Lucas' feet shuffle across the floor. She heard him stopping outside her door for a second, and just imagined his broody face standing hesitantly on the other side. It was seconds before she told him to either get the hell out, or come in and say what he wanted to say, but before she could say anything, the sound of keys being picked up filled the silence, followed by the echoing of the front door being slammed shut.

"Jackass." she muttered, before bringing the bottle to her lips, hoping that the alcohol would wash away her sorrows, and make her feel numb for just one night. She usually didn't drink much. She had left her 'Party Brooke' persona behind her when she had graduated from college.

But she just couldn't help herself tonight. Everything had gone wrong, horribly wrong. She wanted to make him hurt with her words, not the other way around. For one night, she wanted to be in control, and maybe hear the heart of someone else shatter, instead of her own. But he couldn't even give her that.

"Son of a..." the sentence drowned, as she took another swig of the bottle.

--

Lucas gently turned the doorknob before he stepped into the dark room. He blinked a few times to get used to the darkness. It was then that he saw the trace of a small figure in front of the bed. He walked towards it and slid down next to her.

"Brooke?" He whispered, before gently nudging her shoulder. Her eyes were shut; her breasts were rising with her steady breathing. He noticed the empty bottle of wine and pushed it aside before he nudged her shoulder again.

"Brooke." he said louder this time. Her eyes fluttered open. He noticed the softness that lay in her eyes when they fell on him and then watched them empty themselves as she slowly started to remember again what had happened that night.

"You're back." she said simply, still meeting his eyes.

"Yeah, I'm back. I'm sorry, but-"

"Sorry isn't going to cut it this time, Lucas." She said tiredly. He closed his eyes, and nodded. How could he respond to that? He knew she was right.

Lucas started fidgeting with the hem of his shirt. He could feel Brooke's eyes piercing through him, and it made him nervous. Not only because she used to be good at reading his thoughts, but mostly because she hadn't watched him in that way in a long time.

"Where do you go?" She asked hesitantly. She didn't want to break the silence at first, but she just needed to know.

"What do you mean?" He asked softly. All traces of the previous coldness were gone.

"When you leave...where do you go?"

Lucas looked sheepishly away, before looking back into her eyes. They had softened again, and were waiting for his answer.

"Nowhere. I just sit in my car and watch our house. In some weird way, that seems to calm me. Sometimes it upsets me more than it calms me, and that freaks me out even more, you know?" He shook his head not quite able to believe that he was actually sharing something with her again. This was something he hadn't done in a long time. He watched her reaction, but she didn't move or raise an eyebrow in the famous 'Brooke Davis' way. She just sat there, completely still, watching him.

"So you're really not with her anymore?" She asked, her voice carried a small hope.

"No...no, I'm not." he said, while looking away. Brooke sighed, and tore her eyes away from him. With the silence surrounding them the only thing audible was their breaths echoing through the room.

"Why wasn't I enough for you?" She whispered. Her vision was blurry; her hands were resting in her lap.

"You are enough for me, Brooke," he answered, resting his hand on her thigh, nudging it gently. She tensed under his touch.

"It's just that...she was there. And I didn't mean for it to happen, but it did, and you have to believe me, if I could take it back, I would! But it turned into something so much more...it was different. She loved me," his voice lowered as he spoke the last part. Brooke's eyes shot up, the tears she held back were threatening to spill.

"I love you." She said louder than she intended to. Lucas kept his gaze in his lap, now tracing the thread in his pants.

"I know. But...but she showed me," "he said, staring at her, forcing her to look straight into his eyes. " Brooke could see the sincerity glowing from them, and something that she hadn't seen in him before. Regret? Sadness? Loneliness?

Suddenly, Brooke felt like she couldn't breathe. That one little sentence he had uttered stirred something inside her, and made her realise that she wasn't the only one who had hurt in this marriage. She could see it now, clearly, as to why he had done what he did. She had held a grudge towards him; she had forgotten to show him just how much he meant to her, and just how much she needed his love and approval. She, who once had been good in guiding people to her emotions, had forgotten to once again let him in.

It was too late now though. She had screwed this, and him, up.

"I want a divorce, Lucas," she whispered. The words were too delicate to be spoken loudly, and she knew once she had uttered them, she could never take them back. Lucas nodded. He had seen it coming. Brooke let her head fall down on his shoulder, before closing her eyes as she felt his warmth spread through her. She couldn't remember the last time she felt this close to him. One tear, then two, slipped down her cheeks, landing on her shivering lips.

"We both deserve more than this." Lucas nodded again, while gently resting his head on top of hers. There wasn't anything to do, or say. It was over.

They were both done fighting.

---

What's the verdict? Reviews are, as always, appreciated!