"I'm sorry Marty. They're lower." the doctor said looking at her sympathetically.
"How low?" she asked quietly wringing her hands.
"Too low. I'm very concerned." he told her looking at the chart.
"Is it full blown AIDS?" she asked as tears formed in her eyes.
"I'm afraid so." he said looking up at her.
"How long?" she asked looking up at him.
"3 months maybe. It's hard to tell." he told her quietly.
"OK, thank you." she said getting up to leave.
"Marty, you need to be admitted to the hospital." he said trying to stop her.
"Will I make it out of the hospital?" she asked turning to look at him as tears rolled down her face.
"Probably not. But it will give you extra time." he told her approaching her.
"Doctor, I've been positive for 21 years. I've made my peace. I just want to go home and spend the rest of the time I have with my family." she said looking at him.
"But Marty..." he started before she interrupted him.
"I don't want to die like Roger did. In a hospital bed. I want to die in the bed he and I shared surrounded by pictures of our life together." she told him wiping her eyes.
"OK fair enough. But let me give you medication so you're not gonna be in too much pain." he said returning to his desk to write a prescription.
"Thank you." she said waiting for the prescription before leaving.
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"So how did the doctor go?" Julia asked looking up from her paperwork.
"Fine. I'm gonna be in my room. I have work to do." she said without looking at her. She took out her laptop and just stared at the screen. The background was the picture of Roger on stage. She began to cry uncontrollably. This was it. She was dying. "Oh Baby, what am I gonna tell our son? He's gonna lose me within the next 3 months." she said staring at the picture. She rolled herself in a ball and cried into her pillow.
"Marty, are you OK?" Julia said knocking on the door hearing her cry.
"Yeah, Jules I'm fine." she said wiping her eyes.
"I'm coming in, OK?" she asked opening the door.
"I'm fine Julia." she said sitting up on the bed.
"What's the matter sweetie?" she asked sitting on the bed.
"Just thinking about Roger. I'm fine." she said folding her legs under her. She hated lying to her, but she really didn't want anyone to know what the doctor said. Not yet. She wanted to talk to Mark first.
"Oh OK. I thought something happened at the doctor." she said concerned.
"Where's Mark?" she asked wiping under her eyes.
"He went filming. He should be back soon. Do you want to do something today? RJ's going to Jackie's house after school." she asked trying to get her friend out of the loft.
"Maybe later. I feel like laying down now. When Mark comes back can you tell him I want to talk to him, please?" she asked turning off her laptop.
"Sure sweetie. Are you sure everything's OK?" she asked looking up at her.
"Yeah, just tell Mark to wake me up when he gets home." she said putting the laptop back in it's case and putting it under the bed.
"No problem." she said getting up before she left the room and Marty fell asleep. Julia knew Marty was hiding something from her but she didn't want to push. If she needed to talk to Mark, it was best to let her talk to Mark. Their bond was so strong and Julia was happy Marty had Mark to talk to. She had a tendency to keep things inside and it wasn't healthy for her. Especially when it came to Roger.
"Hi Baby." Mark said coming into the loft.
"Oh thank God. Marty just got back from the doctor and she won't tell me what happened. I think it's bad." she said beginning to cry.
"Is she in her room?" he asked putting his camera bag down.
"Yeah. Mark, she was crying when I went in there to check on her. She told me it was about Roger, but I know she's lying. She wants you to wake her up. She needs to talk to you." she said as Mark took her in his arms.
"I'll go talk to her." he said kissing her head before going to Marty's room. "Marty, are you up?" he asked knocking before going in.
"Hey Marky." she said sitting up in the bed.
"Is everything OK?" he asked closing the door before sitting on the edge of the bed.
"I'm low Marky." she told him quietly as tears rolled out of her eyes.
"How low?" he asked looking at her.
"Too low. I have AIDS." she as he looked at her in shock.
"How long?" he asked as tears formed in his own eyes.
"Maybe 3 months." she said starting to cry.
"Oh Marty, I'm so sorry." he said reaching out to hold her.
"How am I gonna tell RJ?" she asked burying her face in his chest.
"I'll help you." he said starting to cry.
"We just lost Roger. How do I tell my son he's gonna lose his mother before he's 16?" she asked crying harder into his chest.
"I don't know sweetie, but we'll do it together. As a family." he told her holding her tight. "When do you have to go to the hospital?" he asked looking down at her.
"I'm not going." she said as he pulled her back by her upper arms.
"What the hell do you mean, you're not going?" he asked looking at her.
"Mark, what good did it do Collins and Roger? I wanna be here in mine and Roger's bed with my family." she said looking up at him.
"What about the medication they can give you to make you comfortable." he asked getting up to walk around the room.
"He gave me a prescription to take here. Mark, I just wanna die with Roger with me. And this is where he is the most to me." she told him getting up to go to him.
"Marty, I just want you to be comfortable." he said looking down at her.
"I know Marky and I will be. I'll have you, Julia, Maureen, Joanne and my son with me. I just need to be here." she said looking up at him as he reached out for her.
"OK. So you'll be here." he said as they cried together.
"I lied to Julia earlier. I told her I was fine. I need to talk to her, but I wanted to talk to you first. I knew you would understand." she said looking up at him.
"She knew you were lying. Do you want me to tell her?" he asked looking down at her wiping her eyes for her.
"No, I should tell her. I owe it to her." she said trying to smile.
"OK, I'll get her." he said kissing her head.
"Marky." she said holding his arm tight.
"I know sweetie. I love you too." he said caressing her cheek before going into the living room.
"No. Mark shut up, no." Julia said taking one look at him.
"She wants you Baby." he said as she started crying.
"I don't want to hear it. We just lost Roger less than a year and a half ago. No." she said as Marty came out of her room.
"Jules." she said quietly as Julia looked up at her.
"Marty, no. Don't say it." she said pulling away from Mark to go to Marty.
"I'm sorry honey. I didn't mean to." she said as the women hugged.
"When?" she asked hugging her tight.
"Maybe 3 months." Marty answered crying into her friends shoulder.
"Oh my God Marty." she cried as Mark cried into his hands.
"I know Jules. I know." she said rubbing her back.
"We need to call Maureen and Joanne." Mark said wiping his eyes regaining his composure.
"Yeah, can you call them?" Marty said looking at him.
"Sure." he said going to the phone.
"When do you go to the hospital?" Julia asked looking at her wiping her eyes.
"I'm not going Jules. I have a prescription for the pain. I wanna die in mine and Roger's room." she said wiping her own eyes.
"OK sweetie. Whatever you think is best." she said caressing her cheek.
"Thank you. We need to tell RJ. And I need Joanne to update the papers Roger and I drew up years ago giving guardianship of RJ to you and Mark." she said looking over at Mark who was on the phone crying.
"OK. I can help you tell RJ." she said sweeping her hair behind her ears.
"Thanks." she said smiling at her. "Marky, are you OK?" she asked as Mark hung up the phone.
"Yeah, as OK as I can be after finding out my sister is gonna be dead in 3 months." he said crying again.
"I'm so sorry Marky." Marty said as she, Julia and Mark hugged.
"I was supposed to take care of you. I promised Collins and Roger and now you're dying too." he cried as Marty held his head to her shoulder.
"Marky, I've been positive for a long time. Every day was a gift with all of you." she said caressing his head.
"I know sis. I'm just not ready." he said crying harder.
"Me neither sweetie." she said as the three of them cried together.