Author's Note:

It's been a long time since I've written fanfiction. Real Life and a writer's block does that to you. Hopefully though, writer's block has been consigned to oblivion. Yay.

Chapter 15

In this world below ground, there was nothing. Without light, the tunnels and rooms were not plunged into darkness, they dwelt within a void, a void where nothing lived and existence was only a dream. Without light, senses were almost deprived. Eyesight was useless, hearing dedicated only the sounds of the body to which the ears were attached, touch could not feel even air - for in this place the wind did not blow. As if breath itself had been banished, this was a realm that belonged to the dead. There was nothing here, except death. It lingered in air like an echo and clung to unseen walls like footsteps long fossilised in time.

With each soft footfall, Teal'c moved slowly through this alien world like a hunting cat. He could have made the job much easier on himself had he only turned on his flashlight but he had long since given up on light. After days on this planet, hiding in this subterranean world from the Jaffa patrols above, he had only now come to understand this fact. The Tok'ra had explored this world with their artificial light sources, and the humans he called allies had later done the same.

As they explored the tunnels and ancient rooms, he had felt as though they were missing something, something important, as if all he had to do was extend one finger in the right direction and he would be allowed to touch that thing he could not see and understand everything that was unknown. As he had watched the lights chase the shadows away from the walls, he had finally realised the truth. Once he had switched off his flashlight, he had felt himself be guided by instincts honed long ago in battle and sensations that were indefinable even to his experience and wisdom. Without light, his skin brushed through the cobwebs of time and tingled as it faced the whispers of the past. For here, no longer obscured by the blinding light, the walls whispered their secrets to those who were willing to listen.

He was not alone.

There had been no sound, no sudden movements in the still air, no different scent to waft away the staleness of an unchanging world, only sharpened senses and experience to tell his conscious mind what his heart knew.

He was not alone.

He eased himself at right angles, painstakingly feeling his way until his sensitive fingers brushed a wall. Carvings embedded into the surface prickled his skin, but he had no time to wonder what they represented. He sank slowly to ground, in a ready crouch, easing his grip along his thigh until his fingers curled reassuring around the handle of his zat. With the same measured calm, he laid his staff on the ground, and pulled free the smaller weapon. Instinct could whisper its own secrets, and he knew without knowing that his staff weapon would not serve him well in this situation.

A sharp stab of pain in his eyes disoriented him and his arm had lifted to protect them from the attack before his mind had registered the pain came from the sudden appearance of light. He could not see its source; it was just out of sight, behind a door that led into the room he was in.

He glanced around quickly, assessing his location. There was no place to hide - it was a small antechamber of some kind and he was already near another set of doors. He turned his attention back to where the light was coming aware now that there were voices from beyond, the voices of Tok'ra speaking in Goa'uld.

"You have concerns?" It was a woman's voice, Ilithya.

"You do not?" Sin replied. "Our supplies are limited, the Jaffa close in on us every day. We must leave this place."

"This is the safest place within access of the Stargate," Anise argued. "We have not explored further into the mountains. We do not know if there is anywhere to hide or whether Jaffa are already there. It takes us further away from the Stargate and any hope we have of leaving this world."

"This place will not be safe much longer and if the Tau'ri go ahead with their plan to return to the Stargate to study the glyphs, we will be discovered immediately. The Tau'ri are reckless as you well know. Colonel O'Neill and his team are among the worst examples of this."

"We have no other choice. We have exhausted our resources in this place. We have to return to the gate."

"You support the Tau'ri in this, Anise?" Ilithya seemed rather sceptical.

There was a pause for a moment, then Anise sighed reluctantly. "They have proven to be... inventive in the past."

"Inventiveness will avail us nothing if we are seen." Sin responded irritably. "The route to the Stargate contains little cover. The Tau'ri were fortunate they were not spotted the first time they made the journey and the location of the Stargate itself is extremely exposed."

"But you would propose we leave this place for a destination unknown to us into territory that remains unexplored? Is that not also reckless?"

"It is not ideal but we have few choices. We will be discovered. The Jaffa are now patrolling this area frequently. If we delay we will be trapped here - we will neither be able to leave for new territory nor travel to the Stargate."

"Ilithya, are you with Sin on this?"

"I do not like the options but I agree we have run out of time in which to find a better alternative."

"What does Selmak say on this matter?"

There was another pause. "We have not addressed this with him."

"Why not?"

"You know the concerns of the High Council, Anise. Allowing Selmak to be placed in the body of a Tau'ri has had consequences unforeseen by us at the time. The host has gained an uncomfortable degree of influence over Selmak's decisions. He allows himself to be too easily swayed by the Tau'ri."

"You assume Selmak will automatically side with the Tau'ri on this matter? Do you know this for certain?" Anise did not wait for a response. "If you truly feel this is the only path we must take to survive, we will have to make this known to the Tau'ri anyway. Your concerns regarding Selmak are therefore irrelevant at this moment in time. What will you recommend if the Tau'ri disagree with your assessment?"

