A Second Chance
By S.L
Chapter Four: The Expected Awakening
The atmosphere in the Potter's cottage in Hogsmeade lacked its usual Christmas charm that year. Sirius and Bran weren't running around planning tricks, and there had been no hurried Quidditch games in the backfield, or trips up to Hogwarts to go skating on the lake. Lily hadn't taken the kids out Christmas shopping to Diagon Alley, and there had been no fun visitors, or nights spent over at friends' houses for dinner.
Instead, Lily, James and Sirius had started the holiday by shooing the kids up to bed while they, and Remus, retreated to the kitchen to discuss the new event in very low whispers. They had spent the next few days following the same isolated sort of pattern. Though Lily felt awful about all the late night discussions with her husband and friends, she found that she did little to help the situation. Usually she enjoyed taking the holiday to spend as much time with her children as possible. She got to see them at school of course, but no one really wanted to associate with their parents when they had so many friends about them. Now however, she found that her mind just kept drifting back to the Hospital Wing where her firstborn son lay unconscious in a bed.
James, too, was in a bad sort of way. He was barely speaking to either her or the Marauders, unless he needed to voice another question that usually was unanswerable. Though he liked to be present when Lily talked things over with Remus and Sirius, he seemed to want to spend the rest of his time sitting in the back corner of the kitchen, watching the snow fall on the back porch.
Of course, Sirius was doing his best to pull his friend out of the habit. But even his halfhearted attempts at making his old friend laugh were distracted. Unfortunately, his need to cheer James up and bringing him back to his usual energy level left Bran feeling a bit put out about the whole situation. He had been hoping to spend the majority of the holiday with Sirius, as he was his favorite 'uncle.'
It hadn't been Lily or James' intention to isolate either Bran or Mare for those days, but Lily was forced to admit that they hadn't been very considerate of the kids. The blame, she felt, lay entire with her. It had been her choice not to tell Bran and Mare about their older brother Harry, and now just didn't seem like a good time to bring it up. She couldn't ask them to accept and appreciate something she had yet to grasp herself. She was probably being selfish about the whole situation, she realized later, in wanting to keep Harry to herself, but she rationalized, that she would tell them when things became clearer to the rest of them.
Remus remained the most level headed of them all, as always. He had accepted the news with his usual thoughtfulness, and after voicing his concerns he settled back to wait to see how things would unfold. He listened to Lily and sat with James when he found him gazing absently out the window. Even more importantly, he tried to divide his time between the kids so they wouldn't feel too left out.
Luckily enough, though the kids weren't happy about the tone their holiday had taken, they did not voice their opinions. These were very dark times, and they knew that their family was involved with a secret order to fight against Voldemort. Usually when their parents and their friends were in such a mood it was because there was something unknown going on in the war.
Things didn't change until five days after break had begun, when Dumbledore sent a school owl that disrupted breakfast with a quick note to say their 'visitor' had awoken.
Lily had read the note quickly, after removing it from the barn owl, and passed it wordlessly to James across the table. She saw Bran crane his neck to see if he could make out the words, while Mare offered the owl a few crumbs for her toast. Sirius and Remus exchanged a quick glance.
"We'd better get up to the castle," James said, crumpling the note and putting it in his pocket before Bran could make out the words over his shoulder. He looked over at Sirius expectantly.
"Er- right," Sirius said, reluctantly putting a half eaten piece of toast back on his plate. "I think today would be a good day to stop of at Grimmauld Place and make a quick trip to Diagon Alley," he forced a grin in Mare and Bran's direction. "How does that sound to you guys?"
Mare blinked at Sirius and turned to her mother. "Mum? Are you and Dad going to come?"
"Sorry Mare," Lily said, genuinely sorry that again, she was ignoring her children. Already her heart was pounding at the idea that Harry was awake and waiting for her. All she wanted to do was get up to Hogwarts. "We've got something to take care of with Dumbledore first."
Lily kissed her children goodbye and then went to put on her cloak while James pulled Remus aside and whispered something hurriedly in his ear. He joined her a moment later, running a hand through his messy hair and leading her into the next room. "I'm going to owl Moony when we've learned something more, they'll keep the kids busy until then."
Mutely, Lily nodded, and anxiously waited for James to pull his boots on and fasten his cloak about his shoulders. She knew Remus and Sirius would do a good job of keeping her children distracted.
