Mac was the first to speak. "Where are we going?"

"Somewhere quiet."

"That's going to be difficult on New Years Eve."

"We'll manage," Harm replied, looking Mac in the eye for the first time since they left the pub. He simply smiled.

Mac took a deep breath, plowing on as she always did, right into the heart of the matter. "I suppose we do need some place quiet. We have a lot to talk about."

"There isn't all that much to talk about, not really."

Mac frowned. "What do you mean?"

"We've said most of the things we need to say already, haven't we?"

Mac stopped, and faced him. "Not the half of it."

Harm sighed. "Mac, I'm not interested in having "The Discussion".

Mac's eyes flashed with frustration and incredulity. "You're tabling it again?"

"Yes."

She pulled her hand away. "For how long?"

"Forever."

Before he could say anything further, Mac paced away two strides, and then turned back and came toe to toe with him. "I don't believe this." Was all she could get out.

"Mac, we've said the important things. Or at least, we've sung them." He waited until she raised her eyes before he continued. "What good is a big long discussion going to do, when we've already said I love you and I'm sorry? I don't know about you, but I'm not interested in pulling out the score card and playing a game of 'You hurt me here, I hurt you there'. What's done is done, Mac."

After a long contemplative pause, she gave him a small apologetic smile. "I can live with that."

Harm smiled and offered his hand. When she accepted it, they began to walk again. They walked in silence for a while, until they found themselves in a park by the shore of a small lake. There they sat on a park bench, and watched leaves floating in circular patterns over the water.

"Mac?"

"Hmm?"

"What did you want to be when you grew up?"

She gave a derisive snort. "Something better than this."

Harm's head popped up and regarded her with surprise. "I thought you loved working at JAG."

"I do. That's not what I'm talking about. I love JAG, but JAG isn't what I am. It…it doesn't define me."

"Not like me," He replied quietly.

"No, not like you," She agreed. "When I was a kid, I didn't have a whole lot of time to think about what I wanted to be. I just wanted to get out of there. But sometimes it was quiet enough in the house that I had time to dream. I pictured myself being someone who helped other people, who smiled all the time, who was…happy."

"And you don't think you've achieved that?"

Mac's voice rose. "Look at me Harm? I've become someone who is huddled in a corner observing her own life. I can't even be honest about what's going on in my own heart." She stopped and shook her head. "This isn't what I wanted to be." Her eyes glowed with determination. "I'm better than this."

Harm squeezed her hand in sympathetic encouragement, but offered no words.

"What about you?" She asked.

Harm gave a laugh. "Oh yeah, I am what I've always wanted to be aren't I? Not quite a pilot, not quite a lawyer, not quite a father…" He stopped and looked her in the eye, his voice dropping in regret. "Not a husband. Mac, it's safe to say that I have never fully accomplished anything that I wanted out of my life."

She looked at him incredulous. "How can you say that? You've always been such a…hero."

He smirked at her. "Funny, I was thinking the same thing about you." He turned to face her. "I'm forty years old. And it's been a long time coming, but I'm finally learning that my outward accomplishments don't count for squat if I have to come home to an empty apartment. My career has always defined me, and I've been half a man because of it. You're not the only one sitting back and observing your own life. I know I'm better than this." Mac nodded, contemplating.

They lapsed into an easy silence as they watched the interplay of the leaves, fighting against the breeze on top of the water. Inevitably the leaves would lose the fight, and go where destiny took them. Even if it was in circles, and they ended up back where they started, they still had no say in their direction. It was a fitting display for a moment like this. When clarity had come swiftly, and they realized that fighting against destiny was a futile and exhausting exercise. It was time to surrender. That much was crystal clear.

TBC...