A Second Chance

By S.L

Chapter Seven: A Place in the World

Harry was leaning his forehead against the cool glass of his bedroom window, slowly stroking Hedwig's feathers as he thought about what all of this meant.

Never, had he even considered the possibility of Voldemort being alive in this world. When he had used the spell to bring himself here he had thought he was bringing himself to a place where things were different, where he could be a different person and live a different life. This changed absolutely everything.

After the night that Sirius had rushed out, Harry had scoured the house for all recent editions of the Prophet and forced himself to read every article. From what he could deduce, Voldemort had been a prominent figure in Britain for years, Harry had never been alive to destroy him as a baby all those years ago; his reign of terror had gone unchecked. Now he held Britain in fear, and his attacks were numbered as high as his casualty list. He had even begun to strike on the continent, gathering Death Eaters to him all throughout Europe.

How the possibility had slipped unnoticed through Harry's mind, he didn't know. He had been so caught up in what this world being perfect, that he hadn't thought things through. All he had cared about was that his family was alive, that Sirius and Dumbledore were as healthy as he could hope for, and that his old owl had even found her way back to him. He couldn't have asked for more, and now this?

Things always had to work out horribly for him, Harry thought bitterly. He knew he was the only one who could destroy Voldemort, he who had destroyed him already once before. That itself had taken nearly everything Harry had to offer, and nearly everyone he had loved. Could he really do that all over again? After all he had come here to be normal; couldn't he just leave this into the hands of the Aurors and the Order as any normal boy would?

Obviously no one would expect him to suddenly take up his wand and stand in the front lines as he had been expected to in his world. Here, he wasn't the Boy-Who-Lived; he wasn't 'The Chosen One.' No one here even knew he existed except for the people currently in the Potter cottage and Albus Dumbledore himself. If he just faded into the background and pretended he didn't know anything about Voldemort who could know to blame him?

But even Harry knew that was a lie. As much as he wanted to be normal and to stay out of this war, he knew he would never be able to, not even if he had the chance in a thousand different worlds. Voldemort was his rival in every way, and the mere fact that he existed, grated him. He knew he would never be able to live with himself if he didn't do everything within his power to rid himself of the self styled Dark Lord.

Harry had come to this world to be normal, and opposing Voldemort would make him anything but normal. If he took up his old habits and post, would he become a figurehead again? Would his name grace the front page; would parents come up to him with babies named after him, would he receive letters of thanks or letters of hatred from strangers throughout the world? Would he get those glances, and would whispered comments follow him wherever he went? It had been bad enough the first time for everyone, even the people closest to him, to be afraid of what he was capable of, to think of him as being mad or even dangerous. It had been impossible not to divulge into dark magic to rid the world of Lord Voldemort the first time, and Harry's apparently natural abilities in the field had left more people than himself afraid of his powers and capabilities. Harry knew that more than he had been frightened that he could be tempted to become a Dark wizard himself. Just one step out of line was all it would have taken to make Harry Potter, Voldemort's right hand man, rather than his enemy.

Harry knew he was a powerful wizard; at the least, that much he didn't try to deny. There weren't many who could produce a full patronus at the age of thirteen and teach a secret defense organization under the Ministry's nose at the age of fifteen. He was extraordinary in every way, and he had fought all his life not to be. If he came out in opposition to Voldemort in this world and joined in the war, his abilities would soon become apparent.

Could he really take the looks of surprise, horror, and disbelief on Lily and James' faces? What about Remus and Sirius? Then there was Dumbledore. The man already suspected something about Harry, he was sure, and he didn't think that he could stand the suspicion that would follow if he didn't at least have Dumbledore's support, that much he could not bear.

No, he was stuck. He could neither fight in this war, nor ignore it, either way he wouldn't be able to live with himself. Everything he had wanted was now tainted.

Someone was knocking politely on his door. Reluctant to leave his melancholy mood, Harry peeled himself away from the glass to answer the caller.

"Hey, Harry." It was Remus, holding a seaming mug of hot chocolate up. "It's got marshmallows," he said temptingly.

Smiling, Harry accepted the cup and allowed Remus into the room, choosing to return to his seat by the window. After a brief look around, Remus followed him in and fell casually onto the bed.

"You missed dinner," then he winced. "Well you didn't miss much really, Lily had to pick something up from the Three Broomsticks."