"That we part ways," Sin said bluntly. "We can wait no longer nor can we afford to be captured by Anubis. If the Tau'ri will not come with us, we will travel alone."

Teal'c didn't move from his spot until long after the Tok'ra were gone and his eyes had readjusted to the soulless darkness once again. Eventually, he rose to his feet, putting away his zat and reclaiming his staff, then began to move back to the throne room.

That the Tok'ra were concerned about remaining here was no surprise to him. He shared those concerns and suspected that O'Neill had them as well. What unsettled him was the knowledge that the Tok'ra had lost trust in Selmak, one of their own, for his connections to the Tau'ri.

There had been little choice when General Jacob Carter had become the host to Selmak. Both host and symbiote would have died if they had not united, and the unity had cemented an alliance between the Tok'ra and Tau'ri that had lasted to the present time - both sides had agreed to make Selmak the liaison between their peoples and, until now, Teal'c had assumed this liaison was not a matter for concern.

Apparently, his assumption had been flawed. The Tok'ra had wanted one of their own to represent their interests to the Tau'ri without compromising their needs and desires in return. The Tau'ri had not conformed to that plan and much of the strain in the relationship came from the belief of the Tau'ri that the Tok'ra wanted a one-way relationship rather than a true partnership. Selmak had been one of the few Tok'ra to sympathise with this and it now seemed his sympathy was labelling him a traitor amongst his own people.

Shol'va.

Until Teal'c had joined the Tau'ri in the fight against the Goa'uld, the only way he had possessed to fight their evil had been a path of moderation. As First Prime of Apophis, he had found the power to ease the demands of his God, and deflect the worst of his wrath from humans and Jaffa alike. That path had never been enough for Teal'c but he had never seen any culture capable of resisting in a more direct way. Not until the day that Apophis had travelled to two planets on the distant frontiers of Ra's territory to claim a host for his queen. When he had chosen the host for Apophis, he - and the System Lords themselves - had no way of knowing just how far reaching the consequences of that act would be, or of how they would ripple throughout the entire galaxy like an unchecked tsunami.

He stands, in the centre of a room lit only by natural light and firebrands, surrounded by a village of people who have come to witness his fate, the accusations of crimes from a past that has finally caught up with him.

But he is not the one all eyes are upon right now, for everyone is watching the two men standing before the crowd, discussing his past crimes, revealing to the entire village the story of how he had come to be fighting with humans instead of with Goa'uld.

"The fact is, you work side by side with the man responsible for your wife's fate."

"It was difficult for me at first. I wanted to hate him. But now I know it was a different Teal'c that chose Sha're. And I know that if there were any way for him to help me get my wife back this Teal'c would do it gladly. Even if it meant giving up his own life."

He swallows thickly, as caught up in the emotion as anyone else in the room and the silence that follows the realisation that he can do a man so much wrong and yet witness that same man fight with everything he possesses to save his life instead of condemn it.

Why?

Light split apart the gloom, shattering the darkness into a thousand tendrils that snaked their way back into the corners that the sun could not reach. Teal'c watched the great painted disk on the wall flare into life, a burning red-hot sun that dominated the throne room, with an unflinching gaze staring down symbolism he had once not had the courage to raise his eyes to, let alone openly defy.

He walks into the tent, beholding the sight he had feared but had hoped he would not see - his team-mate, his friend, driven to his knees by the power of the Goa'uld hand device, powerless to do anything but die. All he has to do, all he has to do is raise his staff, pull the trigger and the Goa'uld killing Daniel Jackson will be dead.

But he finds himself frozen by indecision, unable to act, for the Goa'uld killing Jackson is Amonet, the mate of Apophis. To save the life of Daniel Jackson he must kill Amonet but the only way to do that is to kill Amonet's innocent host. Sha're.

He is already responsible for taking the mind and body of Sha're from Daniel Jackson. Can he take her life as well?

There's a clatter as the gun tumbles from Jackson's hand, hitting the ground with a pathetic tinkle. His shoulders are sagging and Teal'c knows he's run out of time. Amonet turns to confront him and the time of choice is over. His staff weapon flares into life almost of its own accord and the Goa'uld crumples to the ground, dead.

It takes Sha're only moments longer to die and Daniel Jackson watches it all.

He can barely believe what he has done, the choice he has been forced to make that was no true choice at all. "I am sorry, Daniel Jackson." He does not ask for forgiveness, how can there be any Tau'ri ritual where a murderer can ask a husband to forgive him for the death of his wife?

"You did the right thing, Teal'c," Jackson whispers.

The rest of SG-1 enter the tent and take in the sight and turn to him for explanation. "Daniel Jackson will be fine," he informs the Colonel softly, and, as he watches the archaeologist turn back to his wife in grief - but not in anger - he knows it's absolutely true. He does not understand - but he accepts.