The trek up to the castle was far too long in Lily's opinion, and all too silent. By now the snowstorm from the night before had stopped, but they still found themselves trudging through a healthy amount of snow. It was slow going, and James wasn't a very responsive companion, but he gripped Lily's hand tightly in his own and kept them moving forward, so Lily assumed he was doing better with the idea of meeting their son, and decided not to press him on the issue.
Dumbledore was waiting for them in the front entrance when they arrived, shaking snow off their boots and leaning tiredly against the front door. He looked more pleased with himself than usual, and his eyes seemed to sparkle their brightest as he moved to greet with the Potters.
"Lily, James, I'm glad you came so quickly, we've been waiting for you," he said, pulling out his wand and casting a drying charm on Lily, who had been trying to shake snow out of her hair.
She gave him a grateful smile, and grabbed James' hand again. "Did he ask for us? How is he? What's he like Albus?" She asked hurriedly. Though his eyes were locked steadily on Dumbledore, James remained quiet.
Dumbledore winked at Lily and then turned, motioning for them to follow. "He woke early this morning actually, and after the initial shock of his whereabouts he's been doing well since. He's currently running Poppy ragged, trying to get out of the Hospital Wing to take a look through Hogwarts. He and I had a brief conversation this morning, but I agreed to wait for you to join us before we continued any further." He shot a look back at Lily and James and smiled widely. "And yes, he did ask for you, it was one of the first things he said when he woke up."
At this James seemed genuinely startled, and pulled his hand back from Lily. "Really? He asked about us?" He said, catching up with Dumbledore and walking level with him.
The headmaster just gave James a smile. "Indeed he did, he seemed very excited about the prospect of speaking with the two of you. He also asked after Sirius, you should know, as well as a few others you might be familiar with."
"Who?" Lily asked, keeping pace with the other two, and drawing up on Dumbledore's other side.
"The Weasley family for one, all nine of them, Remus of course, young Hermione Granger, Sirius, Tonks, and various other members of the Order," his eyes sparkled again at that. "Also, he asked after our own resident Potions Master."
James choked, and missed a step.
"I beg your pardon?" Lily asked flatly; voicing what she knew her husband could not.
Dumbledore turned to her. "Oh yes, he seemed quite concerned about certain members of the staff, though he was more than pleased that everyone was alive and alright."
"Is that so?" Lily asked, unable to pull anything else from her scrambled thoughts, she had too much to think about already.
"Indeed," Dumbledore said. "I told him that you two would be the best to answer the majority of his questions. I thought it would be a good opportunity for the three of you to get to know one another."
They were all silent for a moment, each thinking their own privet thoughts. Then Dumbledore gave James a long look. "James?" he asked, drawing the attention of the younger man. "Do you think you could spare me a quick moment?"
"Huh?" James asked, pulled from his absentminded daze. "Er- yeah sure Albus, now?"
"Yes," Dumbledore drew up short, causing both the Potters to stop mid-step. "Lily would you mind going on by yourself? We'll join you in just a few minutes."
Lily traded a look with James to make sure he was all right with this and nodded once he gave her a reassuring smile. "Of course, Albus."
Almost hesitantly she continued on her way down the hall and up the stairs. True, she was almost desperate now to see her son, but she felt a little anxious about leaving James behind. Now that she was so close to actually speaking with Harry she was nervous.
"Do you have any idea how horrible this tastes?" The laughing voice was carried through the door of the Hospital Wing and echoed down the hall.
Lily stopped up short- that was Harry, she was sure of it. Walking faster now, Lily closed the distance to the door, and hovered in the entryway.
The stranger she had come to recognize as her son Harry was sitting upright in his bed, legs hanging over the side, his back facing the doorway. Poppy was standing in front of him, giggling pleasantly, and accepting an empty vile from Harry.
"Oh hush up Harry, it will help with the residual fever," she said in an unusually good manner. "We must get you back up to top notch health before I'll release you."
"Please Poppy," Harry begged, leaning back on his palms and watching as the medi-witch busied herself with the tray of potions she had placed on the bed next to him. "I promise I'll be a good boy, I won't strain myself or anything."
She shot him a glare and thrust another vial into his face. "This is the last one."
Sighing Harry accepted it and shot it down in one gulp. He shivered and made a gagging sound as he handed it back to Poppy empty. As he did so he turned slightly and caught sight of Lily in the doorway and his smile faded.
