"Roger, I'm not wearing that frilly thing my mother calls a wedding dress." Marty said yelling at Roger as she came out of the bedroom.
"But Baby, it was hers and it means a lot for you to wear it." he said chasing after her.
"Good, you can wear it. I'm not. I want my own dress." she said as Collins and Mark sat uncomfortably on the couch.
"Baby, I understand that, but it's the only thing she wants." he said sitting on the arm chair.
"The only thing she wants? She wants some pimple face band to sing our song, Roger. The one you wrote for me. I wanted the DJ to play you singing it on a cd. And then she wanted Maureen and Joanne to wear those ugly mint green dresses. And your mom, Roger. She doesn't want your mom wearing royal blue because she might wear it. When we all know she's gonna be wearing peach. I mean really. You are so letting my mother get away with way too much. It's our wedding Roger. Not hers." Marty ranted as Roger said back and listened to her.
"Are you done?" he asked calmly as Collins and Mark prepared to hit the deck.
"Yes, I'm done." she said standing with her hands on her hips.
"If it's our wedding, tell her what you want and I'll back you up." he said smiling at her.
"Why does she listen to you more than she listens to me?" Marty asked burying her face in her hands.
"Because you're her only child and she is not gonna get the chance to do this again." he said getting up to hold her.
"But Roger she's making me nuts. This is our wedding. It's supposed to be the happiest day of our lives and she is ruining it." she said holding on to him as she laid her head on his chest.
"So do you want to elope? Your dad said he'd leave the ladder out." Roger said smiling down at her.
"We don't need a ladder. We live together. If we want to elope we can just do it and no one would ever know." she said laughing at him.
"So do you want to do that?" he asked caressing her head.
"No, I want our parents to see us get married. I'm just not doing it in that dress." she said looking up at him.
"Well then you are not wearing that dress." he said kissing her head.
"You let me get going about her so you can swoop in and be the hero, don't you?" she asked laughing at him.
"No, being your hero is my job." he said as he, Collins and Mark laughed too.
"Yes it is." she said leaning up to kiss him.
"I love you Marty." he said smiling at her.
"I love you too. But this weekend, you better bring enough money for bail because I'm gonna kill her if she insists I wear that damn dress." she said looking up at him.
"We'll do. I have Joanne on speed dial." he said laughing as he held her close.
"Good because I'm gonna need a good lawyer." she said laughing as she buried her face in his chest. "Uh Roger, why is it so hard for me to just marry the man I love?" she asked with her face still buried in his chest.
"Because your mother lives to make your life diffiult." he said kissing her head.
"I need to lay down. I'm getting a migraine." she said looking up at him smiling.
"Do you want company?" he asked flashing her a smile.
"Yes, I do." she said kissing him. "Sorry for the wedding meltdown guys. Carry on." she said dragging Roger to their room.
"I hate when they do that. It's more like foreplay than an actual fight." Mark said going back to playing with his camera.
"Tell me about it. They are so made for each other." Collins said laughing.
"Lucky for them." Mark said smiling at the closed door.
"Where's Marty?" Maureen asked storming into the loft.
"Laying down with Roger. Her mother called earlier and they were going at it." Mark told her as Collins laughed.
"And now they're going at it." he said rolling on the couch.
"That's gross. I hate when they fight. It's more like foreplay." she said with a disgusted look on her face.
"Thank you. I'm glad it's not just me." Mark said pointing at her.
"I'm not wearing that hideous excuse for a brides maids dress her mother picked out. I'll go naked first." Maureen said standing with her hands on her hips.
"Trust me. If Marty has to tie her mother up and stuff her in the attic, you and Joanne are not wearing those mint green things her mother picked out." Collins said regaining his composure.
"I don't know what was wrong with the dresses we picked out last month. They were really pretty." she said sitting in the chair.
"Well when they're done getting rid of Marty's migraine you can discuss it with her." Mark said going back to his camera.
"Fine, but I'm telling you now, I'll kidnap them and they'll elope if Marty's mother keeps pushing those dresses." Maureen said shaking her leg in frustration.
"Roger already offered. She wants to get married in front of their parents." Collins said drinking his stoli.
"Whatever." she said as Roger and Marty emerged from their room laughing.
