Disclaimer: Song that is briefly sung does not belong to me but to Amanda Perez. Song called "I Pray". Song in Italics.
Remus sat down on the grass, staring up at the sky, deep in thought about his days in Hogwarts, when he noticed someone walking up to him, coming from the direction of the lake. He smiled as he noted that it was Selene, who was heading back to the castle as he assumed that it was nearly dinner time. The full moon had just passed on Friday and he'd felt ill all Saturday and as his first full moon back at Hogwarts, he couldn't stop thinking about his friends.
"Selene, what are you doing out here?" he asked as he watched her walking by. She turned around and looked at him, as if noting him for the first time and smiled as she saw him, slowly walking over to him. She'd been walking by with her nose in a book and he guessed it was the reason that she hadn't noticed him. She reminded him somewhat of himself when he was at Hogwarts.
"I was reading; I like to read by the edge of the lake. What are you doing sitting here Professor?" she asked as she sat down next to him so that he wouldn't have to stare up at her to be able to talk to her. He mildly smiled as he looked at her.
"I was thinking about my days at Hogwarts," he said as he stared at her. She smiled as she looked at him.
"Anything worth remembering?" she asked.
"Yes," he said as he stared at her. She merely smiled and looked across at the trees before them where the sun was beginning to plunge behind the trees. She stared at the tops of the trees that seemed to be in flames for the sun was such a fiery red this afternoon. She smiled as she stared at it and thought about her childhood, thinking that there was nothing worth remembering but swings and sunsets.
"I wish that there were memories that I could remember so fondly but all there is for me if that feeling of wind rushing by you as you swing on the swing set, trying to jump into the sunset," she said a she slowly turned around to look at him. There was a very sad and somewhat weak smile gracing her features. She had such a lovely mouth.
"Why is that?" he asked as he stared at her. She turned around and looked at the sunset and thought about her family. She was raised as an only child, but her parents were never really there for her. Her mother was a muggle, who was constantly kept on a magical overdose by her father and her father hated her.
"I was my father's prisoner, just like my mother," she said as she turned to look at Remus. "My father drugged my mother, who is muggle with his magic and he had me drugged by taking my magic with the aid of this," she said as she pulled out a leather strap that looked like a collar with a silver leaf design on it. The silver was becoming tarnished from lack of wear.
In the first volume of Dover's he explained that muggles could be drugged if they felt waves of pure magic, because their systems were not used to magical vibrations. And for someone who had read Dover's it was fairly easy to let out waves of magic as one could send an insurmountable amount of their magic without ever wasting it. If you were a person born with magical abilities and those abilities were bound and taken from you with a collar, you'd also feel drugged, for you are being separated from something that is an integral part of you.
"That's completely illegal, how did he manage to pull it off?" he asked as he stared at her with a furrowed brow.
"Who was there to complain? My mother and I were both constantly drugged and even if I weren't I was too young to know or to say anything to anyone. And if my mother weren't drugged, she wouldn't understand because she was a muggle," she said as she turned her gaze back to the sun, which had already been completely covered by the trees so that you cold only briefly see it's red rays through the foliage.
"Then how did you escape from your father?" he asked as he stared at her. She smiled as she stared at the forest.
"Professor Dumbledore saved me. He heard news of a very strange family in the outskirt of a desolate village and he came. I went to answer the door, because my father was out and when Dumbledore saw the collar he immediately understood. He broke the collar," she said as she turned to look at Remus. Her face was suddenly very sad. "My father is in Azkaban, and after Dumbledore explained everything to my mother she abandoned me and Dumbledore took me in for a few months until he found a wizarding orphanage to take me in."
"How old were you?" Remus asked as he stared at her with a furrowed brow.
"Nine. The Orphanage was horrible, but Professor Dumbledore visited me often and brought me books to read. I spent most of my time at a park with book and would just read. The years were awful, but I learned to smile about everything and it made everything seem, not so dark and awful," she said.