It would have been impossible for Lily to explain the series of emotions that crossed Harry's face, but finally he seemed to settle on a blank sort of expression that revealed nothing. "Hello," he said after a moment, lips twitching slightly as if he wanted to smile but was not able to.
Lily started crying right then. It had been one thing to see Harry unconscious. It was quite another to hear his voice, watch him move and see him animated. She saw a piece of James in the way he held himself up on his palms, the way he shifted, obviously uncomfortable with the situation. There was a hint of Bran's casual ease in his posture, and of Mare's attentiveness in the way he watched her expectantly. And when she drew her gaze to her eyes… she saw something of herself.
"Ahem," Poppy cleared her throat and gathered up her tray of empty vials. "Excuse me for a few moments," she said hurriedly. "I think I'll just go ahead and clean these up." Carefully balancing the tray on an outstretched hand Poppy made her hasty retreat back into her office and left the two alone.
Harry coughed and the sound echoed through the room. "The headmaster told me that you already know about who I am and why I'm here," he hesitated. "I'm not sure I really know how to explain…"
Lily pulled herself away from the doorway and took a few steps into the room. "You don't need to explain yet," she said gently smiling. "How are you feeling?"
He gave her a weak smile and shrugged. "Like I've been run over by a hippogriff, but I've felt worse." He held up one of the empty vials that Poppy had left on the bed. "Besides Poppy keeps forcing all these horrible potions on me, so I'm sure I'll be back to normal in no time at all."
"Of course," Lily said, still unsure of how to continue. She took a few steps closer to the bed. "So, um, how long have you been awake now?"
Harry's lips twitched and he swung his body over the other side of the bed so he was facing Lily. "A few hours now. The headmaster and I had a few moments to talk, but otherwise I've been stuck in here." He gave her another weak smile. "I'm afraid Poppy refuses to let me out until I'm deemed healthy again."
"Ah, I see you've have had a moment to get acquainted, then," Dumbledore himself said as he strolled into the room with James on his heels.
Lily turned, let out a breath that she hadn't known she'd been holding and waited for her husband to meet her. Needing his reassuring touch, she reached out for his hand and drew him close to her. Eyes not moving from Harry, James moved close to her and squeezed her hand tightly.
As Dumbledore approached towards Harry, he gave him a genuinely pleased smile, but did not offer any words.
Dumbledore looked from Harry and back to Lily and James and then nodded to himself. "All right, I suppose now that we are all here again we can have a quick chat." He turned to Harry first. "I know that you aren't completely recovered yet, but before we make any decisions I think that there are a few questions that need to be answered."
"Why are you here?" James blurted out, before even Dumbledore had a chance to finish speaking.
All eyes turned to Lily's husband, but James was staring firmly into Harry's own emerald green ones.
"I'm afraid that's a rather complicated answer," Harry said simply.
"We've all made the time to hear it," James retorted, a little too dryly in Lily's opinion.
"I see," Harry said sharply and nodded. Lily's eyes darted between the two of them; this wasn't the way this was supposed to go at all. Or at least it wasn't as she had envisioned it.
"Why don't we all have a seat them?" Dumbledore suggested, drawing up a chair for himself.
James made no move to sit, so Lily stayed at his side, wincing slightly at the pressure he was using on her hand.
"Very well," Harry said after giving them a moment to follow Dumbledore's example and take a seat. Then he sighed heavily and removed his glasses to rub at his eyes. "There is no one real reason. I told the Headmaster this morning," here he nodded to Dumbledore in recognition. "That the Albus Dumbledore in my own world had given me information about the spell that brought me here several years ago. At first I think he meant it to be something for me to think about, only, a reason to keep me going. In the end however, the Headmaster knew that it was a theory that I would need to test. It became necessary for me to attempt the spell, just in case.
"You see," he hesitated, his fingers gripping the sheets of the bed beneath him. "The world I came from was never one that I really- I suppose you could say- appreciated. My parents," he inclined his head towards James and Lily, "Died."
Lily let out a sharp intake of breath.
"-when I was just a baby." Harry continued, ignoring Lily. "I didn't even know magic existed until my Hogwarts letter came. As you can imagine, I didn't exactly have a happy childhood- I grew up with the Dursley's," he explained.
