Kingdom Insanity 2

By RedBlackandWhite

RBW's (not Mindless, but instead Maniacal) Drabble: Yo Peoples! Sup! Okay as of 9:18 am (east coast), June 19th, I do not have a correct answer to my penname contest. Here's a hint. The colors have nothing to do with heartless or nobodies (sorry Harmonize), but they are about a certain 3 friends, and the order of the colors correspond with the order of their heights (shortest to tallest, so like Red has to do with the shortest friend). Now if you can't guess it I must be writing for 6 year olds, which I really hope I'm not. If I get more than one right answer, I will decide the winner based on who emailed me first. I GOT DIFFERENT REVIEWERS THIS TIME! YAYYYYYY! Yo Peoples! Sup! Okay as of 9:18 am (east coast), June 19th, I do not have a correct answer to my penname contest. Here's a hint. The colors have nothing to do with heartless or nobodies (sorry ), but they are about a certain 3 friends, and the order of the colors correspond with the order of their heights (shortest to tallest, so like Red has to do with the shortest friend). Now if you can't guess it I must be writing for 6 year olds, which I really hope I'm not. If I get more than one right answer, I will decide the winner based on who emailed me first. I GOT DIFFERENT REVIEWERS THIS TIME! YAYYYYYY!

RESPONSES TO REVIEWS:

Harmonize: NEVER, SORAS HAIR WILL REMAIN A MYSTERY FOREVER! MUHAHHAHAHHAHA!

Doom () (who is actually my friend who is replacing Riku's original spot and only registered onto the site to annoy me with reviews): I have said it a billion times, NO DORK RIGHTS, EVER! That's right I'm putting it in my story too. I will allow dork rights when Sora gets taller than Riku, which, as you can ask anyone who knows Kingdom Hearts as much as I do, will happen right after hell freezes over.

Meinos877: Nooo, Demyx shall fall to my mighty blade, just kidding, he is going be fun to write about.

Sora'sGuardianAngel: Sorry! You didn't get it right. Nice try, though.

NocturnalWriter (Who reviewed my story at 1:15 in the morning, such dedication): Ohhhh you were sooo close! Well, on the right track at least. You've gotten the closest. DO THEY REALLY MAKE HAIR COLORING FOR RIKU'S HAIR? THAT'S AWSOME!

Sora: (helping Riku operate a drilling laser on the safe, which is still intact)

Kairi: (Playing Kingdom Hearts 2 after beating Resident Evil 3, which must be weird)

Disclaimer: I don't own Kingdom Hearts, its characters, Resident Evil, Square Enix, Disney, the Food Network, Hello Kitty, and Webster. No worries, though, because I'm going to buy out Square Enix and Disney someday, and then I shall RULE the WORLD! But for now I don't.

A/N: Some language is in this chapter.

Land of Dragons and Hello Kitty

We arrived in the Land of Dragons in a bamboo forest, weary from the long trip. "CHOPSTICKS!" I scream. I mean we are in China. Everyone stared, which I was used to by now. We started walking until we got to a sign that said "Welcome to the Land of Dragons". I took out a red marker and fixed the sign to my taste.

The sign now said "Welcome to the Land of Dragons, finish your shit and get the fuck out."

"Muhahahaha, ok lets go." I said, stifling my laughter. I looked back and only Sora and Goofy were surprised. We got towards a clearing in the bamboo forest and saw a guy and a shadow of a monster. It was obviously Mulan and Mushu. "A Heartless?" Donald asked Sora. "I dunno, but let's get the jump on 'em." Said Sora. They started to run at the shadow, leaving me, Riku (who hadn't said a word for a least half an hour), and Goofy. Goofy said "Shouldn't we look before we leap?" He was ignored (poor Goofy). "AHHHHH!" cried Sora and Donald, weapons out and ready.

Mulan and Mushu (who had jumped out and onto Mulan) flinched. Sora and Donald stopped. "Mushu?" asked Donald. "That's right I know you've heard of me, I'm the legendary Mushu!" he said, starting his monologue. "We missed you!" cried Sora. "Yeah well you better hope I missed You because you're….you're…" Mushu finally decided to look at the people he was yelling at. "SORA! DONALD! GOOFY! AND 2 PEOPLE I DON'T KNOW!" (And it seems that we have a challenger in the Bluntness contest!)

