"Miss O'Brien, I have your test results and I'm sorry to tell you this, but you're positive for HIV." the doctor said quietly as Marty and Roger both broke down.
"But she was negative 2 and a half months ago." Roger asked crying as he held Marty in his arms.
"Well the virus sometimes takes time to make it's way into the system making it detectable with blood tests. That's why we asked her to continue taking the AZT and come back to get tested again. But we caught it early and as long as she stays on her medication, she should be healthy for a long time. Your viral load is low and your t-cell count is high, which is good." he told her optimistically.
"OK. Roger it's not the end of the world. You know that better than anyone. Everything is gonna be fine. I love you." she told him through her tears.
"I know. I love you too Marty. We'll get through this together. I promise." he told her kissing her head.
"I know we will." she said as the doctor gave her another prescription for AZT and they left the doctor.
"How'd it go guys?" Collins asked jumping up to see how Marty was seeing her and Roger had been crying.
"I'm positive. But it's OK. We're gonna get through this. It's not the end of the world. You guys are living proof of that, right." she said starting to cry again as Roger held her and Mark lowered his camera.
"I'm so sorry Marty." he said beginning to put his camera down.
"No, Mark you keep filming. This should be part of your documentary." she said turning to him.
"Are you sure?" Mark said still holding the camera.
"Yes. You wanted to do a documentary on love and people with HIV. This is what your documentary is about." she told him through her tears.
"Are you sure Baby? I'm sure Mark could get footage somewhere else." Roger asked looking down at her.
"No, this is more personal. He needs to film this Roger. The world needs to see this." she insisted holding his face.
"OK Baby. OK. Mark you heard my girl. Start filming again." Roger told him smiling through his tears.
"Are you OK Baby girl?" Collins asked hugging her.
"Yeah, I'm fine. Really. Why don't we go to the Life Cafe tonight? We'll call Maureen and Joanne and we'll celebrate life." Marty said wiping her eyes as she smiled at them.
"Baby, maybe we should stay in tonight." Roger suggested quietly.
"No Roger. I want to go out and be around as many people who love me as possible. Pleas. Don't baby me. I'm just gonna go lay down for a little while. Collins, can you call Maureen and Joanne please?" Marty said as she dragged Roger into her room, which was filled with picutres of everyone that Mark gave her.
"No problem Baby girl." Collins answered quietly as the door closed.
"Are you OK Baby?" Roer asked his face still wet with tears.
"I will be. I just need to..." she started before crying again and beginning to fall to the floor as Roger caught her. "Oh Roger, how could this happen to me. I always practice safe sex, I'm not an intravenis drug user and I'm nto promiscuous. How? Why?" she asked breaking down in Roger's arms.
"I don't know Baby. I don't know. I'm so sorry." he told her crying with her as he held her tight.
"It's not your fault Roger. You didn't do this to me. That guy in the alley did. I just can't believe I'm HIV positive." she told him grabbing his shirt.
"You're gonna be OK Baby. I promise. We'll take care of you just like we always have." he said as tears fell freely from his big green eyes.
"I know. I'm sorry. I just needed to get that out. I'll be OK." she said looking up at him as she wiped her eyes.
"Baby, you're allowed to have a breakdown. Do you wanna lay down with me for a little while?" he asked smiling down at her as she wiped his tears and he wiped hers.
"Yeah I do. I need to lay with you." she said as he picked her up off of the floor and put her in bed before laying next to her wrapping himself around her protectively.
"I'm sorry I couldn't protect you from this." he whispered as she turned to look at him.
"It's OK Roger. You have protected me from everything else. This was just beyone your control." she told him bringing him closer to her.
"I can't believe she's postive man. No one deserves that. Especially not her. She never hurt anybody." Collins said quietly hanging up the phone.
"Yeah well she seems determined to live her life with Roger. She's the strongest person I know. If anyone could get through this it's her." Mark said quietly gathering up film.
"I know. I just hope she broke down. I wouldn't want her to be in denial. That's never a good thing." Collins said leaning up as his eyes filled with tears.
"Are you OK Collins?" Mark asked looking over at him.
"Does it ever end man? When are the people we love gonna stop getting this." he said crying quietly in his hands.
"I don't know. I just don't know. It's senseless." Mark said putting his arms around the larger man to comfort him.
"Yeah it is. I mean with everything she's been through already. The rape, the nightmares and now this. I hoped her and Roger would have their happy ending." Collins said as Roger came out of the bedroom.
"What's going on out here?" he asked looking over at a crying Collins.
"How's our girl?" Collins asked wiping his eyes.
"She had a little meltdown, but other than that she's a rock. You know her." Roger said with a weak smile.
"Good. I don't want her to pull a you." Collins said laughing a bit.