Harry chuckled at the now familiar joke about Lily's cooking and took a long sip of the warm hot chocolate. "Sorry, I guess I got a little wrapped up in my thoughts is all."

"Yes, I had noticed," Remus, responded dryly, then he began to look around the room. Harry hadn't done anything to it, it still looked decidedly unlived in, but his clothes were now strewn about and his trunk sat open in the corner. Remus picked up a half opened book off the bed and started flicking through it absently. "You've been bothered since Sirius left that night actually, I noticed." The comment was made in an offhand sort of way.

Harry turned to Remus to answer, and swiftly rose up and snatched the book from Remus hands and snapped it shut. He swallowed and gently set the book down out of reach. "I'm sorry Remus, I don't know what's wrong with me today." Hiding his actions Harry bent his head into his hands and tried to look weary. He felt a little guilty, trying to make Remus think something was wrong with him, but he didn't really want to explain why he couldn't let the man flip through the pages of a copy of a book from Harry's world. He really didn't feel like explaining what he was doing in Modern Magical History, had Remus been able to pick out his name. He would have to remember to be more careful with his other world possessions next time.

"It's alright Harry," Remus said, as always, instantly forgiving. "I guess you're still having a little trouble becoming accustomed?"

Harry pulled back, sighed and rested the back of his head against the glass. "I'm still feeling a little unsettled and sick; I'll admit that much. Also, there are certain things I'm having some trouble adjusting to. Everything is so dramatically different. Even you, really," Harry added, hoping to drive the conversation in another direction.

"Is that so?" Remus said, peeking up a little bit. "Tell me, how different am I? Were we close?"

Harry shrugged. "Yeah," then he smiled. "You were the best Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher I ever had."

At that Remus chuckled. "Don't tell James that, or he'll be insanely jealous; he fancies himself the best, I think." He paused, then, "was I really your teacher?"

"Yes, my third year," Harry laughed at Remus. "I didn't see you too much really. The first time we met, you were just my professor. You never even told me you were friends with my dad until halfway through the year, and I didn't even know how close you guys had been until the year was almost over."

Remus didn't say anything, other than making an interested noise in the back of his throat.

"But in the end things worked out, after…" Harry swallowed, thinking of when Sirius died, and looked down at his shoes. "After things started getting bad," he continued a little more solemnly. "You were around a lot more, you know, when you could. Though Dumbledore had you running around most of the time, but I got to see you at least on summers, here and there, at Grimmauld Place."

"You used to stay at Grimmauld Place then, Harry?" Remus asked.

Harry looked up, still reminiscing. "Yeah, I mean, it was Sirius' so..." He didn't much feel like explaining that time of his life.

Looking worn, Remus scratched his chin and nodded. "You and Sirius were very close then weren't you?"

Lips twitching, Harry thought about that. Yes, in a way he and Sirius had been very close indeed: he was the next best thing to a father that Harry had had. In another way though, he and Sirius had never really had much time to spend with one another, just the one summer at Grimmauld Place when you stopped to think about it. After that, things had been strained at times; Sirius had always wanted a friend more than he wanted a godson.

"Yeah, we were," he consented finally, having thought about it for a bit. "It's very strange having to get to know him all over again, and you," Harry amended. "You both are very different."

Remus laughed, "how so?"

"Things were a lot harder on the both of you than they seem to be here," Harry admitted solemnly, and then he perked up. "Also you were involved in a rather dramatic romance with Tonks," Harry smiled; he hadn't been able to resist slipping that in. Also he had been curious as to what happened with the young Auror.

To his surprise, Remus blushed furiously and avoided his gaze. "Nymphadora? Sirius' cousin?"

Harry laughed heartily. "That's the one, it was a rather torrid affair actually."

"Oh god," Remus said rubbing at his eyes in an embarrassed fashion, his cheeks were still pink. "I don't think Sirius would ever quite forgive me."

"Once things came out in the open you two were very happy," Harry said, serious once again. "It was nice that someone had a bit of happiness in life finally, and you two deserved it." He looked back down at his hands, and wondered about the possibilities. Tonks and Remus would never be able to legally marry or have children, due to Remus' lycanthropy. When Harry had left his world, he had left them both settling down in Cornwall, just happy to have each other. When he had made his last visit to see them he had realized that he had never seen either one of them quite as content as they were then.

"And Sirius approved?" Remus asked, with a hint of something that made Harry snap his head up and give him a sharp look. Perhaps there was already something going on with the two of them here as well. Was Remus just nervous about Sirius' reaction?