"My sister?" Lily gasped, breaking out of her shocked state. She let her husband's hand fall from her side in order to grip her arm. She leaned forward. "Petunia and her horrible husband? You were sent to live with them?"
James finally broke his gaze with Harry and looked down at Lily, with a frown on his face. "Vernon you mean? I didn't know his name was Dursley."
"Unfortunately yes," Harry continued. "Of course, once I entered into the wizarding world it was a different story. The first few years were the best I had ever known. Then there was Voldemort."
Harry's audience all bowed their heads in understanding; they knew all too well what kind of effect the Dark Lord could have on just one person.
"I was targeted, and when Voldemort couldn't get at me, he got at everyone I loved. Everyone," he reiterated sharply, then he sighed, shoulders sagging. "Friends, schoolmates, comrades, teachers, pets, anyone who was close to me was in potential danger.
Lily bit her lip, she wanted to ask why he had been targeted, but she wasn't sure it would be appropriate. They barely knew one another.
"I can't tell you what the final straw was. In the end, there seemed to be so many things to cause me to leave that world. I stayed for as long as I could until I finally approached the Headmaster, and reminded him of the information he'd given me years before. It was the right time," Harry licked his lips and looked back at them. "I needed a chance to start over, to regain what I had lost."
Harry paused and cleared his throat and looked down at the hands he had clasped in his laps. "The great wrong done to me that I focused on to activate the spell was that my parents died when I was a baby." The words were soaked up into the slowly approaching silence of the room.
"So you decided to leave your world," James asked, finally speaking. "You came here?"
For a moment it looked like Harry would ignore the question then he looked up and locked eyes with James. "The one thing I've regretted the most, is not getting the chance to know my parents. I focused the spell on that one fact, on that one hope that I would get that second chance. I wished for a moment. An opportunity. I wished for a mistake to be corrected." He waved a hand around indicating the room around them. "Here I am."
The words were soaked up into the silence of the room.
"Look," Harry continued when no one made any move to speak. "I don't really know what I expected, but just the fact that the two of your are alive make all of this worth it." Harry shot them an intense look; one that made Lily want to either dissolve into tears right then, holding her husbands to her, or run to Harry and wrap her arms around him. Instead, she was gripping James' arm so hard she knew there would be bruises. After a minute, Harry broke his gaze with her and looked slowly around the room. "I'm not sure how I'll fit in with this world, or how I can be explained. I don't know if I'll be able to regain the relationships that I had in my own world, or if I'll even be accepted here. I'm taking a chance."
"Oh Harry," Lily sobbed, tears openly streaming down her face now. She dropped her hands on James' arm and took a single step forward.
Dumbledore cleared his throat. "Harry and I had a few moments to talk this morning, while we waited on your arrival. I've made it clear that no matter how things work out, I will make sure he has a place in this world."
"That won't be necessary," James said in a hard tone. "Harry will stay with us."
Somehow this hardly seemed like the heartwarming gesture the words made it out to be. Lily managed a small, comforting smile for Harry, but found that she had to resist the urge to give her husband a questioning look. For his part, Harry looked uncertain and shot Dumbeldore a quick look.
"I don't expect this to be easy on anyone," Harry said slowly, more slowly. "Though I don't intend to make it more difficult than it already is. I really don't think that you both need to acknowledge me right off, if at all, and I don't want to force you too."
James seemed done with speaking for the moment so Lily slowly pulled her hand out from his and took a few steps forward. "You're right, you took a chance Harry," she said slowly, she didn't want to rush herself. "James and I," she gave her husband a look to make sure that she could speak for the both of them, he was staring at Harry blankly so she found no help there. "Well, James and I want you to be a part of our lives, and we want to get to know you." She stopped for a second so she could compose herself, tears were threatening in her eyes again. "You'll come home with us tonight, and we'll sort things out from there, no one is in any hurry."
Harry cracked the first genuine smile Lily had ever seen on his face, and nodded as if agreeing with her. "Alright, I can live with that, just so long as everyone is sure."
Dumbledore laid a heavy hand on one of Harry's shoulders and sighed, a kind smile on his face. "Well now that we've had our ice breaker, I think it's time we discuss some of the intricacies of this situation."
But, Lily barely heard him. Instead she reached out for one of Harry's hands and held it firmly in the two of hers. He squeezed her fingers gently, but he was looking at Dumbledore. For now, all that mattered, was that she had her son back.