"You know these guys?" asked Mulan, hopelessly lost. "Know them, man we used to kick all kinds of bad guy butt together!" answered Mushu. The introductions ensued, and Mushu introduced us to "Ping", who was going to join the Imperial Army. Sora introduced Riku and I to Mushu and "Ping". Mushu then told us that since Sora and Co. had used Mushu in the last game, we had to pay "Ping" back. Sora agreed (thank God he isn't a diplomat, if he was the Western World would be screwed). "Great! It would be easier to fit in if I was with guys, like you." Said Mulan (screw saying Ping, I don't like that name.)

"Whadda mean, 'guys like us'? Asked Sora. "Oops." said the Mulan, realizing that she blew her cover (BOOM). "You're pretendin' to be a boy, aren't ya?" asked Goofy, apparently having gained 10 IQ points while sleeping for a year. "Yo-You're a GIRL!" cried Sora, amazed and gaping, as was Donald. Riku and I (who had seen past the girl's disguise about 3 minutes ago) did a "Leon", putting our index and middle finger to our foreheads, amazed at Sora's stupor. "You didn't notice?" asked Mulan, pleased with her success. "No!" said Sora. "Mushu, I think its working" she said hopefully. "I dunno, those two will fall for anything." Said Mushu. "Damn straight." I said, out of nowhere. "Amen." Muttered Riku. "I'm right here!" cried Sora. He was ignored. Again.

(I'm sorry that was such a long beginning. Hopefully going faster now…)

We got to the camp, which was swarming with Heartless.

Same old same old. We defeated the annoying things and were greeted by the captain dude. He told Mulan to go home. Sora protested and asked him to give Mulan another chance. We did 3 tasks, which were defeating a crapload of Heartless. I won't bore you with specifics, because it got monotonously bland. We got to the burned village after our missions. Mushu told us that he saw the Hun guy (the bad guy in this world people sheesh) going into a cave. We went there, got trapped, and Sora, Riku, Mulan and I had to fight a bunch of Heartless while Donald and Goofy watched behind an invisible wall. Mulan and Sora did their Limit (a group attack) twice and we won. We left and the village had been attacked again.

We went after the Hun guy and met him at the summit. We fought loads of heartless and then Mulan shot a rocket at the mountain. The Hun guy was buried but somehow got to the Imperial City. The captain dude figured out Mulan was a girl, and got really mad at her. We raced to the city and met the Hun guy. We fought him and since it was6 on 1, we won easily. Everyone was thanked by the Emperor Grandpa guy and Sora opened a new pathway. We left the Land of Dragons after that.

Back on the Gummi ship everyone retreated to their spots. I didn't get the gunner seat because Sora asked Riku to hold me back and he did. Goofy got it instead. Sora was sleeping in his seat, I guess he didn't make it back to one of the bedrooms (yes, bedrooms!), Donald was also catching the Z's and Goofy was blasting away while Riku watched the Food Network. Being the amazing game organizer that I am (sarcasm), I decided that all of us should play a game to pass the 6 hour flight. Hmmm, now what to play? Spin the bottle would only be fun if we actually had both sexes on the ship, so I guess we had to settle with Truth or Dare.

Muhahahhahahaha…

I went up to Goofy and told him my plan. He put the guns on auto-pilot, and went to wake up the duck and the brunet. I told him I didn't care how he woke them up, but as I went to the back room I heard Sora say "GOOFY WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING?"

Riku had fallen asleep on the couch. Typical. I decided to have some fun and promptly pulled myself over the couch so that I was upside-down and was positioned right in front of Riku's eyes. I started poking him with one hand (while keeping my position).

He slowly opened his eyes, my face being the first and only thing he saw.

"Hi." I said with the straightest face possible.

"GAHHH!" he shrieked, spasming off the couch and hitting the floor. I cracked up, tears flowing out of my eyes from laughing so hard. Needless to say Riku was mad. Okay scratch that, pissed off. Okay, scratch that, REALLY pissed off. He calmed down though (he's Riku, its like the law for him to be calm). I told him that we were playing Truth or Dare.