"I don't really know," Harry admitted honestly. Though Remus and Tonks had begun their relationship when Sirius was alive, Harry had never discussed it with him. He wasn't even sure Sirius ever knew, though he had always assumed that he had been aware.

"Oh," Remus said deflated. Then he heaved sigh and stood up. "Listen Harry, I know we're all splitting up now the holidays are over. I just wanted to let you know that if you would like to write to me, I'd love to hear from you." He nodded his head at Hedwig and grinned. "Now that you have Hedwig, I thought you'd like it if there was someone outside of Hogwarts you could talk to. You know, give the girl a chance to stretch her wings every once in a while."

Harry smiled up at Remus, genuinely moved. "That means a lot to me Remus. I will, I'll tell you about my first week back at school as soon as I get through it."

Chuckling, Remus made for the door. "Good luck with that Harry; I know I couldn't go back to classes after the break you've had."

Harry snorted in agreement. School had been one of the things that he, Dumbledore, and his parents had discussed on his first night of consciousness. At first he had been quite shocked to learn that he was still school age, at twenty-years-old, but then he was quite pleased with the situation. Shortly after his parents own graduation Hogwarts had switched from a seven year, to a ten-year institution. They hoped to provide more training and allow a longer period of time to stay out of the war. It made sense to keep students at Hogwarts for so long, in a way, and Harry wasn't about to complain. He had never really liked leaving Hogwarts early, and now he had the chance, or the excuse, to get to know some of his old school friends. This certainly gave him the opportunity to get to know Ron and Hermione again, at the very least. So he had agreed to Dumbeldore's request and said that after the break he would join the ranks of the tenth-year Gryffindor's, back at Hogwarts.

"I need all the luck I can get," Harry admitted with a small wince. "I can tell you, I'm not at all looking forward to having to take McGonagall's class again."

Remus stifled a laugh with a hand and then opened the door with the other. "I don't envy you Harry," then his face grew serious again. "Seriously though, Harry, good luck," he said. Then he gave Harry a quick wave goodnight and closed the door behind him.

Harry listened as Remus' footsteps followed the hall and returned downstairs. Then he picked up the cup of hot chocolate Remus had brought him and allowed himself a private laugh. Imagine, going back to Hogwarts. Well, no matter what he decided to do about Voldemort, things certainly were about to get interesting.

XXX

Packing for Hogwarts, had not been unlike the process that Harry had become accustomed to at the Burrow. Bran and even James and Lily had scrambled about the house until the last second, gathering up their things. Only Mare and Harry had been ready to leave when the time came, but somehow they managed to make it to the castle in time. Though, Harry thought this had to be credited to the carriage that Dumbledore had sent down to collect them all.

The carriage had barely pulled in front of the castle before Harry found himself being ordered up to Dumbledore's office by a sour faced Mr. Filch. So, parting from his parents, with the promise to see them at dinner, and leaving his belongings in the very capable hands of the house elves, he made his way to see the Headmaster.

Really, it was his first time in the castle since he had come to this world, so he took his time in the ancient corridors. Before, when he had woken up in the Hospital Wing, he had only been allowed beyond Poppy's eyesight when his parents had come to collect him and bring him to their house in Hogsmeade. Of course, this had only allowed him to see a few flights of stairs and the entrance hall, and at the time he had been paying more attention to his parents, than to his surroundings.

For some reason Harry had not expected Hogwarts to be any different from the place he had known so well in his world, and he was not disappointed. Not a single suit of armor or portrait was out of place, as far as he could tell. Everything looked exactly the same, and it would have been exactly the same if it hadn't been for the general feel of the place that Harry got. This Hogwarts lacked a certain warming comfort that Harry had learned to grow accustomed to in his own Hogwarts and he found that the difference was more startling than anything else he could have expected. This Hogwarts just felt like a big, old building, not like the magic soaked environment he knew it was.

Still, disappointment aside, Harry was glad to be back. No home could ever compare to Hogwarts. Just being back was enough to erase all the long days of worrying about Voldemort, Harry had been doing. Finally, he felt like he was at home.

The gargoyle was just as stubborn as Harry remembered it to be, but Harry tried a few guesses at the password on it anyways, before he unraveled the note that Mr. Filch had given him downstairs.

"Treacle Tart," Harry told the gargoyle as he read the password off the parchment and waited for the moving staircase to appear.