"Done already? You weren't even in there 10 minutes." Collins said looking at his watch.
"We heard Maureen and you know that's always a downer for me." Roger said as Maureen flipped him off.
"What's the matter Maureen?" Marty asked sitting on the coffee table.
"I'm not wearing that green thing your mom calls a brides maids dress." she said monotone.
"No you're not. You're wearing the baby pink one we picked out for you last month. If my mom doesn't like it, she can wear the green thing. Don't worry. We'll take care of it." Marty said smiling at her leaning over to hug her.
"OK. Because I'll kidnap you two and you can elope. Play with me. I have my ways." she said smiling at her.
"Don't worry sweetie, it won't come down to that." Marty told her smiling. "But thank you for thinking of it." she said holding her hands.
"Because this day is about you two and your love for each other. Not about your mom's bad taste." Maureen said smiling at her.
"You're absolutely right Maureen. Roger will take care of it. Right Honey?" she said turning to him.
"Absolutely. Anything for my girl." he said smilng at her.
"Good. See. All fixed." Marty said smiling at her.
"Thank you Marty." Maureen said hugging her again.
"Now who else but me could use a drink?" Roger said getting his jacket on.
"I'm in. Are you guys coming with?" Marty said smilng at them as she got up to get her jacket on.
"Yeah, we're in." Collins said jumping up as Mark and Maureen followed suit.
"Mark, I hope you didn't get my wedding meltdown on film. I don't want that in the documentary. It makes me look like crazy bitch from hell." Marty said standing beside Roger.
"No, I didn't. I don't film your fights. It always ends the same. With you two disappearing into the bedroom for your make up sex." Mark said laughing.
"Make up sex? The fight is our foreplay." Roger said as Marty buried her face in his chest to hide that she was laughing.
"I told you." Mark yelled laughing.
"We heard you before. Roger, would you stop messing with him please. He is holding our rings. He could screw with you just like you screw with him." Marty said hitting Roger's chest.
"You guys are evil. I like it." Collins said laughing as he put his coat on.
"Like you always say Collins. We're made for each other." Roger said laughing.
"Do you guys always eavesdrop on us?" Mark asked smiling at them.
"No, just this was the first time." Marty told him laughing.
"You guys are demented." Mark said as he put his coat on.
"Come on Marky, I want to get you drunk." Marty said taking his hand and dragging him out of the loft.
"Gee thanks. Who's gonna film?" he asked smiling at her.
"No one. We'll take a night off from the documentary." she said holding his hand as Roger held her in his arms.
"Are you sure?" he asked resisting leaving without his camera.
"I'm positive Mark. Just us. The world's not allowed to come." she said flashing him a smile.
"OK." he said smiling at them as they left.
"But you have to drink tequila Mark." she insisted as they walked to the Life Cafe.
"Deal." he said laughing knowing he would regret it in the morning, but he wanted to hang out with his friends and just live.
"OK. Here's the deal. You lick your hand between your thumb and your forefinger and then put some salt on it. Then you lick the salt and take the shot and then suck on the lime. Like this." Marty said showing Mark what to do.
"Marty, I've seen you guys do it enough. I think I know by now." he said laughing.
"I know, I just thought it might help if I was one a head of you. Maybe you wouldn't have such a hard time keeping up." Marty said laughing as she threw her head back and everyone laughed along.
"Very funny." he said laughing as he took the shot.
"Go Marky." Maureen said cheering him on.
"OK, I want to propose a toast to my mom. She may be a crazy bitch with no fashion sense, but her hearts in the right place by wanting to give me the perfect wedding to celebrate mine and Roger's love for each other." Marty said holding her shot up to toast.
"Amen." Maureen said as everyone laughed.
"Who doesn't know how close she is to dying if she don't get off Babygirl's back." Collins said laughing.
"You're not kidding. I'm seriously gonna kill her if she doesn't just let me do what I want to do." Marty said laughing.
"Don't worry Babygirl. You'll have the perfect wedding no matter what." Collins told her smiling at her.
"As long as I'm still marrying Roger it will be the perfect wedding. As long as I don't have to wear that dress." she said smiling up at Roger.
"You said it Baby." he said smiling as he kissed her head.
"Now let's get drunk." she said smiling at Mark.
"Amen." Collins said laughing.