"Mom, Mom, are you OK?" RJ asked knocking on Marty's bedroom door hearing her cry.
"Yeah, I'm fine." she said quickly sitting up and wiping her eyes.
"Mom, it's OK if you're not you know." he told her entering the bedroom. It was decorated with 20 years worth of pictures of Marty and Roger and the gang. Many of them had RJ in them.
"I just miss him so much, you know?" she said looking up at her son, who looked exactly like his father.
"I know mom. I know." the 14 year old told her sitting next to her on the bed putting his arms around her.
"You know, your dad spend many nights in here with me just holding me in his arms to comfort me." she said beginning to cry into her sons chest.
"I know mom. You and dad loved each other a lot." he told her kissing the top of her head.
"It just hits me sometimes that he's not just at work or at the club, you know?" she said as RJ played with her hair.
"I know mom, me too." he said trying not to cry.
"Is everything OK in here?" Julia asked standing in the doorway of Marty's room.
"Yeah, she'll be OK." he told her as she entered the bedroom.
"Oh Marty honey. Come here." she said taking her from RJ. "Go get ready for school Roger." she said smiling up at him.
"OK Aunt Julia." he said going into his room.
"I miss him so much Julia. I don't know how to live with out him." she cried into her friends shoulder.
"I know sweetie. It's only been 2 weeks. It's OK. Did you sleep at all last night?" she asked looking looking down at her.
"Maybe a little. I don't know." she sniffled trying to sit up.
"Honey, you have to get some sleep. You're not doing RJ any good like this. Roger would want you to take care of yourself so you can take care of him." she said sweeping Marty's hair out of her face.
"I know. But I was with Roger for 20 years. I don't know how to breathe without him here." she said starting to cry again.
"I'm gonna make you some breakfast and some decaf tea. You need to eat something and get some sleep." Julia said getting up as Marty followed. "Where are you going?" she asked seeing her get up.
"I have to get RJ ready for school." Marty said wiping her eyes.
"No, you're not. I'll take care of him. You lay down and take care of yourself right now." she told her putting her back in bed before leaving the room.
"How is she?" Mark asked sitting at the metal counter.
"The same. She doesn't know how to go on with out Roger. I'm gonna make her breakfast and give her some decaf tea. Do we have any camomile tea left?" she asked looking around in the cabinet.
"I think there are a couple of bags in there. Do you think she'll eat?" he asked looking up at her.
"I don't know. But she needs to get some sleep. She hasn't had a nights sleep since he died." she said frustrated because she couldn't find the tea.
"Maybe we should have her doctor prescribe something for her?" Mark asked as RJ came out of his room.
"I'm ready Aunt Julia." he said carrying the leather jacket Roger bought him and his book bag.
"Are you sure you're ready to go back to school, bud? I mean, you can stay home if you feel you need to." Mark told him as he put his bookbag on the couch.
"No, I'm OK. Dad wouldn't want me to miss so much school." he told him putting his coat on.
"Do you want me to walk with you?" Mark asked looking up at him.
"No, I'm OK. Just take care of mom, OK?" he said before leaving the loft.
"This is not easy on him either, you know? Seeing his father die that way and now seeing his mother try to kill herself to be with him." Julia said breaking down as Mark jumped up to hold her.
"Honey, she'll be OK, you know. It's only been 2 weeks. That's not that long when you consider that they've lived and breathed for each other for 20 years." he whispered comforting her.
"You know, losing Roger wasn't easy for any of us. And now it looks like before long we're gonna lose Marty too because she's heartbroken." she cried into his chest.
"I know. She's gonna need some time." he told her caressing her head.
"Well unfortunately Mark, she doesn't have that luxury." she said looking up at him.
"Honey, this is not easy for me either, you know? I've known Marty 20 years and that whole time she was so full of life and now that Collins is gone and Roger's gone, I have to take care of her. And I'm not doing such a great job. They were better at this stuff. They were the ones who were more hands on. I was the documentarian. I was the observer. I was here when Roger came through those doors with her in his arms and told me to clear off the couch so he had someplace to set her down. I was here when they came home after her diagnosis. I watched them drink at the Life Cafe to celebrate life on many nights. I was here when he was so worried about her because all she could do for 3 days was sleep and then when they got back from the doctor and found out it was because she was pregnant with RJ. I listened to him cry in the alley over what was happening to her and I listened to her cry in their room over having to leave RJ one day. She hasn't come out of her room since his funeral. She won't talk to me. She won't talk to anyone. She just wants to waste away in their room." he told her getting upset and frustrated.
"Mark, we have to do something." she said as he pulled away from her.
"What? What do we do?" he asked careful not to disturb Marty.
"I don't know Mark. But I'm not ready for that boy to lose another parent." she told him starting to make breakfast.
"Has she been taking her meds?" he asked looking over at her.
"I give them to her. Whether she really takes them or spits them out when I leave the room, I don't know Mark." she told him as he ran his fingers through his short hair.
"I wish Roger and Collins was here." he said before going into his room.
"Yeah, you and me both." Julia said quietly continuing to make Marty breakfast.