When he had traveled up into the tower, Harry paused for a moment outside of Dumbledore's door to compose himself, and then he knocked.

"Come in Harry," Dumbledore's comforting voice said.

Harry stepped into the door into the once familiar office. It was like stepping back in time. Everything seemed just as he remembered it to be. There were the old headmaster's on the wall, sleeping in their frames (minus Dumbledore's of course), there was Dumbeldore's pensive, Fawke's (now empty) perch, and all of his whizzing instruments. There were even a few instruments that Harry himself had destroyed in his own world several years ago, and which had been missing from Dumbeldore's office ever since Sirius had died.

It was certainly a heartwarming change to what Harry had seen it as after Dumbledore's death. Soon after it had been occupied by Headmistress Minerva McGonagall, who had been reluctant to change much, but had put away a good deal of Dumbledore's things in any case. Then after the school had been forced to close Harry had taken up residence in the office, and had turned it into a central office for everything he had been involved in at the time. Then, just before Harry had left, he had seen it back in the hands of McGonagall, empty of almost everything Dumbledore, redone and made completely for the returning Headmistress. It involved a great deal of tartan, many organized in and out boxes, transfiguration models, and for a reason that Harry didn't dare ask, a small cage of little white mice.

"I'm glad you could make it Harry, I hope you don't mind if we cut a bit into the feast." Dumbledore said, motioning for Harry to take a seat in one of the chairs in front of his desk. Harry did so, feeling a slight twinge of delightful déjà vu. "If this takes too long I can send for a house elf to bring us some snacks."

"I don't mind at all Headmaster," Harry said politely. He wasn't sure what this meeting was about, though he did have a general idea. Dumbledore still did not know much about Harry himself, and the pair of them had not had much interaction with one another. Knowing Dumbledore, Harry was sure that he would not be able to allow Harry into his school without knowing a bit more about him. Besides, Harry was sure Dumbledore knew more than he was letting on, he generally did.

"Good," Dumbledore said pleasantly, and then relaxed back in his chair. "I wanted to have the opportunity to go over a few things with you before you had to tackle the difficulties of assimilating as a student again." He smiled at Harry and then placed the gold-rimmed spectacles on his face so he could read a note on his desk.

"I have here the responses of my staff on whether or not you will be accepted into classes."

Harry hesitated, he wasn't going to be accepted? "Sir?" he asked, puzzled.

"Well, many of the teachers were reluctant to admit you without having any general knowledge base of your skills, but I was able to convince them to allow you in on the grounds of trial-and-error. I'm not sure how whether you will find yourself ahead or behind of your peers, but for the purpose of staying with your year I've enrolled you in the general N.E.W.T. level courses." He looked down at the paper on his desk again and read off the list. "N.E.W.T. Potions, Transfiguration, Defense Against the Dark Arts, and Charms. You will also have the option of deciding on two other electives, which I will expect you to report to your head of house by no later than the beginning of next week."

"Yes, sir," Harry agreed when Dumbledore looked up. He couldn't help feeling a little superior though. N.E.W.T.'s were being held in the tenth year, not the seventh, here. True, he had not taken N.E.W.T. classes in his world, but he had passed the N.E.W.T. test with good marks across the board.

"Lily took the initiative to write to Flourish and Blotts about your texts, and I believe that you will find all of your required books in your dormitory when you arrive tonight," Dumbeldore continued. "You will be staying with the Gryffindor tenth-year boys, and your head of house is, of course, Professor McGonagall. She will make sure that you will receive your class schedule at breakfast tomorrow morning. Now," Dumbledore settled back again, and removed his glasses. "You are joining us in the middle of the year, under the disguise of a transfer student, both very unusual circumstances so don't be surprised if people are unusually interested in you."

Harry resisted a laugh, and made a slight choking noise instead. "Not a problem sir," he answered, completely seriously. Having people unusually interested in him was hardly anything out of the ordinary for Harry Potter.

"If you have any problems dealing with your story, come to me." Harry nodded to Dumbledore. "If you have any problems dealing with the curriculum address your head of house, though," here Dumbledore gave Harry a gentle smile. "I'm quite sure that either one of your parents would be more than happy to help you out if it should come to that. If we need to make adjustments with your classes, we will. If you prove that you understand the material adequately then I have no problem in making sure that you are able to stand the N.E.W.T. tests with the rest of your peers and graduating at the end of the year."