He flatly said no and I told him that if he didn't play then he would wake up with hair the same color as Sora's eyes. "You wouldn't" he stated, nervously. "You going to take that chance?" I said, very smugly I might add. "Fine I'll play." We went to the living room and sat where the others were and began with Sora.

It was hilarious.

I'll sum it up for you because if I told you everything then I'd be sued in 21 states and you would be scarred for life. Okay screw that I'll tell you everything anyway (I DON'T NEED A LAWYER).

"Okay Sora, Truth or Dare." I asked. "Umm, truth." He said nervously. "Okay, what really happened to you're hair, and don't lie because Riku will know." I said. "Damnit. Well...BLEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEP…and that's why my hair is how it is." Goofy's mouth had hit the floor and Donald passed out. "Psh, naturally amazing, my ass." I said. Sora blushed for some reason. Goofy was next. "Gawrsh, okay, Donald. Truth or Dare?" asked the dog. "Dare!" exclaimed Donald, ready for a challenge. "Okay, you have to let Sora set you're tail on fire!" he said. "Ooo, nice one, Goofy." I remarked, approvingly. Sora set the duck's rear end on fire and Donald ran around (screaming) until Riku threw water on him.

"Okay Sora, your turn." I said, keeping the game going. "Okay, hmm. Riku. Truth or Dare." "Truth." Said Riku offhandedly. "Haha okay, what is one obsession that you have that you've never told anyone about?" inquired Sora. "Ugh." Said Riku. "Um, I…." Riku mumbled his reply. "What was that? I didn't hear you." Sora said, enjoying himself. "I love Hello Kitty!" Riku screamed.

Holy shit, never saw that coming.

Everybody gaped. "My turn!" cried Donald. "Goofy! Truth or Dare?" he asked. "Truth." Said Goofy. "Are you a virgin?" Every human in the room sweatdropped. "Uhh… umm… no."

Can you say, I'm never going to get a decent night's sleep ever again for the rest of my life, 3 times fast?

Everybody recovered from Goofy's response and it was Sora's turn again. "Michael."

Oh fuck.

"Truth or Dare?" he asked. "Truth" I nervously responded. "Name somebody you like." Wow that was bland, so I decided to go over the top and tell them about Scary Goth Girl. (A/N: Yes Doom I am writing about Scary Goth Girl!) I told them and they were shocked.

"My turn." Murmured Riku. "Sora. Truth or Dare." "Tr...Truth." Sora answered, really nervously. I would be too, this is Riku here, and he had a particularly evil look. "Have you ever questioned you're sexuality?" Silence. More Silence. Finally Sora answered. "Well from when I turned 12 until I was 13, I was bisexual." Riku passed out. We woke him up with a nice pail of cold water. "I get the last turn!" I screamed happily. I had planned this from the beginning.

"Sora AND Riku. Truth or Dare." They looked at each other. "Dare." They said in unison.

Ahahahahhahahahaha.

"Okay then, you both must change into each other's clothing and then Tango with each other." I said. Everyone else's faces turned pink and purple. Donald and Goofy from lack of oxygen and Sora and Riku for obvious reasons. They changed ("damn Sora, why are you're shoes so huge?") and then tangoed.

I'll tell you one thing. Riku tangoing with another guy in Sora's shoes deserves a word for itself. Let me call up Webster right now.

After the dancing, the fact that Sora's hoodie got caught in Riku's hair, Donald needing CPR from laughing so hard (by Goofy, ew), me denting the wall from hitting my head against it from not being able to breathe, and getting Riku's shoes off of Sora's feet, we were coming up to Beast's Castle.

Everybody was relieved.

A/N: I know that I said 2 worlds but that took forever to write, btw I hated writing this chapter, save for the TorD part, which was an Idea I got yesterday while practicing piano. Haha everybody wants to know about Sora's hair. Oh well. Come on people I really want to write the interlude this week! Give me a right answer! Ever since I started this story the earliest I've fallen asleep at night has been 12:30 because I need to write all of these ideas! I'm turning into a sleepwalking trainwreck here! Okay now that I'm done ranting, R&R!

Sora and Riku: (Break into the safe at last, only to find a smaller safe inside)

Kairi: (Finishing opening pathway to Beasts Castle)