"That sounds dreadful, but look how you turned out. You're sweet, brilliant, good natured, friendly, and very beautiful," he said as he stared at her. She smiled as she looked down at her hands. "I don't think that I have ever seen anyone better adjusted then you. You have so many friends and you get along so well with most people that you meet and you have a very natural talent at making people feel comfortable with you right away-"
"But I don't trust anyone," she said as she looked up into his eyes. "I've never told Jean or Laura about my parents or about the fact that I lived in an orphanage for so long and they are my best friends. I've never told anyone, except for you. I don't think that is very well adjusted."
"Everyone has small problems, Selene. It seems to me that you're getting over one of yours," he said as he looked at her. She looked at him and tilted her head the way a pup would sometimes do as she was somewhat confused. "You trusted me and you've hardly known me for very long."
"But a part of me feels like I have known you for years, like we're old friends," she said as she looked at him. He smiled as he stared at her. He felt like he'd known her for years also, though he could know her for his whole life and he guessed that he would never really understand her.
"I know what you mean," he said as he stared into her eyes. She nudged him on his shoulders with hers.
"You haven't wished me a happy birthday, even though it was yesterday," she said as she stared at the sun.
"Yes, I'm very sorry, but I started to feel very ill on Friday and I slept in on Saturday," he said as he stared at her. He didn't want to lie to her, but he couldn't tell her that he was a werewolf. Mainly because she was a student and he didn't want word to leak out that he was a werewolf. Neither did he want to push her away. He feared what she would say if she were to find out that he was a werewolf, he feared her reaction.
"It's all right," she said as she lay back and stared at the darkened sky. She guessed that the sun had completely set already and the sky was beginning to get into its deeper shades of blue, she moon was slowly climbing up the sky. It was still rather large, but it wasn't full anymore.
"Did you get any gifts?" Remus asked as he stared down at her. She continued to stare at the sky.
"Jean gave me a bracelet, it's very nice. Laura gave me a new quill that came with scented ink. Professor Dumbledore gave me a book about ancient charms," Selene said as she looked at the sky. "Look at the sky Professor, isn't' it so beautiful?" she asked as she stared at the sky.
"Yes it is," Remus said as he stared into her eyes. There was nothing more beautiful then her.
"If I had a star in my hand for every time you made me smile I'd have the entire evening sky in the palm of my hand," she recited, staring at the small dots that were becoming visible in the steadily darkening sky. Remus stared at her and wondered where she had gotten that from. "I loved that saying. I think I heard it when I was a baby. I think it was when my mother was still in love with my father."
"Before he found out she was a muggle," he asked as he stared at her. She shook her head.
"Before she found out he was a wizard," she said as she stared at the sky. "I think that she's the reason that he imprisoned us the way that he did. My father did love her, but she stopped loving him when she found out what he was. I guess that he thought that she would leave him if she knew and so he drugged her when she found out so that she wouldn't leave him. And he was right, she did leave."
"Why did he drug you then?" he asked as he stared at her.
"Well if he didn't I would have found out sooner or later what he was doing to my mother and would have told someone. He drugged me so that I wouldn't know," she said as she looked at him. He nodded as he stared at her, guessing that her theory was probably right. "Besides, I think that he resented me because I look like her. I hate the way I look, every time I see my face I think about her and how she just abandoned me."
"It's not the outside that matters Selene, it's the inside and you're wonderful," he said as he stared at her. She slowly turned to look at him and smiled. "Why do you keep that collar?" he suddenly asked as he stared at her.
"Dumbledore took it away from me and told me he was going to dispose of it, but I didn't let him, I wanted to keep it. Event though my father used it to control me, it's the only thing that he ever gave me, the only thing that I have left of him," she said as she stared at Remus. He nodded and lay next to her, staring at the sky.
"What do you want to be when you leave Hogwarts this year?" he asked, wanting to change the subject.
"A healer, or a musician," she said as she stared at the sky. "I love to sing and I love to play the guitar, but of course that probably won't work out, so I want to be a healer. I've always enjoyed taking care and healing people and I excel in all the areas of study that are required to become a Healer."
"It seems like you have thought of this a good deal," he said, staring at her face which was slowly becoming lit by the light of the moon as the moon was making it slow journey up the sky. He never figured that she would be the type to want to become a musician and found it to be something quite unique. "My friends don't know that either."