"Thank you, sir," Harry said, really impressed. He really hadn't expected that, more or less, he had thought the whole thing would just be a charade. Graduation was more than he could have hoped for. Though he had stood the N.E.W.T.'s in his world, and received a wizarding license (though he wasn't sure he had obtained it entirely legally), he had not been allowed to be a graduate of Hogwarts. No one in the Ministry had been about to deny Harry Potter, their 'Chosen One' the right to carry a wand, especially if their lives depended on it, but they had refused him the right to group himself with the rest of Hogwarts alumni since he had officially left the school after his sixth year. It was a trivial thing, but it stung none, the less.

"But, your education aside, Harry," Dumbledore continued, more seriously now that business was done. "I want to talk to you about some other matters."

"What is that, sir?" Harry asked.

Dumbledore folded his hands in his lap gently. "I understand that you have been favoring solitude over the past few days."

So there it was. "Yes, it was rather silly of me, I expect, but for some reason I had been hoping that Voldemort would not be alive here." Harry looked down at his lap, he was going to have to play this one out right. Dumbledore was not a stupid man, and he knew when he was being lied to. Luckily enough, Harry had practiced with the best of the best. He might not be a fantastic occulmens, but he did know something of the game.

"Ah," Dumbledore said. "You thought that maybe he would not exist here did you?"

"Well," Harry looked up, feigning meekness. "I had hoped for a better world; my parents were alive, old friends… I suppose it was too much to expect that he would not be here."

"Voldemort is a terrible man, Harry," Dumbledore said understandingly. "However, we must remember that he is only a man."

Despite himself, the corners of Harry's lips twitched. That sounded so familiar to him; it was refreshing to hear Dumbledore say it. "Yes, sir," he said instead, trying to maintain his solemn expression. "I don't know why I thought otherwise; I guess I thought that the reason everyone here was alive was because Voldemort did not exist."

"Yes, but think Harry, just because they are alive doesn't mean that others have slipped through his grip. There have been a great many who have suffered in this world, a great many; you must not forget about them."

"I know," Harry said softly, and he did. He had given those people a great deal of thought. In fact, he knew, more so than anyone, the things that Voldemort could do. "I will not forget about them, sir."

"Good," Dumbledore said. "See that you don't. I've noticed something about you Harry, and I'd like to ask you a very important question."

Harry looked up into Dumbledore's sharp eyes. Perhaps he had managed to trick him a bit, but Dumbledore was not entirely fooled by Harry. The old Headmaster knew Harry knew something, just as Harry knew that Dumbeldore knew something. It was a mind game Harry had been absent in Harry's life for years, strangely, he discovered then that he had missed it. Besides, he wouldn't put it past Sirius, Remus, James or Lily to report back to Dumbledore on his actions and behavior over the time they had known him.

"Did you have any involvement in the war in your world Harry?" Dumbledore asked. "Any unusual ties to myself or to Hogwarts?"

It took a great deal of effort on Harry's behalf, but he forced his face and mind to remain blank. Dumbledore wouldn't probe his mind with legilimacy, but the old man could read falsehoods from a person's face with more accuracy than mind reading with magic.

"Only that of very old, very close friends, sir," Harry admitted. "Since my parents had been closely involved with the war at the time of their death, I think you took an interest in me and my case. You made the decision to send me to my aunt and uncle's and when I came to Hogwarts you were one of the few who had an interest in my general well being. Other than that, sir," Harry finished up. "Our relationship was no more than the usual Headmaster-student relationship."

For a moment Dumbledore was silent, then he nodded heavily. "Very good then, Harry. I think if you hurry, you can still catch the end of the feast," he added. "I don't think I will be joining you, however, I have some reports I must catch up on."

Harry nodded, slightly relieved to be dismissed, Dumbeldore was a very tricky man. "Yes, sir," he said and stood up.

"Oh, and Harry," Dumbledore called as Harry moved to leave the room. "If you should think of anything else that you would like to tell me, please don't hesitate to seek me out."

"Yes, sir," Harry whispered, trying very hard not to feel ashamed of himself. He needed to remember the big picture. He was here to be normal; of course he could help, but no one needed to know that, at least not yet; he could at least be normal for a few months before anyone started looking at him strangely. "Goodnight, sir."

"Goodnight, Harry," the Headmaster called after him, but Harry had already disappeared behind the door and was already climbing down the moving staircase back to the main body of the castle.