"Where are you off to so early?" RJ asked sitting at the table eating breakfast.
"I have a meeting at a publishing company about my book." she said putting her earrings in her ears.
"What? Mom, that's great. Why didn't you tell me?" the 15 year old asked getting up from his chair.
"I don't know. I don't want you to get your hopes up." she told him smiling up at him.
"You look great, by the way." he said smiling down at her.
"Thanks." she said leaning up to hug him.
"I'm really glad you finally submitted it. Dad would be really proud of you for finally doing it." he said smiling down at her.
"I know. I owe it all to him, you know?" she said looking up at him as Julia came out of the bedroom.
"Hey, where are you going all dressed up?" she asked going into the kitchen.
"She has a meeting at a publishing company." RJ told her excitedly.
"You submitted your book? When?" she asked looking up at them.
"About 3 months ago. They just called me last week about them publishing it." she said fluffing her hair.
"That's great honey. I am so proud of you." she said hugging her friend.
"Thanks. I gotta get going. I'll see you after school. I love you." she said leaning up to kiss RJ on the cheek.
"I love you too mom. Good luck." he said smiling at her.
"I love you Marty. Good luck." Julia said smiling at her as she left the loft. As she walked walked to the subway, she couldn't help but think about Roger. For the last 15 months since his death she had written more than she had in the last 20 years. She had promised herself she would start writing more after her HIV diagnosis, but between helping Mark with the documentaries, work, Roger, hanging out and then raising RJ, she had slacked off on it. About 2 weeks after Roger died, with Maureens help, she decided to pick herself up and honor her husbands memory. All of a sudden it hit her. What she had been wanting to write for the last 20 years. She wanted to write hers and Roger's love story. From the moment he found her in the alley until the moment he died. For almost a year, she couldn't stop writing. When she wasn't spending time with RJ and their friends, she was writing. It helped her get through her grief over losing Roger.
"Hi, I'm Margaret Davis. I'm here to see Mr. Spaulding." she told the receptionist as she entered the publishing company.
"One moment Mrs. Davis." she said picking up the phone to call her boss. "Mr. Spaulding will see you now." she said directing her to a door in the corner of the office.
"Hi Mrs. Davis, it's a pleasure to finally meet you." a gentleman about her age said standing up to shake her hand.
"It's very nice to meet you too. Thank you for meeting with me." she said before he directed her to sit down.
"I'm going to cut right to the chase. Your book is exactly what I want to put out." he told her sitting back in his chair.
"Really?" she asked sitting up in the chair.
"Yes. It's a beautiful modern love story. Where did you get the idea for it?" he asked playing with a slender silver pen.
"It's autobiographical. My husband died of AIDS a little over a year ago. He inspired me to write it." she told him looking down.
"I'm so sorry about your husband. I could tell how much you loved each other." he said sitting up to her.
"Thank you. It has been very difficult, but writing my book helped a lot." she said looking up with a faint smile.
"Well since it is a true story, I would like to add some pictures of you and your husband in the center of the book. As a tribute to your love for one another." he said smiling at her.
"I like that idea, but can I think about it. I don't know if I'm ready to share him in that way." she said shifting in her seat.
"Fair enough. Now, there's one more thing we need to know. We need a title." he asked sitting back in his chair.
"Rescue Me. I want it to be Rescue Me." she told him smiling as he smiled back at her. As she left the office she felt a wave of emotion wash over her. She managed to duck into a bathroom stall in the building before she broke down. She felt as if Roger was there with her. She cried harder than she had in over a year. Her heart began to ache. As she collected herself she left the bathroom and went home. As she entered the loft, she went straight into her room.
"Marty, how'd it go?" Julia asked as she opened the bedroom door. Marty was curled up on the bed crying. "Oh Marty, what happened honey?" she asked rushing over to the bed.
"They want to publish my book." Marty said without looking up.
"Oh honey, that's great. So what's wrong?" she asked rubbing her back.
"They want me to let him go." she told her crying harder.
"What do you mean?" she asked confused.
"They want to put pictures of him in the book. I don't now if I'm ready to share him like that yet." she told her wiping her eyes.
"I understand sweetie." she said laying down next to her to hold her.
"I'm not ready to let him go and if I share him like that it'll feel like he's not mine anymore. He'll be out there. I need to hold on to him." she said turning around to look at her friend.
"I know, but Marty this is his book. He belongs in it." Julia told her playing with her hair.
"I told them I'd think about it." she said wiping her eyes again.
"OK, so you think about it honey. But if you want my opinion, I say it's an excellent idea." she said smiling at her.
"I'll think about it." she said rolling over and looking at a picture of Roger on the night stand.