"Yeah I was pretty deep in denial, wasn't I?" Roger said sitting down next to Collins.
"Yeah you were. But you came around." Collins said as tears filled his eyes again.
"Are you OK?" Roger asked looking up at him.
"Yeah, I just can't believer she's positive. She doesn't deserve this." Collins said crying again.
"None of you do." Mark said quietly looking down as he began to cry.
"You two better get over this now. I don't want anyone breaking down in front of Marty." Roger said pointing at them.
"No problem Roger. How are you holding up?" Mark asked wiping his eyes.
"Like shit. My girl has HIV. She could have gotten it from me. I mean, we took precautions every time we slept together, but you never know." Roger said breaking down.
"Rog, you did not give it to her. You're careful. You can't think that way." Collins said putting his arms around him to comfort him.
"I love her man. I love her so much I want to marry her, but I could have hurt her." Roger told him burying his face in Collins chest to muffle his cries.
"You did not hurt me Roger." Marty said quietly from the bedroom doorway as tears fell from her eyes.
"Oh Baby. I'm sorry. I didn't want you to see me like this." he said wiping his eyes before going to her.
"You didn't hurt me Roger. That guy in the alley did. You have done nothing but protect me. Every time you and I made love, you took such good care of me. You love me and ech time we make love, you showed me that. I f you want to be pissed of at the guy who hurt me, be pissed off. Cry, break something, throw things, punch a pillow. Honey it's OK. But I'm gonna tell all of you right now, once we leave this loft tonight, no more tears. I'm serious. So everyone better call Maureen and Joanne and tell them they better get it out before we meet them at the Life Cafe. I want to celebrate life from now on. Do more writing, Roger I want to see you on stage performing, Mark I want to help you film your documentary and Collins I want you to cause as much anarchy as your body lets you. Our lives are being shortened enough by this. I don't want to waste any time crying for when I'm gone. What's that you're always saying Collins? No day but today? I like that. I love you guys so much. Mark and Collins, you guys are my protective big brothers and Roger, my love. I don't know what I would do without you.You are the love of my life. I want to enjoy my life with you guys." she said lecturing them wiping her eyes.
"OK Baby. We'll do things your way. You want us to stop crying? Done. You want to see me on stage performing? Done Baby. We're gonna do everything you wanna do. We're gonna have fun. No regrets." Roger said holding her close as he kissed her head.
"I'm serious Roger. You go in your room and take it out on your bed and pillows before we leave this house. I don't want you looking at me and crying later." she told him pointing at him.
"OK Baby. I love you. I'll do anything for you." he said taking her in his arms again.
"You are one tough Baby girl." Collins said getting up to hug her.
"That goes for you two. I'm not gonna have my mortality put in my face everytime I look at you guys. Treat me like you always did. And I'm serious someone better call Maureen and Joanne and relay my message. But right now, I want to talk to my boyfriend." Marty said dragging Roger to his room.
"Yes ma'am. Now that's my girl." Collins said laughing going to the phone.
"Didn't you yell at me enough outside?" Roger asked as Marty leaned up to kiss him.
"No. I was serious Roger. I want you to get this out. Punch your pillows. Throw something." she said pointing at his bed.
"I don't want to punch my pillows." he said looking down at her.
"Roger, you have to let this out. You're gonna have a breakdown one of these days if you don't get it out now." she told him holding his face.
"Marty, I love you so much. I don't want to lose you." he told her taking her hand and leading her to the bed and picking up the picture Mark gave him of the two of them sleeping on the couch together.
"Well it's a little late for that Roger. All that matters now is how we spend the time we do have together." she said smiling at him.
"Do you remember when this picture was taken?" he asked looking at the picture.
"Of course I do. We were up all night talking and we fell asleep just after 5 in the morning. My bruises had just healed and you were playing with my hair for two hours. We slept until noon and Mark had been filming us for hours." she said laughing.
"I want to move into your room." he said caressing her cheek.
"You want to move into my room?" she repeated looking at him.
"Yeah I do. I want to live with you. I don't want to have seperate bedrooms anymore." he said smiling at her.
"But Roger we've been living together for 3 months and sleeping in the same bed almost that whole time." she said smiling at him.
"Yeah but we've always had your room and my room. I want to have a room taht's ours. Does that make any sense." he asked holding her face in his hands.
It makes perfect sense. I would love to have you officially move into my room." she said kissinghim.
"Good. I love you Marty." he said holding her.
"I love you too Roger." she said holding him tighter. "So are you good now? Do you need to throw anything?" she asked looking up at him.
"Yeah, I'm good. Let's get ready to go out and celebrate life." he said kissing her.
"Well I was hoping to make love in your bed again one last time whole it's still yours." she whispered kissing his neck.
"OK, you twisted my arm." he said laying her down on the bed to make love with her.