"Roger my love, what am I gonna do?" she asked holding the picture of her and Roger that Mark gave her when she first returned to work after the rape. "I don't know if I'm ready for the rest of the world to see you. Not now." she said beginning to cry.
"Mom, are you OK?" RJ asked opening the door to the bedroom hearing her cry.
"Come here. I wanna ask you something." she said wiping her eyes.
"I always loved that picture of you and dad. You guys looked so happy. Like you didn't have anything to worry about." he said sitting on the bed looking at the picture.
"This was taken before I was diagnosed. It was a few weeks after me and your dad met. We were just hanging out here and Uncle Collins was telling a story and of course you remember how funny he was, and we were just laughing. Nothing mattered back then. We were young and in love." she told him smiling down at the picture.
"You and dad had some great times, huh?" he asked looking down at her.
"Yeah we did. Every minute of time we had together was wonderful." she said starting to cry again.
"It's OK mom. He's looking down on you still protecting you." RJ said comforting his mother.
"He always did like protecting me." she said smiling at the memory of Roger's protective nature.
"I know mom." he told her as she wiped her eyes.
"I want to ask you something sweetie." she said looking up at him.
"What is it mom?" he asked as she sat up on the bed.
"The publishing company wants to publish my book." she started smiling up at him.
"Mom, that's great. Why are you upset then?" he asked excitedly.
"They want me to put pictures of me and dad in the middle." she told him as tears filled her eyes again.
"And you don't want to let go of him." he said quietly seeing her getting upset again.
"How can I? It's too soon. I'm not ready RJ." she said as tears fell from her eyes.
"Mom, you don't have to let him go if they put him in the middle of the book. It's his book too. I think you should do it." he said smiling down at her.
"RJ, you don't understand. I was with him for 20 years. He found me in a dark alley and took care of me until I could take care of myself. He gave me this beautiful bedroom and then I found out I was sick and he gave me the most amazing life to live. He asked me to marry him after his first stage performance in almost 5 years and gave me you. Our HIV negative miracle child. Sharing him with the world just doesn't feel right. Not now." she said getting up to walk around the bedroom.
"Mom, you have to eventually. I mean, you're doing it already with your book." RJ told her looking up at her.
"That's different." she told him tucking her hair behind her ear.
"How? I mean mom, dad wanted you to write this book, so it's only natural he would be in it." he said smiling up at her.
"And this book is dad. It's all him. He's the one who inspired me to write it and he's the reason I did it. But I don't know." she said as RJ got off of the bed.
"Mom, do it. Dad would want you to do it." he said putting his arm around her.
"Thanks kid. You are more and more like your dad and Uncle Collins every day." she said laughing as she hugged him.
"I'll take that as a compliment." he said smiling down at her.
"You should. They were good men." she said smiling up at him.
"Marty, are you OK?" Mark asked knocking on the door.
"Yeah, come on in Mark." she said smiling at him as he opened the door.
"Is everything OK?" he asked entering the room.
"Yeah, I'm being published and my son was just talking some sense into me." she told him smiling.
"That's great Marty. Roger would be so proud and excited." he said hugging her.
"I know. They want me to give them pictures of me and him to put in the book since the book is about us." she said looking up at him.
"And you don't want to let him go just yet?" Mark said looking at her.
"Exactly." she said pulling back.
"Oh sweetie, you do know how proud of you Roger is, right?" he said smiling at her.
"I know. I just wasn't sure I was ready to let him go like that. But you know my son. Forever his father's son." she said smiling up at RJ.
"Well dad made me promise to take care of you." he said smiling at her.
"I know sweetie." she said smiling at him.
"So you're gonna do it?" Mark asked looking down at her.
"Yeah, I am." she said smiling at RJ.
"Mom, you know dad would be so happy for you." he said hugging her.
"I know sweetie." she said smiling at him.
"Come on, I think this calls for an old fashioned celebration." Mark said smiling at Marty.
"Oh cool, the Life Cafe. I'm gonna get changed." RJ said rushing out of the room.
"I don't know if I'm up to it, Mark." Marty said looking up at him.
"Oh come on. This is big. You've been writing this book for 20 years. It's being published and we need to celebrate. For you and him." Mark said putting his arm around her.
"Thanks Mark. You didn't realize when you promised him you'd take care of me that it would be a full time job, did you?" she asked looking up at him.
"Don't worry sis. I don't mind." he said kissing her cheek and hugging her again.
"I mean it Mark. Thank you. I don't know what I would do without you. Literally." she said hugging him back.
"Well luckily you'll never have to find out." he said smiling at her before they left the room.