Before he had met SG-1, loyalty had held two meanings to him. The first was that of unquestioning obedience to one's God; the second was something different, more personal, but which could be summed up in one word.

Bra'tac.

Father, mentor, blood brother; the former First Prime's battle prowess was without doubt and his wisdom without question. He had raised Teal'c after the death of Teal'c's own father; he had trained Teal'c in the ways of the warrior but also in the less honourable - but equally necessary - art of politics and then given him the wisdom to know when to obey a false god and when to oppose him. And when Teal'c had turned his back on Apophis, Chulak and his own family in order to continue the fight, Bra'tac had been there to care for his wife and son as he could not.

There was nothing he would not do for Bra'tac.

However, the loyalty between himself and Bra'tac had never been tested. Neither of them had been forced to make decisions or perform actions that would threaten the faith they had in the other. Loyalty was therefore something Teal'c had thought he understood before meeting the Tau'ri but only later come to realise he had barely scratched the surface of.

The true depth of loyalty had become clear to him after he had joined SG-1; where he had witnessed first hand the events that shook the faith they had in each other to the core, events that had forced them to make decisions with terrible consequences for those who trusted them, or had seen them actively turn on each other. Each time, they had found a path out of the ashes, and emerged from each trial stronger than ever.

That was the lesson Teal'c had learned - that loyalty wasn't faithfulness to one who had done right by you. It was faithfulness to one who had done you wrong and repented. It was the trust that came after betrayal. The ability to forgive.

For all their advanced technology, their experience fighting the Goa'uld and their dedication to each other and their cause, Teal'c suspected that true loyalty was not something Tok'ra fully understood. In that, they were like the Goa'uld they shared a nature with: they rewarded alliance and obedience but punished dissent and defiance swiftly. It was very rare they could see beyond defiance or betrayal and forgive.

Teal'c wondered if that was a lesson Selmak had learned off the Tau'ri just as he had done, if that was what set this ancient Tok'ra apart from the rest of his kind and why the High Council now found it so hard to relate to him.

"Thinking deep thoughts?"

Teal'c's gaze slid to his periphery and found Quinn at his side, gazing at the pictures on the wall as intently as he had been a moment before. He glanced around the room only now realising they were alone.

"The Tok'ra no longer trust Selmak," he responded bluntly.

Quinn stared at him for a moment. "You sure?"

"I am sure, Jonas Quinn."

"Well... why not?"

"His trust for the Tau'ri is too great. They are uncomfortable with that."

"Oh. Yeah." Quinn was silent for a moment. "Seems to be going around."

Teal'c glanced at him again, remembering that Jonas Quinn was in exile from his own world for having sided with the Tau'ri when Daniel Jackson had been fatally exposed to radiation while there.

"Do you understand the nature of loyalty, Jonas Quinn?"

Quinn blinked and eyed him, as if wondering where on earth that question had come from. "Uh... yeah... I hope so."

"I thought I did. Until I met the Tau'ri. Then I learned I only understood half a truth."

Quinn squinted at him for a moment then turned back to stare at the sun disk. He seemed to be thinking, and then he finally nodded, slowly. "It's funny - back on Kelowna I was an advisor on the ethical use of science to some of my country's most powerful people. But when I think about it, what they were really interested in when they used the word "ethical", was in finding ways to justify moral ambiguity that didn't make them look too bad to the public. Earth uses ethics for the same game but some of them are willing to stand up to it. How to take a stand is what I learned off you guys. Especially Dr Jackson."

"Daniel Jackson is very good at... taking a stand."

"Hey! You can't leave me here like this!"

"I haven't left your side, Teal'c. And I'm not going to."

Teal'c stared at the sun disk, disturbed by the sudden realisation that perhaps they were not as good at taking a stand as Quinn thought they were. They were trapped on this alien world, standing on the edge of a chasm that would drag them all in the moment the Tau'ri and the Tok'ra began arguing over what course of action they should take next, when they should have been back at the SGC standing beside Daniel Jackson with the same determination he had displayed for them in the past.

When he had lost his mind, had thought he was going to die and could not distinguish reality from dream, Daniel Jackson had defied the rules and orders of beings so powerful Teal'c could barely comprehend their nature, to stand by the Jaffa in his time of need. Now he had left his team-mate, his friend, in the SGC, in a similar state of mental confusion, because he had chose to follow orders instead of taking a stand.

Did he understand loyalty as well as he had just claimed or was he lying to himself, cowering behind a cloak of blankets to shield himself from the painful truth like a child that needed protection?

"I guess this is where it all began," Quinn was musing, following his own train of philosophical thought. "For Earth. Standing in front of the symbol of Ra and deciding to take a stand."

Strip away the illusion to find the reality... Teal'c blinked, staring at the disk and wondered why he had not seen it sooner.

"You are correct, Jonas Quinn, in that the Tau'ri were confronted with the symbol of Ra before their fight began. This, however," he added darkly, staring at the sun disk on the wall. "Is not the symbol of Ra. And we have been fools to think that it was."