"Why do you tell me things that you don't tell them?" he asked as he stared at her. She turned her gaze to look at him.
"Because I don't feel like you're judging me," she said as she stared at him.
"Why do you think that they would judge you?" he asked as he stared at her.
"My father is a prisoner in Azkaban. Jean's mother is a Wizangamot and Laura's parents are Aurors, their parents wouldn't be very accepting about my father being a prisoner," she said as she continued to stare at the sky. "When they ask me about my parents, I ignore the questions and pretend that I can't hear them because I'm reading a book, or I say that I have to go somewhere. Eventually they completely forget that they had asked me about my parents. Besides, I don't want to have to explain the awful childhood of being in a wizarding orphanage and I don't want anyone to feel pity for me."
"I understand. So why do you want to be a musician?" he asked as he stared at her. She stared up at the sky and there was somewhat of a smile on her face as he looked over at her.
"I started to sing, to drowned out shouting or take myself to another place so that I wouldn't think, it's the same reason why enjoyed reading so much, but music was a little different, because I felt like it filled me up, filled the void that was left," she said as she stared up at the sky. "I taught myself to play the piano, to play the drums, to play the guitar, but above everything I think that I just love to sing.
"You were in my dreams/ Before I even knew/ There was a you and me/ Now I can't wait to see your smile/ When I wake up each day/ It makes worth while/," she sand softly as she stared up at the sky. If there was anything that she was not embarrassed about, it was of singing in front of people, though she had never before seen a reason to do it. She figured that he was the first person that knew that she sang.
Remus stared at her for a moment. She sang very beautifully and he could feel his heart thudding within his chest as he stared at her. She was lovely, sweet, good natures and it seemed that as the amount of time with her increased there were only more loving traits to find in her. She was simply perfection, its embodiment, living and breathing. If he had once ever feared falling in love with anyone, it would have been with Selene, but the reason that he didn't fear falling in love with her, was because he had already fallen in love with her and that love did not scare him.
"You sing very beautifully, is that your song or is it something that you previously knew?" he asked as he stared at her. She slowly turned to look into his eyes, there was s somewhat serious, but very peaceful look her face, her smile was no nearly so grand as what he was accustomed to, but she still looked as charming as ever.
"It's a new song that I have been working on recently," she said as she stared meaningfully into his eyes, before turning her gaze back to the immense dark blue above her. "It isn't finished and I don't think that it will ever be finished. It's too mellow and sweet and loving and I'm more into sad songs backed up with a guitar, and drums and a bass. Why are you looking at me like that?"
He stared at her smiling face. "You are simply far too perfect," he said as he stared at her. She smiled but turned away looking someone what saddened.
"No one is perfect. Believe me when I say, I am very far from perfect. I may seem very friendly, sweet, strong and brilliant, but I am not. I am far more antisocial than you would think and I may be sweet and kind, but I easily lose my temper, and I can completely disregard someone else's. I am also very weak and as for my brilliance, well anyone could be brilliant, all you have to do is pick up a book," she said as she looked at the stars, not wishing to look at him.
"I realize that no one is perfect, but you nearly close to are," he said as he stared at her. She turned around at him and tried to smile, but there was something severely bothering her. She sat up and stared down into his eyes.
"Well what's wrong with you Professor? You seem far more perfect than I," she said as she looked down at him. There was no escaping her gaze and he dearly wished to. He felt that she was looking into his soul and that she would soon see the wolf in him and pull away in disgust. Remus sat up and looked around, avoiding her gaze.
"I bottle and suppressed many emotions, grief, anger, hate, which isn't the best thing to do for you usually explode. Therefore I remain fairly solitary, for I don't want anyone to see that side of me. Besides it's been hard to me to get close to people because everyone I have ever loved have all passed away and left me alone. I fear close company, because I fear I will lose them," he said as he slowly turned around to look at her. He really didn't know what was compelling to speak to her like this, especially as she was his student, but he couldn't help himself.
"Sounds like we have a lot in common professor," she said, giving him a smile of bitterness.
"Yes it does," he said as he stared at her.
TBC…