Disclaimer: I own nothing. Seriously, I live in a box on the street. ... HAHAHA! YOU BELIEVED ME?? ... Actually, the only thing I don't own is Fullmetal Alchemist... or any other copyrighted things. So, yeah...

A/N: I think oil does smell to humans, but I don't really know for sure (like, 100). So just go with the flow, okay? Pretend it doesn't smell like anything to us in this story. Nada. No smell... okay? Good... person-who-will-read-this-and-review! Please? 3

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Taking in the scenery off of the old country road, Edward thought it was slightly ironic that the terrain around northern France reminded him of how Resembool had looked. Soft, rolling hills with flat grassy fields in a few empty spaces... it was wonderful, even some of the towns in this world resembled some of the towns in Amestris. A few farms were scattered every seventy or so miles, and throughout most of the ride, everything was peaceful, save for the humming of Officer Dorchet's radio.

Speaking of Dorchet... I still need to find out how he knew my name.

Edward snapped out of his semi-trance and looked towards the police officer, noting the serious expression on his face. So, this was the Dorchet from their world. There had been minor differences in the alternates they had found before Dorchet—Isabelle, Mabuse, and Officer Hughes. Isabelle... well, she had brunette hair, and the other two... Hughes was the only one who had shown anything opposite from the Hughes that was dead back home.

So, how do I know that this is the same Dorchet from Amestris?

And then, it dawned on him. The chimera was combined with a dog. He had a heightened sense of smell, and could run faster than the normal human. Smell... that could be used in the car. But what? He looked towards the front seat and saw a purse. He started to open his mouth when Isabelle noticed what he was doing and instead handed him her purse—she was sitting to the right of him, next to Al.

"But, why do you need a purse for?" she asked as Edward dug his hand into the middle part, groping for any type of sweet-smelling substance. He took a subtle whiff of the woman and knew his answer.

"That..." he lowed his voice to a whisper, "perfume you're wearing—is it in here? I was wondering what it was called. I might get it for someone I know... it smells good enough for her."

"Yes... but you're looking in the wrong pocket, and I barely have even a drop left," she giggled, taking the purse away from him and getting it out herself. She handed it to him and he put it up to his nose, smelling in the fragrance as best as he could. ...Needs something else so it'll smell bad to Dorchet. Even with this little left, he should be able to smell the reek coming from it.

The blonde bent over in his seat and took the small bottle of oil (for the car, because there weren't any gas stations around for miles) from Alphonse's hands as he slept. The oil gave off next to no smell at all to Ed or his companions, but he was sure once he had mixed in a tad of it with the perfume, it would provide a nasty enough aroma to cause the officer to vomit up his lunch... and possibly breakfast. That would be the sign that would truly expose the chimera for he was—or is, Edward thought.

He carefully opened the lid to the small bottle and poured a miniscule amount of oil into the perfume. Before sitting the bottle of oil next to him, he checked to make sure Isabelle wasn't seeing what he was doing to her perfume. Once sure she hadn't seen what was happening, he closed the top again and shook around what was in there, so that the two substances would mix and create a fairly unpleasant smell for the officer. Hopefully it will work... come on Dorchet, say something!

"What the... what in the world is that—oh, damn it all!!! ..." Dorchet managed to say before he opened his car door in a rush and threw up onto the dirt road. And trust me; what he vomited back up was not a pretty sight. It looked like it did include his breakfast, but Edward couldn't tell what exactly this new-founded chimera had consumed for breakfast—it could have been close to anything.

The whole rest of the occupants in the car grimaced as the retching sounds continued, and Al, Ed, and Noah took this chance to scram out of the vehicle. Isabelle, however, paused for a moment before following them into a small forest off the side of the country road. Well, at least she has a conscious to help others. Not hit them in the head with hard as hell wrenches like Winry did...

"What just happened, you three? Did—did someone do something to him??" she asked, turning her head back every few seconds as they ran further into the forest.

"I don't have any time to explain now, Isabelle! Nor to you either, Noah! Just follow me and Al! HURRY!!!" Edward bellowed, motioning for the two women to pick up their paces. If they didn't get out of his nose's zone soon, they'd be dead in no time... without their alchemic powers or any type of gun; they were doomed from the start.

"Brother! Why didn't you think of the aftereffects of his enhanced sense of smell first!?" Alphonse demanded, running straight in line with his older brother. Dammit! I have no idea why! Gah. This... sucks. After a few moments of pure silence, he looked over and saw Al nod his head in understanding.

Once they reached the edge of the forest, Al leaned against a nearby tree to catch his breath, while the brothers waited for the two girls to follow up soon and reach them. Around four minutes later, the girls found the two alchemists. Although they were panting, a smile had formed on both of their faces. Noah nodded to Isabelle, and the alternate Winry asked, "Well, Edward? Didn't you promise us that you would explain what happened back on the road?"

The Fullmetal alchemist smacked his forehead, feigning forgetfulness, but Isabelle quickly pulled his hand away and held it in hers, giving him an almost stern look. Good lord, she's more like Winry than I thought. Her grip is just about as strong as Winry's is...

"Okay, okay. But, be prepared—especially you, Isabelle. You're probably going to think we're freaks and/or psychos after this. Noah... just be quiet and act like you're listening, at least. It'll be over soon enough, and then—"

"You'll be dead, Edward and Alphonse Elric!" the group turned on their heels to find themselves face-to-face with the infamous chimera from Amestris—Dorchet. His uniform was torn off, and he was wearing something like he would wear from back home underneath. It was surely not a piece of clothing you'd find in stores here in France.

The brothers hardened their gaze on the dog chimera and smirked. He's already been killed once in our world. It's shouldn't be hard for him to die a second time! Alphonse moved the two girls away and joined his older brother, primed for the fight. Even without their alchemy, the two young men believed they could fight and kill the chimera.

"He shouldn't be too hard, eh, Al?" Edward sarcastically asked.

"No way, big brother! Easy... as... PIE!!!"

And the battle was off.

Place your bets.