At the Travelodge a row was waging between Connie and Donna, as the trauma of having given birth had apparently shaken the formers belief that the latter was the fountain of all knowledge, and she was, in fact, spouting utter crap.

The row was centred on Donna's insistence that baby Jesus should be wrapped in a Travelodge towel and placed in the sink in the hotel bathroom. Connie however was firm in her resolve that her child had a fully decorated nursery and Prada romper suits at home and she was going to saddle up the donkey again and take her newborn to find them.

In the end, it was Joseph who managed to keep the peace by pointing out to Connie, aided by Donna's cue cards, that they had to remain put as they were expecting important visitors bearing gifts.

Connie wasn't particularly bothered about the gifts but the important visitors were of interest to her since there was nothing she loved more than the chance to hobnob with influential people, and she so she stayed put, cuddling Jesus, wrapped in towels to her, and promising him a more appropriate wardrobe as soon as she could possibly manage it, before sending Joseph off to arrange champagne and canapés because she didn't want her guests thinking motherhood was going to impair her ability to successfully entertain.

Unfortunately for the Casualty cast, who arrived shortly afterwards, catering at the Basingstoke Travelodge didn't extend to such things as champagne and canapés and they found themselves chowing down on instant coffee and custard creams from packets Joseph and Donna managed to find on the chambermaids trolley but they weren't complaining, unlike Connie who threatened to sue Donna under the Trades Description Act since she didn't consider Harry and Co to be worthy on the moniker of 'Important Visitors' given the fact that she could see them any day of the week (providing the BBC put on a minibus from Elstree to Bristol).

Connie's anger was only sated when Donna stopped eating the grapes Harry had brought long enough to read the next bit of the story,

"Not long after the shepherds arrived, the 3 wise men also turned up to pay their respects to the baby Jesus."

"3 wise men?" Connie asked, perking up considerably at the 'M' word, before asking Joseph to pass over her handbag so she could do her make up, brush her hair and generally make herself look presentable for the latest arrivals.

When they finally appeared however she wished she hadn't bothered, and told them so before bursting out laughing.

"You?" she said, in between her giggles, "You have to be kidding! Wise men? I mean for gods sake…" she pointed at the first man, "You, were jailed for 11 months for fraud." Then the second man, "You married Lola… twice. And," she pointed to the third man, "as for you Mr Parker, need I really say anything at all…"

Michael, knowing his former wife well enough to know that in the face of one of her moods the best thing to do was ply her with gifts, moved to her side,

"I am the first wise man." He said, for that was what the script said he should say, "And I come bearing the gift of…"

She cut him off, "VRSA?"

He sighed, "Don't be like that Cons." He pushed a bag of Scandinavian Airways Complementary Peanuts into her hand, looking slightly embarrassed, "Sorry. It was all I could get on the way over."

She took the nuts and looked at Ric, "What have you got?"

He looked uncomfortable, "I did have something, money, but I passed a casino on the way here and..." he shrugged, "… sorry."

Connie smiled, because she'd always had a soft spot for him and besides which he appeared to be wearing something she wanted. She pointed at his shirt,

"Is that Ralph Lauren?"

Ric nodded, and Connie smiled further still.

"Good. Take it off." She looked down at her baby, "It looks like I'll be getting your wardrobe sorted sooner than I thought."

Time passed. Matt bestowed a stethoscope on the baby, then they all made a toast of instant coffee to his good health and fortune (the baby's, not Matt's - although their mental ages were fairly similar), and before Connie knew what was happening Donna was taking centre stage in the middle of the room to announce that,

"They all lived happily ever after."

Then everyone assembled sang 'We Wish You A Merry Christmas' in a very unprofessional and tuneless manner, all of which was far too much for Connie, who closed her eyes and prayed that she'd never wake up.